by Beth Moore
We hear so much talk about the phases of grief: the shock, the anger, often depression, then, finally, acceptance ... if we're lucky. We're led to believe that acceptance of death is the final stage of grief, but if we're in Christ, the final stage has not come until we've allowed God to bring forth resurrection life and many seeds from the kernel of wheat that fell to the ground. Yes, we have to come to acceptance but not just acceptance of the death. Acceptance of the resurrection life. Don't stop until you experience it. Though it tarry, it shall come!
In chapter 20 of his Gospel, John gives his own account of the events that occurred early on the first day of the week. Again, we are pretty safe to assume that the disciple in the scene with Peter is John himself. Mary Magdalene went first to the tomb. When she found it empty, she went to tell the others.
We have no idea where Mary found Peter and John, but she found them together. As usual. They were dear friends, weren't they? They had most likely known one another all their lives. Since we so often see them paired without James, I wonder if Peter was closer to John's age than the older brother's. They'd known each other through the awkward years when their voices began to change and were probably already working together in Zebedee's fishing business. One of them grew a beard, in typical adolescent patches, before the other. Surely they teased each other about girls.
We don't know whether John was married, but without a doubt he celebrated heartily at his buddy's wedding supper. They walked away from their nets on the same day and followed this magnetic man from Nazareth. For the last three years they had lived the Great Adventure together. They had seen things people would not even believe. And now they had seen something they themselves couldn't believe. Their fearless leader beaten to a bloody pulp and nailed to a criminal's cross. Jesus was dead. And to top
it off, missing.
"They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don't know. .." Their feet began moving before their minds could think. They were running. Harder. Faster. Hearts pounding. Adrenaline pumping. Fear surging. Butterflies catching. "Where is He?" For crying out loud, "What is He? WHO is He?" So many questions. So many doubts. Flashes of hope. But why? It was hopeless after all. Wasn't it?
They had walked side by side for years. Now they ran side by side. I realize I'm reading something into the picture that wasn't intended by the author, but at this emotionally heightened moment in Scripture, I am amused at the man in John to incidentally tell us that he outran Peter. Ever competitive, aren't they? Then the same youth that outran Peter appeared to have chickened out on going into the tomb. Both instances seem to indicate his younger age. We're told in John 20:8, "Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside." Can you just imagine Peter saying, "Come on, John! It's OK. Mary was right. No one's here. But look at this!"? Strips of linen were lying there, and the one that had been wrapped around Jesus' head was folded up all by itself.
Now who in the world do you think folded up that napkin (v. 7 KJV)? If you figure Jesus probably rose right out of those grave clothes, I wonder if one of the angels God summoned to guard the tomb and tell the news had picked it up and folded it.
Peter later wrote of how the angels desired to understand the great salvation provided for humans (1 Pet. 1:10-12). As glorious as the celestial beings are, I don't think they can comprehend the greatness and grace of so radical a salvation. The angels were created to praise the very One that we rejected ... and killed.
Surely the angels were horrified that the Father didn't summon them to stop the madness. If the archangel Michael and the devil disputed over the body of Moses (Jude 9), can you even imagine the confrontation over this Body? The whole plan must have seemed preposterous to them. Two of them were assigned to watch over the body of the Beloved One. One at His head. One at His feet. Total silence. Not a twitch. Weeping endured for a long winter's night. Would joy ever come in the morning?
The Father had waited long enough. He didn't even let the sun come up. He created the day. He'd say when it was morning. After all, the darkness is light to Him (Ps. 139:12). Suddenly the Lord God Omnipotent raised His mighty arm and unleashed strength beyond comprehension. Somehow I don't think the lifeless body of Christ gradually grew warm. No, I'm convinced the blood flashed red-hot through His veins and He stood to His feet so fast the grave clothes couldn't stick to Him. Clothed in resurrection raiment, Christ Jesus the Savior of the world stepped out of the tomb before the stone had a chance to get out of the way.
According to Matthew 28:2, what happened next shook the ground. "A severe earthquake had occurred, for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven and came and rolled away the stone and sat upon it" (NASB). More than a few times I've been called the Drama Queen. May I have the honor of presenting to you His Truly, God Almighty, the King of Drama? Compared to Him, I'm nothing but a knot on a log. Yep, He's got the drama thing going, and I for one don't want to be caught sitting when a standing ovation is in order.
Meanwhile, back at John 20, Mary returned to the tomb after telling Peter and John. She tarried long enough to see the resurrected Lord Jesus face-to-face. How I thank God that He appointed His Son to bring such dignity to women. Especially one like me who had been so defeated and disturbed in her past. In a tender way, Mary was the very first one Christ sent forth to bring the best news of all: Jesus is alive! Oh, that we would not be like the stone. May we be moved every time the news hits us afresh.
Now picture the scene in John 20:19-20. Mary took the news just as Christ instructed. The clock ticked slowly through the daylight hours as the disciples tried to assimilate Mary's report. Somewhere in this time frame Jesus appeared to Peter in an encounter that I believe was so private, we are intentionally left without a single detail (1 Cor. 15:5). We have no reason to believe John had yet laid eyes on the resurrected Lord.
