“Yeah, I did—after Sophia, the assistant coach, gave me a pep talk. And I was the pits! I don’t have any talent for diving. If I can’t dive, and I can’t be a gymnast, I don’t know. I better forget about being an athlete altogether.”
“Whoa!” Valerie said, holding up her hands. “That sounds pretty extreme. Look, you had a bad day, and now you’re overreacting, that’s all.”
Traci laughed, but without humor. “I had a ‘bad day’? After all my years on the balance beam, it turns out I’m afraid of heights! On a one-meter board! What’ll I do on a three-meter board? Or a ten-meter platform? That’s not a ‘bad day,’ Val. That’s a total disaster!”
When Valerie started to laugh, Traci couldn’t believe it.
“I’m sorry, Trace,” Valerie said, still chuckling. “I’m just remembering when we started out in gymnastics class. We were terrified! Vaulting over a horse scared us, getting on a balance beam, even one that was barely above the floor, scared us! I started to cry, and you stood like a statue. Remember?”
Traci couldn’t help smiling. “Yeah, we were pretty pathetic. But we were little kids. Four years old! Sure, we were scared. I’m twelve now, and I shouldn’t feel that way.”
Valerie shrugged. “Why not? You’re doing something new. Did you say anything to Margo or Sophia about being scared?”
“Well, Sophia told me that most divers are that way at first,” Traci admitted. “But Sophia’s nice, and I think she only wanted to make me feel better.”
“Well, I think you just have to stick with it for a while and you’ll get past this. I know you, and I’m sure you can do whatever it takes.” She finished her soda and grabbed her bag.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” she said. “I know a girl who’s a student of Margo’s, a girl in my class named Carly Freed. She said she’d be happy to talk to you if you like. Want to call her when we get home?”
Traci agreed. When they got through to Carly, they made arrangements to eat lunch together at school the next day.
Traci’s mind wandered throughout classes the next morning. What would Carly have to say about Margo?
At lunchtime, Traci and Valerie grabbed a table. Valerie scanned the room, then pointed at a tall girl with dark hair. “That’s her. Hey, Carly!” she shouted.
Traci recognized her as the first girl to speak up to defend the coach when Traci had bad-mouthed her. From Carly’s expression, it was clear that she recognized Traci, too. But she said nothing about it. The three girls spread their lunches out and started eating.
“Listen,” Traci said as soon as she could, “I want to say that I was out of line the other day. What I said about Margo, that was wrong.”
Carly seemed to relax. “Okay. Just about everyone who works with Margo thinks she’s pretty great, including me. You’ll see for yourself, eventually.”
Traci sighed. “If there is an ‘eventually.’ I’m not sure there will be.”
“How come? Are you thinking of quitting already?” asked Carly.
Traci shook her head and said, “Maybe I’ll get thrown out. Diving may not be my sport.”
Carly stared at Traci. “But you just started! How can you tell so soon?”
Traci explained about her fear on a one-meter springboard. “That isn’t the kind of thing a good diver has to worry about, right?”
Carly laughed. “Wrong! Totally wrong!”
Valerie flashed Traci a grin. “See?”
“I’ve known maybe a hundred divers,” Carly said, “and most of them were frightened when they first started diving. I think it’s the way most people are. The first time I got on a diving board, I couldn’t move at all! I wanted to climb back down the ladder and go home.”
“How old were you?” Traci asked.
“Eight. But it doesn’t matter,” Carly said. “There are divers in my group who are still scared every time they dive. And they’re our age. They manage to deal with it somehow.”
Traci felt a little better. “What about you? Are you still scared?”
“Not as much as I once was. But I still get butterflies. Especially on a platform, for some reason.” Carly leaned forward and looked hard at Traci.
“If you think that being scared is enough of a reason to quit diving, you’re wrong. And if you think that Margo is going to give up on you, you’re wrong again. If Margo thinks you can be a diver, she’ll stand by you. And if she told you she thinks you can be a good diver, believe it.”
