by Alle Wells
Mama set a plate of bacon on the table and cut her eyes at me. “What’s wrong with you, Annette? You’re walking like an old granny.”
Adam snickered at Mama’s joke as I sat down. Mama and Adam were so much alike that sometimes they seemed like the same person.
Beth answered for me. “Annette was attacked by a dog last night.”
Mama sat and placed a blue gingham napkin in her lap. “What dog?”
I swirled a spoon through my grits. “It wasn’t a dog.”
Mama sipped coffee from a Corelle cup with a blue cornflower design. “What is it, then? Are you hurt?”
I stared into my plate as I stammered. “I was raped…by three boys.”
Silence fell over the kitchen table. I kept my eyes on my plate, but I felt theirs on me. The kitchen was so quiet that, for a moment, I could hear them breathing. They are my family. They will help me. They will make those boys pay for what they did to me.
Daddy bellowed, “Margaret Annette Bevels, do you have any idea what you are implying?”
Hearing his stern voice call me Margaret Annette made me feel uglier and more tainted. I knew that I was doomed if someone at the table didn’t come to my defense soon. Who will rescue me? Adam was out, for sure. Mama? Jeff? Beth?
Mama narrowed her blue eyes at me. “Annette, what’s the meaning of such an awful accusation?”
I looked at the four faces around the table and realized that I had to take my chance at being heard. Those boys had to pay for what they did to me. What if they don’t believe me? I have to make it sound like it’s not my fault.
My voice quivered as I spoke as loudly as I could. “Greg Sneed led me into the equipment building during halftime. He started raping me, and then three of his friends came in and did it, too. No, two of his friends did it to me. The other one left.”
Adam leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “Come on, Annette. Do you really expect us to believe that cockamamie story? How many did you say? Two, three, or four? And, who are these friends of yours?”
Adam knew how to get the upper hand. Embarrassment shattered my courage. I began to fidget in my seat, and my voice grew weaker. “They’re not my friends. They were his friends. I don’t know who they were. It was too dark. Greg held me down while…”
Jeff raised his palms the way that his friend, Greg, had the night before. “Hold on, here. You’re telling me that Greg held you down?”
I looked at Jeff, the brother I could count on. I spat the words out quickly, “Yeah, he did it to me first, and then he smashed my head into floor with his hand over my face while...”
Jeff interrupted me. “Hold on, here. In the first place, Greg is pre-engaged to Cindy Reese, the best looking girl in school. Now, why would he want to…I mean, why would a guy who is practically married do something like that? It just don’t add up, Annette. Who did you say the other guys were?”
I whimpered a helpless whine. “I don’t know.”
Adam leaned closer to my face. “You’re lying! I can smell a liar a mile away. That’s why I’m going to law school.”
Daddy threw his napkin down and pushed away from the table. “Annette, you are implying that a violent crime has happened on my school grounds, on my watch. That, my girl, isn’t happening. You just get your head straight about that. You will not ruin my school’s reputation with such wild talk.”
Mama took over where Daddy left off. Her eyes roved over her children seated at the table. “Your father is right. This conversation is not to leave this house. I do business with Mr. and Mrs. Sneed, and they go to our church. Even though they sit midway to the back of the church, I still have to be nice to them. Do you all understand me? Our reputation is at stake here. I’ll not have our name dragged through the mud. Annette just had a bad dream. She let her imagination run away with her, that’s all.”
Mama started clearing the dishes away while I stared at the uneaten food in front of me.
“Annette, if you aren’t feeling well, I’ll take you to see Dr. Joe on Monday.”
I shuddered and sniffled. “Do I have to go to school?”
Daddy picked up his golf bag and turned on his way out the door. “You just stay home with your mother until…whatever is happening to you blows over.”
Adam threw his napkin in his plate and stood over me. “You’re unbelievable, in more ways than one.”
Jeff followed Adam out the back door. On his way out, he looked at Beth and pressed his finger to his lips. I saw fear in my sister’s eyes and wondered what was going on.