The disciples are gathered in a room "for fear of the Jews" (John 20:19). Imagine the situation. Feel the oppression of the fear of man in the air. Picture the bars across the doors and the captives inside who only a short time before had wielded power to cast out demons and heal the sick. Had they been stripped of their authority? Of their abilities? No, indeed. Powerlessness is always the message the enemy sends fear to bring.
Suddenly Jesus walked right through their barriers and appeared among them. I've been there. I bet you have, too. Like a father has compassion on children, so Jesus has compassion on us (Ps. 103:13). He knew what their finite minds needed, so He showed them His hands and side. Have you ever noticed how we constantly expect people to heal up from the beatings of life and lose their scars? I'm somehow comforted to know that Christ still has His. In a very real sense the scars from the wounds of the very friends that surrounded Him ... and all the rest of us He will ever call friend.
Picture the expressions on their faces. Feel the oppression lift in the glorious imposition of electric life. Now look around the scene of your imagination and find our friend John. Wait for a moment, even a few seconds, when Jesus' eyes may have fastened on him alone.
Somehow in my imagination, I see young John's eyebrows pinned to his hairline, eyes as big as saucers. I think he probably froze for a second until the love of Christ melted him like butter. Then I wonder if he broke out in such a toothy grin that Jesus wanted to laugh. Someone as young as John probably was not only thinking the same things as the others, he might have been thinking, perhaps even saying, "We won!" And indeed they had. They had won Christ.
Chapter 13
WHAT ABOUT HIM?
When Peter saw him, he asked, `Lord what about him?" (John 21:21)
One of the post-resurrection images of Christ I love most is in John 20:17. Jesus has to tell Mary Magdalene to peel herself from Him so both of them can do what God had called them to do. The moment she recognized Jesus, she obviously latched on to Him for dear life, as if to say, "Now that I've found You, I will never let You go!"
Although you and I have never seen Christ face-to-face, we're not alto�
�gether different. We sometimes receive a fresh revelation of Christ in a moment of crisis and don't want to budge from it for the rest of our days. Christ seems to say to us, "Yes, this revelation is a gift to you, but be careful not to get stuck here. Don't cling to your `sightings' of Me. Let those moments be fuel for your future. Walk by faith and not by sight in what I've called you to do. There's work to be done! Rest assured I'll always be with you because now that I've found you, I will never let you go."
I don't doubt that once they saw their resurrected Savior, the disciples wanted to hang on to Him just as tightly as did Mary Magdalene. They were just as unable. Acts 1:3 tells us Christ revealed Himself for forty days after He rose from the dead.
Come with me. Let's sit on the shore of the Sea of Galilee, also called the Sea of Tiberias, and watch one of the last encounters Christ appointed to the disciples before He returned with them to the Mount of Olives. Our eyes will be on the events recorded in John 21. Although the disciple-oriented spotlight seems to be on Peter, we will focus on John's role in the events described.
John 21:2 tells us that Simon Peter, Thomas, Nathanael, James, John, and two other disciples were all gathered in a fishing boat. My husband would tell you that seven men in your average boat is at least five too many, but Peter and the others had obviously returned to the commercial vessel where Peter had earned his living for years. He seems to have ascribed to this philosophy: when you don't know what to do, do what you used to do. Even though the disciples must have been ecstatic to have Christ in their midst, I believe He purposely let those days become an identity challenge for them. Notice Jesus didn't hang around with them every minute He was back. He had appeared to the disciples twice before this encounter (John 21:14).
The fact that Jesus didn't bind Himself to them during His brief post-resurrection tenure must have been confusing-to them. I'm not sure they knew how they fit into Christ's plans from this side of the grave. Surely the thought occurred to them, "What need does anyone powerful enough to walk out of a tomb have for the likes of us?" They didn't understand that Christ's primary purpose during those forty days was for people to understand that He was God. Keep in mind, Jesus had more on His agenda than appearing only to the apostles. First Corinthians 15:5-7 lets us know Jesus appeared to over five hundred disciples.
Psalm 46:10 tells us what to do when we're not sure where we fit in God's action plan. The psalm says, "Cease striving and know that I am God" (NASB).
Yep. Be still and know it ourselves. Don't default into our past. Don't jump the gun for our future. Just behold and know. Instructions will come when the time is right. In the meantime, being is so much harder than doing, isn't it? Thankfully, Jesus knew where to find His disciples anyway, and He interrupted their doing with His own being. John seemed to have a better grasp of what Christ had come to be than any of the others at this point. John is only attributed four words in this scene: "It is the Lord."
Oh, that you and I would come to recognize what is the Lord and what is not. The second John announced Jesus, Peter jumped from the boat and swam to Him with all his might. I realize our primary attentions are on John in this study, but I can't let this moment pass without putting the flashlight on one of Peter's sterling moments. In our Christian circles we so often surround ourselves with people of similar practice of faith. We have our unspoken codes. Spiritual practices that we consider acceptable. We also agree on things that are not. Things that are weird. Behaviors that are just ... well ... overboard. Then someone jumps ship and decides he or she doesn't care what the rest of us think. Nothing is going to get between him and Jesus. Glory! As much as I love John, in this scene I want to be Peter!
