He had this one last night to show her. And he wasn’t going to screw it up.
Cameron looked up at her. Jackson was naked, and he was a mess.
He kissed the swell of her hips. “Shower?”
She smiled a little. “Sure.”
She followed him into the bathroom and leaned against the counter. She was biting her lower lip again.
“You okay?” he asked.
She nodded. “More than okay. I just didn’t realize sex could be like this.” She chuckled. “I’m not sure I can go back to a regular relationship.”
What the hell?
Cameron crossed his arms over his chest. “You think good sex and exploring what turns you on don’t go together with a regular relationship?”
Jackson shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve had a few relationships, and I certainly never had sex like this. Not even close.”
“And you’ve developed a theory based on those assholes?”
She pursed her lips.
“In my experience, guys either want sexy or they want a relationship. I’ve never been the sexy type.” She glanced away. “After my last boyfriend cheated on me, it made me wonder. So here we are. I get to see what it’s like to be the sexy type instead.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You like it?”
Jackson smirked. “Definitely has its advantages.”
Steam came from the shower, and Cameron felt the water with his hand. He stepped in and motioned for her to join him. Jackson entered the shower, her body skimming against his.
“Keep going,” he said, running his hands over her bare shoulders. “I’m curious to hear your theories on what men want.”
“You don’t agree? Men want to have lots of sex with a certain kind of woman. Then they settle down with another kind of woman.” She tilted her head. “The reason I’m here is because of your reputation with that first kind of woman, right?”
“What my reputation is and what I want are two different things.”
“You don’t want to pick up women in hotel bars for sex?”
Cameron sighed. “You want to hear what I think men want?”
Jackson swallowed. “I’m not sure, but go ahead.”
“I think men want a lot of hot sex, and if it’s in a relationship, all the better. But that’s hard to find. So some men go for the relationship and compromise on the sex.” He tucked her long damp hair behind her ear and caressed her cheek. “And other men go for the sex, knowing something is missing. Hoping that at some point he meets a woman who can show him what that something is.”
He found her mouth, wet and warm, and he kissed her. He ran his hands down the curve of her waist and up again, and he nuzzled her cheek with his chin.
“Maybe that second kind of man doesn’t even know that’s what he’s looking for until he finds it,” he whispered. “But once he finds it, he doesn’t want to go back.”
She stilled, and her expression was unreadable. But there was one little tell that gave him hope that she was just as twisted up about this as he was. His hand stopped over the furious pulse at the base of her neck.
The familiar desire for her was returning, but he wasn’t giving in to it yet. Losing himself inside her wasn’t enough. He wanted something beyond that tonight.
He didn’t move. “What do you think about my theory?”
“I’ll have to think about it,” she said. “Now I’d like to wash you. Slowly.”
Her mouth curved into a lazy, seductive grin. She reached for the soap and rubbed it between her hands under the water. She set it back on the shelf and began with his shoulders. In slow circles, she washed his arms, her soft fingers gliding over his skin. Her eyes had a look of wonder in them as she traced the lines of muscle and trails of hair. How these things held her attention was a mystery when she had her own gloriously curvy body, but he wasn’t going to point that out right now.
She turned for more soap and worked her way down, across his chest and over the tense muscles of his stomach. And lower.
Heaven. He was in heaven.
He grabbed on to the shower wall to steady himself. She circled closer as he grew harder. She gave his cock a few sudsy strokes, and he tipped his head back and groaned.
All his frustrations and self-recriminations from the night were gone. The water ran down her arms and over her magnificent breasts.
Cameron swallowed hard. “My turn.”
He soaped up his hands and smiled. He started at her feet and worked his way up the swell of her thighs and hips, around her beautiful rear and narrow midriff. And her breasts. Goddamn, he was obsessed. He tore his eyes away. But after a few sweeps of her smooth arms, he was done with the washing. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on hers. He let his fingers glide over her back, her waist, memorizing each curve, as they stood under the faucet. She rested her head on his chest, and he closed his arms around her. “Let me take you to bed, Jackson.”
He turned off the shower, grabbed a towel and wrapped her in it. After drying himself off a bit, he took her hand. “Ready?”
She didn’t move. She looked up at him hesitantly. “There’s a lot of things we haven’t tried yet.”
She wanted to play again, and his dick didn’t miss the message. But he wanted more than just playing around.
He shook his head. “Not tonight.”
“Tonight is all we have.” Her eyes seemed to glaze over, like she was already halfway through her fantasy. Which he was not giving in to.
Cameron put his hand on her cheek. “You miss your plane tomorrow and stay with me, and we’ll try whatever you want. We’ll try things you’ve never even thought of.” He brushed his lips over hers. “But not tonight. If this is our last night, we’re done with fantasies. I told you before. This is real.”
Her eyes widened. The creases still lined her forehead, but he waited her out.
Finally she nodded. “Okay.” She walked over to the bed and sat down primly on the edge. Her wet hair dripped down her body, and she shook it behind her shoulders. “So, what do we do?”
