He’d finally fallen asleep the night before, but when he woke up he was so hard it was painful and she was sleeping so peacefully. He hadn’t wanted to wake her.
He had thought that having sex would get her out of his system, yet the more he was around her, the more he wanted her and no matter what she said, he still feared losing control around her and hurting her.
Although that wasn’t the only reason he wanted to avoid her. He snarled at himself. He could already feel his heart warming toward her, wanting her and not just for sex.
By that evening, after catching her scent everywhere all day, he was desperate to see her, to touch her, taste her, and now he had no idea of the reception he’d receive.
Chapter Forty
Truths
Raven walked beside her niece as they made their way along the lake. The sun was rapidly setting and the air was crisp. Tierney had come and asked her to go for a walk and she agreed, feeling bad at how she’d blamed her niece for something that wasn’t even her fault.
“You do remember I can feel what you’re feeling, right?” Tierney said and grinned up at her.
Raven rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Yeah, I do, you got it from me, after all.” She paused for a moment. Her niece may have gotten her empathy from her, but Raven had kept hers locked up for twenty years, and before that, she had to shield really well when she was supposed to punish someone. “I don’t know what is wrong with me today,” she finally said with a deep sigh.
“Just today?” Tierney asked and Raven scowled at her.
Tierney chuckled.
The reality was, Raven hated the emotions that had been swirling in her all day. She knew her niece wasn’t a threat to whatever was going on between her and Soroyan. Tierney was happily mated and bonded to two men she loved heart and soul.
“Sorry, I’m …” Raven threw her hands up, not sure what she was. “I’ve been pissy all day, sorry.”
Tierney had a little frown on her face as they walked. “You do know Soroyan and I are just friends, right?”
“Yeah,” Raven said with a little growl that wasn’t very convincing. Tierney grabbed her arm, stopping her.
Wise amethyst eyes watched her and Raven, though she was almost a thousand years old, suddenly felt like an ass.
“Soroyan spent so long hating, that when he began to like us all, he fought it. He didn’t understand what he was feeling. There is something dark in him and he craves the light, making him think for a little while that what he felt was love. He understands now and I can see how he feels about you and it’s not just as a friend,” she said.
“No,” Raven denied then drew in a deep breath and looked away. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want him to feel like that for me, and I don’t want to feel—” She waved her hand at herself. “Like this for him. I feel like a crazy person. Besides, I can’t stay here, I have unfinished business.” Yet the devil’s advocate in her asked how important it really was.
“Is that the truth, or are you just scared to love someone again?” Tierney asked and bent down to pick up a couple rocks. Raven clenched her teeth at how blunt and possibly accurate her niece was. No, the rebels needed her, she told herself.
Finally, she looked at Tierney. “No, it’s important, we are close to finding the head of the biggest cell, besides, I recently found something that the Ilyium are building and I can’t imagine it is anything good,” she said.
After staring at her a moment, Tierney sighed and then skipped the rock across the lake. She skipped a few more, then the last one and they both watched it bob across the surface ten times before sinking.
“That’s too bad. Soroyan needs someone to love who will love him back,” Tierney said and turned back toward the house.
Raven fought to control her frantic pulse at Tierney’s words. “Well, that is definitely not me. I already found my soul mate.”
Tierney stared shrewdly at her. “Are you sure there is only one soul mate for everyone?”
Raven sighed. “Well, that’s what I’ve always heard.” Yet she felt so strongly for Soroyan, she wasn’t no longer sure who she was really trying to convince.
She had given her intel to her contact with the rebels and it wasn’t like they didn’t have anyone else who could take up where she left off if she did decide to stay. Raven didn’t think of all that as they made their way up the rocky incline.
Neither of them said anything more but Raven shivered at the feeling that someone was watching her, and not just anyone. Soroyan. She sent her senses out ahead of her, and glanced up to see him staring at her through the window in the great room.
“You will stay a little longer, won’t you?” Tierney asked, bringing her back to their talk.
Raven nodded. “Yes, I told your dad I would.” She couldn’t leave until she knew her brother was better, or well on his way to being better. She needed to take another crack at Amelis, she thought as she tried to ignore the heated gaze warming her insides.
“Thank you,” Tierney said as they walked around the corner and through the door and into her brother’s home.
Raven tensed up as she entered the great room and sure enough, she felt his eyes on her. She purposely didn’t look at him. It was actually busy as the wolves sat and talked in little groups with the Phoenixes and Sami. Jax and Thaniel were playing some video game on the large TV with Bastien.
She’d learned what some of the different electronics were called the first day she was there. Brimstone insisted on showing her how to play, at least until his strange female friend started glaring daggers at Raven.
Finally, unable to resist the pull, she met Soroyan’s intense gaze across the room. The fire in his eyes set her body blazing as she remembered what they’d done the night before.
Raven turned away, not wanting to encourage him. She really didn’t need the complication and if she admitted it to herself, she was still a little pissed about how he’d acted earlier.
She headed down the hall to talk to her brother and see how he was doing. Quietly she opened the door and peeked inside. Zander lay unmoving under the covers, so she moved further into the room to make sure he was just sleeping.
