He wanted to lie to her, to spare her the pain, but he slowly nodded. “I told my superiors about her possible location… two days before you showed up in that exact location looking for her.”
“Devil be damned,” she bit out and began pacing across the cramped room, tunnelling her fingers through her onyx hair before fisting it hard. “I knew the bastard’s offer was too suspicious… redemption.” She barked out a mirthless laugh. “Like that son of a bitch does redemption. He should have killed me for failing him, not offered a chance to redeem myself. God-fucking-dammit. I should have listened to my instincts. He set me up. That bastard.”
Her eyes blackened and her pupils glowed gold and stretched into thin vertical slits. Her horns flared forwards and a snarl escaped her red lips, erupting from between her fangs.
He was angry too, but losing his temper wasn’t going to solve anything.
His anger mingled with disbelief and manifested itself in a strange sort of numbness that left him cold as he sat staring at Asteria, disconnected from the world.
“Look… I told you this because I want to be left alone. I have a family I love… one who raised me and means the world to me… and I want you all to just leave us alone,” Julianna said, her soft voice cutting through the ringing in his ears. He shifted his gaze to her, stared blankly at her, struggling to make himself feel something as she announced his mission was going to end in failure. “I’m out of here. I want no part of this. I just want to be left alone… please… for all of our sakes.”
For all of their sakes.
He felt nothing as he took that in, banded it around in his head, went over the implications of what she was asking. She wanted to remain a half-breed, torn between realms but belonging to neither.
He had chosen to become an angel. Asteria had chosen to become a demon.
Julianna was choosing to become neither.
He had chosen to become an angel.
He lowered his gaze to the stone floor, stared at it as that rang in his mind and he tried to remember what had come before his life as one of the Echelon.
His eyes slowly widened.
Dear God, was that how the Echelon were created?
They were the elite of the angels and able to easily sense demons. Was it because of their partly demonic blood that they were able to do such a thing?
Was he hunting his own kind?
Julianna said something else and he tried to focus on her, but found he couldn’t as his whole world slowly crumbled around him. He felt her leave, felt his chance to end his mission slip through his grasp, but he couldn’t muster the desire to stop her or fulfil it. Not anymore.
He had been sent on this mission for two purposes. One to recruit her and condemn her to the same future he had lived for the past few centuries, and secondly to sire a half-breed of his own.
He looked at Asteria, saw her sitting on her knees on the stone floor, eyes glazed as she stared at it.
If he discovered she bore his offspring, would he do the same as Julianna’s father had? Would he run with her, hoping to protect their half-breed child?
Would it be worth it?
Julianna’s mother had been executed. He wasn’t sure what had happened to her father, but what if his fate had been the same?
Rey tried again to remember the life that had come before he had been an angel. Why had he chosen the Echelon?
He stared at Asteria. What had led her to choosing to become a demon?
He could see that questions plagued her as strongly as they plagued him, that she needed answers and had her own doubts.
The discovery of what he had once been and what Heaven had done with him had turned his world on its head, completely blown it apart until he wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
Anything except one thing anyway.
The attraction he felt towards Asteria was real.
It was easier to understand his feelings when he knew they had both begun the same—half demon and half angel. They had that in common. Only they had chosen different paths.
In the midst of his life going to Hell and a time when everything felt so uncertain, he was glad that she had chosen to become a demon.
Because meeting her was without a doubt the best thing that had happened in his life.
CHAPTER 11
Asteria wandered the fae town, still reeling from everything she had discovered through Julianna, her feet carrying her wherever they pleased. She wasn’t surprised when they eventually carried her up the steps carved into the stone wall of the cavern and along the winding tunnel, to the cool dark of the night. She breathed deep of it, drawing the cold air down into her lungs, using it to purge some of the heaviness from her heart.
She also wasn’t surprised when she sensed Rey nearby. Her gaze sought him and her breath lodged in her throat when she found him sitting on the grass, his hands splayed behind him to support him, his eyes on the stars and his noble profile to her. Moonlight bathed his skin, turning it pale, casting soft shadows in the hollows of his sculpted cheeks.
It seemed she wasn’t the only one who wanted to find some peace and solace tonight, or the only one who couldn’t bring themselves to wear the vestments of their breed.
His wings were away, his clothing of mortal fashion—tight black t-shirt, black jeans and heavy-soled leather boots.
His broad shoulders shifted in a sigh as she watched him from the cover of the trees near the town entrance, drawing her to him.
Making her feel she wasn’t the only one lost and adrift, unsure of her place in the world or what to do next.
All she knew was that she didn’t want to be alone right now, and Rey was the only person in the world who knew what she was going through.
She crossed the neatly trimmed grass to him and sat beside him without a word, stared up at the stars as she hugged her knees to her chest. He didn’t lash out at her, didn’t push her away, and she was grateful for that.
Grateful for his company.
She charted patterns in the stars, feeling their peace flowing over her, curling around her and Rey as they sat together, so close she could feel his heat against her side.
