"Choreography has always lived inside of you since you could walk," her father pointed out from his chair. Emma was holding her breath thanks to her poor choice in words but it seemed to go over her father's head. Thank God. "The best thing you can do is bring it out. Sometimes it's scared to breathe life into your creation because you're not sure if it's going to be as perfect as you imagined it or because you're worried how people will perceive you once it's out there, but you have to have faith in your audience and you have to have faith in yourself. You can do wonderful, extraordinary things, Em. I don't think you realize how incredible you are."
Emma felt her eyes tear up and she immediately blinked them away. Damn these stupid hormones. They were going to give her away.
"How was work?" she forced herself to ask, doing her best to ensure her voice didn't come out shaky.
"Work," he said. "You know how it is. I go to trial next week. I just hope it doesn't run late, what with the Gulls finally making the playoffs." He shrugged and flipped on CNN. "We'll see, though." He glanced over his shoulder. "Shouldn't you be at rehearsal right now?"
"Shit!" she exclaimed, glancing at her watch. He was right. She was supposed to be at her studio a half an hour ago. She ran up the stairs and to her room and quickly threw on yoga pants and a tank top, tossed her hair into a messy ponytail, and slipped into an old pair of Nikes. Then, she bounded down the stairs, called a goodbye over to her father - who was laughing incessantly - and headed to her car. It was a beat up Mercedes-Benz that she loved more than the majority of her possessions.
Her studio - Once Upon A Dance - was located on the border of Newport Beach and Costa Mesa, in a nice neighborhood with a small shopping center where parents could pick up groceries while their children did an hour of dance.
The studio was something that didn't turn over a profit just yet - Emma had it open from five to eight Monday through Friday's unless there was a Gulls' game. Then, she modified the hours so she could attend the home games while still getting her students in appropriately. It was a small suite with mirrors and hardwood floor. When her father first leased the building for Emma, Emma put a lot of her money into fixing the place up and creating the studio she had always dreamed of dancing in. She usually trained one age group for one hour two to three times a week. Everyone from toddlers to teenagers had classes offered at her studio and her classes filled up quickly. She was surprised she broke even the majority of the months in terms of cost - there were even a few months she had generated a profit.
Since she was the only instructor on staff, she paid herself a small salary but she didn't have to worry about hiring anyone else - at least, not yet. She had been hoping to sell the studio when she left for New York but now that she wouldn't be dancing on Broadway like she planned for her whole life, she wasn't sure what she intended to do with the studio now.
She managed to get there just before her first hour - toddlers - began and dove into three hours of light dance and more training. It helped get her mind off of her current worries and she found herself smiling and laughing and enjoying being in the moment.
Once the last student left, she proceeded to start shutting down the studio. At that moment, she was struck with an overwhelming urge to vomit - an urge she didn't resist. She ran to the restroom and heaved up the small dinner she had had between sessions. Once she finished and flushed the toilet, she leaned back against the door and took a moment to catch her breath.
So the symptoms begin...
Chapter 6
The next day, Emma went to Barnes & Noble and decided to browse the pregnancy books. Her eyes lingered on 'What to Expect' and she picked it up, deciding to flip through this so-called pregnancy bible. It was thick, with relatively small font. From what she could tell, each chapter was broken up by each month of pregnancy. There were expectations by week and common questions at the end that might crop up which would potentially affect her.
She pushed her brows up, continuing to flip through it. It seemed filled with information, information she desperately wanted. However, having this book would definitely be a big obvious indication that she was pregnant.
"Emma?"
Emma jumped and whirled around. She found herself looking into a pair of crystal blue eyes.
Zachary Ryan.
"Hey," she said, snapping the book shut and trying to hide it behind her back. His eyes followed her gesture and he tilted his head to the side. "What, what are you doing here?"
He cocked his lips into the arrogant smirk he was known for and tilted his head to the side. The man was like a Greek god, his face chiseled, his blue eyes sharp and crisp. He was tall as well, towering over Emma's five foot three frame and was built with solid muscle. It was no wonder why women fell at his feet but regardless, he seemed completely smitten with Harper.
"Despite my profession, I do like to read," he told her, his tone only slightly sarcastic.
Emma's lips quirked up. "Of course," she replied, and then cleared her throat.
"You okay?" he asked her. "Harper told me... don't be mad at her, we tell each other everything. Plus, in her defense, I did find you in this section of the bookstore..." He pushed his brows up and crossed his arms over his chest.
"You're not going to tell Kyle, are you?" Emma asked, her eyes wide with worry. She knew Zach and Kyle and Alec were best friends. They had their guys night every other week where they got together at someone's place, shot pool, and smoked cigars. She wasn't sure where guys drew the line in regards to what was private and what they kept to themselves. Being pregnant was a big deal and she knew Zach probably wanted to tell his friend because Kyle deserved to know but that didn't necessarily mean he would.
"Are you kidding?" Zach asked, pushing his brows together. "Harper would murder me." He shook his head. "No, I'm not going to say anything. And she specifically told me not to tell you what to do, but if I could at least give some advice?"
Emma hid a smirk, nodding her head.