“That’s what I’ve been telling her,” Valerie said, waving her hands in the air. “Maybe she’ll believe it coming from you, since you’ve been there.”
“How did you get used to diving when you were afraid?” Traci asked.
Carly thought for a moment before replying. “The more I dived, the less the fear got to me. It didn’t go away, but it changed, somehow. Now the butterflies give me a kind of jolt, a charge of, I don’t know, excitement and anticipation. It’s like my nerves are tingling and every part of me is focused on the dive. Does that make sense?”
Traci nodded slowly. “You know what? It does. It’s the way I used to feel right before starting my routine on the balance beam. I felt electric.”
“Exactly!” Carly said, grinning.
Valerie laughed and turned to Carly. “Trace was an awesome gymnast, until she suddenly got so tall and her knees started giving her trouble. She was almost as good as me!”
“Almost?” Traci yelled in mock outrage. “You never saw the day you could do a balance beam routine as good as mine!”
“Well, with my new coach, I’ll ace the balance beam soon. I bet he’s as good as Margo,” Valerie answered.
“Margo’s something else,” Carly said, the admiration in her voice clear. “And, Traci, you’ll find out that she really cares about everyone she works with. I can’t really say more than that, because Margo doesn’t like us to brag about her. But she’d do anything for us—and we’d do anything for her.”
Traci sat back and thought about Carly’s devotion to the coach. Margo must have done something to deserve it. Then and there, she told herself that she’d master her fear of the board and her anxiety over Margo somehow. And that she’d keep on with her diving.
9
During the next month, Traci found that Carly had been right. Her fear was slowly changing into that electric kind of jolt they’d talked about. Traci never relaxed completely on a springboard, but maybe that was a good thing. It was what Margo had said early on: Being nervous meant you paid attention more—and weren’t as likely to mess up or get hurt.
At the same time, her diving improved. A week after learning simple forward dives, Traci began working on backward dives. She started with a simple backward dive in the straight position.
“As you jump,” Sophia said, “arch your back and neck to see the water as you enter.”
On Traci’s first try, she didn’t keep her body straight and hit the water with a huge splash. But she didn’t get upset. She knew that she wasn’t expected to be perfect right away. She climbed out of the pool, looked at Sophia, and said, “Oops.”
Sophia laughed. “You arched your back, but you didn’t keep those muscles tense, so you bent into a sort of tuck. Keep your muscles tight and stay in a straight line this time.”
Traci got better until, on her last try, she was almost vertical on her entry. Sophia’s grin showed Traci that she had done well.
Traci then went on to the backward dive in a tuck position. “This is tougher,” said Sophia. “As you jump, you have to lean away from the board a little to get clear of it when you come down. On the way up, bring your knees to your chest and grab your shins; then straighten and use a ‘lateral entry.’ That means—”
“I know,” Traci cut in, smiling. “I stretch my arms to the side and then overhead in my come-out. Right?”
“You’re getting to be an expert,” Sophia replied. “Let’s see the dive.”
Standing with her back to the pool, Traci made sure that her heels overhung
the end of the board. She closed her eyes and visualized the dive: the tuck, the come-out, and the entry. She bent her knees and jumped. The dive was far from perfect—she hit the water before her hands came together—but it wasn’t bad. The next attempts were better.
The backward dive in the pike position was less trouble for Traci. “These backward dives are easier for me than the forward ones,” she told Sophia. “Is that weird, or normal?”
“Divers often have less trouble with backward dives,” Sophia said. “Maybe because you don’t have to worry about an approach.”
The same day Traci started on backward dives, she added a new skill to her frontward dives: somersaults. As a gymnast, Traci figured that somersaults wouldn’t be too hard for her, and she was partly right. She was all right doing a frontward one-and-a-half somersault dive in the tuck position. Traci was supposed to do a complete spin in the air and come down to enter the water headfirst. Sophia had her lean forward as she left the board to get the somersault started. Traci picked it up quickly.