Glad to see his chest slowly rising and falling, she summoned her power to see if he had been put back into his coma or if he was just sleeping. She smiled when she realized he was sleeping and turned away. She left the room and quietly closed the door behind her when all her senses began to tingle. Heat raced through her body and she knew it was too late. It was him.
She met Soroyan’s heated gaze with as much defiance as she could muster, knowing she’d need it to get away.
“How is he?” he asked, whole body taut and taking her by surprise with his question.
Raven blinked and it took her a moment to realize what he was asking. “He’s asleep. Otherwise the same,” she said, voice softening as she spoke about her brother.
Soroyan inhaled, breathing in her scent. There was such intense hunger in his eyes. “I apologize for my behavior earlier.” He paused, not breaking the stare. Raven’s heart melted even further. “You make me want things,” he said and she knew exactly what he meant.
She swallowed deeply. “Maybe, but this isn’t a good idea.”
“No,” he agreed and she gasped when his mouth landed on hers. Her lips parted as one hand slipped around her back, pulling her up against his solid, hard body and the other cradled her head.
His mouth devoured her and her senses were whirling when a noise from the great room distracted her. Heart thundering in her chest, she pulled away just enough to murmur, “Not here.”
Soroyan, respecting her wishes, tightened his arms and butterflies filled her when he lifted her off her feet. He quickly moved down the hall to the next door all the while tasting her, licking and sucking, trailing kisses over her neck and chest. He opened the door and then kicked it shut behind them once they were in his room as his lips claimed hers.
“My brother is in the next room,” she warned, breaking the kiss
once again. She needed to think, to breathe without him consuming her.
“We’ll be quiet,” he said, pushing her up against the wall.
Raven’s hands slipped under his shirt to roam over his whole body as she moaned at the wild taste of him. He filled her senses. Then he nibbled her lips before trailing kisses down the column of her throat and around her neck to suck and nibble on her ear lobe.
She could feel him tremble as he fought for control and he finally pulled away. Breathing ragged, he rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. “I can’t seem to keep away from you,” he said, voice husky and just like that, she was on fire, wet and ready for him.
Raven moved her hands from the skin of his back to his neck, intending to grip his hair and bring his lips back to hers, when she touched the collar around his neck. Soroyan’s words, along with Tierney’s from earlier rang in her mind, making her wonder. Could he be just seeking her light to his dark? For even though she knew she was no longer just light, she was born of it, as was Tierney.
She drew on her power just a slight bit, and gasped at what she saw inside of him.
Suddenly Soroyan tensed up and pulled away, making her want to cry out at the distance between them.
“What are you doing?” he asked, staring at her.
“Tierney was right,” she mumbled, staring right back at him as she tried to catch her breath. Her body still tingled with hunger for him.
“Tierney? Right about what?” he asked suspiciously.
“She said there was a darkness in you.” Raven took a step toward him and Soroyan backed even further away from her.
“What happened?” she asked, heart racing for a completely different reason. The pain she could see in his eyes was nothing to what she felt inside of him. It made her heart ache.
“Nothing,” he said, turning away to stare out the window into the moonlight.
“Well, it’s obviously not nothing,” she said.
Soroyan shook his head again. “Leave it alone, Raven.”
With his pain almost overwhelming her, Raven strengthened her shields. “Soroyan?” She moved up beside him. “You can talk to me.”
“No. You were right, this is a bad idea,” he said.
She laid a hand on his arm and his need shivered through him and into her. Then he shrugged her off.
“Just leave me alone, please.” Without looking at her, he turned and walked out.
Raven swallowed the lump in her throat, hating that she’d put him back somewhere that was so painful. She hadn’t meant to and wasn’t really sure why she’d done what she had. Was Tierney right, was she just running away?
With a sigh and worried about him, she sat down on his bed and ran her hand over the covers. She could smell his wild, powerful masculinity in this room, though she was aware he had only been occupying the room since he’d been hurt.
Part of her screamed to go after him, but the other part, the independent part that had been alone for most of her life, knew he didn’t want her seeing him in this state. Still, the worry wouldn’t go away.
Finally, she lay back and summoned her power, letting it fill her completely. Then she wove a spell protecting her body and when she was confident it was strong enough, she let her soul free.
She followed his mental signature through the house and outside into the night. He hadn’t interacted with anyone as he made his way past the Okami sentinels and up the mountain. She found him sitting on a large slab rock, overlooking the dark valley.
Clouds hid the moon and the air was thick with the promise of snow. Soroyan sat, staring blankly out at nothing, and she knew he was lost somewhere in his past. Somewhere painful that he tried to keep locked up tightly, not letting anyone see.
Raven wanted to offer comfort more than she ever had to anyone in her life, yet she was afraid he’d reject it. Still, she wasn’t in her corporeal form, and if she toned her strength down a bit, he wouldn’t know.
Slowly, she made her way over to him and wrapped metaphysical arms around him. She drew his sadness into her, crying at the depths of his pain as she cradled his head against her, petting him, letting him know she cared.
She cared.
