"Get da fwowews!" Cobweb shouted. "Gossamew and I wiww fiwe awwows."
She nocked one arrow and shot. It hit a pursuing spiderling and knocked her off her dragonfly. Gossamer shot a second arrow and hit her target too.
"Sure, you girls get to fight, and I go picking flowers," Scruff said. With a moan, he tugged the dragonfly's reins, driving it down toward the meadow. Arrows flew around him. One sliced his thigh, but he ignored the pain and kept diving.
The meadow rushed up to meet him. Silkflowers filled it, the size of dinner plates. Their pollen filled the air, and a fit of sneezing claimed Scruff. He could barely see, and his dragonfly shook beneath him with every sneeze.
"Keep flying, boy!" Scruff shouted. The dragonfly righted itself to skim over the meadow. Scruff reached down, sneezing madly, and grabbed a flower in each hand. He stuffed them under the straps of his saddle. The pollen filled his nostrils, made his eyes water, and shook his body.
"Shoot down the big one!" the elder cried above. "Shoot him down!"
Arrows rained. They thudded into the ground around Scruff. One glanced off his helmet, and another tore a hole through his cloak.
"Damn it!"
He kneed his dragonfly, and they skimmed along the ground, racing between the flowers. Scruff reached out his arms, stirring pollen into clouds. The horrible yellow stuff rose all around him.
"We can't see him!" a spiderling called above.
"Fire your arrows! Cover the meadow!"
Arrows whistled everywhere. Scruff sneezed and sneezed. He couldn't see a thing. Blindly, he grabbed more flowers, as many as he could hold.
"Into the forest, boy!" he shouted at the dragonfly. "Go on, and stay between the trees!"
They zoomed out of the meadow, yellow with pollen. They raced between the trees. Branches slapped against them. Dragonfly riders chased behind, firing arrows that peppered the trees.
"Scwuff, you got da fwowews!" Cobweb crashed through the treetops on her dragonfly and flew beside him. "Now wet's g-g-get to da staiwcase."
"Where's Gossamer?" he shouted and sneezed.
"G-g-getting mowe dwagonfwies. Go! Fwy!"
They flew between the trees. Cobweb kept firing arrows behind her. One dragonfly rider took an arrow to the chest and crashed. Another dodged an arrow and slammed into a tree. Scruff kept flying and soon saw the Stairway to Heaven before him. He tugged the reins, and his dragonfly began zooming up the staircase. Cobweb flew beside him, firing arrows.
"Spwinkwe da bouwdews wit powwen!" Cobweb shouted.
"You're bossy in battle, do you know that?" he shouted back.
They reached the top of the staircase and flew above the boulders. Sneezing wildly, Scruff pulled flowers from his saddle and began shaking pollen over everything.
Arrows whistled. Spiderlings were flying up from below. One arrow slammed into Cobweb's dragonfly, and the great insect crashed against the stairs.
"Cobweb!" Scruff cried.
She lay on the stairs, her dragonfly atop her. Her face twisted with pain, but she managed shouting, "Heaw da bouwdews!"
Scruff kept shaking the flowers. The dragonfly riders were a moment away from reaching them. Pollen flew everywhere. He saw nothing but the yellow pollen, glowing moonlight, and the back of his eyelids with every sneeze.
Humming filled his ears.
He heard gasping, weeping, and prayers.
"We're healed!"
"The human saved us!"
Scruff rubbed his watery eyes. When he could see again, he found dozens of spiderlings surrounding him. They were thin and weary. They hugged one another and wept. Their skin was still grey as stone, but as he watched, the grey faded into purple.
"Kill them all!" cried the elder spiderling. She rode up the staircase on her dragonfly, hands glowing with moonlight. A dozen dragonflies appeared around her; spiderlings with bows and spears rode them.
It's a lost fight, Scruff knew. He could not kill them all. As he raised his mace, fifty more dragonflies came flying from the east. Scruff took a deep breath, prepared to die.
"Goodbye, Cobweb," he said. An arrow grazed his shoulder, and he gasped with pain. "I love you."
The fifty eastern dragonflies reached him. Through the haze of pain and pollen, Scruff saw that only one dragonfly bore a rider. It was Gossamer.
