by K. L. Donn
For so long, she’d been told what to do, how to be, and if she disobeyed, there were always consequences. When she’d left school, only after barely graduating, she’d started to figure out who she was. She discovered she liked to be a little wild and outspoken. She wasn’t meek in the way she’d been conditioned to be her whole life.
With Dom, though, it had been effortless. He commanded and she obeyed. Was she reverting back to her former self? Would she lose her identity—what little she’d found—if she let it continue?
It’s because you trust him, Deidre, that you allow his control. There’s a thought.
“I can feel the wheels turning in your mind, Princess. What are you thinking?”
Did he have to know before even I did?
“I just…” She paused not knowing exactly how to word it. Hell, her own thoughts were a jumbled mess. “What we just did…what you just did…”
“Was it too much?” he demanded, sitting up so he could look down on her.
Taking a fortifying breath, she told him truthfully, “It was perfect. Maybe too perfect?” She should have kept her mouth shut. A look of disappointment crossed his face so quickly she almost missed it. “When I’m with you, I get lost in this need to please you. Sometimes I feel like I’m going to lose myself, too.”
He didn’t say anything. It was so quiet she could have heard a pin drop.
She’d hurt him. She didn’t need the fact that he was getting up and dressed with sharp, angry movements to tell her that. No, it was the way his eyes went cold. Lost any trace of caring or leftover lust.
Real fucking smooth, Deidre. She scolded herself.
“Dom, wait, I didn’t mean it like that–” she started when he interrupted with the flattest voice she’d ever heard from him. “I know what you meant, Dee. I’ll be back. Don’t leave this room.”
“Wait!” she called, but he was already gone.
Her tears of regret came fast and heavy.
*****
Dom didn’t know who he was more pissed at, himself or Deidre.
What she said was on point. He had overwhelmed her so fully that she didn’t have much freedom. It wasn’t his intention for her to lose herself; he just wanted her to need him in the same way he needed her.
It was all-consuming.
Passionate to the point of pain.
Never in his life had he believed he would feel what he did for her. It was borderline obsession. Since he’d found her, he’d toned down everything he felt because he didn’t think she was ready for his needs. Tonight had proven it.
The one burning question he had was, could he let her go?
If it came down to her being happy with herself, he would like to think he could. But he wouldn’t do it without a fight.
Growing up, he’d watched the passion his parents had. Their love for one another had always been palpable. Until he met Dee all those years ago, he’d never felt a connection to anyone. He knew it sounded perverted because she was only ten, but back then it had been a kinship of loneliness and a desire to connect with someone. At the time, she craved someone to give a shit about her, and he’d been looking for someone to make him feel human again.
Reaching the lobby of the hotel, he knew he wasn’t leaving her here alone. She was vulnerable in Ireland by herself, so for a while, he was going to people watch. He didn’t think Bradshaw knew she was with him, but he couldn’t be sure, so he wanted to see if they were being followed.
Pulling his phone from his pocket, he took in the scene as couples floated around the hotel carefree. Jealousy threatened to consume him. They could be free, not a care in their worlds. He wanted to have that with Deedee and Jax. A reality he never even imagined.
Jaxson.
His son was his world until two months ago. He’d never let anything pull him away from the little boy the way finding Dee had. When Bradshaw contacted him to find her because she’d disappeared, he’d originally been resistant to do it. He still didn’t know why he finally relented, but he was glad he had. Case was right when he’d said she made him smile. Until her, he’d been going through the motions of life for Jax. There wasn’t much that made him happy outside of his son.
It was a depressing yet eye-opening thought. She was essential to his happiness.
While he was debating on going back up to the room, an older man accompanied by two younger ones entering the hotel caught his eye. They were too rich for this hotel. Wearing expensive Armani suits, the younger two had bulges in their sides telling him they were armed. But the older gentleman was the one who held his attention most, he had a familiarity to him Dom couldn’t place.
When the old man spun around and their eyes met for the briefest of moments, it hit Dom like a ton of bricks.
I know those eyes.
*****
She was getting worried. It’d been hours since Dom left her, and she’d spent most of that time crying her eyes out. But she finally had her head on straight. She just hoped he hadn’t abandoned her.
Just as she was about to go searching for him, the door opened and he walked through. Followed by the men from the airport.
Getting to her feet, she wasn’t sure what to do next. Did they force Dom to bring them to her? Or was he working with them?
A million thoughts raced through her mind as the old man watched her. When he reached his hand out to her, she shrunk back unsure of what to expect from him. Her eyes were glued to Dom as he made his way towards her. When he wrapped her in his arms, she began shaking in fear.
“What’s this, Princess?” he asked referring to her shaking.
Too afraid to speak, she simply nodded at the other men in the room.
“You don’t know them?” He seemed confused.
“The...uh...the airport, they tried to make me go with them,” she whispered.
“Please allow me to introduce myself,” the old man began in an accent he didn’t have previously. “My name is Malaky O’Connor.”
