by R. R. Banks
She had never looked so beautiful.
My breath caught in my throat, and I felt an unexpected sting of tears in my eyes. My hand covered my mouth, and I tried to get my emotions under control as I stood up and took a few steps toward her. Thea looked at her reflection and tried to smooth down the voluminous skirt. She watched my reaction in the mirror.
"Do you like it?" she asked, sounding unsure.
"I hate it," I said as I took my hand away from my mouth. "I hate it so much. But it's a wedding dress. You're a bride!"
She nodded, smiling wider now.
"I know!" She focused on her own reflection again. "This is kind of a lot," she admitted.
"Well, that's good," the clerk said. "We found your limit. That makes it easy to scale back."
"Way back," I said.
Thea stepped down from the platform and shuffled back toward the dressing room. I sat back on the couch and slowly sipped my champagne, preparing myself for another long stretch of nothing but silence and the faint sound of sappy instrumental love songs playing over the sound system. It was only a few moments later, though, that Thea appeared again. This dress was the scaled-down version of the first the clerk had promised. There was still plenty of poof and sparkle, but the headpiece was gone, and I could actually discern Thea’s body from the layers of fabric.
"What do you think of this one?" she asked.
"I think it's closer," I said. "But I'm not ready to toss birdseed on you just yet."
"You're right. I think I'm going to try a couple more." She glanced over her shoulder at me. "Are you sure you don't mind?"
"Not at all," I said. "We've been waiting for this our whole lives."
"You don't need to go back to work?"
"I took the whole day off. There's nowhere else I'd rather be than right here with you."
I settled back onto the couch for the next two hours and watched as the fantasy Thea and I had since we were little girls played out in front of me. It was beautiful yet surreal. I had thought about this day so much, however, my mind had focused solely on the "one day" aspect. We were dreaming about it, thinking about it, planning for it...and suddenly we were living it. Now that it was here, it seemed like it had happened so fast. Thea was the epitome of a bride. She looked gorgeous in all the dresses, even the ones I was reasonably sure she put on just to test my loyalty to her, but above all, she looked happy. There was a look of sheer joy on her face I had never seen before. I was so happy for her, in fact, I didn't even protest when the clerk ushered me into my own dressing room and stuffed me into a purple Mermaid-style bridesmaid dress that might have been the reason Ariel left the ocean before any of her sisters got married.
I continued to sip on glasses of champagne while Thea tried on dresses. Finally, I stood beside her in a lavender dress with an excessive train connected to my hand with a loop around my middle finger, and a massive veil that I felt was the only appropriate accessory.
At least the champagne told me so.
I rested my head on Thea's shoulder and looked at her reflection in the bank of mirrors. Since the first dress, the pendulum of styles had swung all the way to the other end of the spectrum, and she was wearing little more than a satin slip and a fascinator in her hair.
"I think we might have gone too far," I said.
Thea nodded.
"I really loved the one with the lace."
"Which one with the lace?"
"The candlelight one."
"Candlelight?"
"Not white but not really ivory."
"Oh, yes. Candlelight. Three dresses back?"
"Four."
"With the sparkles on the top."
"Yes."
"Really?"
"What's wrong with it?"
"Nothing," I said with a shrug. "It's lovely. It just seems a lot simpler than what I imagined you would choose. I thought you'd go for something more ball gown-inspired."
"I thought so, too, but that wouldn't really be appropriate for the resort."
"The resort?"
I felt like I had missed a step.
"Didn't I tell you? Bryce wants a destination wedding."
"Destination wedding? You're not getting married in the chapel?"
We had ridden by the tiny century-old chapel on our bikes countless times while growing up. The small town she still called home was still stuck in the past in many ways, including original historic buildings, little opportunities for nightlife, and the ability for children to put on their bathing suits and ride down to the community pool without anyone batting an eye. Sometimes I shudder thinking about that. I would barely go through town by myself now, much less consider allowing a child to do the same. Maybe that’s a result of the culture shock from moving to the city. Perhaps it came from too many late nights watching TV shows that scared the hell out of me and stopped me from ever opening my windows. Either way, I now looked back on those peaceful, idyllic rides through our hometown with a sense of nostalgia and terror. Now, though, there would be a hint of sadness to the memories.
"No," Thea said, shaking her head. "It doesn't work with the plans we've made."
"You've only been engaged for a few weeks. How many plans can you possibly have made?"
"A lot, actually. Bryce really wants to be involved."
"You've always wanted to get married in that chapel," I said, reaching up to take off my veil. It didn't seem as playful in the room anymore. "You used to talk about the flower wreaths you would make and the rose petals you wanted the flower girl to sprinkle down the aisle. We even tried to sneak in there that Halloween night, so we could practice throwing open the doors for you to run down the front stairs."