"No time for goodbyes!" Gossamer shouted. Her fifty dragonflies landed on the top steps. "Onto the dragonflies, everyone. Spiderlings, we are leaving!"
Scruff gasped. Flying up the stairs, the elder and her guards screamed.
"Get on a dragonfly, Cobweb!" he shouted. "I'll hold them back."
Despite his wounds, he swung his mace. He held the enemies back. As he fought, Cobweb crawled from under her dead dragonfly and mounted a live one. The dozens of healed boulders, their limbs still stiff, climbed onto the other dragonflies. Arrows flew, and two spiderlings fell dead.
"We're out of here!" Gossamer cried and dug her knees into her dragonfly. She turned and flew away, heading west. Scruff and Cobweb followed. Fifty dragonflies flew around them, wings buzzing.
Arrows flew in both directions. Dead spiderlings rained from the sky.
"Don't let them get away!" the elder cried, flying a hundred yards behind.
Scruff stared at her. Her eyes met his, deep and burning blue. He glared back and snarled.
"It's too late for you, darling," he said, though he knew she could not hear. "You're outnumbered now." He raised his voice. "Goodbye, Spidersilk Forest! It's been a lovely trip, but it's time to go home."
The fifty freed spiderlings all fired arrows from their dragonflies. The elder and her guards screamed. Arrows slammed against them, and their dragonflies fell.
"Goodbye, Spidewsiwk!" Cobweb cried. Tears sparkled in her eyes, and she laughed and cried. "Goodbye, my home. Goodbye fowevew."
Gossamer and Webdew flew at her sides, tears in their eyes. Scruff felt his own eyes moisten. I love you so much, Cobweb. I was so worried that I lost you. He smiled at her. Everything will be fine now, I promise you.
Fifty dragonflies flew over trees, across the river... and into the realms of humans.
Chapter Twenty
Lolhogs
Romy poked Neev's back with her pitchfork, goading him through the backdoor of Hell.
"Romy, there's no need to poke me." He twisted his wrists in his bonds.
She poked him again. "It has to look realistic," she said. "What if demons catch a living human walking in Hell? They'd kill you, Neev. So be a good dead sinner."
Past the doorway, they entered a small, craggy chamber. A single torch hung on the wall, crackling. Spiders scurried along the floor, and bats hung on the walls. Lava dripped from a hole in the ceiling. It was only a tiny cavern, a place barely anyone visited, but memories flooded Romy. Home. She had missed this place. She squeezed Neev's hand.
"This room is special," she said.
Neev looked around at the craggy walls. "It's empty, other than a few bats and spiders."
Romy shook her head. "No it isn't. Memories fill it. When the other demons picked on me, and called me a baby, I used to escape to this room. I spent many hours here, playing with my teddy bear, eating donuts, and reading books about adventures."
When they walked into the next chamber, more memories stung her and moistened her eyes. This room was also empty, aside from a puddle of lava and some stalagmites.
"This room is special too," she whispered. "In this lava, I used to roast hot dogs, marshmallows, and ponies." She bit her bottom lip to stop it from trembling.
"Ponies, Romy? Really?"
She nodded. "Mhm. Delicious ones with crunchy hooves. We'll eat some later."
"I'll pass."
They kept walking, moving through chambers and tunnels. The rooms grew larger as they walked. Snakes coiled around their feet. Bats fluttered overhead. In the larger chambers, dragons flew and shrieked under the ceiling.
Demons lived here too, thousands of them—they walked down tunnels, fle
w over pools of lava, nibbled on bones in shadowy corners, drank wine at tables laden with skulls, and trained with pitchforks and blades. Romy sighed. It had been so long since she'd seen fellow demons! She tried to wave at a few, but they ignored her. She recognized many of these demons—she had grown up with them—but they only scoffed when they saw her.
One demon, a beautiful female with flaming hair, called out to her, "Hey, Romy, where's your teddy bear?"
The demon's friends laughed.
"Yeah, Romy!" another called out. "Shouldn't you be having a tea party now with other babies?"
Romy ignored them. Let them laugh at her! She didn't care. She had spent too many years crying over their taunts. She was a proud member of Bullies for Bucks now; she didn't care what these demons thought.
Neev, however, seemed concerned. He looked at the laughing demons, back at Romy, and sighed. Suddenly he seemed sadder than Romy had ever seen him.
