by Anya Wylde
He remained in the chair, his legs straight up and waving in the air. He had banged his head on the ground, though the thick carpet cushioned his fall.
The duchess snapped out of her trance and rushed to him. Catherine came to his other side, both of them speaking at once.
“I am fine,” he muttered.
“Your mother just wanted you to know that you have chosen a wonderful bride, and one day she will save you from hanging yourself from a chandelier. You should not contemplate such thoughts … oh, my!” she trailed off, staring at something between his legs.
For the first time, he became aware of a cool breeze in the area where the legs of his breeches met. With growing horror, he realised that his crown jewels were hanging out in the open air, since his pants along with his unmentionables had ripped down the centre.
The duchess was staring right at it with a look of pure admiration.
Catherine leaned over to see what was fascinating her stepmother so much when her eyes fell on the source. She clapped her hand to her mouth unable to look away.
He squeezed his eyes shut, aware of the spectacle he made. He could not believe that Catherine was seeing him in such an undignified position. His legs flapping in the air, his vulnerable nether regions exposed. On top of that, his brain seemed to defy his command to bring his legs back together.
The sound of the opening door snapped Catherine to her senses, and she jumped up and ran out of the room.
Lord Raikes peeked at the door to see who had arrived to witness his humiliation.
The duke stood staring at the scene, and behind him entered Mrs Barker, Prudence, Mr Barker, and Emma. He groaned. It seemed everyone was to witness his embarrassment. He did the only thing he could. He closed his eyes and pretended to be knocked out.
“His chair tipped over. I think he hit his head. He was fine a moment ago, but he seems to have lost consciousness,” said the duchess worriedly.
“He needs to be taken to his room. I will call for the doctor,” the duke replied. He turned to Pickering and issued orders.
Soon a few strange voices spoke above Lord Raikes. Help had arrived to carry him to his rooms. He had managed to pull his legs together when he had pretended to swoon. Now they hung limply to his side as he maintained the façade of being unconscious.
“Take his leg, Pickering, and be careful not to jar him. You, Davy, take his other leg, and you there, hold on to his shoulders. Now, on the count of three, lift him. One, two and … three!”
There was dead silence in the room for a minute. The two men had individually taken hold of a leg each of Lord Raikes and lifted him. The result was that his legs were split apart; hence, once more airing his unmentionables to the goggle eyed spectators.
The duke quickly blocked the view from the ladies, but it was too late. They had all got an eyeful.
“Err … Pickering … err … it would be better if you hold both his legs together, and Davy can hold him under the knees,” the duke muttered.
Lord Raikes was placed back on the ground, and this time his modesty was preserved as he was taken to his rooms.
“I did not get a good look,” Prudence whispered to her mother.
“Magnificent,” Mrs Barker replied, and then frowned. ”What did you not get a look at?”
“His face, of course, was he very white?” she invented quickly.
“No, he looked fine.”
“Then what was … magnificent?” she asked her mother slyly.
“The duke … and the way he took command, what else you silly girl?” replied Mrs Barker. After all, Prudence had learnt the art of deceiving from an old hand.
Chapter 22
The earl had tears streaming down his face, “I cannot believe you actually searched me out to tell me this. It could not have been that bad. I am sure the main bits were hidden.”
Lord Raikes smiled ruefully. He had come looking for the earl as soon as he was pronounced healthy by the physician.
“Every little bit was waving out there. My pants were split neatly in the middle, and I felt decidedly chilled in that area.”
The earl dissolved into helpless laughter.
“Laugh at my expense, though Emma had a good look as well. You won’t be pleased when she compares our assets and finds you wanting.”
“I challenge you! Pull your pants down now, and we shall see who has the bigger …”the earl spluttered to a halt.
A gasp had sounded behind them cutting the earl short. They both whirled around to find a housemaid staring at them in shock.
“Err … it was not how it sounded. I know it sounded bad, but it is not as you think, Maria.”
“Now I know why you ignored my advances, Shufflebottom. You should have told me that you liked the other sort. I wouldn’t have wasted me time.” She glared in annoyance and strode back indoors.
“Stop laughing, we both are even now,” the earl grumbled, “I have an appointment with the blackmailer in ten minutes,” he added.
“Shall I accompany you?” Lord Raikes asked, quickly sobering.
“No, I will tell you what occurs later. You should go back inside.”
“Be careful.”
“Of an old woman?” he scoffed, turning on his heels.
***
The earl found a branch to sit on and prepared to wait. It was almost half an hour past the appointed time when Lady Babbage arrived.
“I will get to the point. I will give you a day and one whole night to accomplish the task. If you fail, then tomorrow after dinner I will tell the earl everything,” Lady Babbage said as soon as she met him.
“What will you tell him?” the earl asked.
“Why, that you are not who you seem and that you are having an affair with his fiancé. He will choose to believe me, for young men in love are prone to be jealous and think the worst of women, no matter how innocent.”
“I see, what do you want me to do?”