At that thought, Raven was instantly slammed back into her body. No! What had she done? She couldn’t afford to care, not like that. Shit! Shaken, she rose to her feet and needing a distraction, she made her way down the hall and below to where their prisoners were being held.
Raven pushed all thoughts of Soroyan from her mind and entered Amelis’s cell. “Wake up,” she said, anger coursing through her. How could she have been so stupid to let herself care that deeply?
“What? Why?” Amelis opened her eyes. “No, I’m tired,” she said and turned toward the wall.
“I said, wake up,” Raven growled and using her power, she forced Amelis to turn and face her.
“Wh—?” Amelis gasped and quickly sat up, her hand going to her belly. “What do you want?”
Raven smirked and there was nothing nice or gentle about it. “You already know I don’t give a shit about you or your baby, right?” she asked, telling a half-lie. She did care about the baby, since it was supposedly her brother’s. Even if it wasn’t, it was still an innocent. Although Amelis didn’t know that Raven intended to use it to her advantage.
Amelis swallowed deeply.
“Good. Now tell me how to break the spell you put on my brother.” Raven said.
Amelis shook her head, weary and Raven could see the defeat in her. “You can’t, no one can, only he can.”
“What do you mean, only he can?” Raven asked, a shiver of horror going through her.
“He needs to find his true love,” Amelis said, staring up at her vacantly. Raven blinked as sudden fear, quickly followed by horror, filled her. No! Her brother had met and lost his true love— his soul mate fourteen years ago. Did that mean her brother was destined to live like this the rest of his life? “What exactly do you mean by true love?” she growled, grabbing Amelis by the shoulder and giving her a shake.
Amelis pulled away from her and scooted back onto the bed, fear bright in her eyes. “What are you?”
Raven smiled, but it didn’t reach her cold eyes. “I’m the one who will escort your soul to the fiery depths of hell if you don’t tell me the truth.”
Amelis shivered and began to shake her head. “It’s the truth, I promise.” Raven advanced on her and Amelis held up a hand. “If I could fix it, I would, honestly!”
Raven waited. “True love. Tell me exactly what you mean.”
“Just that, he needs to find true love,” Amelis said.
“A soul mate?” Raven asked, heart thumping.
Amelis nodded. “Ah, yeah, yes?” she said it as if she wasn’t too sure.
Fury ripped through Raven. “My brother is a good male, one of the best I’ve ever met. You deserve to die very, very painfully for what you’ve done to him,” she said and turned away before she really hurt the woman.
Raven locked the door, and barely holding on to her rage, she walked past the guards and out of the room. Demons, her brother was so fucked!
As she made her way down the hall, she caught Chloe stepping into the hall from her brother’s room and quietly closing the door behind her.
“Oh, hi,” Chloe jumped when she saw Raven. Her hand flew to her chest as she tried to catch her breath. “You startled me,” the blonde said with a little smile.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” Raven studied the woman who was turning red under her gaze.
“Can I help you with anything?” Chloe asked nervously before meeting Raven’s eyes again.
Raven felt some of her fury dissipate. It was hard to be angry around the woman. “No, I’m fine. How is he?” she asked, indicating the room where her brother was.
Chloe’s expression was serious and sad as she shrugged. “He’s … okay at the moment, sleeping.”
“Thank you, Chloe,” Raven said sincerely.
With a swallow
, Chloe nodded and Raven could feel the blonde’s eyes on her as she walked away.
Chapter Forty-One
The Lost
Soroyan hoped to slip inside unnoticed the next morning. His plan was to shower and change while everyone was still asleep, then slip back out again. Luck wasn’t on his side. As he made his way through the kitchen, he heard Tierney’s voice in the next room.
“What are we going to do with her?” she asked. There was a moment of silence as her question was contemplated.
Soroyan entered the great room and saw Sami, Thaniel, Tierney, and Jax sitting at a round table, drinking coffee. His heart warmed at the sight of his friends and the new emotions startled him.
Tierney shifted and he glimpsed the person across from her. His heart began to race at the sight of Raven. She had her hands wrapped around her mug and as she lifted her gorgeous, yet troubled violet eyes to his, uncontrolled hunger turned his body instantly hard.
Soroyan felt like someone had knocked all the breath out of him.
“Hi,” Tierney said, smiling at him.
Unable to answer, he just nodded and started across the room toward the hallway and escape. He didn’t get far.
“We’re discussing our prisoners,” Jax said, halting him. Tierney waved him over.
“We were trying to figure out what to do with them,” she said.
As he made his way over to the group, Soroyan tried not to look at Raven. He failed. She glanced quickly at him and then away. It was obvious something was troubling her, and he couldn’t help but wonder if it was what happened the night before. If it was, he certainly couldn’t blame her, he’d been giving her mixed signals and it really wasn’t fair to her.
Still, her seeing what was inside of him and bringing up his most painful memories had paralyzed him and made him realize once again that he needed to keep his distance.
Then he realized what Tierney said. “Why do anything?” he asked as Jax pulled out a chair for him to sit.
Tierney gave him a wry smile but it was Sami that spoke.
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