Accidental Fiancé

by R. R. Banks

  “Congratulations,” he said. “Rue is pregnant.”

  ****

  Rue

  Everything around me got fuzzy and I felt suddenly dizzy.

  Pregnant. I’m pregnant.

  Though it was exactly what we had wanted to find out at this appointment, actually hearing those words sent a shock through me, hitting me unexpectedly hard as though somewhere deep inside myself I hadn’t really allowed my mind or my heart to believe that it was even a possibility. It was like I had just assumed that it wasn’t going to work. After the disaster of Thanksgiving it seemed that it would be the appropriate continuation of things that we would find out that the insemination hadn’t stuck, and we would go our separate ways; them to find another woman whose womb wouldn’t betray them, and me to figure out some other way that I was going to save Grammyma’s house. But that’s not what happened.

  I’m pregnant.

  I turned and looked at Richard. He was staring at me, his eyes sparkling. I felt everything that had happened fall away and all I saw was the man I had met, the man who I hadn’t been able to get out of my mind. We smiled at each other and before I realized what I was doing, I was on my feet, closing the space between us as he did the same. He gathered me into his arms and hugged me close. I filled my lungs with the scent of him, closing my eyes so I could memorize it. He suddenly took a step back, patting my shoulders as if he was worried that he’d done something wrong and was trying to put me back together.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “Are you OK?”

  “She’s fine,” Dr. Morgan said with a slight laugh. “She’s not breakable, I promise. We’ve gotten through the first hurdle. The procedure worked, and Rue is officially pregnant. Your baby is happily growing and has actually gotten through a few key phases of development already. Now we move forward. This is just the beginning.”

  “So, what now?” Flora asked, bringing a stark end to the doctor’s speech.

  Until that moment I had forgotten that she was even in the room and now that I remembered I felt a dampening of my happiness. I wished that Richard and I could just experience this together.

  “Now we decide how to proceed. Rue can either be under my care or the care of one of the midwives.”

  “Midwife,” I said promptly, not giving Flora a chance to interject even though I could see in her face that she was getting ready to say something. “I really appreciate all that you’ve done for me so far, Doctor, but I’d like to have a midwife, if that’s an option.”

  “Of course, that’s an option. We can start you under her care in just a few weeks, once a bit more development has happened. For now, just relax. Enjoy the news. If you notice any signs of problems, such as bleeding, cramping, or dizziness, come in as fast as you can. Other than that, I’ll set you up for your first meeting with the midwife in January.”

  “January?” Richard asked, sounding slightly frantic. “Why that far?”

  “Because there’s really nothing that we can do until then,” Dr. Morgan said. “The baby has plenty of growing to do, and until around the middle of January, we won’t be able to even see a heartbeat. After that, I promise things will get more exciting. So just go on home. Enjoy the holidays. Start thinking of a fun way to announce your pregnancy on Valentine’s Day. Congratulations again.”

  My heart fluttered in my chest.

  Valentine’s Day. Could it be more perfect? Or less perfect? I was having a hard time deciding.

  ****

  Richard

  Valentine’s Day. Could there be a better way to celebrate than to tell everyone I’m going to be a father? …Maybe one.

  We walked out of the medical center and Flora glared at Rue. All pretext was gone now, and I doubted that there was ever going to be anything but this type of uneasiness between them.

  “Make sure that you’re following the diet that I gave you,” she demanded. “I don’t want this baby being born with a food addiction or already behind in the fight against childhood obesity. Besides,” she looked Rue up and down, scrutinizing her, “there’s no real point in you getting fat, is there? You won’t have a built-in excuse once the baby’s born.”

  “Flora!” I scolded, but she didn’t seem to care. She simply turned and stalked toward the car. I turned to Rue. “I’m sorry,” I said. “That was really uncalled for.”

  “Everything about her is uncalled for,” Rue said. “And that’s fine. I’m not doing this for her. I’m doing it for you. And only for you.”

  My heart filled, and I smiled at her.

  “I’m so happy,” I said.

  “And I’m so happy for you. I promise I will do everything I can to be the very best home for your baby until its born.”

  I nodded.

  “I know you will.”

  I could hear Flora shouting at me from the car, but I ignored her. Nothing was going to ruin the joy that I was feeling that day.

  “I guess I’ll see you in January?” Rue asked.

  My happiness sank just slightly. That sounded so far away.

  “I was hoping that I might get a chance to see you over Christmas,” I said.

  Rue glanced around me toward Flora’s voice and shook her head.

  “I don’t think that that would be the best idea,” she said. “I can’t imagine that Flora would be too delighted to have me around for the holidays.”

  I nodded. I understood where she was coming from. If I was her, I wouldn’t want to give up my Christmas to spend time with Flora, either. And after the way I behaved the last time that I was there, I couldn’t imagine that she would be too keen on inviting me back to her home any time soon. Feeling the urge to hug her one more time, I gathered Rue tightly to me, but stepped away sooner than I would have wanted to. I looked at her still-flat belly, nearly laughing at myself for thinking that somehow, she should look different even though the baby was still barely a speck.