Cameron laughed. “You’ve never had vanilla sex?”
Jackson rolled her eyes. “Until two weeks ago, that’s all I’d ever had. After I leave this apartment, it’s probably all I’ll do for the rest of my life.”
Cameron sat down next to her on the bed. Their bodies brushed against each other’s, but he didn’t touch her. He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. Here lay the biggest problem. She still thought what she felt was about sex. Because she was trying things she had never tried. But he had played more than his share of dirty games before. He had played enough to know that no game was enough to make him feel like he did on the Opera House dance floor with Jackson in his arms. And he had felt that with all of his clothes on.
But he couldn’t explain that. He had to show her instead.
Cameron leaned over and traced Jackson’s wet hair down her back. “I think vanilla could be just as good as any game if we do it right.”
“Is that so?” Her voice was soft and dreamy.
“Let’s find out.” He nodded to the pillows. “Come lie down with me.”
He lay on his side, and she settled against him. She looked at him expectantly, as if she had no idea what to do next. Maybe she didn’t. And maybe he didn’t know what he was getting into, either.
Cameron found her hand. Was it trembling? He brought it to his mouth for a soft kiss and placed it on his waist. He cupped her cheek with his hand and kissed the corner of her mouth, then her bottom lip. He slid his hand down her shoulder and back up behind her neck as he opened his mouth and found her tongue. Her fingers tightened around his waist, so he did it again. She pulled him against her and rocked her hips. He twitched and ached, and she rocked again. Her round breasts pressed against his chest, and he cupped one with his hand, squeezing as he deepened the kiss. She
moaned and sighed, moving against him, setting his body on fire.
He rolled her over onto her back, spreading her legs with his knees. He settled onto his elbows and caught her gaze. And held it. His mind reeled through all the things he couldn’t say. That this had somehow become more than just a complicated mistake. That he was starting to think his own ten-year plan included her. That he couldn’t imagine a life where he never did this again.
And then she moved. All thoughts disappeared except one. Jackson. Cameron couldn’t hold it together any longer. He ran his length over every wet, delicious fold. Her eyes grew hazy with pleasure, but she didn’t look away. It was incredible. This time he wasn’t going to bury his head between her legs or tease her ass or do any of the other nasty, hot shit to make her come. This time, it was just the two of them, face-to-face. And if she could just see what he was feeling right now, everything might turn out right.
He glided along her slippery core and restrained the urge to move faster. He wasn’t going to come on her stomach, no matter how good it would be. She widened her legs, opening herself to him, and she tilted her hips, meeting each of his movements. Her breaths got shorter and louder, and she chanted his name, how good he felt, how big he was.
Something inside him was about to explode.
“Now, Cameron.” She gasped, her eyelids fluttering. “I want you now.”
He stilled. “You can have me anytime you want, Jackson,” he breathed. “Anytime.”
He pushed back and grabbed a condom from inside his nightstand. He rolled it on as she watched, her mouth parted. She was so beautiful. He had to make her see just how right they were together. If he could get this one last night together right, maybe she would stay a little longer.
He pressed his tip at her entrance and slipped his arms under her shoulders.
“Yes, Cameron,” she whispered, moving her hips.
He buried his head in the warm, lush scent of her neck and, slowly, he pushed in. At her sounds of pleasure, he pushed deeper and deeper. Finally, he was buried inside her. And he could have stayed there forever, on the edge of infinite bliss. But Jackson wanted more.
So he gave her one hard thrust, and she cried out.
“Vanilla feels good to me right now.” He caught her earlobe between his teeth. “What do you think?”
“Yes.” She sighed. He gave her another unyielding thrust. “Yes. Yes.”
He moved inside her, setting a slow, relentless pace. She matched his rhythm, urging him on faster, harder. Yes, yes. Her voice echoed inside him, over and over. Cameron bit his tongue, distracting himself from the urge to come. He held her face in his hands and looked down at her, giving her everything.
“I’m so close, Cameron,” she whispered.
He reached between them and found her clit. Her mouth fell open and he swirled his fingers firmer. She clawed at his back as he drove into her steadily. Her body shook and clenched under him as she fell apart in his arms, calling his name.
“Oh, God, Cameron. Yes.”
At the sound of his name, his whole body exploded. He came in long spasms, emptying inside her. He held her tightly as his hips moved against hers, over and over in the most primitive urge to drive himself deeper, deeper inside her forever.
Jackson melted under him, her gaze dreamy and unfocused. It was them, together, that made her look that way. Did she understand that now?
She stroked his arm, pressing her fingers against his muscles.
“You’re amazing,” Jackson whispered. “I still can’t get over it, and I don’t think I ever will.”
She used the word will. Did she imagine a scenario where they were together?
Cameron smiled. “You really know how to make a man feel good.” He wove his hand into her damp hair. “Just the way you’re looking at me right now. I feel like my heart’s going to burst.”
The corners of her mouth turned up, slowly spreading into a smile. She looked genuinely surprised. “You know, you’re good at keeping these kinds of things to yourself. I can never read you.”