“Clean out the duke’s safe and go easy on Joe.”
“Joe? The under-gardener?” he asked in surprise.
“Yes, and give him more free time. I need him.”
“So, Joe works for you,” he mused.
She did not reply.
“Why don’t you ask Joe to steal the duke’s valuables?”
“He is more use to me than you are. If you get caught, then it’s your word against mine. Who do you think the duke will believe? As for Joe, I cannot afford to have him shipped off to the continent. I have bigger plans for him.”
He realised that she had a bigger hold over Joe than over him. He would commit fouler deeds for her than the earl ever would. He could easily disappear, since she was not aware of his identity, but poor Joe was obviously trapped.
“I am afraid you will be disappointed. I am not going to clean out the duke’s safe. I would rather you tell the earl whatever you wish. That seems to me the less dangerous option.”
Her eyes flashed in anger. She had not expected to be thwarted.
“You will live if you are caught stealing, even if it is in jail. How do you plan to escape a duel with your life? The earl will call you out.”
“I am a good shot,” was all he said.
“I will wait until tomorrow. Think it over. If you refuse, I will tell the earl,” she snapped.
He remained silent, and Lady Babbage, with a last uncertain look in his direction, walked away.
***
The earl met Lord Raikes in his room that night and brought Emma along for the first time.
“I thought I should tell you both all that occurred this evening. I am becoming concerned with the situation. It is far worse than I had originally thought,”he said, taking down a bottle of whiskey and pouring a generous amount into a glass.
Lord Raikes did not tease him for bringing Emma to his room late at night. The earl looked worried, and his conclusions must have forced him to take her into confidence. He knew the earl had tried to protect her all this time.
“Tell us what
occurred,” Lord Raikes said.
So he did and concluded with, “… what I cannot fathom is why the woman wants money. She is blackmailing Prudence that we know of. She may be blackmailing other members of the house that we are unaware of. She could have been doing this for years. She clearly has some hold over Joe. She has asked me, not for some paltry amount, but to empty the duke’s treasures. What does she need so much money for?”
“She has everything—a home, a carriage, silks, jewels, and anything else she may wish for. All she has to do is ask the duke. Even if she does get all the blackmail money, where does she keep it, and what in the world does she do with it? She could hardly keep all that in her rooms here,” Emma put in.
“She has another house?” Lord Raikes asked.
She shook her head, “No, you are aware of how little she does go out. She never spends a night outside the duke’s home. She does not seem too fond of extravagant things like diamonds. She wears the dullest things as if she is trying not to attract attention by being as plain as she can.”
They sat in silence, each thinking their own thoughts.
Finally, the earl spoke, “The reason I am worried is that her demand was preposterous. No wonder Prudence looked frightened. Had I truly been in the situation she had imagined me to be in, I would have been just as desperate. Perhaps I would have been forced to steal from the duke. If I was caught, then I would have had no way to prove who the real culprit was. The duke would not believe someone who was already indulging in deception.”
“We have established the woman is evil, and we have no idea what her larger plan is or what she does with the money she extracts from people. Now what is concerning me is what to say to her tomorrow when she comes to me with your complaint. I can hardly pretend indifference to the fact that my fiancée has a lover hidden away on these grounds.” Lord Raikes said.
“William, I have had time to think over it. This is what you should do. We have another week of this play acting left before I win this wager. You need to buy time. Tell her that you are worried and concerned by what she has to say. Yet you do not want to blame Emma outright without some proof. You want to catch them red handed as it will allow no room for wriggling out. You want the man to suffer a harsh punishment. A man pretending to be older than his true age is not such a harsh crime. At best he could say he was desperate for a job, and hence created this farce. You can hardly throw him into jail for play acting,” the earl replied.
“I see, and then I should pretend to wait for Emma to slip up while she behaves like a devoted fiancé. It is, after all, only another week, and the argument to catch them in the act seems rational when you put it that way,” Lord Raikes answered thoughtfully.
“I also think we need to keep an eye on things. If she is blackmailing any other person in this house, then I need to know about it. I am sure the duke will listen to me, especially if I can produce some proof of the fact,” Emma added.
The other two nodded solemnly.
“Now, I would like a glass of whiskey. It is a shame women are not allowed to taste such things. It looks delicious, and I always wanted to try it. I would also like … a cigar,” she announced.
The earl spluttered while Lord Raikes looked scandalized. They made hurried excuses of it being late and feeling sleepy. With exaggerated yawns, Emma found herself being pushed out into the hallway, with the door shut in her face.
Sighing in disappointment, she made her way back to her room.
***
Lord Raikes pretended that he was unaware of the incident of the pants. It made it easier for him to get through the day. He ignored the blushing women when they turned his way, feigning ignorance.
Yet Catherine had been aware of his lucidity during the incident, and he was amused by her reaction every time they chanced to meet.
She was mortified and wondered when she would stop feeling embarrassed in his presence. Her face seemed to be constantly red since his arrival. One horrid incident had followed another from the day he had stepped into the house.
