Because of You

by Maria E. Monteiro

  “No problem.”

  “I’ll see you later.” I rather be the one to walk away first that way it doesn’t sting when he does it.

  He grabs my arm. “Wait. Where are you going?”

  “To school.”

  “Why can’t I walk with you?”

  “I don’t know. I mean Austin what’s going on between us? What are the rules?”

  “Rules? There are no rules. We both like each other. Right?”

  I nod.

  “That’s it. We both like each other and we’re getting to know each other again.” He takes my hand in his. “Can’t we just take this one day at a time?”

  “Yeah. But if people see us together they’re gonna jump to conclusions. They’re already talking about us.”

  “I don’t care what people think. Do you?”

  I shake my head. This is the Austin I wished for back when I was ten years old. This is the Austin I was falling for.

  “Good. Come on lets go to school.”

  It only takes seconds for everyone’s heads to whip around to look at us walk down the hallway. Whispers quickly follow. The girls are all probably wondering how I landed one of the most wanted guys in school, and I’m sure the guys are wondering what’s so special about me. They almost certainly think I’m sleeping with him. I try my best to ignore all of their stares.

  “Now was that too hard,” Austin says, leaning against the locker next to mine.

  Is he kidding? Did he not see everyone looking at us? “It was fine.”

  “Damn this sucks.”

  “What sucks?” Is he already regretting all of this?

  “It’s almost time for class.”

  “It won’t be that bad,” I say shoving my textbooks into my backpack.

  “Yes it will. I won’t get to see you ‘til lunch.” He stands in front of me. “I guess I’m gonna have to get enough kisses now to hold up until then.” He steps closer forcing my back against the cold green lockers. He places his arm above my head as he leans in and presses his soft lips against mine. It’s only takes seconds for me to get lost in his lips.

  We continue to kiss in the middle of the hallway as everyone walks by. At this moment I don’t care what anybody thinks. He pulls away and says with a sexy smile, “I might have to walk you to class so I can kiss you again.”

  “I’d like that,” I whisper, feeling my cheeks burn. I really can’t get enough of him.

  I can most definitely be one of those girls that makes out in the middle of the hallway if it’s Austin’s lips I’m kissing. We turn around just in time for me to see Garret glaring at us.

  My relationship with Garret has been over for over a month, yet seeing the way his grey eyes are full of anger makes me feel guilty. I lower my gaze towards the ground. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way, it’s not like Garret waited to be with someone else. He hooked up with Cara as soon as he could.

  Austin also notices Garret’s glare and lets go of my hand only to wrap his arm around my shoulders, as we walk past him. I hate feeling like I’m doing something wrong.

  By the time my first class is ends it’s all over the school that Austin and I are dating. Farrah fills me in how everyone is talking about it. She’s upset I didn’t tell her myself and she had to find out through other people.

  “For the last time we are not a couple,” I explain, walking down the hallway to our next class.

  “But he kissed you in front of everyone. If he’s not your boyfriend then what’s going on?” Farrah eyes widen as a million thoughts run through her head. “Are you and him only hooking up for...”

  “No! We’re just talking right now. It might lead to more and it might not.”

  “Who gets to decided that?”

  She’s right, who does get to decide that? Do I want to be in a relationship with him? Sure things seem to be going good right now, but if guys have taught me anything is that they can’t be trusted. Then again I don’t think I can control what I’m feeling in my heart.

  I turn the corner and spot two beady eyes glaring in my direction. “Well if it isn’t the flavor of the week,” Leah mocks with an evil smile. Her friend Ariel stands behind her ready to watch Leah destroy me.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Farrah asks stepping towards them.

  “Jade knows what I’m talking about.” Leah raises her eyebrows as she cocks her head to the side. “If you think Austin wants anything more than just a couple of days of hooking up with you, you’re crazy.”

  “I’m not anyone’s flavor of the week,” I correct her hoping I’m right.

