by April Wilson
He reaches down and touches my face, grinning. “We have about five seconds until we have company. Five, four, three, two....”
Right on cue, the elevator pings in the foyer to announce the arrival of our dinner, and I throw my head back against the sofa cushions and growl with frustration.
Shane pats my hip. “Hold that thought, sweetheart. I’ll be right back.”
Chapter 16
“This smells delicious,” I say, as we spread out our feast on the coffee table in front of us. My stomach growls.
We sit on the sofa and eat our dinner by firelight. There’s a roaring fire in the wood-burning fireplace, and Shane changes the music to a playlist of old-time blues – Muddy Waters, and one of my new favorites, The Black Keys. I share bites of my food with him, and he shares his with me. It feels good, just being here with him like this, just the two of us. He seems so much more relaxed now than he has in weeks. I hope he’s finally starting to get over the trauma of what Andrew did to me.
And that leads me to wonder what’s happening with Andrew. The last I heard, he’s being held in a psychiatric hospital undergoing evaluation. A psychiatrist will make a recommendation to the judge as to whether Andrew should stand trial for assault and battery or go into an in-patient treatment center. Honestly, I don’t care either way as long as I don’t have to see him again.
Toward the end of our meal, I realize Shane’s pretty quiet, and I sneak a glance at him. He’s watching me intently as I bite into an eggroll.
I chew and swallow, all of a sudden feeling rather self-conscious. “What?”
He smiles, shaking his head. “Nothing. I just like looking at you.”
I lay down my half-eaten eggroll, my appetite gone. Immediately butterflies take flight inside me, careening around like tiny drunken fairies. How does he do this to me with just a look? He makes me fairly dizzy with wanting him. “I like looking at you, too,” I tell him. As if that’s not the understatement of the year.
His gaze darkens. “I want you. Right here, in front of the fire.”
My eyes widen. We’re out in the open here. Anyone walking into the apartment would practically trip over us with very little warning. I glance back toward the foyer door. “What if someone comes in?”
Shane shrugs. “I’ll disable the elevator and put a Do not disturb sign on the foyer door. Besides, Cooper won’t be home anytime soon.”
I blush at the idea of having sex out here in the open. It would be so easy for someone to walk in on us... and why does that thought make me shiver?
Shane picks up the remote control to the sound system and suddenly the plaintive strains of Adele fill the air once more. He stands up and holds his hand out to me, his long fingers beckoning. “Come dance with me.”
“That’s cheating!” He knows I love Adele, and he knows that when I’m in his arms, I turn to putty.
“It’s not cheating.” He pulls me up off the sofa. “It’s a sound tactical move.”
I’m barefoot as Shane leads me to the wide open center of the great room and pulls me close. The warm glow from the fireplace, coupled with the darkening night sky outside the apartment windows, creates the illusion that we’re hidden away from the rest of the world. He slips his arms around my waist and pulls me flush against his much taller body. I wrap my arms around his waist and stroke his lower back, which elicits a deep groan out of him. We’re barely moving, just swaying to the melody.
My knees go weak when his hand slips into my hair at the back of my head. He kneads my neck muscles with strong fingers. When he kisses me, I moan into his mouth.
“All right, that’s it,” he says, sweeping me up into his arms and carrying me back to the sofa. He sets me on my feet and takes my face in his hands and leans down to kiss me, his lips molding themselves to mine.
My whole world narrows to this man. I feel giddy all of a sudden. Just yesterday morning, everything was all doom and gloom, and now less than a day later, I’m exactly where I want to be.
I shiver when his hands steal around to my back and he begins to pull down my zipper. My dress slips off my shoulders and down my arms, baring me to the evening air and Shane’s hot gaze. A moment later, it slides to the floor and pools at my feet.
His fingers are warm as they deftly unfasten my bra, and it too falls to the floor, leaving me standing there practically naked, while he’s still fully dressed in his shirt and slacks. When he drops to his knees in front of me and slips his hands around to the back of my thighs, my head starts swimming and I fear my knees will give way.