Her heavy heart ached in her chest.
Where was the powerful and formidable demoness now?
She felt as if the revelation that she had once been like Julianna, and that the Devil had used her like a pawn, had stripped her of all her strength and she would never regain it. She would always feel this way. Torn. Lost.
Asteria leaned to her left and settled her head on Rey’s right shoulder. She tensed when he moved, expecting him to shove her away, and warmth swept through her when he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and held her, a sigh escaping him.
“I can’t get over that I had a life before this one… a life I know nothing about,” she whispered and picked out the constellations that she knew. Had she known them when she had been a half-breed too, before she had chosen to become a fully-fledged demon?
Rey sighed again and brushed his fingers up and down her arm. “I cannot either. I keep trying to remember it.”
“Me too,” she murmured and leaned more heavily against him, sought his warmth and the comfort of his touch, and the solid feel of him against her. He was real, strong, a pillar she took no shame in leaning on as she struggled to make sense of everything. She closed her eyes, drew down a deep breath, and then tilted her head back and looked up at him. “Rey?”
His eyebrows dipped and those stunning peridot eyes dropped to her, his head turning towards her, so the moonlight threw the right side into shadow. Gold flecks blazed in his green irises, glowing on the shadowed side.
Her eyes darted between his, and though she knew he wouldn’t have the answer, she said, “What do we do now?”
He smiled softly, brought his left hand up and brushed the coloured stripe in her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear in a way that felt almost tender and affectionate.
“I do not know. I keep asking myself the same question.”
His deep voice rumbled around her, warming her bones and soothing her heart.
She was a foolish demon.
Because she was falling in love with an angel.
“I spent close to five centuries serving the Echelon… but now I do not know where I stand… I feel as if I don’t know anything.”
She knew that feeling well, but his five centuries paled in comparison to the length of time she had served. “Try spending twelve hundred years as a demon, faithfully serving the bastard who was going to cast you out into the world like a worm to get an angel to take the bait.”
His eyebrows dropped low again, narrowing his eyes. “You are not a worm… nor bait.”
She was bait, and he was just being kind. Stupid angel.
“I hate him anyway,” she muttered and leaned her head back against his shoulder.
Rey surprised her by pressing his lips to her hair and breathing her in, and then whispering, “I hate it too.”
He was silent for a long time, so long she grew sleepy, the warmth of him against her and the comforting feel of his arm around her washing away her hurt and slowly lifting the weight off her heart.
“You are really over twelve hundred years old?”
She thought she had dreamed that question until she pulled back and found him watching her, a curious edge to his eyes.
She nodded. “Yep. One thousand two hundred years. Which makes you a toy-boy.”
He frowned at that. “I am still almost five centuries old.”
Asteria smiled, her heart feeling lighter as she teased him. “It’s sweet the way you say ‘almost’ five centuries… it’s like being ‘almost’ twelve inches down there… not quite the truth, and a very awful thing to lie about.”
His frown hardened, and she knew he was doing it on purpose, intentionally giving her openings to tease him, so her mood would lighten and she would forget all the hurt and confusion in her heart.
“Although… I think you wouldn’t be lying if you said you were almost twelve inches.”
A blush stained his cheeks and he went to look away from her, but she quickly caught his left cheek in her palm and held him fast. He was still for a moment and then his mouth was on hers, stealing her breath in a kiss so deep her head spun.
Her back hit the grass, his chest landing across hers, and he moaned as she hooked her right leg over his hips and tugged him closer to her. She caught up with him and kissed him back, savouring the way his tongue tangled with hers, fought her for dominance that she refused to give him this time.
He groaned when she pushed his left shoulder and flipped him onto his back, landing awkwardly on top of him. His hands leaped to her waist as she straddled him, his mouth fusing with hers as he brought her down hard and ground against her, already hard in his jeans.
As hungry for her as she was for him.
This was real. She told it to herself on repeat, a mantra to make her believe that this attraction and desire they shared wasn’t born of a spell or the meddling of their masters.
This glorious male beneath her was her fated mate.
She pushed herself up on him, her palms pressing against his rock-hard chest, and looked down at him. He strained to pull her back down to him, his eyes locked on her lips, bright gold in the darkness.
This breathtaking male belonged to her.
He had been made for only her.
She felt that in every inch of her as she looked down at him, and she felt he was aware of it too as he stopped trying to pull her to him and sank back against the grass, his eyes drinking her in, softening in a way she found she liked.
No male had ever looked at her like that before.
Fuck, it made her feel she had been missing something her entire life.
She had been missing him.
She leaned over and kissed him slowly, setting the pace for what lay ahead. They had done rough and wild. She needed something deeper from him this time. She needed something gentler. A connection with him.
Her sensible side she did her best to never listen to warned it wasn’t going to end well for her but she didn’t care in this moment. She just needed him. If he broke her heart, she would rip his out of his chest.
