by Brina Brady
“They still love you, and I’m sure they miss you.”
“Thanks for saying that.”
“Your grandmother loved you more than you’ll ever know. She’s the one who arranged for Uncle Reuben and Aunt Carla to adopt you, so we’d still have you around us.”
“I never knew that. They never did tell me I was adopted. I figured I looked like them. I mean, it never dawned on me to question it.”
“That’s because they got you when you were only a week old.”
“Where’s my birth mother?” Emilio asked.
“Well, she used to live next door, but they moved away. She was a pretty girl and very smart too. I guess she’s married by now. I never did look her up.”
“What’s her name?”
“Caitlin Callaghan. She’s Irish. So maybe that’s why you have red highlights in your hair.”
“Did she have red hair?”
“She did and a face full of freckles. She was cute, but I’m just not attracted to women.”
“Do you have a picture of her?” Emilio’s interest piqued.
“I do.” Rafe pulled out his wallet and removed the photo. He paused for a moment to look at her picture.
Emilio stroked the photo and stared at it for a quiet moment. “I had no idea she’d look like this. Can I keep it?”
“I want you to have it. Maybe someday you might meet her if we ever find out where she is.”
“I never saw a picture of me that small.”
“I took it at the hospital. You were so tiny.” Rafe smiled.
“I still don’t know how to feel about all this.”
“That’s okay. It’s a shock. I have more pictures of you at home. I took them every time I saw you and put them all into a photo album.”
“I can’t wait to see them.”
“So do you approve of your mother?”
Emilio nodded. “I can see some of her in me, can you?”
“Yes, I do.”
When they returned to the camp, everyone was sitting in a circle, eating hamburgers and fries. Rafe sat beside Alek while Emilio settled beside Kaden.
“You okay?” Kaden asked.
“Can we go somewhere away from everyone?” Emilio asked.
“Sure we can.”
They took a walk through the woods and sat down on the ground.
“Talk to me,” Kaden said.
“You know why I’m upset, right?”
“Yes. I know. How do you feel about it?”
“Mixed up for sure. All this time, Rafe was my favorite cousin. He told me all about why he couldn’t tell me, but he could have told me sooner, and I’d have promised not to tell. I can’t believe he didn’t trust me with that information. Something so important to me.”
“I understand. He never told me either, and I thought we told each other everything.”
“Why is this important to you? Sometimes, you and Rafe act like ex-lovers.”
“That’s another story for another time. Just know that we’re close, more like brothers than lovers.”
“I get you’re not lovers, but were you ever together?” Emilio asked.
“Keep this between us and only us. Do you understand?”
“Of course.”
“When we were in the Marines, we fooled around a lot, but it didn’t work out because we were both tops. So you can imagine what it was like to fight to top each time. We both agreed to be friends.”
“Does anyone else here know?”
“No one knows, although I think James and Valerik suspect we used to be lovers.”
“So you and my father were fucking, and now you’re fucking me?” Emilio didn’t need to hear this on top of Rafe’s news, but he was the one who’d asked. Was this even allowed? Now, what is Kaden going to do about it? Just another reason to send him back to Rafe.
“Listen to me, I want you, and I don’t care who your father is or who your cousins are. When you danced on the stool, it was like a mating call to my dick. This week was one of the best weeks in my life.” Kaden pulled him into his arms and kissed him with passion and love.
“How do you feel about Rafe?”
“I told you we’re like brothers, not lovers. As far as him being your father, both of us didn’t know. It doesn’t matter to me and it shouldn’t matter to you either. Our relationship doesn’t include Rafe. What we do is for us only. I know it’s a shock to learn Rafe’s your biological father, but you had another father who raised you while Rafe was growing up. Remember he was a teen when you were born.”
“But you love him, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do love him, but not in the way you think. He’s like the brother I never had. I’m an only child.”
With smiles on their faces, Kaden and Emilio returned to the group. Kaden helped James finish up, while Emilio sat at the picnic table with the other guys.