"Are you okay, Romy?" he asked softly.
She poked him with her pitchfork and shouted. "Keep walking, sinner!" In a quiet voice, she added, "Don't worry about them, Neev. I know those demons. They're just big bullies. Soon we'll find my friends, and you'll see what real demons are like."
They kept moving through chambers and tunnels. They walked for hours. Romy introduced each chamber they walked through.
"And in this room, I once bit my own tail," she said, sweeping her arms around a cavern full of soot. Neev nodded.
"Oh, and this room!" They walked through a chamber where columns of fire crackled and skeletons hung on chains. "In here I once bit a hellhog's tail."
Neev nodded.
"And this room is really special!" she said in the seventieth room, a chamber full of skulls and bones. "I swallowed a marble here once. A really nice one too."
Neev rubbed his shoulders. "Romy, I'm tired. Are there many more rooms to walk through?"
"Millions!" She smiled. "Remember that I'm 207 years old and have many stories to tell. Ooh, and this room ahead! I once baked a cake here, but the dough grew too big, and—"
"Romy, can we rest? Please? After we rest, I'll listen to all the stories about you biting this, and eating that, and anything else."
She placed her hands on her hips and glared at him. "Really, Neev. Burrfield is conquered. The other Bullies need our help. And all you can think about is your tired, poor feet. Come on, let's just go meet my friends." She pulled him toward a doorway. "I know a shortcut."
He followed her. "If you knew a shortcut, and we're in a hurry, why didn't you—"
"Not now, Neev! No time. Let's go."
They entered a narrow hallway, walked for a moment, and entered a round chamber. Once inside, Romy untied Neev's hands and grinned. She had missed this place.
Unlike the other rooms, which were all bare rock and lava, this room was made for comfort. Shelves lined the walls, holding jars of marbles, teddy bears, building blocks, and board games. A rocking chair stood in one corner. A music box played a jaunty tune. Two little demon girls sat upon a rug, having a tea party with their dolls.
The girls looked up from their game. Their eyes lit up, and they leaped toward Romy.
"Romy! Romy, you're back!"
They hugged her legs. Romy beamed.
"Hi there! Did you miss me?"
The little demons nodded, clinging to her. Their flaming hair was tied in pigtails, and pink ribbons decorated their tails. Hearts were drawn onto their wings.
"We missed you very much!" they said. "Do you want to have a tea party with us?"
Neev stood, looking confused and uncomfortable. "Um... Romy, are these the friends you told me about?"
She nodded and wagged her tail. "Yes sir!" She patted the demon hugging her left leg. "This is Annie." She patted the demon hugging her right leg. "And this is Mandy."
The girls grinned at Neev. "Hello, nice mister human!"
Neev cleared his throat and waved hesitantly. "Uhm, Romy, they're... little children."
Annie blew him a raspberry. "I'm not little, I'm eight."
Mandy stuck out her tongue. "And I'm eight-and-a-half, I'm big."
Romy hugged them close. "Don't listen to him, he's just a cranky warlock. Come on! Let's play marbles like we used to."
"Okay!" the demon girls chimed together. Soon the three demons sat on the floor, squealing and laughing as marbles rolled. Mandy opened a box of chocolates, and soon Romy's face was covered and her belly full.
"Have some chocolates, Neev!" Romy said. He was still standing in the corner, eyes wide. "Join us."
Hesitantly, he sat down on the rug. Mandy and Annie leaped onto him and kissed his cheeks.
"Eat some chocolates, Uncle Neev!" Mandy said.
Annie held out the box to him. "They're yummy."
He did not eat but looked at Romy. He opened and closed his mouth several times before he could speak.
"Romy," he finally said, "we came to Hell to find help defeating Madrila. You said your friends are fierce warriors."
"They are!" Romy said. "Show him, girls."
The two little demons shoved Neev down and began pummelling him with their fists. They roared and kept punching him. Neev lay on his back, sighing.
Romy leaned down and whispered, "You have to pretend to be hurt, that's how it works."
His face grew red. He leaped to his feet, knocking the girls back. His hair was wild.
"Romy, for heaven's sake!" he shouted. "I'm done pretending! Our town needs us. Our friends need us. My siblings need us. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" He glared at her. "Was all this just an excuse to visit your friends, these little girls?"