He rolled with her, ending up wedged between her thighs, and his right hand dropped to stroke her backside and the underside of her thigh. He groaned into her mouth as he fingered her stockings, tracing the lines of the net, and kissed her harder, a frantic edge to it as his arousal mounted.
Asteria helped him by grabbing the hem of his t-shirt and pulling it up his back. His lips broke away from hers only long enough for her to tug it off over his head and she tossed it aside as she kissed him again. Her hands roamed the contours of his back, delighting in the dips and peaks of his powerful muscles, but it didn’t quite satisfy her. She needed more.
She needed to feel his skin against hers this time.
She wriggled her arms between them, ignored his low growl as she pushed him off her in the process, and fingered the zip that ran down the length of the front of her black corset. When she began lowering it, the sound of the teeth pulling apart loud in the night, Rey stopped kissing her and pushed himself up on his palms, a delicious sight as his muscles tensed to support his weight.
The gold in his eyes grew brighter as she slowly unzipped her corset and they glowed as the two sides fell apart, exposing her breasts to the air.
He was still above her, eyes fixed on her breasts as her nipples puckered, and then he dropped to his elbows and claimed her left one in his lips. She cried out as he suckled it and his hand came down over her mouth, silencing her as he worked to drive her mad with need. His hot hard body pressed into hers, each swirl of his tongue around her nipple bliss, the sort of ecstasy that had her skirting the edge of release.
He leaned harder on his right elbow and she trembled as the fingers of his left hand skimmed down her side and traced the waist of her skirt. She couldn’t stop herself from raising her pelvis to meet that teasing touch, aching to have him strip her bare and claim her.
She needed to feel him inside her again, stretching and completing her.
He found the clip that kept her skirt closed, flicked it open and slid the material along the runner, until it came free and fell away from her hip. He set his palm on her stomach and slowly slid it to her left hip, brushing the other side of her skirt away, exposing her to his hungry gaze as he lifted his head and looked down at her.
Disappointment flickered in his eyes.
Because she was wearing panties?
He made fast work of that obstruction, ripping them from her, and his glowing gaze devoured her, setting her body aflame. She stilled as his eyes tracked her tattoo, studying him as he studied her.
He lowered his head and kissed the curve of red ink that arced over her waist and followed the design down, tongue lightly caressing and flicking over each swirl, driving her mad until she was restless beneath him, aching for him to spread her thighs and kiss her where she really needed him.
His hot breath warmed her skin in the cool of the night and she trembled when he reached her right thigh and slowed, carefully following the curves of her tattoo. She could sense his curiosity, his fascination as he charted the path it took across her skin, and pushed up on her elbows to watch him.
“Aren’t angels allowed ink?” she said, her voice loud in the darkness, and regretted it when he lifted his head and there was hurt in his striking eyes, pain that she had caused with her thoughtless question.
Not only had she reminded him about his situation by mentioning angels, bringing them up when he was still struggling to come to terms with everything, but she had mentioned tattoos too, forgetting something.
He sat back and eyed his right wrist as he stroked his thumb over the inside of it, his deep voice sombre as he spoke. “I have ink of a fashion.”
He raised his wrist and showed the stylised cross to her, and her heart broke for him when she saw the depth of the hurt in his eyes. She wanted to take it all
away again, to apologise for what she had done and make him forget. She couldn’t bear seeing him hurt.
Asteria smiled and tried to make light of it, hoping that would lift the mood again. “My ink doesn’t kill though. It’s just art.”
Rey looked down at the mark and she looked there too. She felt no fear as she studied the cross. It was black, calm, but she knew that it wouldn’t take much for it to activate and hurt her, or worse kill her. Thinking about what it could do to her made something hit home, something that made her glad she was already flat on her back as she might have fallen on her backside had the revelation hit her when she was standing.
She trusted Rey implicitly.
She had never trusted anyone, not really, but here she was trusting an Echelon angel not to accidentally, or intentionally, kill her with his power.
“I would never hurt you, Asteria,” he whispered, so solemn and serious that she dragged her eyes away from the mark and met his, saw in them that he was telling her the truth. It touched her and she wanted to say something, but he beat her to it, speaking before she could find her voice. “Never. If it triggered… I would move away.”
Devil damn him for being so sweet and thoughtful, for caring about her.
Another smile twitched on her lips. “I know.”
His gaze return to the mark, his voice a low murmur in the night. “It is different around you anyway. It should be active… you are a demon.”
Asteria held her hands out to him, the need to comfort him growing too strong to deny as she realised his Echelon mark was the source of a lot of confusion and pain for him.
His glowing eyes flicked to her. “I have a theory it is because you are part angel.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. She didn’t want to think about that. She had been a half-breed. There was angelic blood buried deep in her veins. It was too painful to think about and right now she didn’t want to face it. She didn’t want to think at all.
She wanted to feel.
She wanted to lose herself in Rey.
As if he had sensed that desire in her, he leaned over her and his lips brushed her hip, tearing a gasp from her that he drowned with his palm over her mouth as he moved upwards, coming to cover her.
Awakened by a Demoness Page 11