by Nick Apuzzo
*****
BONUS TRACKS
*****
Track 22
St. Patrick's Day
Twenty Seven Years Later…
St. Patrick's Day, March 17, 2011
It's almost three in the afternoon when I pulled into a parking space in front of The First Cup; I enter the coffee shop, pass the many tables and chairs, and step up to the register.
"Saint's preserve us! Is there no service to be found here today?" I nearly yell in my comically bad imitation of an Irish accent.
A voice replies from the doorway to the back room "Who let an Italian in my coffee shop today!"
"Italian?" I ask.
"Oh you're doing that again this year? What is it, Murphy?" Sean asks me sarcastically, appearing from the back room.
"It's Nick Flanagan." I say indignantly "And don't gimme any crap either…it's practical. When I'm in a bar with two hundred hammered Irishmen who's gonna take a swing at Good Ol' Nick Flanagan?" I ask logically "No one, that's who…it's like I'm 'punch-proof'."
Sean chuckles "Ol' Nick Flanagan huh?..."
I interrupt him "That's right Good Ol' Nick Flanagan." though I begin to smile at my own wit "So what's up, you're not boozing yet?"
Sean replies with a sour expression "Boozing? It's two thirty in the friggin' afternoon; I have a business to run!"
"Yeah but you're Irish…it's like mother's-milk to you people." I prod.
"I run a coffee shop for cryin' out loud! Ya know, you always say stuff like that on Saint Patrick's Day, I really think you get more of a kick out of it than the Irish."
"Hey Sean, out of the two of us, I've actually BEEN to Ireland! I love the Irish! I married one for chrissakes!"
Sean's shakes his head "You're a blight on my people."
"Shaddap. Hey I don't get to use my Irish material the rest of the year...but for today, it's topical! Besides, on Columbus Day you don't seem to have a shortage of material to bust MY balls with!"
"Two Italians are driving down a hill..."
Again I interrupt him "Na na naaaa! You have like seven months to go. Wait ya' turn."
Ingy enters the coffee shop and shouts "GET THAT GUINNEA OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW OR I'LL PICK HIM UP BY HIS LIMP LITTLE DICK AND HIS GREASY HAIR AND TOSS HIM OUT MYSELF!"
I shoot back "WHO SAID I HAVE GREASY HAIR?"
Ingy joins us at the register and as we shake hands I remind him "Besides, there're no Italians in here at the moment…"
Ingy looks to Sean "He's doing that again this year?"
Sean smirks and nods.
"What is it again…Nick McFarkle?..." Ingy asks.
Now it's my turn to interrupt Ingy "It's Good Ol' Nick Flanagan! Jesus will you guys get it right?"
Ingy laughs "Flanagan, right. You're shameless."
"Whatever. So…Sean Connery, you makin' everything green colored today?" I ask.
"Of course."
"OK then, how about a large cup of green cappuccino?"
"You got it." he says "Ingy?"
"I'll have one of those too."
"The two of you go sit down."
Ingy and I find a big table in the middle of the seating area and turn for a moment to watch on a big flat screen TV live coverage of the St. Patrick's Day Parade, marching its way up Fifth Avenue in New York City.
"Did ya see Jimmy?" Ingy asks.
"Yeah, like eleven or so."
"He looked awesome in that kilt!"
Sean arrived and set down two absurdly large ceramic cups of green cappuccino with a shamrock impression pressed into the green foam; each cup was nearly as large as a flower vase.
I took one look at that size of that cup and barked "I said the LARGE!"
"Holy shit Sean, that's not a cup, it's a tank!" Ingy said smiling "Look, I see fish!"
"They're for special occasions." Sean said.
"Like a drought." Ingy said looking into his 'cup' "I could've gotten through an entire semester of French with this."
"Hey did either of you see Jimmy in the kilt?" Sean asked.
"Yeah we both saw him." Ingy replied "We should wear kilts…not YOU Bogus Flanagan! You are not Irish!"
"Ya know, the kilt is of Scottish origin you idiot…it's a uniquely Scottish invention. It was adopted by the Irish as it was by the Welsh, Cornish and Manx…" I said.