He blinked down at her, registering her comment. Did she not understand that he was affected, too? He tried for the best answer he could come up with.
“Actions speak louder than words, right?”
Jackson laughed. “Are we talking about actions in bed?”
“Yes, we are.” He bent down and brushed his lips against her. “You need me to spell it out for you?”
She nodded. “Humor me.”
He pulled out and rolled out of bed to throw away the condom. She didn’t move, but she followed him with her eyes. He slid back over her, resting on his elbows.
He brushed his thumb along her bottom lip. “This is good between us. Really good. And not just in bed. So don’t go. Stay here in Sydney with me.”
She puffed out a breath and looked away. “Even if I wanted to stay, I have to go back. I have a job and an apartment. And a ten-year plan.”
Cameron’s heart gave a surge. Not the answer he was looking for, but maybe there was hope. She had thought this through. Which meant maybe she had considered staying.
“A plan to quit your job and travel?” he asked.
“I just want to explore a little,” she said. “Travel and work in new places, that kind of thing. But first I need to get myself on better financial footing, pay off my student loans. Someday.”
He raised an eyebrow. She gave him a wry smile.
“Good things come to those who wait, right?” she added. “My mother’s philosophy.”
“Did it work for her?”
Jackson snorted. “Not really. Which is why she wants me to firm up my plans.”
“How much money do these plans involve?”
“I’m still working that part out.” Jackson frowned.
“Maybe you’ve waited long enough, Jackson,” he said slowly. “Maybe it’s time to stop waiting and start doing the things you really want to do.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Give up my hard-won apartment and my job to travel until the money ran out?”
“I’d give you a job,” he said.
Jackson laughed. “Was that an interview the other day in your office?”
“If you want it to be.” He leaned down to kiss her neck. “But I’d hire you even without the extra services.”
“Good to know.”
He cupped her face in his hands so she was looking at him. “I’m serious, Jackson.”
She blinked at him, and for a moment her eyes welled up.
“I can’t just abandon my life in New York. Not right now, when my only Plan B involves moving back in with my mother.” She shuddered. “Maybe I’ll come back sometime and visit. When I can afford to take some time off.”
He shook his head slowly. “Not good enough.”
“Just pick up and go? That is what my mother would call completely unrealistic thinking.” She brushed her fingers over his jaw. “I have monthly payments and no real savings. I’d be completely dependent on you.”
Cameron shook his head. “It doesn’t have to be that way.”
She was silent for a while, her fingers lingering on his jaw. “Maybe you could come to New York instead.”
He froze. He should have prepared for this question, but he hadn’t. The board must have mentioned that he never traveled. Cameron closed his eyes.
“I can’t,” he said flatly. He tamped down the panic that came from even thinking about that last time. Cameron took a deep breath. “Look, even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t make it there. When I flew here to Sydney, I went a little crazy. If Simon hadn’t been there to talk me down, I would have been led off in handcuffs.”
“Oh. I’m sorry,” she whispered. But there wasn’t a hint of pity in her voice. A crease formed between her eyebrows. “Is that why you don’t go to board meetings?”
Cameron
sighed. “Partly. But the other reason is true, too. I’d rather not be in the same room as my father.”
“But the no-flying thing isn’t public, right?” she said quietly.
He gave her a tight smile. “Bad for business.”
So there it was. He had laid it all out for her and gotten his answer. She wasn’t staying in Sydney, and he was too messed up to be able to follow her back.
Her fingers moved to his neck, and she played with his hair.
“What happened? I mean, what made you lose it?” she asked. Then she shook her head. “Never mind. You don’t have to talk about it.”
But she deserved to know. Cameron rolled on his back and looked up at the ceiling. “On our last mission, the plane was hit. Some of us got out, but others?” He shook his head. “Every time I think about flying, I flash to those seconds when the plane crashed into the ground. The other side went down first and killed the two guys closest to the rear. I was sitting on the other side, watching... Why the hell did I make it and not those guys? One of them was married with a kid and another on the way. His family needed him. I was a young, cocky shit, and I didn’t need to live. But I did.”
Jackson slowed her movements. “I’m glad you did. Really glad.”
Those words felt good. He glanced down at her and frowned. “Just about everyone who goes to war has a story like that. It’s nothing special.”
“That doesn’t make it easier,” she whispered. She propped herself up on her arm. Her soft breaths tickled his chest, and he couldn’t stop thinking about how warm and perfect her body was against his. It made everything just a little better. And her soft, husky voice was already getting him hard again.
Cameron reached out to find her hand, and he laced his fingers in hers.
She leaned forward for another soft kiss. “If this really is our last night, let’s make it good.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
JACKSON SANK INTO an airport security seat and slipped her shoes back on. She hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before, and her mind didn’t seem to be functioning properly. Questions like Why the hell did you walk out of Cameron’s apartment this morning? and When did you get to be such a mess over a man? had been running through her mind for hours.
Best Laid Plans Page 14