Actually, I remember well when I began to break the unspoken code of just how far my church compadres and I would go with this "spiritual thing." Years ago those closest to me charged me with going overboard far more disapprovingly than others. Do you know what, Beloved? I wouldn't climb back in that boat for anything. How about you? Have you jumped out of the boat of what is most comfortable and acceptable and decided you want Jesus even if you have to make a fool of yourself to get to Him? If not, are you ready? What's holding you back?
Let me warn you. Intimacy with Christ doesn't always feel warm and f.a.zy. Just ask Peter. That water was cold! This scene would have taken place during the latter part of our month of May. The days are very warm in that part of Galilee, but the temperature drops dramatically during the night. Mind you, this fishing trip took place before breakfast (John 21:12). No wonder the rest of the disciples followed in the boat! I believe Jesus esteemed Peter's impetuous determination to get to his Lord. I am also convinced that this act was an important part of Peter's restoration. Notice he didn't ask to walk on water. He was willing to dog paddle in ice water to get to Jesus this time.
I am convinced Peter's solo pursuit set the stage for Christ to single him out in the redemptive scene that followed. His leap from the boat may have suggested that at this point Peter truly loved Christ more than these. John 21:15-23 records the famous scene when Jesus recommissioned Peter after his denial. I love this scene because it represents something of a do-over. In verse 19 Christ told Peter, "Follow me!"
Three years earlier Peter heard the same words and, to his credit, he had done it. But he had done it in his own strength and with his own agenda. His own ambition. The result was "Woman, I don't know him" (Luke 22:57), and that was the last time Peter warmed himself by a fire.
Ambition could not supply the motivation to follow Jesus where Peter would have to go. In John 21 Jesus repeated the one motivation that would suffice. Jesus said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love Me?" (John 21:17).
Oh, beloved, can you see the significance? No other motivation will last! We might feed the sheep or serve the flock based on other motivations for a while, but only one thing will compel us to follow the Lord Jesus Christ faithfully to the death: love! No one had more spiritual tenacity than the apostle Paul, and he made no bones about what kept him on the path amidst unparalleled pain and persecution. In 2 Corinthians 5:14, he wrote, "The love of Christ controls us" (NASB). James 1:12 says the Lord has promised the crown of life "to those who love him."
You see, our callings may differ, but if we're going to follow Jesus Christ in the power of the crucified life, our compellings will be the same. Only love compels to the death. Dear one, life is hard. Opposition is huge. Circumstances will inevitably happen in all our lives that will defy all discipline, determination, and conviction. Love keeps burning when everything else disintegrates in an ashen heap. Pray for this one thing more than you pray for your next breath. I am convinced love is everything.
I wasn’t the first one convinced. I simply follow in a long line of believers who failed their way into the discovery that love is the highest priority and motivating force in the entire life of faith. Generations before any of us wised up, a young disciple named John was so drawn to Christ's discourse on love that he couldn't help but listen as Jesus and Peter walked away from the others to talk. I am convinced the conversation recorded in John 21:15-23 began in the group of eight. Perhaps in the course of the question and answer, Jesus quite naturally stood up, brushed Himself off, and took a few steps away from the small circle of men. Peter, unnerved by his own interpretation of the repetitive question, probably jumped to his feet and followed.
The New American Standard tells us that Peter was hurt because Jesus questioned his love a third time: "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Mind you, he was still drenched to the bone from his zeal. Jesus then prophesied the reason why Peter's love for Him would be so critical. Peter would be asked to glorify God by giving his own life. Only love would make him willing.
Then, as if to say, "Knowing all this and with your eyes wide open," Christ reissued the call, "Follow me!" Don't downplay it for an instant. The cost of the call was huge. We don't know what caused Peter to suddenly look behind him and see John following them. Perhaps J
ohn stepped on a branch that had fallen to the ground. Perhaps he groaned audibly when he heard Christ foretell his closest friend's future.
I don't believe John trailed them out of selfish curiosity. I think he sensed the enormity of the concept the risen Teacher was teaching through this emotional interchange. This was no tiptoed eavesdropping. I think he was drawn to the conversation like a magnet. I believe Scripture will prove that John, perhaps like no other disciple in that circle, assimilated the profound implications of what his beloved Savior was saying. "You are My called ones. You have tough futures ahead of you, but the glory God will gain will be immeasurable. Love is the only motivation that can afford this kind of cost."
When Peter saw John, he asked, "`Lord, and what about this man?"'
At times like these I wish we had the Bible in its completely inspired and original form on videotape! We would be far better equipped to interpret a scene accurately if we could see the expressions on the face of the speaker and hear his tone of voice. Since we have no such help, words like Peter's may have as many different interpretations as I have commentaries. I'm looking at two different commentaries right this moment, and each says something different about Peter's motivation for asking this question. Here's the good news: that means we can speculate without getting too far off base. What do you think was in Peter's voice? Do you think his question was out of deep concern for John as one of my commentaries supposes, or did it arise out of jealousy or some other negative emotion as the other suggests?