Kaden had just admitted he loved Rafe, but he’d never told Emilio he loved him. Emilio felt he wasn’t worthy of love. He was just Kaden’s toy. Emilio stared at the ground and fought back his tears. He was lonely and desperate to find his place in life. The day’s unexpected information literally destroyed any hope he had of successfully finding happiness and safety. Now more than ever, Emilio was convinced Rafe had, in fact, forced Kaden to take him on. Staying with Kaden wouldn’t guarantee love because he loved Rafe. If only Emilio could have explained to Kaden how he really felt, but he couldn’t. Running away wasn’t an option. It would just aggravate the situation. Besides, it would only be a matter of time before Rafe or Kaden would find him. Still, leaving Kaden might be the best thing to do, but Emilio would think on it first.
“Hey, you seem quiet. Is everything okay?” Alek asked.
“I have a headache. I’m going to go to bed after dinner.”
“Hope it goes away.”
“Thanks.”
“Are you sure everything is okay?”
“I found out something about Rafe and Kaden.”
“What?”
“You promise you won’t tell anyone including Rafe?”
“I promise. I would never get you in trouble with either one,” Alek said.
“I don’t know if Rafe told you that he’s my father not my cousin. He told me today. I’m trying to deal with it. I asked Kaden how close he was with Rafe. They’re always in private conversations,” Emilio said.
“That’s pretty shocking information. Rafe hasn’t told me anything about it. So what did you find out about Rafe and Kaden?” Alek asked.
“When they were in the Marines, they fucked each other,” Emilio said.
“Really?” Alek’s mouth dropped open, and then he took a deep breath in utter astonishment.
“Kaden told me it didn’t work out because they’re both tops. He said it got old fighting who was going to top. So now they’re like brothers, so he said.”
“But you don’t believe they’re like brothers?” Alek asked.
“No, I believe it. He told me he loves Rafe like a brother. He loves him. Kaden has never said he loved me. I know it’s just a week, but…I just didn’t want to hear that,” Emilio said.
“But you asked him,” Alek said.
“I know.”
“Rafe told me Kaden is a silent co-owner of the Gay Protection Society. He said they were best friends, but he never mentioned they were together like that.”
“Well, they were. Kaden never told me he was a co-owner,” Emilio said.
“Don’t tell him I told you.”
“I’m not saying anything. I keep thinking that Rafe told Kaden to take me on and that Kaden’s just using me for sex and pretending to like me.”
“They were in the Marines a long time ago. I’m not going to worry about it and you shouldn’t either. I see how Kaden looks at you especially at the party. He watched you all night like you were a prized package and you are.”
Emilio laughed. “So everything is good with you and Rafe?”
Alek nodded with a big smile.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Kaden
More than happy to help with the cooking, Kaden finished grilling the chicken for dinner, freeing up James to mash the potatoes. Valerik was stirring his famous mixed fruit drink while Liam and Dante were setting the table.
“How is everything going with Emilio?” James asked.
“I taught him how to ride a dirt bike and shoot a gun this week among other things to please me.”
“I know what you’re doing with him.” As always, James’s face was unreadable, like he had left his emotions in a closet.
“Well, aren’t you just the bright and shiny star above this evening,” Kaden teased.
“Emilio needs to learn self-worth and self-respect before he can please anyone in the real sense of the word. Why can’t he be more like Rafe?” James asked.
“He’s his own person, and I like him as he is. I wouldn’t want a Rafe clone. One of him is enough around here. I know Emilio lacks self-worth, but slowly he’ll learn. He’s only eighteen,” Kaden said.
Valerik handed Kaden his fruity concoction. “You look like you need it.”
“Thanks. How’s the little ginger boy doing?” Kaden asked.
“I bought Liam a cap to hide his hair. He’s a good kid and wants to please,” Valerik said, winking at James.
“Liam is the same age as Emilio,” Kaden pointed out.
“Liam doesn’t look very experienced,” James said.
“He’s not,” Valerik said. “I like them like that.”
