Jake noticed that every other picture had Ryan, her dead fiancé, in it. There were shots of them together with friends in a club, everyone holding their drink up in a toast to the unknown photographer, tongues hanging out in that gesture the young seemed to think was cool. There was one with Maddy and Ryan in cold weather gear, holding each other tightly in front of a ski lift with the winter sunshine framing them from the side. She looked so happy.
He found another one with Ryan, tanned and shirtless, standing with a beer in his hand next to Maddy’s father who also had a beer. They were in front of a sparkling pool with Maddy floating on a raft in the background waving at the camera. There were so many more. The two at the beach, at Disney World, driving with the top down, on a fishing boat, on a pier somewhere with the sun setting behind them, so happy.
These scenes only reminded Jake of his own loneliness and his longing for Beth. He had pictures just like these but couldn’t bear looking at them.
Jake realized there was something missing.
Where was the picture of Ryan holding the big fish he had caught the day he died? The one he had seen the day Maddy visited the lab during her mother’s sessions. He looked all around the room scanning the wall.
Maddy let his hand go and walked over to the wall opposite the door. She bent down looking at something on the floor. Jake walked over and knelt beside her. The fish picture lay on the floor between them, the glass shattered and scattered in sharp pieces around the frame. Jake thought it odd that it broke into so many small fragments, like it had been crushed. He went to reach for a piece of the glass, but Maddy grabbed his wrist.
“Don’t,” she said.
“Is this what you wanted to show me?”
She nodded.
“What happened?”
She stood looking around the room as if searching for something, but finding nothing, said, “At the end of my dream there was a loud thump that shook the whole room. The room that was in my dream. My room.” She looked around warily again and wandered over to the dresser. “When Ryan said your name, even though it was coming through the cell phone speaker, it was so loud it shook the room, too.” She looked up at him with haunted eyes. “In my dream, pictures rattled and fell off the wall and one shattered as if smashed, then fell off the wall. I woke up, about to scream, and the sounds seemed to follow me out of the dream.” She paused, walked back over to Jake and whispered, “This picture was lying on the floor and I swear I could hear the glass tinkling like it had just finished breaking.”
Jake knelt down again looking at the broken glass and the fragmented picture of Ryan distorted through the shards. He picked up a piece and she did not stop him this time. It seemed like ordinary glass.
“Could you have broken it in your sleep, like sleep walking or something?” he said, standing.
“No. I’m not imagining things, Jake.” She paced. “I was in my bed when I woke, how could I have broken it from in my bed?”
“Could you have thrown something over here in your nightmare?” he asked, looking around for something that might have broken the picture.
“No! You don’t believe me?”
“No—I mean yes—yes I believe you. I’m just playing devil’s advocate, I guess. Sorry, don’t be upset at me. I guess this scares me a little too—because I had my dream tonight. I had just woken up from it when you called.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
“I never really got the chance. I rushed over here and you brought me right here. I’m telling you now aren’t I?”
The edge in his voice visibly upset her and she turned away from him with fresh tears springing in the corners of her eyes.
“You’re right, Jake. I’m sorry. I never gave you the chance to tell me. I guess I was just frightened.”
He walked over and turned her toward him.
“Hey,” he said. “Maddy, look at me. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I guess we’re both a little freaked out, huh?”
She nodded her head, still unable to look at him.
“We’ll figure this out, I promise.”
She looked up at him, eyes red and wet, her face flushed. “Promise?”
“Promise,” and he crossed his heart, smiling.
She moved inside his arms, pressing against him, and he closed them around her. Even though she had been asleep, her hair smelled clean with a hint of some flowery shampoo. He could feel the heat from her body through the thin t-shirt he wore and he held her tighter to him marveling in how good she felt against his body.
She was wearing a thin one piece nightgown which felt slippery against her skin as he caressed her back trying to comfort her. She had been holding her arms curled up against herself as he held her, tense and upset, but as he stroked her back, she began to relax. She lowered her arms and then encircled his waist holding him, pressing harder against his body, melding hers into his, and he could feel her firm breasts pressing against his chest through the thin nightgown.
Their lower bodies came together naturally and the warmth of her against his groin assaulted his senses and he became aroused so quickly he barely had time to think about what was happening.
She picked her head up off of his chest and looked into his eyes. Her lips parted slightly, and her sweet breath played softly across his lips.
She was so close.
She stood slowly on tiptoes, sliding her body exquisitely against his as she rose up, and brushed her lips softly against his. All his anguish over Beth, his devotion and abstinence, melted away as he let go and pressed his mouth firmly against hers, feverishly and hungrily satisfying his urge. His desire rose so quickly, there was never a chance to quell it and she seemed to find as much urgency in her own response as his.
Her lips parted and his tongue found the softness of her mouth as their passion grew. He pulled her to him harder, thrusting against her as they both gasped in the pure electric shocks that coursed through their bodies.