  “Go ahead,” Rue said, as if she could read my mind.

  I reached forward and touched my fingertips to her stomach, imagining that somehow my baby could sense that I was there. This was something that I had wanted for so long, and now it was happening. With all of the emotions coursing through me I didn’t know how to feel in that moment, but all I knew was that, at least for that second, I was glad to be sharing it with Rue.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Rue

  Dear Baby,

  Hello.

  You’re there. I know you are. The doctor told me that you are. But I still can’t believe it. I’ve been thinking about you for weeks now, but now that I know that you are really real it’s hard to wrap my brain around it. I wish that I had taken a picture of your daddy’s face when he heard the news. It was a look of such pure, unfiltered, unadulterated joy and love. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a look like that. You truly are so precious already and you will only get more so the longer you grow and the closer you get to being here.

  I get to meet with my midwife for the first time in the middle of January. More than a month away. It seems like it will take forever to get here. I didn’t realize that there was going to be such a long wait in between appointments. I guess I never really had any reason to think about it, but I always imagined that pregnant women were at the doctor or the midwife all the time. Checking in, making sure everything was going alright. Apparently not. Apparently, it’s more like…oh, you’re pregnant…awesome…go away and go about your life for a while. I feel like I’m just kind of drifting around here. You’re in there and I’m set on protecting you, but I don’t have anyone around to tell me how to do it or even if I’m doing alright.

  The time will pass. I just have to keep telling myself that. The time will go by and then I can go in and meet with the midwife and by that point we’ll get to hear your tiny little heart beating. That amazes me more than I will ever be able to tell you. Right now, you are there. You exist. You are alive. But your heart isn’t beating yet. My heart is literally beating for you. But in just a few weeks you will have a he
art all your own that is beating. You have only existed for a couple of weeks, but you are already amazing.

  Christmas is coming soon. I know that you won’t be able to enjoy it this year, but I promise you next year is going to be incredible. I can’t even imagine what types of magic your parents will cook up for you. I can promise you that I will always think about you at Christmas. I’ll never forget this one Christmas that we got to spend together.

  Grow well, little one. There are people who already love you and can’t wait to meet you.

  Rue

  ****

  “Sip slowly.”

  “Christopher, I’m fine.”

  “You’re not fine, you’re pregnant!”

  “Pregnancy is not a disease. I’m fine. I’m so fine they don’t even want to see me at the medical center again until January. That’s when I’ll meet my midwife.”

  “Midwife?” Tessie asked, her voice suddenly slipping back to a time in her life when she wasn’t quite as cultured as she was now. “What do you mean midwife?”

  “You know what a midwife is,” I said. “I’ve decided that that’s the type of care that I want during this whole experience.”

  It had been a little more than a week since I got official confirmation that I was pregnant, and I was sitting in Tessie’s living room stringing cranberries and popcorn for her tree. She had opted for an old-fashioned Christmas this year, completely casting aside the silver, black, and white scheme that we had used the year before in favor of cozy plaids, handmade ornaments, and a live tree that was making her sneeze so much I could only imagine that she was going to be dead by New Year’s. Christopher had just handed me a mug of egg nog, a distinct departure from the stemmed glasses of last year’s festivities, and was urging me to imbibe gradually as to not drown the baby, or something. I hadn’t fully followed his logic.

  “You’re going to go through all of that?” he asked.

  “What did you think was going to happen? I was just going to lay there, and they were going to squish my belly and make the baby come out?”

  “Not exactly,” he said. “Maybe more like they were just going to knock you out cold and when you woke up the baby would be gone.”

  “That’s a depressing thought,” I said.

  “Why?” Tessie asked. “I would think that would be easier. No pain. No tearful goodbye.”

  “I’m going to have a tearful goodbye right now if you don’t stop talking about this,” I said.

  “I’m sorry,” Christopher said. “It’s just that I can’t imagine going through so much, especially the whole natural birth approach, for a baby that isn’t even yours.”

  I felt tears spring to my eyes and set my mug down, turning my attention back to the strand of fruit and popcorn on my lap.

  “It’s what’s best for the baby,” I said. “I’ll be more in control and it won’t get any of those drugs in it during the delivery. Women who have midwives recover faster, too, so I’ll be able to go on afterwards much sooner.”

  “Is Richard going to be there in the room with you when the baby is born?” Tessie asked.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “We haven’t talked about it.”

  “Do you want him to be?”

  “I don’t know. Can we stop talking about this?”

  I was suddenly overwhelmed and didn’t want to be sitting there anymore. I stood up sharply and immediately felt my head start swimming. Everything around me blurred and I reached out to grab something to stabilize me, but didn’t feel anything. Somewhere in the distance I thought I heard Tessie scream, but the darkness was closing around me too quickly to know what she was saying.

  The next thing I knew my eyes were fluttering open to the bright, flashing lights of an ambulance. I could feel myself sliding and it took a few seconds for me to realize that I was on a gurney being rolled toward the back of the ambulance by two emergency responders. I tried to sit up, but straps across my legs and shoulders kept me in place, immediately starting a feeling of panic in my chest.