He presses his open mouth to my belly and begins kissing his way down, stopping briefly to tease my belly button. His hot breath sets me on fire, and I grab his shoulders to steady myself. I’m pretty sure I’m at risk of melting into a puddle on the floor.
He continues to kiss his way down my torso, pausing when he reaches my panties. He presses his face against my mound, breathing my scent in through the silk fabric. Oh, my God. He’s such a raw, sexual animal, so blatantly male and unabashed about his needs.
He takes hold of the waistband of my panties and tugs them down to my ankles. At his silent coaxing, I step free of my panties and he tosses them aside. Then his hands are on my buttocks, holding me in place as he presses his face to me, breathing me in. When his tongue slips between the folds of my sex, I sway on unsteady feet. He catches me and holds me securely.
“Shane.” My voice isn’t much more than a whimper.
I’m shaking now, and I don’t know how much longer I can stand on my own two feet. When I feel the warm heat of his tongue circling my clitoris, I cry out and reach down to cup his head. I’m torn between pulling him closer and pushing him away. I’m standing stark naked in the living room, terrified that someone will walk in on us. But at the same time, I relish the way he pushes me past my comfort zone, ratcheting up my desire in the process.
He nudges my legs farther apart, and I’m pushed to the limit when one of his long fingers dips into my wetness, then slips back between my butt cheeks to tease me. I flinch when his finger presses against my tightly clenched hole.
I pull back from him, dislodging his inquisitive finger. “Shane, no.” But the truth is, even though I’m afraid of this, I want it.
He glances up at me, and his solemn, heated expression steals my breath. “You know I would never hurt you.”
“I know.” I shake my head, afraid to take that step. “But I can’t.”
I’ve read plenty about this. Anal play seems to be more and more popular in romance books these days, but reading about it and actually doing it are two very different things. I just can’t bring myself to go there.
I breathe a sigh of relief when his hand withdraws from my backside. He stands and unbuttons his shirt. Then he unbuckles his belt and opens his slacks, shoving his boxers down just far enough that his erection springs free. He’s fully erect, his long ruddy cock defying gravity as it lifts. He drops down onto the sofa and pulls me onto his lap, so that I’m straddling him face to face. It feels shocking to me, that he’s still mostly dressed while I’m completely naked, my thighs spread wide open on his lap.
He looks at me, and when he speaks, his voice is low, rough. “I fantasize about having you like this in my office, while I’m sitting at my desk. I want you there, with your gorgeous body open to me, just like this.”
His words make my belly quiver, and I find myself squeezing my sex tightly. I feel empty there, and I realize how badly I need him to fill me.
He must be reading my mind, because he fists his erection with one hand and pulls me close with the other. “Put me inside you.”
Eager to feel him filling me, and I wrap my fingers around him and direct him to my opening. I’m already wet and aching, so when I lower myself on him, the broad head of his cock pushes right through my lush opening. He’s a big man, and I revel in the feel of him sinking inside me, invading my body. The sudden feeling of fullness as he stretches me makes me gasp.
He tightens
I nod, not trusting myself to speak. Our gazes are locked together in silent communication as I work myself down on him. His cock is soon coated in my body’s slick juices, making it easier for me to take him in. He’s patient as I squirm and fidget on him until I’m fully seated. His hands cradle my butt, and he lifts me up and down on his erection.
I love being on top like this, because it doesn’t trigger my anxiety, but even better, I can control the angle, and I know just how to put him exactly where I want him. I adjust my angle until the head of his cock is dragging along that tender spot inside me that feels so damn good. The pleasure is climbing, and I’m soon panting in anticipation. He pulls my face to his, and our mouths meet, open and hungry. I close my eyes and allow myself to let go, riding him shamelessly, rocking my hips on him, stoking the fire deep inside me.