  “Sure. Keep telling yourself that. We all know his record.” She pushes her head back letting out an obnoxious laugh. “That’s what Austin does. He makes you believe you’re the girl who’s really captured his heart and then crushes you. I’ve been his friend for years and I’ve seen girls like you come and go. Each one of them thought they were going to actually make him their boyfriend. Oh well, enjoy your week.”

  “Just because he doesn’t wanna be with you, because lets face it the boy has taste, does not mean he really doesn’t...”

  “Forget it Farrah,” I interrupt her. “Let’s just...” My phone buzzes with a text message. I look at the screen and see Austin’s name. My heart begins to race. With a big smile I wave my phone in the air and gloat, “Excuse me. I have to get this, its Austin.”

  Leah narrows her eyes tighter as her lips pout in anger. She turns around and storms off with Ariel right behind her.

  Farrah begins to laugh. I want to laugh too and really believe I won that confrontation but a bigger part of me is scared she might be right.

  I look at the words, Can U meet me @ my locker rt now? light up my screen.

  “I gotta go,” I tell Farrah, and rush to the other side of the school to meet him. I wonder what he wants? Has he already heard the rumors of us dating and is now upset? My body trembles the closer I get to his locker.

  “Hey, what’s up?” I ask reaching him out of breath.

  “I can’t meet you for lunch.”

  “Oh.”

  “I have a meeting with my counselor about applying to schools.”

  “Wow. That’s exciting, but why didn’t you just text me.”

  “Because I wanted to see you, and do this.” He sweeps me in his arms and begins to kiss me. My legs become weak under his spell. I have to believe I’m not just a game for him.

  I move my head back and scan the hallway to see who might be looking at us. “What’s wrong?” he asks.

  “People are already talking about us. Saying that we’re dating.”

  “So. I already told you I don’t care what anybody says.” He leans in again and tries to kiss me, but I stop him.

  “They think we’re dating. Don’t you care that girls might think you’re off the market?”

  He laughs making those irresistible dimples appear. “I’m not on the market anymore. Don’t you know all I wanna do is be with you? I don’t care what anyone says. If they all think you’re already my girlfriend, well then good. Cause the way this is heading that’s what I want.”

  My stomach spins with joy while I secretly wish Leah had heard what he just said. This time I lean forward and kiss him. I trust him completely.

  19

  Warning: He’s Trouble

  It’s been three hours since I’ve seen Austin and I can’t wait to see him again. I wish he didn’t have football practice. All I want to do is be in his arms and have his lips on mine.

  “I think your sister has finally decided on a theme and a florist making my life a little easier,” my mom says, walking into the kitchen interrupting my happy thoughts.

  “Where is she?”

  “On her way back to the city.” She looks up at the ceiling and exhales. “Okay we need to talk.”

  Oh-oh I don’t think I’m going to like this.

  “What’s going on with you and Austin?”

  “I already told you nothing,” I lie. I don’t kno
w why I’m scared to tell her the truth. “We’re just friends.”

  “Since when? Because the last thing I knew you couldn’t stand him.”

  “I don’t know. We just started talking again and I forgave him for what he did when we were kids. Mom, people change.”

  “I know. I just don’t want you to get hurt again.” I know she means well, but this time she’s wrong. I really believe Austin will not hurt me again. At least I hope he won’t.

  The doorbell rings saving me from this conversation. “That must be Tony.” Oh God, why is he here again? Can’t they go more than one day without seeing each other?

  My mother disappears into the foyer. I hope they don’t expect me to eat dinner with them again. I’m running out of excuse to get out of the house when he’s around.

  “Jade!” my mother calls.

  “What?”

  “It’s for you.” For me? Ohmigod its Austin!

  The butterflies in my stomach begin to flutter as I quickly make my way to the front door. I’m really going to have to explain this to my mother later.

  I turn the corner and instead of seeing Austin I see Logan standing at the door talking to my mother. Why doesn’t she let him in?”

