"I'm sorry," she choked and ended their call.
*******
Jasmine re-arranged the contents of her mother's very full pantry, urging her mind to concentrate on the task she had volunteered to do. She had to keep herself busy while they waited for Jessa and Rob to arrive for their first visit to their parents after their honeymoon. Either that or cry quietly in a corner.
A Google Alert had notified her earlier that day of a news snippet on Kane. It was a picture of him in a magazine taken from a black tie event he attended three nights ago—with a very pretty brunette as his date. She had her hand on his arm as he escorted her through the entrance of the gallery. They were smiling at each other. Sweetly.
You should be happy, Jasmine. Kane should now be safe from George's spiteful intentions.
Mindlessly, she moved cans and jars around as her mind played back the pleading messages Kane had left on her phone when she didn't pick up his calls. He had begged her to reconsider, saying multiple times he loved her. It killed her that she had hurt him badly but she still couldn't see any resolution to the problem he didn't even know existed.
Fearing she would eventually cave in if he kept on sending those kinds of messages, she texted him:
*Please stop. Please stay away.*
It worked because she hadn't heard anything from him in the last two weeks.
She knew she was in for some dark and gloomy moments, but she never expected the intensity of the physical pain that clutched her heart and spread throughout her body at the thought that Kane might have moved on. Who was the woman in the picture? If, through some miracle, George turned up today and said he had decided to leave them alone, would Kane be prepared to take her back if she explained everything to him? Or had he reached a point of no return concerning her?
"Jazzie!"
She turned around and smiled at her sister who seemed to look more radiant than she did on her wedding day.
At least someone's happy, she thought with a tinge of envy. She hugged Jessa and appreciated the tight squeeze her sister gave her.
"How are you?" Jessa asked, holding her at arms' length to check her out.
"I'm fine," she said with a fake, bright smile. "I'm just helping Mum organise her pantry. You know how it gets when she goes on a shopping binge for groceries. How are you? Where's Rob?"
"I'm here, Jaz," Rob called out as he stepped into the kitchen. His hello hug was as equally tight as Jessa's was. "How've you been, sis?"
"Good, thanks. I think Mum's roast still has another half an hour to go. I'll join you guys in the living room as soon as I'm finished here. Mum wants to finish the movie she's watching before we eat."
"I'll help you," Jessa offered. "I like going through Mum's pantry too."
Jasmine hid her sigh. She wanted to be alone, but there would be no chance of that.
Rob gave Jessa a swift peck on the lips. Jasmine had to look away from the tenderness in their gazes as some unspoken communication passed between husband and wife. She hurt too much to watch other people be so in love.
"You didn't tell me about you and Kane," Jessa said without accusation as she started checking out the contents of the cupboard when Rob left the kitchen.
Her head swivelled to Jessa, eyes wide and heart palpitating.
"Faye mentioned it to me."
"Are you mad at me?"
Jessa looked at her in disbelief. "Mad? Why on earth would I be mad at you?"
"Because we stayed in your house?"
Jessa snickered. "No, Jaz. Rob and I are not mad. We just want to make sure everything's okay with you. We heard it's over."
"Yes. You know me. I don't stay in relationships for longer than three months," she said jokingly but not quite able to stop the involuntary gulp at the end of her statement.
"Apparently, Kane took it hard," Jessa said softly, looking intently at her.
Tears formed in her eyes. Damn it! Control yourself!
"I didn't mean to hurt him," she said, avoiding Jessa's gaze and trying not to blink to prevent the tears from falling.
"Well, he seems to have recovered. I heard he had a great time at a black tie event he went to the other night. He brought a date with him."
A tear fell. And another. And another.
Jessa sighed. "Jaz? It's not as simple as you make it out to be, is it? Will you tell me about it?"
She turned to her sister and fell into her arms. She sobbed quietly as Jessa rocked her, stroking her hair consolingly.
Then she told Jessa all about it.
"You're J.A. Nell?" Jessa asked, astounded.
"Yes. You've heard of her? I mean, my pen name?"
"I'm a fan! I've read all of your books. When's the next one coming out?"
Jasmine shook her head in wonder. Her sister was one of her fans.
"Unfortunately, my next book will be delayed. I haven't written anything at all in the last few weeks."
"Oh, Jaz. I'm so proud of you. But let's talk about that later. Shouldn't we report George to the police?"
"And tell them what? That an ex-boyfriend threatened to tell people about some hardcore porn I supposedly wrote and I want to stop him so my current boyfriend's reputation wouldn't be tarnished? Actually, Kane's not my boyfriend anymore," she added sadly.
"So are you just going to sit there and let Kane date other women?"
"What else can I do, Jess? I don't want his reputation and business to suffer."
"So you'd rather suffer. You really love him, don't you?"
"Yes. I do."
"There must be something we can do to either stop or neutralise George's threat," Jessa asserted.
Jasmine sighed. It always came back to that. She'd been looking for an answer for the last three weeks and she hadn't found it yet.
"Are you going to Dylan's birthday next weekend?" Jessa asked.
She shook her head. "Dylan invited me when Kane and I were still together. I don't know if I'm still welcome. And I don't think I can see Kane without falling apart."