Both of us are breathing hard now, our gasping breaths intermingling. I’m so close I can feel my orgasm swelling like a wave that’s just about to crest. Without warning, his slick finger is between my butt cheeks again, seeking entrance into my back hole.
“Relax and push out. I promise you, there’s nothing to be afraid of.”
I’m so close to coming, I force myself to focus on the aching pleasure deep inside me and try to ignore what he’s doing back there. I trust him. He knows far more about this than I do, so I let him have his way while I lose myself in my impending orgasm.
As I relax my muscles, his finger slips inside me back there, and I gasp at the strange feeling of fullness. It doesn’t hurt, but it makes me nervous because I don’t know what he’s going to do. I try not to think about what he’s doing, and soon he’s slowly thrusting his finger in and out of me. It feels oddly... good. Really good in fact, and that surprises me. And then the most intense orgasm I’ve ever felt blindsides me, sweeping through me like a wildfire. The pleasure is so exquisite, I throw my head back and cry out, arching my body in his arms. He draws one of my nipples into his hot mouth and gently sucks on it as his cock erupts inside me, filling me with spurt after spurt of his hot come. He growls against my breasts as he bucks his hips into me over and over.
* * *
I am slain.
We’re lying in Shane’s big bed, although I have absolutely no recollection of how we got here. I must have passed out after experiencing the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had, and he must have carried me to bed. All I know is that we’re in his bed, both of us naked, our limbs intertwined. My muscles have turned to mush, and I don’t have the energy to move.
At least he’s taken his clothes off. I smile at my memory of him sitting on the sofa, looking sexy as hell still dressed with me sprawled naked on his lap like a submissive sex slave. If I’m not mistaken, I think he fulfilled a bit of a fantasy tonight. He did mention that he’d been fantasizing about us having sex in his office. I’ll have to keep that little tidbit of information tucked away for future reference.
I’m lying on my belly, my head turned toward him, and he’s rubbing my back with long, gentle strokes. It feels heavenly. My eyelids are so heavy I can barely keep them open. He’s watching me closely with a hint of a smile on his face.
“Feeling good?” he murmurs, reaching up to tuck my hair behind my ear.
I nod, too tired to manage more than mm-hmm.
“I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting,” he says in a low, quiet voice, his expression serious. “I realize now that I wasn’t just punishing myself. I was punishing you, too.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I know it’s been a difficult time for you.”
He shakes his head. “Beth, you have no idea. When I saw you in the hospital, I think something died in me. If Andrew had killed you – God, I don’t think I would have survived it. All I could think was that it was my fault. I underestimated him. I thought he was just an overindulged, spoiled brat. He’s just a kid, for Christ’s sake! It never occurred to me he had the capacity for so much violence.”
“I don’t think it occurred to anyone, Shane. You can’t blame yourself. You have to stop.”
I swear he looks downright ashamed. I can’t bear to see that defeated look on his face, so I lift my face toward his and kiss him lightly, just a feather-soft meeting of our lips. He makes a sound deep in his throat, and when I meet his gaze, I’m shocked by the level of pain I see. Unshed tears sparkle in his eyes like glitter.
“It’s okay, Shane.”
He draws me close, wrapping his arms around me. I lay my head against his chest and listen to the rapid beating of his heart. His chest hair tickles my nose as I nuzzle him.
He chuckles, but it’s a harsh, self-deprecating sound. “You should have seen Cooper yesterday morning, after you and Lia ran off. My God, he ripped me a new one. I’ve never seen him so angry.”
Now it’s my turn to chuckle. I can just picture Cooper doing that.
“I was in the control room ripping into the guys on duty for allowing themselves to be distracted when he let me have it.”
“I wondered why no one stopped us at the gates.”
“Cooper sent them off to the kitchen and opened the gates for you. When I realized what had happened, I chewed out the guys on duty for getting suckered. But then Cooper laid into me for being an asshole. God, he was pissed. I’ve seen him mad before, but never like this, and never directed at me. For a moment, I thought he was going to get physical.”