Annie and Mandy stared at him, mouths open. Tears filled their eyes, their bottom lips wobbled, and they began bawling. Their tears flew in fountains.
"Look what you did," Romy said. She put her hands on his shoulders. "Neev, I..." She felt tears fill her own eyes. She hated her weakness. She didn't want to cry! She wanted to slap Neev, to yell at him, to be strong and right and angry. But her tears did fall, and she turned her head aside in shame. "Oh, Neev," she whispered. Her body trembled. "I'm so sorry."
"I just—" Neev pulled his hair. "I don't know, Romy. I don't know anymore. What should I do with you?"
She hugged him and leaned her head against his shoulder. Her tears wet his cloak. "I'm sorry, Neev. I'm sorry I'm sorry so very much." She trembled against him. "I want to save Burrfield, really! But... I guess I also wanted you to see my home. You know?" She sniffed, looked into his eyes, and touched his cheek. "I love you so much. With all my heart, so much that it hurts sometimes. So much that... when you're away from me, I'm so sad, because I miss you so much. And when I'm with you, I'm always happy. No matter what. Even in the great dangers, and through the toughest times, I'm happy when I'm with you. Because I love you that much. And... well, you showed me Burrfield. You showed me your family and friends. And I wanted you to... to see my home, and meet my friends, and...."
She could say no more. Sobs racked her body and she could only cling to him, drenching him with her tears.
He sighed and patted her hair. For a moment they stood holding each other.
"I love you too, Romy," he finally said, voice soft. "Now and always. But what will we do now? How will we find help here to save Burrfield, to save our house, our home?"
She held him tight. "I don't know, Neev. I thought Annie and Mandy could help us, but... they couldn't even beat you up. Not even you, Neev! How would they fight grunters or Madrila?"
He bristled and cleared his throat. Before he could reply, Mandy squeaked up.
"If you need help fighting somebody, we can bring the hellhogs."
Annie nodded. "Mhm. We have lots of them. After you left, Romy, the girl hellhogs all had babies. And they've grown. Quickly."
"We trained them!" Mandy added. "They'll do whatever we say."
Romy's eyes widened. She gasped. "Hellhoggies!" She jumped up and down. "Squee squee! Me wants to see the hoggies!" She grabbed Neev's hand
and pulled him. "Come on, Neev, let's go see them!"
Mandy and Annie led the way, skipping and wagging their tails. Romy and Neev followed. They passed through a doorway, down a tunnel, and into a great chamber the size of a mountain. The girls led them over a craggy stone bridge. Lava bubbled below, and rocs screeched above. Other demons lived here, glaring from alcoves that filled the chamber walls. Neev pulled his hood close down over his head, but if anyone noticed a human walking through Hell, they only muttered.
The girls sang as they skipped ahead. "We're off to see the hoggies! The wonderful hoggies of Hell!"
One old demon, who stood on an outreach of stone above, waved a cane at them. "Be quiet, damn kids! And I thought I told you to stop bringing sinners down here."
They ignored him and kept walking. Across the bridge, they walked down a twisting tunnel, and soon entered a great shadowy chamber. The air smelled of fur and fire. Hundreds of eyes filled the shadows. Hundreds of tails wagged and hundreds of mouths slobbered.
"Hoggies!" Romy said. "Look, Neev!"
The hellhogs filled the chamber. Some were older, the size of rhinos on Earth; they had black fur, red horns, and long tusks. Most were the youngsters, half the size but still larger than Romy, their fur red and their tusks still short.
"These things will fight for us?" Neev asked, raising an eyebrow.
Romy nodded. "Look at those teeth! Look at those horns!"
"And we've trained them well," said Annie and Mandy, tails wagging. "They're also available for dancing routines, if you're interested."
"We're most definitely interested," Romy said. "But first we have to save our town." She tugged Neev's sleeve. "Can we take the hellhogs to Burrfield, Neev? Please please please? They'll be really good fighters, I promise."
"Pleeeeease," said Annie and Mandy. "Please please please let us take the hoggies!"
"I don't know...," Neev said.
"Pleeeeease," Romy begged and tugged his sleeve violently. Mandy and Annie hugged his legs. "Please, Mommy Neev, pleaseeeee."
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