His right hand slid up and cupped her breast through the thin material of her nightgown, his thumb playing against her hard nipple. She moaned against his lips and pulled away, breaking the kiss, and gasping for air. He pulled her back to him and as he thrust his tongue even deeper into her eager mouth, she slid her hand up under his t-shirt and caressed his chest with her warm hand.
She broke away again and stepped back.
Keeping her eyes locked on his, she slipped the nightgown off of her shoulders and it fell to the floor in a soft whisper of fabric. Her breasts were full and slightly upturned at the nipples, which stood hard and thrusting in the cool room. Her panties, pink with a small purple flower at the hip, could not conceal the reddish blond hair showing through the thin fabric. Her neck was flushed and her lips full and red from the eagerness of their kiss.
She took his hand in hers and pulled him to her, sliding his fingers under the elastic of her panties and against the heat between her legs. She shuddered and gasped. Her green eyes were blazing and he could see himself in them.
Sliding her hands up inside his t-shirt, she pulled it over his head. She kissed his mouth hard and then moved down to his neck and chest. Reaching down, she felt him through his pants and he thought he would explode.
He fumbled with his drawstring and she helped him, fumbling with it too and they giggled, breaking the tension a bit. He finally got it untied and she slowly, deliberately, pulled his pants down, keeping her eyes locked with his, a sexy little grin on her lips.
She let his pants fall the rest of the way to the floor, bringing her fingers slowly up his legs and then grabbing him firmly with both her hands. A moan escaped his lips.
He slipped her panties all the way off and they joined the pile of clothes at their feet. Pulling her toward him, he pressed his body hard against hers, feeling the glorious warmth of her nakedness from head to toe.
She pulled him backwards to the bed and they fell in a heap together, limbs entwined, mouths eagerly kissing and hands feverishly stroking. His mouth found her ere
ct nipple and she moaned loudly as he suckled it hard, nibbling a bit. She rolled on top of him, straddling his hips, caressing his thighs with her fingers and kissing his chest and stomach as her long hair draped over his body.
He gently pulled her face back to his and kissed her sweetly at first and then ever more urgently. She reached down and guided him into her, slowly sliding the length of him with her warmth. He was so close to losing it, he felt like a schoolboy. They slowly moved together, him thrusting ever deeper, the pace quickening as their desire built.
She raised up on her arms, head back and breasts thrust forward as she rocked rhythmically with him, her urgency rising. He couldn’t hold much longer and she seemed to sense his closeness and thrust that much harder.
She was gasping and making small noises of pleasure as he held her, driving harder and deeper into her, his climax building. As his first explosion rocked her body, she let out a small cry and her body shuddered, joining his in her own climax, pulsing up and down along him, her body collapsing to his as they released years of built up tension in a wonderful rush of desire.
He held her against him as she cried softly against his neck.
Shortly, he fell fast asleep, still locked together, their bodies cooling in the night air.
One thought kept repeating in Jake’s mind over and over, and it followed him into sleep. What have I done?
17
January 13, 2010 - 9:12 a.m.
Orange Park, Florida
When Maddy woke, Jake was not there.
At first she thought he had slipped out in the night and her disappointment was palpable. How could he leave, without even a word, after what happened last night? Their bond had been so intense. She had never felt anything like that with Ryan. She felt like crying again as the brief guilt she felt after they made love came back with an intensity she didn’t expect.
It was then she heard small noises coming from another part of the house. Kitchen noises. Her spirits immediately lifted and she got up, found her panties and nightgown, slipped them on, and padded softly down the hall in her bare feet. She found Jake searching through the cupboards for something and as he closed the door, she startled him. He laughed at his own jitters and she smiled coyly, coming around the counter, stepping to him and letting him enfold his arms around her, holding her against his warm body again.
She sighed.
* * *
“I thought you left,” she said.
“Leave?” he said, unwrapping himself from her and continuing his search for coffee and mugs. He could tell she was disappointed he was no longer holding her. “I was trying to find coffee. I was going to surprise you with breakfast.”
“I thought you might have been upset about last night and left before you had to face me.”
She watched him closely and he knew this was a test, yet he couldn’t look at her. His hesitation said it all and she looked crestfallen. He had already gotten a ‘D’ on the test.
“Maddy…” he began, searching for the right thing to say. “How are you feeling about—you know…?” He was making some foolish gesture with his hands and stopped. “I mean—are you ok with what happened last night?”
She simply said, “Yes.”
She was so direct, he had to smile.
Her face brightened a bit and he said, “I need to be honest with you Maddy. I’m a little confused right now. I haven’t been with anyone since Beth and…”
“Neither have I,” she interrupted.
“…and I’m not sure how to feel. There is definitely something between us, because last night was, uh…”
She smiled and nodded.
He smiled too. “I guess what I’m saying is…”
She walked over and pressed her finger to his lips.
“Sshh. Did you feel anything last night?” she whispered.