"Oh Jaz. I'm sure Dylan would want you there. You're a family friend. Besides, I think you should go. You shouldn't let Kane forget about you while we find a solution to your problem."
Hmm. That's a point.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
"Happy birthday, Dyl!" Kane gave his brother a big man-hug before walking into the apartment already half-filled with guests.
"Thanks. Glad you're here, bro. How are you going?"
"I'm great! So you have any new dates here for me?" he joked.
Dylan chuckled. "What? Just because a friend of mine put her hand up for your glitzy black tie event, you now see me as your date supplier?"
"You know more single girls than I do," he replied dryly. Dylan had plenty of female friends, some of whom he'd had one-night-stands with. He didn't know how Dylan did it. It was something he couldn't manage.
"Well, Brenda's here tonight. She enjoyed your date so much she's keen to go to the next function with you. I've already warned you she's not the shy type, right? I'm sure you've already noticed that. But I don't think you should ask her to go with you again if you're still not over Jasmine."
Kane repressed a sigh. Dylan's tone was casual but his gaze was anything but. Not that he could blame him for worrying about his intentions. After Jasmine dumped him, he had a few days of utter foolishness when all he could do was ask anyone who cared to listen how he could get Jasmine back. Well, her last text woke him up. He may have been too idiotic to believe she loved him, but he wouldn't be stupid enough to hang on when it was blatantly obvious she didn't want him anymore.
"Speaking of Jasmine," Dylan said warily, "she's coming tonight."
He gaped at his brother in shock.
"I hope that's okay with you. She only told me yesterday. I didn't tell you because I wanted you to come. It wouldn't be the same if you weren't here."
"Hey, even if you told me she'd be here I would still have come. It's your birthday. Besides, I'm old enough to bump into an
ex without losing my head," he assured Dylan.
Dylan patted him on the back. "Well, mingle around, bro. Have fun tonight, okay?"
He laughed. "I should be the one saying that to you. This is your party, not mine."
~~~~~~~
Kane did his best to have a great time. Okay, maybe it was all superficial but he was intent on not spoiling his brother's party.
His heartbeat accelerated when the front door opened. Jasmine. She had arrived.
His eyes squinted as she gave Dylan a kiss on the cheek and a warm hug. He looked away, cursing himself for feeling jealous of the friendly gesture. His eyes involuntarily went back to her just as she was introducing a female friend she had arrived with to Dylan.
He shook his head. The ache that he thought was lessening by the day had come back in full force. Fuck. Maybe he wasn't prepared to be in same room as her yet.
He turned and walked out to the balcony. He would just have to keep his distance from her as much as he could. He leaned against the railing and gazed at the stars, ignoring the chatter going on around him.
"Kane!"
He recognised the voice of the woman who had volunteered to be his date during his all-important function a few nights ago. He put on a big smile for her as he turned around. "Hi, Brenda."
Brenda snaked her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. "So would you take me again to another one of your high glamour events? I'm afraid this party doesn't rate compared to the ones you get invited to."
He chuckled, placing his hands casually on Brenda's waist. He learnt a few nights ago that Brenda was a massive flirt—shameless but harmless in a fun sort of way.
"You better not let Dylan hear you say that."
"Oh, he's big enough to take it. So, when's the next one, Mr. Summers? I have to get a new outfit for it," Brenda purred as she locked her fingers behind his neck.
"I don't know yet," he answered, knowing there was one coming up but not wanting to commit to taking Brenda with him.
"You'll let me know when you know, yes?"
"Sure," he lied.
"Do you want a drink? What can I get you?" Brenda asked, stepping away but running her hands on his chest as she did so.
"I'm fine, thanks. I'll grab something a bit later."
"Okay, then. Well, I better leave you and see who else I can flirt with tonight."
He laughed out loud at her outrageousness.
~~~~~~~
Kane pretended to smile at the jokes being told by one of Dylan's friends. He was grateful he had an excuse to stay out in the balcony. Even though his heart was saying otherwise, he was respecting Jasmine's wishes that he stay away from her.
A part of him had hoped she would approach him for a chat but it had been a while now since she arrived and she hadn't even said hello. Obviously, she didn't want to have anything to do with him tonight—or ever again. She really meant it when she said it was over. Lord, it was hellish, but he had to accept it.
His attention was caught by Dylan motioning for him to come inside. He pressed his lips tightly but wove through the throng of people in the balcony to go to his brother. So much for hoping to remain where he was until he could leave.
He forced himself not to look around for Jasmine as he stepped back into the living room. "What's up, Dyl?"
"Faye wants you. She's in my bedroom."
He frowned. "Your bedroom? Why?"
"Just go," Dylan replied with a shrug.
He rounded the corner and opened the door to Dylan's bedroom. To his surprise, it wasn't only Faye that was there. Ray and Jessa were with her and all three of them were looking at him in a nervously expectant way.
"What do we have here? A party?" he drawled.
"Close the door, Kane," Faye replied.
He raised his eyebrows at them as he did what his sister asked.
"We want to ask you something."
"Okay. I don't know why I feel like I just walked into an inquisition, but go ahead."