  “Hey,” I say. His eyes sharply look at me and I know immediately this is not a good visit.

  “Well I’ll let you two talk,” my mother says, and walks back into the kitchen.

  “Come in,” I utter, afraid of what he’s about to unleash on me.

  “No. I rather talk to you outside.

  “Okay.” I step outside. “What’s up?”

  “I can’t believe you. How could you be dating him? You kept telling me nothing was going on and all this bullshit, and now you’re dating him! You know what he did to me!” His voice is razor sharp.

  “I know, but like I tried to tell you before all that stuff with Olivia was not his fault. He didn’t know you guys were dating.”

  “Who gives a fuck! He’s still an asshole. He’s gonna hurt you Jade and I’m not sticking...”

  “Don’t say it. Because after you say it you can’t take it back.” I close my eyes and inhale. “Logan, I thought you said you were going to be okay with my decision to be with him.”

  He shakes his head in anger. “That’s because I didn’t really think you were going enter into a real relationship with that asshole. I don’t understand why you’re being so stupid.”

  “I’m not being stupid. Logan, I like him...a lot. I don’t wanna lose your friendship over this but...”

  “Don’t say it, because after you say it you can’t take it back,” he repeats my words sending chills up and down my back.

  “So where do we go from here?” my voice cracks. Fighting with Logan hurts so much. It brings me back to being that ten year old girl who’s just lost her best friend. Why can’t things just be easy?

  We both look into each other’s eyes not knowing what to say next. I don’t want to lose his friendship, but at the same time I can’t let go of Austin to safe it. I wish he could just understand and be supportive.

  “I don’t know. I’ll see you in school.” He gets in his car and drives off as I stand on my front steps with my sunken heart beating weakly. I hope this is not the end of us.

  Logan stays away from me for most of the week. But by Friday he actually starts talking to me again. Okay, he doesn’t really say much. He basically just asked me if I was going to the game. When I told him I wouldn’t miss watching him play he smiled. I’m not giving up on us. I can’t. I need him as much as I need Austin.

  Farrah and I sit in the same spot we sat the last time. Austin looks so good out there. I swear number 24 is becoming my favorite number.

  He runs for twenty-five yards and gets our team another first down. Leah cheers louder than any other cheerleader and then turns to look my way. I try my best to ignore her. I’m not going to let her get to me anymore.

  The one person I am having a hard time ignoring is Austin’s dad. Instead of cheering with everyone else he complains how Austin’s mistakes got him tackled and prevented him from running any further.

  I get a cold chill listening to him complain about each move Austin makes. His voice is so loud you can’t help but listen each comment.

  We begin to lose the game and his rants become louder and ruder. I want to run onto the field and save Austin from all his comments.

  By the time the game ends my head hurts from all the negative remarks he’s been making. I’m happy we won the game, I would hate to see what he’d be like if we’d lost.

  Austin walks off to the sideline after thanking the other team for a good game. His jaw tightens when he sees his father walking towards him. He’s probably going to point out everything Austin did wrong.

  I can’t move as I watch him just nod his head while the rest of his team celebrates the win. He finally glances up at me and his face softens as a warm smile appears. My heart immediately begins to flutter. I can’t stand how cute he is.

  His father follows Austin’s eyes and glares at me before hitting Austin on the chest to bring back his attention to his lecture.

  “Come on lets go. I wanna go congratulate Josh.” Farrah has been hanging out with him again. In fact I hardly see her anymore. I haven’t said anything to her because I know exactly how she feels. I want to spend all my free time with Austin too.

  “He was awesome tonight,” Farrah says, pushing through the people to get to the field.

  “Yes he was. And don’t forget Logan, he was also really good tonight.” Thanks to all his tackles the other team didn’t get to score as much.

  “And don’t forget your honey Austin,” she teases.

  “Shut up.”

  The field it’s packed with fans congratulating the team.