She could feel her jaw drop. That was her grandpa’s name. But it couldn’t be. Her mam had no family left.
Like Bradshaw’s your father?
“What else did she lie about?” Shock and hurt colored her voice.
“Sit, please,” he asked waving his wrinkled hand at the couch. As she did, his guards went to stand at the door. Dom stood behind her with his hands on her shoulders—her silent strength.
“Maureen was a troubled girl. All her life, it was always one thing– “
“Don’t. Just stop. I don’t want to hear anything bad about me mam.” Her stress was building like it hadn’t in years if she was reverting to her old speech.
“You’ve just said she lied, but you don’t want to know what made her lie?” He sounded angry about it.
“I just want to know why you’re here.” Dom squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.
“Your mam sent me a letter a few months ago indicating you were in danger. I came looking.” So simple, yet so fucking complicated at once.
“Why? You don’t know me. What do you care?” She felt feisty. He was alive, and she’d never heard from him before? She didn’t get it.
“You’re me grandchild, of course I care.” Now he sounded hurt. Well, fuck him.
“I’ve been your grandchild for eighteen years. In boarding school for seven, and nearly sold before that. So please continue to act as if you care. I’m dying to hear how hurt you must be. You’re clearly a man of wealth, yet my mam struggled for more than a decade because Bradshaw is a complete waste of skin. You could have helped her. Helped me!” Tears were threatening to consume her.
“Princess,” Dom’s voice held a warning.
“No, Dominic! Fuck him and his stupid money. I was treated like shit my entire life! I never knew I had family, but you...” She pointed angrily at her grandfather. “You knew about me, didn’t you?” He nodded. “Then why? You say Mam was troubled. You had to know how bad Bradshaw was.”
/> “We didn’t– “
“We?” she murmured.
“Princess, sit and listen.” Looking to the man who held everything she was, everything she would become, she tried to understand how he could be so calm until she saw the look in his eyes.
“Oh.”
Speechless didn’t begin to convey how she was feeling. Shock could be close. Stunned would be getting somewhere. She just felt…lost.
So much was being thrown at her, she couldn’t tell who or what to trust anymore.
“Oh child, ‘tis not so simple.” Malaky sounded tired.
“So tell me,” she pleaded, wanting to rip whatever it was off like a Band-Aid. Enough of the pomp and withholding. She was ready to move on.
“I shall start from the beginning then?” At her nod, he painted a picture of her mother that she had a hard time believing. A drug addict? Alcohol? It was all mind-boggling. “She gave her mam and me such a hard time with everything. Then one day she disappeared. We feared the worst.”
He paused. She wasn’t sure if it was to give her time to absorb what he’d said or to clear the obvious hurt the words were causing.
“When was the last time you heard from her?” She had to know.
“I’ve heard from Maureen sporadically over the years. The first time was two years after she left, when we got an invite to her wedding to Bradshaw. Your grandmother tried to warn her against it. He was never a nice man.”
“Why did you let her then?”
“Trust me, we didn’t. Your grandma, Deidre, made such a fuss at the ceremony that we were removed.”
“She talked about you both like you were dead, but the love she had for you both was palpable. I don’t understand any of this. The woman you are describing compared to the woman who raised me is so different. I’m having a hard time correlating the two of them. My mam loved me fiercely. She told me stories of parents who loved her just as much. I’ve never heard of any of this before. She said her wedding was a fairytale.”
Do they hear the heartbreak in my words?
“We gave your mam everything we could, but she had a hard time accepting anything at face value. Never doubt the love we have for her Deidre; we love her more than anything. But there’s a time when a parent has to let the child go, and we did. I will regret that for the rest of my life.”
“Did you know about me?”
“Yes, but not until you were two. We tried to reach out, but Bradshaw refused it. She seemed happy, and that’s all we ever wanted for her. Leaving her alone was obviously a big mistake because we didn’t hear from her again until your eighteenth birthday.”
“What did she say to you?” Dom asked him. She’d almost forgotten that other people were in the room.
“She made a frantic phone call saying she was in trouble but all that mattered was Deidre. That I had to help her. So I sent my men looking for her.” He waved behind him at his guards. “We had a terrible time locating anyone but Bradshaw. He stayed very public. Which is how I knew something was going on. The only reason we learned Deidre was in the country was because Maureen hired one of my men to make fake ID’s for her. It wasn’t until later that we even found out about that either. We all seem to be going in circles, though.”
As he explained what had been happening over the last few months, Deidre felt like her world was crumbling. Like there was no more light at the end of the tunnel.
“Why are you here now?” she blurted out. Her emotions were all over the place. She was tired of the runaround and the non-answers. All she wanted was to live in peace. Looking at Dom’s concerned face, she hoped it would be with him.
“Your mam asked me to take care of you. My plan was to take you back to my home in Kilkenny; however, I can see it’s obviously not needed. Your young man here has quite the protective streak when it comes to you.” He smiled in affection.