"Kyle has a lot going on," Zach pointed out. He pressed his lips together, trying to think of the right words to say. Emma appreciated the thought he was putting into this. "I'm sure you've noticed that his game is off, for whatever reason. And it has been for a while. Between you and me, Cherney's thinking about dropping him to the third line next game since the second line is doing so well." He placed his hands on his hips, his shoulders pushed up. "I don't know what's going on between the two of you except this, obviously, but since Kyle doesn't know about it, I highly doubt his play is a result of that."
Emma nodded, not quite sure how else to respond to that statement. It was true; Kyle had no idea about the pregnancy, and unless he remembered that they had had unprotected sex and was concerned about the consequences of that, there was nothing between them that had changed. They were the same.
"You don't think," Emma said slowly. She cut herself off and shook her head, looking away. But then, she forced herself to finish the thought. "You don't think he did something."
Zach took a step back and Emma could tell his guard went up. She winced.
"Forget I asked," she told him. "Just forget it. I know there's this whole bros before hos mentality that is especially prevalent in the hockey world."
Zach shook his head. "It has nothing to do with that, actually," he said. "If anyone said anything about Harper, I would beat the shit out of them, no problem. No hesitation. I've only known Kyle half a year. You know him even better than I do. Do you think Kyle is that type of person?"
Emma felt her cheeks turn pink. She shook her head. "I don't think he'd be unfaithful," she told him. "And if he had, I wouldn't put you in an awkward position and make you feel compelled to share it with me." She pressed her lips together. "We have talked about his play, though. He definitely isn't in denial about the past few weeks."
"No one is harder on Kyle than Kyle himself," he agreed. "And I know that he needs support more than anything."
Emma nodded. "He also needs honesty," she murmured more to hers
elf than to him. "I tried to bullshit him once and he bit my head off."
Zach chuckled. "Yeah, I can see that happening," he agreed.
Emma paused, giving Zach a quizzical look. "Do you mind if I ask you a question?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.
"Shoot."
"Harper said you and her have actually talked about marriage and kids even though you've only been dating five or six months," Emma pointed out.
"Yeah," Zach said slowly.
Emma wasn't quite sure how to finish that up. She believed the question spoke for itself. However, when he continued to stare at her with a blank expression on in face, she refrained from rolling her eyes and said, "Why?"
He seemed confused by the question due to the way he furrowed his brow and cocked his head to the side. "Why not?" he asked.
She let out a huff of a breath. "How do you even know she's the one?" Emma asked. "Listen, Harper is one of my best friends. I'm crazy about her. She's amazing and you're lucky to have her. But how did you know she was the one to start talking about marriage and babies and all that stuff that makes a relationship serious?"
Zach pressed his lips together, teasing the tip of his chin with his fingers, deep in thought. "Honestly?" he asked, locking eyes with her once again. "I can't explain it. It's just a feeling you get when you've met the right one. Look, I know that sounds cheesy and scripted but it's the truth. Harper's the kind of girl you meet once in a blue moon, probably even less. She's the kind of girl who can be one of the guys but also dress up and be beautiful and feminine and everything I could possibly desire. She's my dream girl, really. And I'm lucky enough to realize this and know that she is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. At the very least we can talk about our future together and what that means to each other and how we affect each other and how we support each other. I don't want to lose her and I know she doesn't want to lose me. Relationships aren't going to be perfect. Harper is not perfect. But somehow, she is perfect for me. All of those little things that previous guys might have found annoying, I find endearing. And yeah, maybe it's because this relationship is still so new and it's in the honeymoon phase. I can understand that. But regardless of all of that, I know without a doubt. That she's the one. I don't care who I am. I'm never going to find anyone better than her." He wrinkled his brow. "Does that help you at all?"
Emma hesitated before nodding once. "Does Harper feel the same way about you?" she asked, her voice tentative. This wasn't any of her business but she felt good talking to Zach and getting a male perspective on everything.
"I'm confident that she does," he told her, "but that's not the point of being in love. You don't care how the other one feels because their feelings don't dictate yours.
You love because you don't have a choice, because you can't do anything but love. It's not waiting around for Kyle to love you first. Does that make sense?"
Emma nodded her head.
"Let me ask you a question, Em," he said, "and obviously this will be between you and me. I get the feeling that both you and Kyle are at a comfortable point in your relationship where you're serious, you're monogamous, and you genuinely care about each other but you have yet to make serious plans for the future. I know you're going to Regina over the off-season to meet his parents - which is great -but don't you think it's odd it's taken nearly two years before you go back to his home town to meet his family?"
"He hasn't really met my dad, either, as my boyfriend, I mean," Emma said slowly before taking her bottom lip and teasing it between her teeth. "He hasn't really asked. And neither have I."
"That's my point!" Zach exclaimed, causing some of the onlookers to glance at him. He didn't seem to notice. He also seemed to have forgotten he was in a bookstore. "You're not supposed to ask, Em. Come on. You care about someone, you do something for them. You shouldn't be worried how they're going to interpret it. If you do, then you're with the wrong person. Or you're overthinking things. You need to relax and enjoy your relationship. Don't be afraid to be romantic. Kyle isn't big on public displays of affection but he's an extremely loyal person and if you do some kind of grand gesture that shows this, shows how much you care and how loyal you are to him, he'll feel more comfortable letting his guard down. And once he does that, he's yours."