Beth stared at her empty plate and asked, “Mama, may I spend the weekend with Cindy Reese? Her parents said it was okay.”
Mama nodded. “Of course, dear. But remember not to say anything about what happened here this morning.”
I couldn’t read the look Beth gave me as she walked by. I had always been different, but I had never felt as sad or alone as I did at that moment.
***
After everyone left for school on Monday morning, Mama called through a crack in the bedroom door. “Annette? Your appointment with Dr. Joe is at nine o’clock.”
“Okay.” I said, as I dragged myself out of the warm bed.
I felt worn-out, even after lying around all weekend. I showered and dressed, this time, pain-free. Mama avoided my face and me all together as she drove to the Town Clinic. Doc Joe had always been a big part of my life. He sat directly behind us in the third pew on the left at church. When I was little, he’d smile and pull at my earlobes during Grandpa Zeke’s sermon.
“Mama, can Doc Joe tell me if I’m pregnant?”
Mama kept her eyes on the empty street that she knew by heart. “Don’t be silly, Annette. Of course, you’re not pregnant. You know that you have to be married first, before you have children.”
Mama’s naiveté surprised me. Obviously, she had never read Valley of the Dolls. I looked out the passenger window and wondered if she would ever believe me. It was a long four minute drive to Dr. Joe’s office. I thought about what I would say to him and hoped that he would believe me.
Dr. Joe greeted me with his soft smile, kind face, and a big hug. “And how’s my little Annette feeling today?”
I opened my mouth. Mama’s eyes sent warning signals my way, and she answered for me. “Annette isn’t feeling well. She’s having bad dreams.”
Doc Joe leaned forward in the wooden desk chair on wheels. “Oh? Are you having problems at school?”
I blurted the words out quickly so that I wouldn’t hesitate or stutter. “No, not exactly, I was raped Friday night by four—uh, no three, boys. Dr. Joe, can you examine me to see if I’m pregnant?”
Mama crossed her arms and pursed her lips. “You see!”
Dr. Joe placed a wrinkled hand on my knee. “Well now, I don’t usually perform examinations like that on young girls, especially not girls like you that I’ve known since you were a wee thing. Now, are you real sure that this incident happened? Maybe you just imagined it, or dreamed it, like your mama said. Things like that just don’t happen in Serenity.”
I felt my body shake, and the volcanic tears threatened to explode again. “Why doesn’t anybody believe me? Of course it happened, and it happened to me Friday night!”
Doc Joe turned to Mama. “The child is obviously upset. I’ll give you some Valium. It’ll help calm her nerves. Sometimes adolescence can be a stressful time for sensitive children like Annette. Watching too much television may be the culprit here, enticing an overactive imagination. I’m sure the sedative, less television, and time will take care of the problem.”
Mama perked up. “Well, she does watch a lot of television. Oh, thank you, Dr. Joe. I knew that you would know exactly what to do for her.”
Mama stared back as I squinted out of the corner of my eye. I felt the chill of her stare and the lack of compassion she felt for me.
***
The rest of the tenth grade was like a bad dream. It didn’t take long for me to recognize the fat,
blonde boy who smelled like grease, and the tall, dark, skinny boy who hurt me so badly. I ran into Greg often during lunch period. He looked right through me and guided his girlfriend far from my reach. I remembered what Jeff said about Greg being pre-engaged or spoken for. Looking at his conceited face created a wave of nausea in my throat.
Mama placed a pill in my hand each morning before school until the bottle was empty. I don’t know if the Valium helped or not, but I hated the way it made me feel. It wiped out my ability to communicate and concentrate. Sometimes I slept through geometry and French; other times I daydreamed through English and biology. My teachers never bothered me or failed me, probably because of Daddy. My report cards held a D average throughout the tenth grade. I continued to fantasize about running away. One day drifted into another, and I felt trapped.