Thea smiled.
"We didn't try to sneak in. We did sneak in. What we didn't do was sneak out. We didn't know that the doors had an outside latch and by the time we had slipped in through the back window, it was too late. Don't you remember? We weren’t tall enough to climb back out the window and we couldn't find another exit, so we ended up having to spend the night on the pews. It was the scariest night of my life."
"We thought it was haunted because of all of the creaking."
"And we were in so much trouble when they found us the next day. Our parents told us we weren’t allowed to go trick-or-treating the next year."
"But we did," I said. "They went with us, and it was so embarrassing at the time, but we still got to go."
Thea sighed and smiled. I could see a faint glimmer of tears in her eyes and knew she was looking back on our childhood with the same sense of nostalgia I had.
"I can't believe how many years ago that was," she said softly.
"I know," I said. "You've been thinking about having your wedding there for all these years, and now you're just going to forget about it?"
"It just doesn't fit in with our vision for the wedding," Thea said. "Besides, he has a huge family, and combined with my family and all of our friends... that chapel is just too small. The resort he chose is going to be beautiful. And it's historic too. Maybe not as old as the chapel, but it really is reminiscent of home, but a little bit more special for my wedding."
"I didn't think anything was more special than home," I said.
I took a step back from the platform, trying to control the emotions filling me. I had been having so much fun. I hadn't expected the emotional crash and burn I had just experienced.
"What's wrong?" Thea asked. "Are you actually upset about the chapel? I promise where we're holding the ceremony is just as adorable, and you're going to love the rest of the resort."
I shook my head.
"It's fine," I said. "It's your wedding, after all. All that matters is that it makes you happy. I guess I always thought we would plan your wedding together and now I feel like you've done most of it without me."
The smile suddenly faded from her face.
"Roxie… You haven’t been around," she said.
I felt like she had wrapped her hand around my heart and
crushed it. I nodded.
"You're right," I said. " I'm going to go change out of this dress." I took a few steps toward my changing room and then looked back at her. "You should definitely go with that dress. You look really pretty in it."
By the time I came out of the dressing room, Thea was waiting for me on the white sofa. I suppose not being under the influence of a little too much champagne and having a dedicated team to help you dress and undress, can be very useful in this situation. I was embarrassed as I walked toward her, and she jumped to her feet, looking just as upset as I was.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have said that."
"No, you’re right. We haven’t been talking nearly as much as we should lately, and I haven't visited in too long. I shouldn’t expect your wedding to be the exact same as the one we planned when we were little girls, or for you to talk about the details with me and not your fiancé. I just miss you."
"I miss you, too. I miss you every day. There's no one else in the entire world I would want to be my maid of honor. Nothing has changed about that. Besides, there's still plenty of details about the wedding that are left to be planned. Bryce might have picked a charming resort, but he doesn't know anything about flowers or napkin rings or favors or any of those things. Will you still help me?"
"Of course, I will." I gathered her into a tight hug. "What kind of friend would I be if I let you get married without the right napkin rings? "
Any wedding worth its rice has at least one argument (hello, Bridezillas?) and that was a good one. I hoped that our tiny fight over the wedding dress and venue would be the first and last instance of wedding-related drama, but I should have known better. There was something that neither Thea or I ever brought up during her trip to the city. It was an issue that loomed over both of us even though I tried my hardest not to think about it. We danced around it the entire time she was there. We skirted around it when we had lunch and talked about the plans she and her fiancé had already made. Later that night, while sitting in our pajamas at my apartment, eating popcorn and talking about the guest list, we both pretended the problem simply didn't exist. The next day, we tried our best to completely ignore it when we discussed the plans for the reception and wedding party. We were in so much denial we could have modeled as the poster children for my Egyptian fundraiser. Unfortunately, the façade was over six months later when I opened my mailbox and pulled out a slim package from Thea.
I waited until I was inside to open it. I laid the package down on the middle of my coffee table, sat on the couch, and stared at it. I grabbed a handful of the M&M's I kept in a bowl on the table and popped several into my mouth. So, what if they were left over from Halloween? This was a chocolate emergency. My eyes didn't leave the package as I chewed and swallowed the candy. Finally, I opened it. Under the white paper it was covered in, the box was wrapped in light purple tulle. I pulled on the matching bow tied around it and unwrapped the box. Inside were several sheets of premium cardstock, printed in the same purple and navy ink as her invitation. Thea was truly going all out with her wedding colors.