The same dive in the pike position, however—spinning with her legs straight and bending only at the waist—was harder. Sophia said, “You need more forward lean, and try to get higher off the board.”
After a bad dive in which she hit the water before coming out of the pike, Traci got better.
“Want to try two and a half somersaults?” Sophia asked.
Traci felt confident. “Why not?” But when she tried it, she lost sight of the water and hit the surface flat on her back. The mistake bothered her more than the pain.
“How do you keep track of where you are when you’re spinning like that?” she asked Sophia.
“It’s called ‘visual spotting,’” Sophia said. “The idea is to pick out something that you can see each time you spin around.” She pointed to a clock on the wall facing the springboard. “Use the clock. Each time you see it, you’ve completed another somersault. When you’ve done your last one, it’s time for your come-out.”
Traci looked at the clock. “I’ll try.” Sure enough, she found that watching for the clock as she turned helped keep her from getting lost. But she still didn’t have enough time to straighten out before reaching the water.
“You need more lean,” Sophia said, “and you need to get more spring from your legs when you leave the board.”
On her fifth attempt, Traci bent her knees and sprang upward as hard as she could. She had enough lift to finish her come-out and hit the water with her body in a straight line.
But Traci couldn’t do a two-and-a-half somersault dive in the pike position. She couldn’t finish the spins in time, even after several attempts.
“It’s okay,” said Sophia. “You’re doing great! Margo has exercises to strengthen your legs and give you extra lift.”
Margo came to see Traci’s progress at every session. She would always give Traci some pointers for her to work on. Traci started writing them in a notebook and studied it every day. Margo never praised Traci, but Sophia provided plenty of support.
Several sessions later, Traci began working on reverse and inward dives. Though Traci was more self-assured now, she found these dives scary because she had to tumble toward the board instead of away from it.
In reverse dives, the diver faces the pool but does backward somersaults. For inward dives, the diver’s back is to the pool and she does forward somersaults. Either way, Traci worried that she might bang her head against the edge of the board. She said this to Sophia when the coach described the dives.
Sophia said, “Most divers worry about that at first. But when you come off the board, your momentum carries you away from the edge so that you aren’t going to collide. Watch.”
For the first time, Sophia actually demonstrated dives to Traci. She started with a reverse one-and-a-half somersault in a tuck position. She did an approach and hurdle. As she sprang from the board, she did a tight backward roll, coming out and entering the water with barely any splash. Traci noticed two things: first, that Sophia was a really great diver and second, that Sophia missed the edge of the board by a couple of feet.
“Awesome!” Traci whispered. “I didn’t know how good you are!”
Sophia smiled as she dried herself off. “See how far I was from the board? Also, I arched my back as I started up, which got me into the somersault. Now I’ll do an inward one-and-a-half somersault in the pike position.”
Sophia stood at the end of the board with her back to the pool and her heels off the board’s edge. Bending her knees deep and swinging her arms up, she jumped high off the board and outward. She bent at the waist and kept her legs straight until her forehead almost touched her shins—a perfect pike—then spun in a forward somersault, toward the board. But, as with the reverse dive, she missed the edge by plenty, straightened into a beautiful come-out, and plummeted into the water smoothly. Traci and the other girls applauded. It was an amazing dive.
Traci began working on inward and reverse dives and soon got over the fear she had felt. It was clear that if she took the time to visualize each dive before she started it she’d stayed out of danger. She was far from perfect, but she sensed that she was making progress.
Traci was now doing four kinds of dives: forward, backward, inward, and reverse. She had learned the straight, tuck, and pike positions. She was managing pretty well with one-and-a-half somersault dives and improving with two-and-a-half somersaults. Thanks to Margo’s leg exercises, which Traci did every day, her legs were getting noticeably stronger and she was able to get more height when she left the board.