Not long after I was attacked, Beth told Mama that she was dating Greg’s older brother, Earl Junior. She met Earl Junior at his parents’ store, where he stocked shelves. Mama said that the Sneeds were beneath us and that Beth could do better. But Jeff stood by Beth and persuaded my parents to accept my sister’s fate. When I heard the news about Beth and Earl Junior, I understood the look Jeff and Beth shared the morning after my attack. Jeff couldn’t come to my defense that day because he was hiding Beth’s relationship with his best friend. My parents accepted Earl Junior into the family, and as Beth and Jeff grew closer, I felt more detached from them than ever.
Chapter 4Working Girl
My stomach growls, and I wonder if the Bluebird Café is still around. Crossing the old railroad track, I see an “Open” sign hanging in the window of the clapboard building painted the color of a Robin’s egg. A wave of grease hits me in the face when I walk in.
A weathered woman looks at me cautiously. Her face is haggard, and her hair is the color of cheap, orange dye. “Can I hep yee?”
I look at the familiar chalkboard menu behind her and think, Why not? It’s only once.
“I’ll have a dough burger and a cup of coffee.”
“You from ’round here?”
I take the cup from her hand. “Yeah, a long time ago.”
I take a table near the window and avoid looking at the dead flies on the windowsill. The woman sets a white plate with a solid blue trim around the edge in front of me. The plastic yellow squirt bottle sticks to my hand as I squeeze strands of mustard on the meat, flour, and onion concoction slapped between two pieces of white bread. A wave of déjà vu hits me when I bite into the sandwich. I’m keenly aware of the woman trying to look busy behind the counter. If she only knew how close I came to living her life.
The Bluebird Café 1971
I slipped out the side door and past the teacher monitoring the hall during third lunch period. Since the kids from the colored school in Prince came to our school, Daddy and the teachers spent most of their time breaking up fights. What I was up to was the last thing on their minds. Skipping fifth period study hall and sixth period PE was no big deal since I had made an appearance in the classes that counted.
I ran across the school yard, kneeling behind a parked car or tree here and there. When I reached the railroad track, I was too far away to be recognized. Two blocks away at the Bluebird Café, I was home free. Inside the café, I fished two dollars out of my purse.
“Hey, how ya doin’?”
I yanked my head around to see the tall, redheaded boy, who magically appeared behind the counter.
“Oh, hey, I’m okay, I guess. How about a dough burger and a Dr. Pepper?”
“Comin’ right up.”
The boy walked away. Did he kinda smile at me? Or was it my imagination? The boy popped the top off the drink bottle and set it in front of me. I looked around the empty café after he disappeared through the metal door leading to the kitchen. The Price Is Right played on a tiny black and white TV in the corner. Sipping the Dr. Pepper, I decided that this place was a lot better than that smelly old cafeteria.
The boy came back in. “It’ll be just a minute.”
He leaned his arm comfortably on the counter.
“You’re Annette, right?”
My heart skipped a beat at the sound of my name. “Uh-huh. Do you go to Serenity High?”
“Nah, I did, but I quit after Christmas. Ain’t the same there no more with the fights and all.”
A bell rang in the kitchen. He ran back through the metal door and came out with my burger on a white plate with a solid blue trim around the edge.
“Thanks.”
I picked up the mustard bottle and squirted some on the burger. “How did you know my name?”
He looked past me, out the front window. “I’ve seen you around. I’m Andy.”
I nodded in the middle of a bite, and then said, “Nice to meet you. Do you like working here?”
“Yeah, it’s cool. My Aunt Rosie owns the place. The work’s not too hard or anything.”
“I wish I had a job. I hate school.”
Andy laughed. “But you’re the principal’s kid!”
I took a swig from the bottle and put it back on the counter. “Exactly!”
Andy snorted a half-laugh, and then his face fell as he looked down at the countertop. “Look, I know you because I saw you on homecoming night.”
The thick burger stuck in my throat. I grabbed the bottle to wash it down.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I saw you at the equipment shed.”
My body stiffened, and I whispered, “You were there?”