I picked up the first sheet and saw that it was an enlarged version of the invitation she and Bryce had already sent out to their guests. I put it aside and picked up the next paper. This one was a description of the resort Bryce had chosen. Nestled in a sleepy beach town on the Massachusetts coast, the resort featured a historic bed and breakfast as well as a collection of tiny cottages. It wasn't until I was on the third sheet that I needed a refill of my M&M's. I stared at it for several long moments before picking up my phone. As if my thoughts had reached my best friend over the miles, my phone rang in my hand, and I saw it was Thea. She started talking before I could even say hello.
"Did you get it yet?" she asked. "I mean, I know you did. I asked for delivery confirmation. But have you opened it yet?"
"I'm looking at it right now," I said. "But this itinerary has events scheduled a full week before the wedding," I said.
"I know," she said. "You and I talked about all of the pre-wedding events I wanted to do and all the fun activities that are available at the resort. I thought it would be perfect for the family and the wedding party to come up a few days before the guests so we could enjoy some extra time together. I mean, you didn't expect to just show up on the day of the ceremony, did you?"
"No," I replied. "I figured that we would have a few days together at home before we headed to the resort."
"It'll be so much more fun this way," she said. "It'll be much more relaxing, and you will love the resort."
"I know," I said. "You've told me. Several times."
"Because I know you will. It's going to be wonderful. Trust me. I'm so excited. I can't wait to spend time with all of you."
That's what did it. Of everything we had talked about and all the planning we had done, something about that one sentence was enough to make it all really crash down on me. This wasn't just us playing dress up in the boutique or giggling over choices of songs for her first dance. There was an actual wedding coming. A wedding that had gone from a sweet celebration at our hometown chapel to a destination event that involved a whole week at a resort. That meant an entire week facing friends and family I had left behind, including the tricky little issue that Thea and I had so carefully avoided talking about… the ex-boyfriend who had shattered my heart.
And who happened to be my best friend's big brother.
Not only was I going to have to see them again, but I was going to do it all in the glory of my singlehood.
Fantastic.
"What does your dress look like?"
I snapped the top onto the travel container of dressing I had just poured onto my salad before setting it aside.
"It doesn't matter what my dress looks like. It could be the most flattering bridesmaid dress that has ever existed, and it's not going to save me from this."
"Why not?"
Terri bit down into her turkey sandwich, her eyes never leaving me. She was obviously riveted by my torment.
"Right before I moved here, I thought I was going to get engaged at any moment. I had even started planning my wedding. Here's a protip. Don't start planning your wedding until you know that the man you want to marry is actually preparing to propose to you."
"Words to live by," Terri said.
"Don't I know it. The night I was absolutely positive he was going to propose turned out to be the night he wanted to let me down gently. And by letting me down gently, I mean he decided to set up a picnic at the spot where we had our first date…"
"Aww…"
"...For another woman."
"Oh."
"Yeah. The caterer he had ordered the food from – because he's too lazy to put together a picnic himself, but that's a whole other issue – accidentally told my mother about Brad’s plan. So, of course, she told me, and of course, I got even more excited and thought I would add in a little surprise of my own. I bought the most expensive bottle of his favorite bourbon and baked tiny little wedding cakes for us to eat."
"Oh, my lord."
"So now you see where I'm going with this. Nice to have you aboard. So, I snuck up to our spot, figuring that if he was planning a picnic, this was the only place he would go. He had already asked me to see him that night, so I thought I would have enough time to slip up there, hide the goodies, and then get back to my house in time to get ready before he came to pick me up. When I got up there, though…"
"He was getting some goodies already."
"That's one way to put it. Right there in our special spot with the head cheerleader from our high school."
"The head cheerleader?"
"I wasn't popular in school. It lingered."
Terri tried not to laugh.
"So, what about seeing you that night?"
"Oh, he was still planning on that, too."
"He was double-dipping?"
"Bad form in both parties and life."
"That’s a pretty nasty breakup, I'm sure, but that was a cou
ple years ago. What does it have to do with Thea's wedding? You said it was a destination wedding. Would he even be invited?"
"He's her brother."
"I'll write you a note saying you're not allowed to leave the city for six months."
I laughed.
"Thank you, but I don't think that will work. I have to go."
"You're right. Not going would only look worse."
"That leaves me with only one option."
"What's that?"
"I'm going to have to find a gorgeous, charming boyfriend who will impress all my hometown friends and family for an entire week of wedding festivities."
"The wedding is in three weeks. I don't think that's enough time to find someone and get all the way to the boyfriend stage by then."
"Ok. Next best thing. I need to find an incredible date to pretend to be my gorgeous, charming boyfriend that will impress all my friends and family for an entire week of wedding festivities. No strings attached." I sighed. "Where am I going to find one of those?"
"My house."