Things, instead of improving, had gone from bad to worse. This last incident had done her in; she lost her courage and could no longer meet his eyes.
Lord Raikes found her embarrassment entertaining. He did not care for other women’s opinions and giggles, but Catherine’s obvious discomfort amused him. He made it a point to search her out and speak to her, inwardly laughing at her attempts to fend him off and her comical stance every time she encountered him. She either stared at the ceiling or examined her toes, looking anywhere but in between.
His mood improved as the day went by, since all would be revealed within a few days, and he could openly court her.
He tried to make the best of their moments together, learning as much as he could about her interests. He read more into what she did not say than what she did.
Meanwhile, Emma behaved beautifully. It was easier for her, now that she knew him better, to play her part of the devoted fiancé. Whenever he entered the room, she fluttered her lashes and flirted with her fan for the benefit of the watching household.
***
Lady Babbage approached Lord Raikes after dinner.
He carefully wiped all expression of his face as he engaged her in conversation. He did not have to wait long before she asked him to join her on the balcony. Still pretending to be polite and unaware of her reasons, he escorted her outside.
“You seem fond of Emma,” Lady Babbage said as soon as they were alone.
“Yes, I care about her a great deal,” Lord Raikes replied.
“When do you plan to marry?”
“When the duke gives us his blessing. I came here to convince him to shorten the time period of our engagement.”
“I, for one, am glad he has given you so much time to think things over,” she replied, her tone hinting at something sinister.
Lord Raikes played along as he answered, “Why would you wish for something so cruel? It cannot be kind to keep two lovers apart. We both come from the right backgrounds, and no one would object to our union.”
“I think my brother is an intelligent man and he often has good reasons for the things he does.”
Up until that point Lord Raikes had not believed the woman would actually stoop to trying to destroy a man’s life. He had no doubts now as to her allusions. She was angry with Richard for defying her in her request, and she wanted to bring him down rather than have her pride crushed.
He had hoped she would feel some compassion and give the earl some warning to leave the grounds for good, instead of creating such a dangerous situation.
“I would like you to speak plainly,” he said more crisply than he would have liked.
Lady Babbage paused at the tone, then misunderstanding the reason for his anger, said, “I know how the long engagement must irk you and of your impatience with the duke. But let me assure you that had I not seen it with my own eyes, I would not have believed it …”She hesitated and then as if steeling herself said, “I thought it prudent to tell you before things are too late. You still have a chance, and I think you are a wonderful man and deserve better. Emma … she is having an affair.”
“I don’t believe it!” he exploded.
“She has him hidden away as the head gardener. I am sure you have seen her converse with him a few times. I have lived far longer than you, My Lord. I could tell something was not right the moment I met him. I discovered that he is far younger than he pretends to be. I am sure he is no older than you.”
“Nonsense! Why, that man must be sixty, old enough to be Emma’s father.”
“He is a young man pretending to be a gardener.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, injecting a hint of doubt in his voice.
“Yes, I confronted him, and he as good as told me that I was right. He pleaded his case with me. He does not have such a strong standing in society as you, My Lord, and he was sure his offer would be rejected. So he pretended to be the gardener to spend the last few months with E
mma before she got married.”
Lord Raikes wanted to laugh at the lies spilling out of the woman’s mouth. He stared out into the darkness hoping his face was too shadowed to read.
“I know how this must distress you, but it is better you know now than when it is too late,” she said.
“What do you plan to do?” she continued, wringing her hands together.
“Call him out,” he answered promptly.
“Is that necessary, My Lord?” She could not keep the eagerness completely out of her voice as she spoke.
“It is the matter of my honour.”
“Would you not rethink, consider Emma?”
Very good acting, he silently applauded her. He may have believed the woman if he had not been apprised of the situation beforehand.
He controlled his grin as he curtly answered, “Emma … I do care about her, and I truly find it hard to believe she would deceive me so. I confess this whole thing sounds too fantastic. But if it is true, then by god I want the man to suffer.” He wondered if he had overdone his despair. He peeked at Lady Babbage and saw her nodding satisfactorily. Pleased, he continued in the same tone, “But if I do approach him, then he would be sure to take the coward’s way out and deny the entire thing. Therefore, I want to catch them red handed so there is no way left for him to escape.”
“It won’t be easy catching them. They are extremely clever,” she said, getting annoyed.
“I am sure they will make mistakes. Letters and meetings are easy to ferret out. They are unaware that I know of their clandestine behaviour, so I have a fairly good chance.”
“If you cannot get any proof, then what will you do, My Lord?” she asked irritably. She did not like waiting; anything could go wrong. The stupid gardener may decide to flee, and she had still not managed to uncover his identity.
“I won’t wait for more than a week. If I can gather no proof, then I will simply confront him and be done with it.”
A week, she mused, was not long. In the meantime she could go to the gardener and say she had a change of heart, and she no longer intended to turn him in. Perhaps he would feel obliged to perform a few odd jobs for her.