"What are you trying to say?" Ingy asked.
"Simply that if you're gonna be Irish, do it correctly."
Ingy stood up quickly and let his chair fall over behind him "I don't have to take this…not from Bogus Flanagan…and NOT on St. Patrick's Day!"
Sean knew where this was going, he'd had more than two decades of the Idiot Show "Shut up and sit down, it's a nice day and I'm not in the mood."
Sean put his hand on Ingy's shoulder and sat him down as he righted his chair.
"You never let us have any fun. You're a buzz kill Sean O'Neil…for today your name is Bummer McDowner!" I said.
"Shaddap and drink your drink."
A few minutes later Tommy and Dave came into the coffee shop together. Boisterous greetings were exchanged, drinks were placed on the table and of course, insults were hurled.
"Tommy, you have more hair in your ears than on your head."
"Dude, at least my cock still works. Get that little blue pill, I can't handle the workload of your wife AND mine."
"Hey at least she's givin' it up to SOMEONE, she cut me off years ago."
"Dave, Chloe let you out of the house? That must've been one hell of a bullshit story you gave her."
"At least my hair ain't grey yet Nick, you're gonna wind up lookin' like Santa Claus."
I try to suppress a smile and it's gotta be obvious that I'm trying to come up with a return salvo "Santa Claus huh? Hmmm, let's see…my own sled, my own factory at the North Pole…how cool is THAT?..." I said trying to make it sound great "…the elves…those fuckin' elves…" I say with aggravation, suddenly like a factory manger who has labor problems "…they're lazy thieving bastards, all of 'em! Anyway Dave, when I'm flyin' over your house this year I'm gonna have my reindeer shit down your chimney!"
Everybody laughs at my displeasure.
"It's almost three thirty, is he coming?" Tommy asks.
Sean says "Yeah, I spoke to him. After the parade he was heading home to change and get cleaned up. He said he'd be here." then sees a small hoard of teenagers waiting at the register and leaves the group to take care of them.
"How's Claire and the family?" I ask Ingy.
"Good, everyone's good. Claire's takin' off for Sarasota next week for four days to see her mom." Ingy said "Caitlin got into M.I.T…."
"Congratulations…I think. Ouch." I say.
Ingy held up his hands "…partial scholarship and some financial aid. I worked it all through, we can swing it."
"Nice going man, M.I.T.'s the shiznit."
"Ya know, that doesn't sound right coming out of your mug…Anyway, we'll have to plan a trip to see the campus." Ingy said.
"How's the 'congregation' Reverend?" I ask Tommy.
"Hope's still doing non-profit; she's happy. Faith and her husband are still in California, I don't think they're coming back, they rave about it out there." Tommy said with a little shrug "I'll have someplace to go on vacation. Lynn is just ending her first year at NYU, she's good too…Dean's list. She met a guy; she's bringing him home on Sunday. Still got that shovel in your trunk?" he asks looking at me.
I nod and smile at him "How's your biz?"
"I know the economy's bad but I have enough work to keep my guys busy. We're all booked. Not at the rates we used to get, but still..."
"Ya. Still teaching voice?"
"Yup, Tuesdays and Thursdays; still doing it." Tommy said. He gave lessons in voice at a large music store in Paramus.
"Good. You never know when we might put the band back together." Nick said, prompting smiles all around "We don't want any singers that suck…drinkin' up our beer!"
"What about a tra
p door?" I heard from behind me.
"I KNOW THAT VOICE." I turn and see Jimmy entering the coffee shop "It's Detective Perfect Looking Jimmy!"
As noisy as the cluster of teenagers were, even they were annoyed at the eruption of greeting for Jimmy. Sean came back from the register and everyone took the time to shake hands and give a quick hug.
"We saw ya' beatin' your bongos this morning on Fifth Avenue Jim!" Ingy said "And Nick was speakin' against the Irish Jim!" Ingy said.
"Oh shut up, I was not." I said.
"Both of ya shut up or so help me I'll throw ya right in the friggin jail." Jimmy teased.