Kaden laughed at their conversation, which almost bordered porn chat. They tended to protect guys in their twenties. It was rare for them to have an eighteen-year-old in the group. Dante was twenty-four, and James seemed more than happy with him. However, Valerik was fifty, and he was with someone more than half his age. James was no spring chicken either at forty.
“Emilio has more experience than any other eighteen-year-old I’ve ever met,” James said.
“He is a great entertainer and holds a gold card in pleasing men. I’m definitely benefiting from his experience,” Kaden bragged.
Rafe joined them in conversation. “Are you guys talking about Emilio?”
“Kaden was bragging about Emilio’s gold card,” James said.
“Gold card?” By the look on Rafe’s face, it was obvious he disapproved of them discussing Emilio in that context.
“We were comparing Liam with Emilio since they were the same age,” Valerik said.
“Kaden, I take it that you’re happy with Emilio?” Rafe asked.
“Oh yes, he’s perfect for me. The best of the best.”
“How is Dante doing?” Rafe asked James.
“Dante has a lot of rough edges I’m going to smooth out. I don’t know how he made it through without being slaughtered by his old gang.”
“I don’t either. He needs a second chance, and I’m glad he has you.”
Valerik set the large pitcher on the picnic table and returned to the grilling.
“Did you find Mateo and Anouska?” Valerik asked.
“Not yet, but I’m sure they’ll show up again,” Rafe replied.
The three men sat down at the picnic table, where the boys were already sitting. Emilio sat between Alek and Dante, but he didn’t say much. Kaden wondered if Emilio had been upset about his talk with Rafe. Emilio wasn’t eating either, but Kaden didn’t want to bring it to his attention in front of everyone.
“So, I hear you taught Emilio how to use a gun?” Rafe asked.
“He’s pretty good at it,” Kaden said.
“I didn’t think he would do well at that,” Rafe said.
After dinner, Emilio said he had a headache and wanted to go to bed. This was the first time he didn’t want to talk when they returned to the van. Kaden gave Emilio two aspirins and then sat in the front of the van to read.
***
Bright sunlight filtered into the van. Kaden didn’t like Emilio to pester him in the morning, but he typically woke up before Emilio. He peered through the window. Trees knitted as far as he could see with no visible signs of life. Outside, all remained still and silent; a no-man’s-land. Kaden covered his eyes to block the brightness, but when he turned over to face Emilio, the other side of the bed was empty.
“Emilio!”
As soon as he rolled out of bed, he put on his jeans and checked the bathroom. No Emilio. Where the hell is he? Emilio knew he had to ask permission to leave the van alone. Kaden paced back and forth, planning his next move. He should have listened to his gut earlier when he felt like something was wrong. It was his job to make sure Emilio remained stable and safe. He imagined Emilio wanted to mull over his new relationship with Rafe. Maybe he shouldn’t have told him Rafe and he had been lovers. But Emilio had asked about their relationship, and he couldn’t lie to him. Obviously, it was too much for him to deal with in such a short period. Why didn’t I just change the subject?
Within seconds, Kaden left the van and ran to the eating area. Dante and Liam sat at the picnic table while James was frying bacon and Valerik was scrambling eggs.
“James!” Kaden shouted.
“What’s wrong?” James wiped his hands on his apron.
“Emilio is missing. Did you see him?” Kaden asked.
“No. I’ve been out here since six.” James’s brow furrowed with concern, and his eyes darted around as if he were searching for Emilio.
“I haven’t seen him since last night,” Valerik added.
James pulled the frying pan of bacon off the grill, set the bacon onto a plate, and covered it with a dish. Valerik did the same to the scrambled eggs. Then they rushed over to Dante and Liam.
“Dante, do you know where Emilio is?” Kaden asked.
“No, Sir. I’ve been with James since last night,” Dante said.
“Did something happen to Emilio?” Liam asked.
“Yesterday Rafe told Emilio he was his biological father. He was dealing with that,” Kaden said.
