It was all very well and good for her to be excited, but exactly where in the neologism section of the thesaurus can I find the joke I assume she was making? I was willing to bet it wasn’t in the Britannica. Cracks were already starting to appear in my heart of glass.
“We’re gonna do this sideshow! No—maybe we should just call it the main event. The SOS Brigade presents The Greatest Laughs on Earth, a fresh new entertainment experience that will bring peace to the entire planet!”
Haruhi’s smile could’ve compressed the entire Taurus open star cluster—.
Her mouth opened so wide she could’ve swallowed the entire Red Sea—.
And in a high, clear voice, she proclaimed, “I now declare this strategy-planning meeting open!”
AFTERWORD
My apologies for having caused all this trouble. I’m Nagaru Tanigawa.
I should first extend my deepest regrets for the lengthy interval between the last volume and this one.
Although this book is a direct continuation of the story from The Dissociation, as regards the reality of the extreme delay in its delivery, I find I can offer absolutely no excuse.
To the many individuals involved in its production, and in particular to illustrator Noizi Ito, along with the many bookstore employees I’ve no doubt caused unspeakable inconvenience, I feel especially obliged to shout the following.
I am so sorry!
And above all, to the readers who have doubtless been waiting for the pathetic conclusion to this ridiculous work, I send ten billion apologies and a hundred billion thanks via neuro-telepathic transmission, broadcast at full power in all directions. They will bring good luck to anyone who receives them—thus is my completely baseless assertion.
In place of the author, Haruhi is also groveling. Hopefully you’ll let her off the hook with a mere body blow.
So this work, The Surprise of Haruhi Suzumiya, represents a direct continuation from the previous volume, Dissociation. My apologies if this is the case, but for those readers who have long since forgotten the events of Dissociation, I humbly suggest that a re-read of that volume may help you understand this one. I mean, it’s a bit of a pain, so you don’t have to, but if you did—if you would do me the honor—I personally would be happy enough to shed tears of joy, though I feel obligated to point out that it is absolutely not compulsory.
Now, if you’re wondering why this book is so late, to be completely honest, there’s no particular reason. There really isn’t, and that’s the problem. All I can say is that all of a sudden, I couldn’t do anything, and it even started to interfere with my regular life. People would ask me what the problem was, and since I didn’t know, trying to explain my inexplicable self to other people was the hardest thing of all.
No matter what I say, it will sound like an excuse. For example, my until-then-beloved computer started throwing up blue screens of death without any warning, and I would lose whole sentences right as I was in the middle of writing them, or I’d have strange nightmares that made it incredibly hard to wake up, or I’d realize I’d been watching analog TV all along without having been notified about the switch to digital—
See? Nothing but excuses. We humans certainly are full of excuses. If they were a little more interesting at least they’d be fodder for my writing.
The obvious deduction may well be that the sloth that has provided the underpinning for my life thus far finally caught up with me.
When I think about it, I really haven’t done anything worthy of praise in my entire life. All I seem to have are memories so humiliating they make me want to collapse in agony. I mean, I have to admit I’m a bit impressed that I resisted the temptation to smash my head to bits against a concrete wall, but let’s be honest—I just didn’t have the guts.
If you’ll excuse my insufferable rambling, I’d like to reminisce a little bit. It was some years ago now that I was fortunate enough to enjoy my debut as a novelist. Exactly which month it was has become a little vague by now, but it seems emotionally accurate to guess that it was around June 10, 2003. Even now I worry that I was more than a little trouble to the fine people of the editorial departments of Kadokawa Sneaker Bunko and Dengeki Bunko, which I’m sure I’ll never forget. As I think uncertainly back on it, I find myself again tempted to go charging into that concrete wall.
It’s thanks to them that the reality that my stories were being published felt exceedingly faint; and right about the time that The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and Gakko wo Deyo! 1 were going out into the world, I was already feeling boxed in by other things, which was fun in its own way. It was probably the most educational period in my life.
It seems likely that after having gotten my fill of having my capacity pushed right to its gasping limit, I immediately came up with the idea for The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya and wrote the series of stories that came bubbling up in its wake, which makes me think that my stance of “when in doubt about whether or not I can actually do this, just write everything” was mostly correct.
Speaking of Disappearance, did you go see the theatrical version?
It’s difficult to find the appropriate words to offer the production staff at Kyoto Animation for the amazing work they did. My head is bowed as though it has a one-ton weight on top of it. Words of thanks feel inadequate in response to my silly follow-up to Melancholy being made into a motion picture. Thank you all so very much. Surely no film could capture my delight. Please accept my humble apologies for being such a useless creator.
I may well be totally useless and weak-willed, but if my readers have enjoyed my works even a bit, I am fortunate indeed.
I plan to continue being a weirdo who writes weird things, so even as I hope you’ll not abandon me, and even as I will labor to fix the more troublesome aspects of my personality, I think it is time to bring this afterword to an end.
I hope we will meet again, someday, sometime, somewhere, somehow.
Until then!
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CONTENTS
COVER
TITLE PAGE
WELCOME
VOLUME 1 CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
VOLUME 2 CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
FINAL CHAPTER
EPILOGUE
AFTERWORD
COPYRIGHT
Copyright
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Suzumiya Haruhi no Kyōgaku copyright © Nagaru TANIGAWA 2011
First published in Japan in 2011 by Kadokawa Shoten Publishing Co., LTD., Tokyo. English hardcover/paperback translation rights arranged with Kadokawa Shoten Publishing Co., LTD., Tokyo, through Tuttle-Mori Agency, Inc., Tokyo.
English translation by Paul Starr
English translation copyright © 2013 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.
Cover © 2013 Hachette Book Group, Inc.
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at [email protected]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.
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The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.
First ebook edition: November 2013
ISBN 978-0-316-22860-2
For more about this book and author, visit Bookish.com.
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