He lit a cigarette and rolled the tip in a tiny tin ashtray. “Yeah. I don’t hang around those guys anymore. I mean, I didn’t know what they were up to. I thought we were goin’ in there to smoke a joint. It wasn’t until Luther – you know – that I figured it out.”
I felt tears welling in my eyes. “Which one was Luther?”
“Luther’s the big guy. The other one is Gip. I don’t know the other guy’s name.”
Andy took a drag from the cigarette. “Damn them. Ain’t none of them worth a flyin’ crap.”
I pulled a paper napkin from the silver dispenser and wiped my eyes. “Greg. Greg was the first one. I knew him but not the other two. You know, nobody believes me, not even my family.”
Andy finished his cigarette and opened a Mountain Dew. “That’s too bad. Well I know. And if it helps any, I’m real sorry they did that to you.”
My face softened. Talking to Andy made me feel like I had a friend. “Thanks, you’re nice. Maybe I’ll come here for lunch every day.”
“Yeah, sounds good.” Andy showed a mouth full of crooked teeth when he grinned. His easy manner and his imperfect teeth made me feel better about the zits on my face.
After that day, the Bluebird became my hangout and my escape from school. I tried smoking cigarettes for something to do but didn’t like the taste. Andy said that smoking would soothe my nerves, but just being at the Bluebird was enough for me. I liked watching the customers come and go while sipping on Dr. Peppers and talking to Andy. I dreaded the end of the school year and losing my getaway.
Andy snapped me out of my daydream. “Hey, Annette! What’s eatin’ you? You ain’t said two words since you got here.”
I twirled the lip of the bottle around with my fingertips. “This is the last week of school. I was thinking about how I’m going to miss coming here.”
Andy leaned his long arms over the counter. “Whatta ya say I ask Aunt Rosie to give you a job here?”
I perked up and grinned. “For real?”
Andy shot me a look that said, Trust me. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”
He disappeared behind the metal door. I waited and wondered what they were saying about me. A couple of minutes later, Andy followed his aunt back through the kitchen door. Andy’s Aunt Rosie was a stout woman with flaming red hair piled twelve inches high on her head. Her hair was so tall that I wondered how she walked without toppling over. She wore a white uniform like Miss Ruby’s at the beauty shop.
“Aunt R
osie, this is my friend, Annette.”
Rosie held out her hand to me. My reflexes responded, even though I’d never shaken anyone’s hand before. “Hey, Hon. Call me Rosie.”
I blinked. “I’m Annette.”
Rosie folded her arms over her ample chest. “Have you ever worked anywhere, Annette?”
I shrugged. “No, ma’am, other than helping Mama in the kitchen.”
I recognized the kinship between Andy and Rosie when she smiled. “Well, that’s a good start, I reckon. The main thing is someone who wants to work. If you want to work, we’ll get along fine. If you don’t, then it won’t work out, you see.”
I hopped off the stool. “Oh, yes ma’am! I really want a job. I’ll work real hard for you.”
Rosie laughed. “Well, we hustle around here when we need to and rest when we don’t.”
She turned back toward the kitchen and pointed a finger at me. “You can start two weeks from Saturday if your mama and daddy say it’s all right. I don’t need none of them child labor revenuers knocking at my door. If your mama and daddy say it’s all right, then we’ll see how it works out.”
When she was out of sight, Andy and I got so tickled that we nearly exploded. He muffled his snicker with a dish towel. I stuck my head in the crook of my arm until I regained my composure.
“We did it, Sister! You’re in.”
“I really appreciate this, Andy. You’re a good friend. But how does she get her hair to stay up like that?”
Andy shrugged. “Beats me. I’ve wondered if a nest of birds lives up in there.”
We laughed again.
***
The horn sounded off on Earl Junior’s Chevy truck. “Oooga, Oooga.”
Jeff and Beth scraped their chairs across the kitchen floor. Jeff gathered his fishing gear. Beth snatched the picnic basket and ran to keep up with him, calling out, “We’re leaving, Mama!”
Mama rushed into the kitchen.