  “Did you guys enjoy my tackles?” Logan asks, puffing up his chest and walking towards us like he’s Superman.

  “You were okay,” Farrah jokes, looking at him likes she wasn’t impressed. She gives him a quick hug and runs off to congratulate Josh.

  “You were amazing,” I say, giving him a tight hug hoping he doesn’t reject me. He squeezes me back. I wish things weren’t so weird between us.

  I quickly glance around to see if I can find Austin, but they’re too many people around us, making it impossible to spot him.

  Logan lets out an irrigated breath. “He’s already in the locker room.”

  “I wasn’t...”

  “Yeah, right. Well I better go get changed.” Damn, why did I do that in front of him? Now he’s mad at me again.

  “Are you heading to the party with us?” Farrah asks him coming back to stand next to me.

  “Yeah. I’ll meet you guys in the parking lot,” he calls out disappearing into the crowd. I hope he gets over this soon, because I don’t know how much longer I can take it.

  Farrah and I sit in her car singing our hearts out to Parmore’s song Still into You. Farrah leans in and lowers the music. “I have to tell you something, but you can’t judge me or say anything.”

  “What’s up? Is this about Josh?”

  “Yes.”

  “What happen?”

  “I slept with him,” she blurts out, and digs her face into her hands waiting for my reaction.

  “What?”

  “Please don’t judge me,” she says, still hiding behind her hands.

  “I’m not. I mean, where you careful?” I have no idea what to say to her. A part of me knows she only did it to get him to like her. I really hope he’s not using her.

  She removes her hands off her face. “Of course I was. Jade, it was amazing...I know I’m stupid for sleeping with him without being in a relationship or anything.”

  “Why did you do it?”

  “I don’t’ know it just happened...Oh God, please don’t say anything to Austin or even worse Logan.”

  “Of course not. I won’t say anything to anyone.”

  “Won’t say anything to who?” Logan asks, jumping into the backseat.
>
  “Nothing,” we both say at the same time.

  “Whatever. Anyway Jade, Austin told me to tell you he’ll meet you at the party. He has to go home first. I guess he thinks I’m you’re personal messaging service and forgot what a phone is for,” Logan snaps.

  “I let him know not to send messages through you anymore,” I bark, then turn around and put the music up. I can’t stand his attitude anymore.

  By the time we get to the beach everyone is there. Farrah spots Josh right away and can’t help to form a huge smile when he calls her over. “I’ll see you guys later,” she says and runs off to where he’s standing.

  “Okay. Be careful!” I call out. I can’t believe she slept with him. I really hope she doesn’t end up getting hurt.

  “So, he’s finally paying attention to here again, huh?” Logan says, walking alongside me.

  “Yeah. I hope this a good thing.”

  “Me too. You know being the only guy in this three-way friendship is really hard. I always have to watch after you guys.”

  “You love it,” I tease wrapping my arm into his.

  “Yeah right.” He sweetly smiles. “Okay maybe a little.” For a minute I feel like I have the old Logan back. He’s not mad and is actually being nice to me.

  “Hi Logan,” Becky, Summer’s friend, says approaching us. She can’t stop smiling as she bats her eyes.

  “What’s up?” he responds putting his hands in his front pockets.

  “You were really good tonight.” She twirls her red hair around her finger. I’m beginning to feel like the third wheel.

  “Thanks. Umm...a...is my sister with you?” I feel his muscles tense. Ohmigod I think he’s actually nervous.

  “Yeah, she’s over there with Mason and Lexi.”

  “Cool. A...a...so how’s freshman year treating you?” He runs his fingers through his sun kissed blond hair. This is so weird I never seen him like this. He’s usually calm and collective. Maybe I should give them space to talk.

  As a sign from above I spot Austin walking onto the beach. I can’t believe how crazy my heart goes every time I see him “Um, I’m gonna go meet Austin. I’ll see you later.”