“He is?” Liam asked.
“He sure is,” Kaden said.
“Check the brook. We’ll check the perimeters and everywhere else,” James said. “You ought to check with Rafe first.”
Kaden’s stomach twisted into knots as he called Rafe.
“What’s up?” Rafe asked.
“Is Emilio with you?” he asked, fearful of the answer.
“No, why would he be?” Rafe asked.
“He’s missing. I have no idea when or why.” Kaden had hoped Emilio had gone to Rafe.
“I’ll help you look for him. We have to find him. Maybe he was upset with our conversation.”
“You think?” Kaden shouted without realizing he overreacted. Apparently, he was still pissed off at Rafe for withholding pertinent information about his actual relationship with Emilio and blamed him for Emilio’s unexplained disappearance.
“Where are you?”
“Picnic area,” Kaden said.
“We’ll be right over.”
Kaden was pacing around like a caged lion when Rafe and Alek met him.
“I think he might be upset over what I told him. It didn’t help that on the same damn day, you told him we used to be a thing,” Rafe said.
“How do you know what I told him?” Kaden figured Emilio and Alek had been comparing notes.
“Does it matter who told me?” Rafe asked.
“Emilio wanted to know the truth, and I don’t lie,” Kaden said, trying to remove any anger in his tone.
“Didn’t you think that was too much for Emilio on the same day I told him I was his father? That could have waited,” Rafe shouted.
James and Valerik walked over to them.
“Don’t you two think we should look for him instead of arguing whose fault it is?” James asked.
“Right,” Kaden said. “I’ll check the brook first. You guys can look other places.”
The bright sun was strong this morning, causing him to squint. Kaden pulled his sunglasses from the top of his head and put them on. H
e followed the path to the brook. They had gone there many times. Emilio might just be thinking on things. Sure enough, Kaden spotted Emilio’s jacket against a tree, but Emilio was nowhere in sight.
“Emilio! Where are you?” Kaden shouted.
No answer. He crossed the brook by stepping on stones and followed another path. Why would Emilio have left his jacket behind? He’d promised never to run away, and once again, he’d broken his promise without discussing it. Kaden pulled out his phone and sent a group message.
Kaden: I found his jacket near the brook. I crossed over to the other side to see if he’s there. He continued hiking along the path as he read and sent texts.
Rafe: I shouldn’t have said anything to him. Now, I wish I hadn’t.
Kaden: Emilio needed to know the truth; only sooner would have been better.
Rafe: I should have told him about us before you bonded with him. I don’t know anymore. I always thought truth was the right thing.
Kaden: Some truths are time-sensitive.
Rafe: Fuck you.
Kaden: You wish.
When Kaden saw a figure under a tree in the distance, he picked up speed. The path blurred below him as a surge of adrenaline empowered him. The balanced thump of his boot boomed in his ears. Sweat soaked his forehead, causing his long hair to cling to it, and his throat ached for air, more air. The delicious rush of wind cooled down his face. His firm muscles stretched, pushed harder. It was Emilio!
“Emilio.” Kaden squatted beside him.
“You found me.” Emilio wrapped his arms around him. “I got lost.”
“Where the hell were you going?” Kaden asked with sternness in his voice.
Emilio didn’t seem upset from losing his way from the brook. The story didn’t make sense. The stepping stone crossing wasn’t far from where he was sitting. Then again, Emilio could be lying, but the words slipped out of his mouth without any effort. This was the first time he doubted Emilio’s word, and that was not a good sign of things to come. Trust was essential in their relationship, and he didn’t believe his explanation. Kaden knew better than to trust the deceptive appearance of truth. Plain and simple, Emilio was lying to him. How dare he!
“I needed to think, so I went to the brook. Then out of nowhere, I heard a cat crying, so I searched for him. When he stopped meowing, I couldn’t find him. But I kept looking, and then I couldn’t figure how to get back. So I sat here waiting for someone to find me. I’m sorry if my actions made you worry,” Emilio said, avoiding eye contact.