"Are you saying he's not mine now?" Emma asked, tilting her head to the side.
Zach shook his head. "It's not that," he told her. "You guys are at a safe place in your relationship. Do you want it to go deeper? Or are you okay with mediocrity?"
"Are you saying my relationship is mediocre?" Emma asked, not bothering to hide the defensiveness from her tone.
Zach glanced away. "I feel as though I'm saying the wrong things," he said slowly. "Listen, you asked me how I knew Harper was the one, right? I guess it's because I don't ever want to be safe with her. I feel safe with her but I don't ever want us to be safe when we could take a risk and be so much more. You have to decide if Kyle is worth the risk." He pushed up his brows. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"
Emma locked eyes with Zach and nodded. "I think I do," she told him honestly. "Well, I'll let you get back to shopping. I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me about this stuff." She cocked her lips into a small smile. "Thanks. And I'm happy for you and Harper."
"No problem," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "And let me give you some advice: trust Kyle because he is worth the risk. And if you don't think so or you're not sure, then you don't deserve him."
Chapter 7
Emma found herself that night, looking at herself in the full-length mirror. She was in a simple summer dress, red in color. The sleeves were t-shirt, the length about an inch above her knee. It was tight and dipped low in front, revealing nice cleavage thanks to a push-up bra. Her breasts tingled, however, but Emma was aware that this was a common symptom during pregnancy and she was actually looking forward to her boobs getting bigger.
She was just past six weeks along, with her doctor's appointment next week. If all went well, she would hear her baby's heart beat for the first time. Her heart skipped a beat just thinking about it.
Truth be told, Emma was surprised how quickly she had accepted having this child. Now, instead of dreading things, she was looking forward to them. Doctor's appointments, seeing her baby on an ultrasound for the first time.
She gnawed her bottom lip, realizing that she got to experience this excitement but Kyle did not. Because she hadn't told him yet. And she wasn't sure if and when she planned to tell him. She knew she would eventually, she just didn't know when. And how.
Tonight, they were going to a romantic dinner on the beach. There was a small beachside bistro on one side of PCH that overlooked the water. Kyle had an in because Dimitri Petrov was primary owner of the restaurant and always got his team tables should they request it. The bistro had food and drinks named after him and his family but now that he was going through a divorce, Emma wondered if he was going to keep the Terra, a chocolate alcoholic drink named after his now ex-wife.
Not that it was any of Emma's business. She had met Dimitri Petrov a handful of times before and after her relationship with Kyle. Her father attended every single charity event the Gulls hosted including a golfing tournament, a beach day, an auction, and a fashion show - which was scheduled a couple of weeks from now. He always dragged her along because he really didn't have anyone else to take and because he felt that they could bond over this experience together.
Dimitri Petrov was the nicest guy on the ice. He was deliriously handsome for his age - aging gracefully like wine - and had an adorable accent that as hard to decipher at times. Even now, Emma had no idea how the hell anyone could leave Dimitri, especially since it was known that cheating - at least on his part - wasn't what broke them up.
Kyle had invited her out tonight because he seemed to think they hadn't been spending a lot of time together since their Vegas trip due to the fact that they were both so busy with their individual careers. It wa
s his way of reconnecting and deepening their bond.
She could appreciate that but that didn't mean she wasn't concerned about what was going on with him. She knew he wasn't the type of person to cheat. Yes, he enjoyed the single life before her but every girl he was with knew that going into the fling they had. Once he and Emma got together, after months of being friends, he immediately dropped his previous lifestyle cold-turkey. Even though girls clamored for his attention, he never strayed. He never even seemed tempted.
Now, though...
Was his poor play a result of guilt? Even if he hadn't cheated, had he done something else that made him feel guilty? That affected his play this much?
She wanted to ask him but didn't think she should. If he was going to tell her, he would. No question. Right?
It wasn't as though she was going out of her way to tell him about being pregnant, even though he had a right to know. Even though she should.
And that caused a block in her dancing. She couldn't finish the damn piece she had been working on for the past two weeks. She thought it was because of her pregnancy, because she had a lot going on and wasn't quite sure how to handle everything. Now, though... maybe it wasn't as clear-cut as she thought. Maybe she needed to be around Kyle. Maybe they needed to trust each other more with what was going on in their lives.
"Thanks for coming out," Kyle said after the hostess left them with menus and a promise that the waiter would be there soon. "I know how busy you are with your recital coming up."
"Actually," Emma remarked, opening the menu, her eyes immediately going over to the specials. "I can't finish this piece to save my life. I'm completely blocked. My students are hounding me for an ending and I can't seem to give one to them."
"What kind of ending do they want?" Kyle asked. He leaned casually back against his chair, not even cracking open the menu. He had been here enough times to know what he wanted.
Positives & Penalties: A Slapshot Novel (Slapshot Series Book 4) Page 4