He nodded.
“So did I. Do you care about me?”
He nodded again.
“I care about you,” she said. “Do you regret anything about last night?”
He hesitated, and then nodded slowly.
“So do I,” she said. Her finger was still pressed to his lips and he furrowed his brow, confused.
“Jake, I think we both needed this,” she said, dropping her finger from his lips. “I have felt so empty and lost for so long, it was becoming unbearable. When I had my nightmare last week and heard your name, I knew we were meant for something. I didn’t want to admit it to myself at first, but now I know.”
He wasn’t as convinced as she and he remained silent.
“When we—after we were together last night,” she said. “I cried because I felt so guilty. I felt like I had betrayed Ryan somehow. That I had cheated on him. Even though he has been gone for almost two years, I still feel connected to him and wanted to remain faithful to his memory. I regret feeling that way, but I don’t regret what we did last night.”
She stepped closer to him and looked up into his eyes. “Jake, what we had last night was beautiful. We were connected. I felt it with you and I know you felt it with me. I love Ryan and always will, but I never had with him what we had last night. It was magical.”
Jake wanted to pull her to him and hold her until it stopped hurting, but that hurt, that guilt was what was stopping him. He knew she was right. What had happened last night was special, but he wasn’t sure if it was the result of two years worth of pent up energy or the magic she described.
She was waiting, looking up into his eyes. She was so vulnerable and so beautiful.
“Maddy, I have to be honest with you. I felt so guilty this morning, that I almost did bolt and run. You’re so beautiful and special that I felt I not only betrayed Beth, I betrayed you.” He reached up and held her face in his hands. “Maybe we should stop this before it goes any further and we both get hurt.” He felt like an ass as the words left his lips.
She pulled away from him, clearly hurt. “Fine,” she said, turning away.
She stopped and turned back and he saw a little fire in her eyes.
“You know Jake, I expected a little more from someone like you. If I had wanted a cheap line like that, I could have picked up any Joe Blow in a bar and brought him home. Is that all you can say, ‘We should stop before we get hurt?’ Well, I’m already hurt.”
“Maddy, you’re right, that was a dumb thing to say and it came out all wrong. What I know in my heart is that I don’t know if I can give you what you want. I don’t know if I’m capable of loving someone right now.”
“Who said anything about love? We’ve only known each other for a few days. But I feel something for you and it’s something stronger than just two lonely people needing sex. I just want to know you. Don’t you want to know me?”
“Yes. Of course,” he said, taking a step toward her. “I’m just confused right now. I’ve spent the last two years of my life trying to find a way back to Beth. I’ve done nothing but work on a way to talk to her. To see her again. The last thing she said to me as she died in my arms is a mystery and I need to know what she meant. And now, I’m getting messages from her in my dreams that raise more questions than answers. I loved her…” he stopped. “I love her so much. I can’t deny that and just throw it away and start over again. It’s not fair to you for me to lead you on. You asked me if I felt something for you. I do. You also asked if I care for you. I do. I just don’t know if I can go any farther than that right now.”
She no longer looked angry. She went to him and he took her in his arms and held her.
“Jake, I don’t know if I can go any farther than this right now either. I want this to be what it is. Nothing more. Can we do that?”
“Of course.” The tension was leaving him. “Besides, who else do I have to rescue at 3:30 in the morning?”
She hit him playfully in the butt. “Nobody, you lecherous old man.”
“Me? Lecherous? And old?”
“Yes—you. I needed your help,” she teased, “and you came over and took advantage of a
helpless, lonely girl in need.”
“Hey, who kissed who first?”
She lifted her head off of his chest and looked into his eyes. “I did.” And she lifted up on her toes and kissed him again.
“Is that against the rules?” she asked huskily.
“No,” he said and kissed her back. He broke the kiss and joked, “You’re killing me!”
“Horrible way to die isn’t it?”
“Look at me!” he said, wriggling his erection against her. “This is what happened last night.”
“I know,” she said. “I like it.”
“Me too,” he said kissing her again. He picked her up playfully and spun her around while she squealed and beat on his back. He set her back down and said, “You’re something.”
“Something what Dr. Jake?”
“Something special.”
“Are you getting all mushy on me? That might be against the rules.”
“What are the rules?”
She thought for a second and said, “We’re only allowed to have sex and be friends.”
“Do you know you’ve just described every college guy’s dream girl?”
She laughed. “Are you complaining?”
“I’m not in college,” he said dryly, “but I’ll take it.”
“Now?” she asked, mischievously.
“Now.”
He picked her up and carried her into her bedroom. He was surprised how eager he was even after the argument they just had about keeping it low profile. Afterwards, she lay atop him and he caressed her backside, enjoying the afterglow.
After a bit she said, “What did Beth say?”
Near Death (A Jake Townsend Science Fiction, Action and Adventure, Thriller Series Book 1) Page 8