  “Let me up,” I said.

  “Just lay back, Miss,” one of the EMTs said. “We’re going to help you.”

  “Let me up,” I insisted.

  The gurney bounced over the edge of the ambulance and suddenly I was in the back surrounded by gleaming metal and bright lights. I looked down and saw Tessie and Christopher standing outside, their eyes wide with fear.

  “Richard,” I shouted to them. “Get Richard.”

  “Who’s Richard?” one of the EMTs asked.

  “The father of her baby,” Tessie said.

  “Well, it’s not really her baby,” Christopher interjected. “It’s definitely his, and I mean technically, technically, biologically, it’s her baby, too, but…”

  Tessie slapped her hand over Christopher’s mouth to muffle him and he fell silent.

  “Do you want to be brought to the hospital?” another EMT asked. “We need your consent now that you’re awake.”

  Not something a woman ever wants to hear when she’s tied down to a bed.

  “No,” I said. “I don’t want to be brought to the hospital. I’m under care at a private medical facility. I need to go there.”

  “I’m sorry, we can’t transport you anywhere but the hospitals that we have contracts with. If you want to go somewhere else, you’re going to need to get out of the ambulance.”

  “Then I’m going to need you to untie me.”

  Part of me thought that I might be making a mistake, that I should probably just let them bring me wherever they could, but I knew that Richard had gone to extensive trouble to create the medical facility so that I would get the best of care. Even though I had only been there for two appointments so far, including the procedure itself, I felt strangely accustomed to that care and as though I couldn’t really trust anyone else with his baby. So, after the EMTs released me from the bed, I climbed carefully down and into Tessie’s waiting arms, allowing her to support me as she guided me back into her house.

  “What are you doing?” Christopher asked. “You need to go to the hospital.”

  I shook my head.

  “I’m alright. I think I just stood up too fast. I’m going to call Richard and tell him what happened, and then if he wants me to be seen, he can come get me and bring me to the medical center.”

  We went back inside, and I excused myself to the restroom. Moments later the need to call him felt far more urgent.

  ****

  Richard

  Please no. Please no. Please no. Please no.

  I had never felt so helpless as I did in that moment. I hadn’t even bothered to try to get Abraham, preferring instead to save the time and drive myself to the medical center, but even being behind the wheel of the car myself wasn’t enough to make me feel in control of what was happening. The call from Rue’s friend Tessie had been so frantic that I had barely been able to understand what she was saying, but I had gotten enough out of her to understand that Rue had passed out and was now bleeding. She had refused an ambulance, but I insisted that Tessie take her directly to the facility rather than wait for me. Now I was trying to get there, desperate to be at her side, terrified of what I was going to find out when I got there.

  The traffic around me was infuriating and I found myself wanting to ram the people in front of me to get them out of my way. The drive from my house to the medical center was less than five miles but it felt like it was taking an eternity to arrive. When I finally did, I pulled my car right up to the entrance and jumped out, not even noticing if I actually turned off the ignition and not really caring. If someone wandered by, noticed the car, and wanted to take it, they were welcome to it. There were plenty more where that one came from and I had no issue replacing it.

  I burst through the doors and was met by a nurse who escorted me toward an emergency examination room without greeting. When I got to the door, she paused, and we stared at the closed door for a beat. There was no sound coming through and I didn’t know if I was relieve
d about that or if that made me more afraid. Finally, I lifted my hand and knocked.

  “Come in.”

  I followed Dr. Morgan’s voice and entered the room. He was standing at the end of the bed where Rue lay, her knees bent up and her body covered with a pink blanket. She didn’t turn to look at me. Instead, she seemed focused intently on something in front of the doctor. I walked up to the side of the bed and noticed that his hand was tucked beneath the blanket and that he was staring at the same thing that held Rue’s attention. It was what looked like a computer screen and on it was a fuzzy grey image. I took a step to the side to get a better look, my heart pounding in my chest as I tried to understand what I was seeing.

  “What is that?” I asked. “What’s going on?”

  “That,” Dr. Morgan said, reaching up and touching a finger to something white on the screen that looked vaguely like a Tic-Tac. “Is your baby.”

  “My baby?” I asked, leaning against the bed. “Is it alright?”

  I felt my hand touch Rue’s and her fingers shifted, causing mine to intertwine with hers. I squeezed them lightly, wanting to find as much comfort in her touch as I wanted to give her in mine.

  “It is,” the doctor said. “What Rue experienced is frightening, but it’s not all that out of the ordinary for early pregnancy. In fact, some women experience so much spotting in the early weeks that they think that they have had their period and don’t actually realize that they are pregnant until they are in their second trimester. As for passing out, I’m guessing that’s just a good old-fashioned case of nerves and some dehydration. I’m going to give her some fluids and let her rest here for a while, then she’ll be just fine to go home.”

  The doctor withdrew an instrument from under the blanket and brought the blanket down further to cover Rue the rest of the way. The image on the screen disappeared and I felt a hint of sadness that I couldn’t look at it anymore. The doctor walked out of the room and I waited until the door closed to look down at Rue.