“You’re not ready for three-and-a-half somersaults,” Sophia said, “but you will be before too long. I’d like you to start working on twists. But before you do, I want to see you do some work on the trampoline. Put on your sweats and meet me in the exercise room.”
A somersault involves “rolling” forward (or backward), while a twist is like a dancer’s pirouette or a figure skater’s spin on an ice rink. The most difficult dives combine somersaults and twists. These dives score the most points when divers do them well, but they are also the ones that are most likely to be done badly.
Traci wasn’t worried about twists. She was comfortable with them from gymnastics. Some of her balance beam dismounts and some of her vaults had included twists. She knew how to get a twist started by turning her upper body to the left or right while she was in the air.
As Traci warmed up on the trampoline in the exercise room, Sophia came in with Margo. Traci felt a tingle of nervousness, which always happened when she knew Margo was watching her.
Margo didn’t say anything as Traci went through some maneuvers on the trampoline that included twists and somersaults. She did single and double somersaults with twists. At Sophia’s request, she then did somersaults with one and a half and two full twists. Although Traci hadn’t done this kind of thing in some time, she felt at ease doing it—or she would have, if Margo hadn’t been following every move with that sharp, critical expression on her face.
When Traci had finished, Sophia said, “Give us a minute, Trace.”
She and Margo moved away and talked for a minute. Then they approached Traci.
Margo said, “Traci, you are finished with this group.”
Traci stared at the coach. Was it possible that Margo was kicking her out?
“Starting next time,” Margo went on, “you will be working with me and the more advanced girls.”
Sophia beamed at Traci, who felt like she had just won a gold medal.
10
Traci couldn’t wait to tell Valerie about her promotion. Since Valerie had started with her new coach, the two friends hadn’t seen much of each other outside of school. But Valerie was in when Traci called that evening, and she invited Traci over after dinner.
As soon as the girls were in Valerie’s room, Traci burst out with her good news. Valerie smiled, but the smile was weak.
“Hey, great, Trace. Congratulations. I’m really happy for you.”
T
raci said, “I’ll see Carly more now. Of course, I’ll also see more of Margo—in fact I’ll see her all the time, because Sophia mostly works with the younger divers, but actually, I can handle Margo. The main thing is, I’ve been making good progress.”
“Definitely,” Valerie said, and looked out the window.
Traci looked closely at her friend. “Val, what’s going on? Are you okay?”
Valerie sighed and flopped back on her bed. “I’m all right. I mean, I’m not sick or anything. But I’m not doing so great lately.”
“Why?” Traci asked. “Don’t tell me it’s your new coach! I thought he was supposed to be fantastic! You mean he isn’t?”
“Oh, he’s okay, but I’m not sure how good I am,” Valerie said. “The other people in this class are unbelievably good, and I don’t know if I can cut it. I’m not as great as I used to think I was.”
Traci shook her head. “I don’t believe it! You’re a fantastic athlete! You were the best one in our class by a mile!”
Valerie stared up at the ceiling. “Yeah, right… our class. But that was just a bunch of kids. I see that now. In this group, I’m at the bottom. They do things I don’t believe I can ever do. It’s been… I don’t know what it’s been. I figured I’d always be in control, that nothing would ever get me down. Well, guess what? I was wrong.”
“Wait a second!” Traci stood up and looked down at her friend. She’d never seen Valerie look depressed or beaten until now. “Remember a few weeks ago? I said that I was going to quit, and you told me to hang in there, that I wasn’t giving myself a fair chance? Does that sound familiar? Because here we go again, except now, you’re playing my part.”
Valerie shook her head. “This is different. You were starting in a brand-new sport. I’m doing what I’ve been doing all my life! I’m just finding out I’ve been clueless all this time! Now that I compare myself to first-class athletes, I see I’m nothing special.”
“I don’t believe it!” Traci insisted. “You say my case was different. It was in some ways, but in other ways, no. The fact is that you made a big jump, too, just like I did.
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