Cooper’s always so calm and steady, it’s hard for me to imagine him losing his cool like that. “Why was he so mad?”
“Cooper has apparently appointed himself your protector. I think he sees himself as some kind of father figure to you. He said, ‘You realize she just ran away from her own home because she’s so fucking miserable. You’ve made her fucking miserable.’ That’s when I came to my senses.”
I reach out and touch his face gently. “I was feeling pretty lonely. I mean, you were there every day, but you weren’t really there with me, if you know what I mean.”
He nods. “I had to keep my distance, otherwise I would have caved. It killed me to hold myself back from you.”
“Are we okay now?”
He nods, then kisses me. “When you ran off, I lost it. I can’t lose you, Beth. You have no idea – ”
Abruptly, he stops talking, and I can see the muscles in his throat working as he swallows hard. I close my eyes to give him a moment and press my lips to his chest, right over his thundering heart.
“I need you,” he says, his voice rough. “I’m not talking about sex – although I need you for that, too. But I need you in my life. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before. You give me purpose. You make me imagine a future I never thought I’d have.”
I pull him close for another kiss and close my eyes, losing myself in him. “I need you, too.”
“Good, because I can’t do this without you.”
Chapter 17
It’s just the two of this morning in the penthouse, so we make a simple breakfast of toast, jam, and coffee and carry it out onto the balcony to eat. The sky’s clear this morning, so we have an unimpeded view of the lake as far as the eye can see.
I spoon some jam onto my toast. “Where’s Cooper?”
Shane sips his coffee, then sets his cup down. “I don’t think he came home last night.”
“Where did he go? Back to the house?”
“I doubt it. If I had to guess, I’d say he had a sleepover of his own.”
My eyes widen. “Cooper has a girlfriend? Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
Shane looks at me, his expression guarded.
“What?”
“Not a girlfriend, exactly,” he says, oddly hesitant.
“A friend with benefits?”
“Sort of. Although he’s definitely not with a girl. I mean a woman.”
As his words sink in, my eyes widen even more. “Cooper’s gay?”
Shane picks up his coffee and takes a sip, watching me intently. “Yes.”
; I sit there stunned into silence. It’s not that I have anything against gays, because I don’t. It’s just that... well, I had no idea. I can tell Shane’s waiting for me to say something. “Oh. I see.”
He peers at me over the rim of his steaming coffee mug. “Are you okay with that?”
“Sure. It’s just... I didn’t see that coming. I had no idea.”
Shane shrugs. “Cooper’s a very private person. He doesn’t advertise his sexual orientation.”
“Does everyone else know? I mean, Lia? Jake? The rest of your family?”
“Yes, they all know.”
“So, I’m the only one who didn’t know.”
Shane sighs. “He was afraid of what you might think. Don’t forget, Cooper was in the military for thirty years. He’s used to keeping his private life private. Please don’t take it personally. Honestly, I think he’ll be relieved to find out you know. He really cares a lot about you, sweetheart. It matters to him what you think.”
I feel tears forming in my eyes as Shane’s words sink in. My heart aches for Cooper. And I hate that he was afraid to tell me who he is. I care about him too. I more than care about him. “Cooper’s like family to me now. He’s like... if I had a father, I’d want it to be Cooper.”
Shane nods. “Good choice.”
Shane goes back to our room to get dressed while I use the computer in his office to retrieve my resume from my Internet e-mail account. I make a few updates to my resume – like listing the penthouse as my new address – and submit it on the bookstore’s website.
The only remaining hurdles to my new employment are facing Vanessa once more later this morning and peeing in a cup. I can’t believe she’s going to make me do that, but I think she enjoys making this hard for me.
I head to the bedroom to change into something a little more appropriate for work and find Shane getting ready. He’s dressing for the office.
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