Gripping Dom’s hand, she pulled it to her chest hugging him softly. Knowing full-well how much he cared for her brought to light just how much she’d screwed up by leaving him in the height of her panic.
*****
When he first approached the old man in the lobby, he’d been suspicious of his motives and of who he was. But the more Dom talked to him, the more it made sense as to what Maureen and Bradshaw had done... were doing.
Immediately, he realized that Deedee was going to be upset, but she was far stronger than she gave herself credit for. He had faith that she could and would handle it. Her temper might get in the way, though, which she had proved once or twice.
Dominic understood her reticence about hearing anything bad about her mother. For her entire life, she was the only person who had ever loved Deidre, so of course she wouldn’t want to hear anything negative. Nevertheless, after reading the letter she’d found, she was a probably a little more understanding than she would have been.
As he walked Malaky and his guards out the door, Deedee was still sitting on the couch in shock from everything she’d learned. She must feel like her entire life was a lie. It seemed to be one thing after another for her.
“Take care of her, Mr. Slade,” Malaky told him as he left.
After locking the door, he turned to Dee. “How you feeling, Princess?”
She looked at him. The haunted look in her eyes had him worried. “I don’t even know how to process this.”
“Don’t think about it then.”
“How can I not? Everything I’ve been told my whole life was one lie after another.” Betrayal laced her voice.
Walking towards her, he pulled her up into him wrapping one arm around her back and placing one hand under her chin. He tilted her head to look at him. “Princess, I promise you we will figure everything out. Together. Tell me, is what you felt from your mom a lie? The way she protected you, loved you. Do you feel like that was a lie?”
“No,” she whispered back breathless.
“What about us? Are we a lie?”
“Never.”
“Then have faith. One way or another everything will work out. I will get Bradshaw out of your life. We will find out what Brock’s part in all of this was and whether or not he knows the truth about you. And Princess, when that’s all taken care of, you are done running from me.”
She seemed to ponder his words for a minute before saying, “I didn’t mean what I said earlier to sound the way– “
“Don’t worry about it, Princess, I get it.”
“No, I need you to know that the way you make me feel isn’t a bad thing, Dominic. I love all the emotions I get to experience when I’m with you. It’s empowering and overwhelming. It absorbs everything in me. I can’t call it love because I’m not even sure I know what that is.”
This girl.
“When I’m with you, I believe I’m safe. I know I never have a single thing to worry about. For so long, I’ve never thought I belonged anywhere, but when I’m with you, I’m home. You are my safety, my courage. Dominic, you are my home.”
Fuck me.
He didn’t know what to say to her confession. She’d rendered him utterly speechless. How could he possibly tell her that she was all that and more for him, too.
“Fuckin’ hell, Princess.”
Leaning forward, he claimed her lips in a slow caress. Putting everything he felt for her into it. His ownership of her. His need. His love. He poured his entire soul into her mouth as their tongues tangled in a dance as sweet as honey. She gripped his shirt with such intensity like she never wanted to let him go. And that’s exactly what he wanted.
Pulling from her delicious lips, he sighed, “You’re it for me, Princess.”
Her smile lit up her face.
Leaning into his chest, he cradled her head with one hand. Just wanting the enjoyment of holding her for the moment.
“What do we do now?” she questioned him quietly.
“What do you want to do, Dee?”
“Go home.” She didn’t hesitate in her answer, making
him smile.
“Then that’s what we’ll do.”
Seventeen
As they prepared to take flight, Dee sat in silence with one thought on her mind: How did she move forward?
Never in all the years she’d questioned where she belonged or why her father hated her, did she imagine the heartbreaking truth. It was shocking yet made a sick sort of sense. In Bradshaw’s shoes, could she have done what he did? Could she have raised another man’s child as her own? She felt like the answer should be simple considering her bond with Jaxson. She was willing to raise him as her own, but she was never betrayed the way Bradshaw was either.
Not condoning what he did, but she sort of understood his feelings towards her now. Growing up, she’d always thought it was a fault with her, and in a way it was. She was another man’s child after all.
Confusion encompassed her.
She and Dom had spent the previous night talking about everything and nothing at all. He asked her all kinds of questions about her mam and their relationship. He’d told her about his own parents. They’d been married for nearly forty years and happily resided in Florida. But they’d never delved too much into the two of them as a couple, and for that she was grateful. She needed a clear head to decide on where her life was going to go once the danger had passed.
She still carried uncertainty where their relationship was concerned. Everything had been moving at lightning-fast speed and high intensity, so she had to figure out what her genuine feelings were for them together.
She knew he could make her body sing a tune only he knew. He could make her heart beat faster than a runaway train. He took her mind to places she’d never even dreamed of before. The intensity in which he held her left her breathless with need.
But was what she was feeling something born out of gratitude or genuine affection?
Million-dollar question, Dee.
“Sleep, Princess,” Dom whispered in her ear.
And so she did.
*****