"We want to know how you really feel about Jasmine," Faye asked softly.
He shook his head imperceptibly. Had it been obvious to them he was struggling with his feelings tonight?
"Why do you want to know?" he asked, needing time to process a good-enough answer.
"We just do," Jessa answered. "We're worried about the two of you."
He sighed. He really should work on his acting. He hadn't been very convincing, so here were people who wanted to make sure he had stopped falling apart.
"Jasmine was someone I used to care about. It didn't work out. It hurt me a lot. But I'm okay now. I've moved on," he said with a conviction he didn't feel.
"Are you sure?"
"Faye, yes," he said with frustration. The more they let him be, the quicker he'd recover from his broken heart.
"That girl you were out in the balcony with—she was your date at that big function you went to the other night, wasn't she?" Jessa asked.
"Brenda? Yes, she was."
"Do you like her?" Ray asked.
His eyebrows lifted. Hmm. Maybe this was an opportunity to get them off his back.
"Yes, I like Brenda. She's a lot of fun," he said with a genuine-looking smile.
Jessa exhaled loudly and glanced down on the floor. He frowned. Shouldn't she be relieved he was now fine after her sister tore his heart to pieces? Or was that a sigh of relief?
Jessa looked up at him with a smile of understanding. "Kane, if you say you're over Jaz, then that's that."
He kept a passive expression. "I honestly appreciate all of your concern. But everything's fine. I'm good."
"Okay."
"Can I go now?"
"Yes."
He left the room and closed the door behind him. He took a deep, calming breath before he strode back to where the party was happening. He'd have another drink in the balcony, then leave. He just hoped Jasmine didn't decide to get some fresh air. He just gave a great performance in Dylan's bedroom and he didn't want to undo the fruits of his efforts.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Jasmine looked out the car window, feeling despondent and achy all over.
"I know just what you need," Ari declared as she stopped at the set of lights.
Jasmine glanced at her friend with an apologetic smile. "You really should have stayed at the party, Ari. I could have caught a cab back to your place."
"Don't be silly. Besides, you were the invited one, not me. I was just your tag-along and I didn't know anyone there."
"You already met loads of people in the fifteen minutes we were there. I'm sure you would have had lots of fun with them."
"Jaz, please don't feel guilty about it. I know you would have done the same for me. And if I was in your shoes, I would have left too."
She sniffed, unable to contain her tears. Kane had a new girlfriend. And it cut her deeper than anything had ever had.
"It was all my fault, of course," she said almost in a whisper. "I was the one who pushed him away."
"You did it because you loved him," Ari reminded her softly.
"Yes. And now he doesn't love me anymore." Saying that out loud magnified the pain in her heart a hundred times.
"Well, let's stop this drama. Let's move on. And like I said, I know just what you need."
She smiled, forcing herself to shake off her despair. She was staying with Ari for the weekend and she didn't want to be a sad-faced friend the whole time. "So what is it that I need?"
"New clothes."
She chuckled. "Yes. Some retail therapy would do me good. We can start early tomorrow."
"Oh, but we are starting tonight, my dear."
"All the shops are closed! Or are we shopping online?"
"You'll find out when we get to my place," Ari replied with an air of mystery.
"I'm looking forward to it."
*******
"Okay. First, before we do this I want you to know this is on me. Clear?" Ari said.
Jasmine stared at Ari. "You're buying
me clothes? I can't let you do that," she responded.
Ari smiled. "I'm not exactly buying you clothes. I'm giving you clothes."
"You want to clean out your wardrobe and you want me to take some of your discards?" she joked.
"Ha-ha. No. I'm going to make you clothes."
Jasmine gaped at her friend. "You make clothes?"
"Well, I design them and I get someone else to sew them for me."
"You're a designer? You never told me!"
"I'm just a wannabe designer. I don't have the guts or the resources to make a living out of this. As it stands, I spend a lot of my salary making samples that are not going to make it to production. So you could say this is a very expensive hobby."
"Show them to me," Jasmine cried, letting her excitement for her friend cover up her pain.
Ari gave her a dazzling grin and opened a section of her wardrobe. She pulled out two gorgeous dresses and held them up for her. "What do you think?"
"Wow! They look amazing. You designed these for yourself?" Jasmine asked, feeling the soft material between her fingers.
"Yes. Do you want to try them on? You and I have the same dress size."
"Yes, please."
Jasmine took off her dress, not at all shy at being in her undies in front of her friend. She put on the first one and admired herself in the mirror as the material hugged her trim figure perfectly.
"Ooh, that looks good on you," Ari said.
"It does, doesn't it?" She twirled around in front of the mirror, checking out the garment from different angles. "How did you learn to make dresses like these?"
"I worked for different fashion houses for ten years and I've always been interested in designing, so I made sure I learned as much as I could," Ari replied.
"So how did you end up working for Eros?" she asked, wondering why her friend now worked for makers of intimate apparel.
"Six months ago, I developed this desire to design lingerie. I was already getting disillusioned at my old company so I left and joined Eros."
Secret Words (Secret Dreams Contemporary Romance 1) Page 11