"Police are so corrupt in this state. HELP HELP I'm bein' repressed. Now ya see the violence inherent in the system!..." Ingy quoted Holy Grail until Tommy smacked the back of his head.
"When we were marching past St. Patrick's Cathedral a drunk made it past the barricade somehow. He slipped right by 'em and just like…walked into our ranks. It was hilarious." Jimmy said.
"What happened?" Sean asked.
"Nothin', he walked with us for like a block, he was weavin'…that guy was sauced…then he veered off and a patrolman saw him and stuffed him back across the line. I don't think he realized who he was marching with."
"The guy was probably too drunk to remember anything about it, until he sees himself on the news!" Tommy chuckled "You guys sounded good. How many years now ya in that police Pipe and Drum corps thing?" Tommy asked.
"This is my tenth." Jimmy said "Which reminds me. When are we going to do the memorial this year?"
Sean thought a moment, then shrugged "Saturday in the middle of April again? Weather should be good enough."
"That's….the sixteenth I think." I said, I played with my phone for a few seconds to get to the calendar "Yeah. The sixteenth of April. Everyone make it then?"
Everyone agreed that it was a good date and I texted it to everyone's cell a minute later.
Over the next two hours Sean, Ingy, Jimmy, Tommy, Dave and I talked, joked, teased, fought and generally made ourselves an annoyance to the other customers.
Track 23
Since You've Been Gone
A few days after Kenny's funeral back in '84, Sean called Doug Brill and told him that the boys needed a week to come together on what they were going to do in the future. Then Sean called a band meeting at the practice studio; none of the boys were found there when the time came, they were all at Ray's. The boys didn't feel ready to enter the studio; they'd taken down Kenny's artwork for the gathering, but as they were leaving Tommy remarked that the place was 'empty' to him now and the others agreed. Something had changed permanently. Now in Ray's, everyone was of the opinion that Raw Deal was over.
Tommy voiced it best "It would be different if he quit or something, but his death…it's like something died inside of me." Everyone echoed similar sentiments, only their words were different.
Sean called Doug and let him know. Doug expressed sympathy and his condolences, and said he understood. He added that if the boys changed their minds they should contact him. And thus it was over…Raw Deal was no more. Sean spent an hour cancelling the bookings he had in place and letting them know what happened; it surprised him a little bit how far and wide the word had been spread already.
Sean's relationship with Sam lasted longer than anyone initially suspected and they lived together for four years. Eventually though it ran its course and then Sean casually dated for many years, living the life of a carefree bachelor. When he reached twenty years with the supermarket he retired early and used his savings to convert a woman's clothing store into his coffee shop, The First Cup; he considered naming it The First Cup Is The Deepest because it struck him as witty, but Nick and Ingy threatened to boycott the coffee shop if he named it after a Cat Stevens song; if a song name were to be used, they demanded it be a heavy metal song. They seemed deadly serious so Sean bowed to the pressure to keep peace in the extended family.
Six years ago Sean met Margret Lane, and ex-model for store catalogs, although the boys insist on referring to her as 'that underwear model of yours' and give him no end of grief about her being way to attractive for him. They bought a house together in Rochelle Park and are soul mates. It's doubtful that they'll marry as both are at this point set in their ways, but there's no doubt that they're lucky to have found each other.
Dave played guitar with a few of the local garage bands, but never did find the right fit for a working club band; the most important thing he'd learned from his experience in Raw Deal was 'Chemistry is King'. He and Chloe dated for three years before he proposed to her, and a year after they were engaged, they married. As was the case with all of the ex-Raw Deal crew, his bachelor party almost landed them all in jail, his wedding was attended by all and the reception was pure chaos!
He drifted between jobs during this time, but when he got married he started to look for something more permanent and with more potential. Dave went to work for a limousine company as a driver, saved his money and learned the business; the owner wasn't well suited to the long hours required to be self-employed and when he was on the edge of bankruptcy Dave bought the business for it's debt. Sometimes it's easier to see problems in a business when you're not the one running it and this was the case for Dave, he methodically set about making the changes he thought were needed. Time proved him correct; the business regained its balance and today is a fleet of nine new stretch limousines, operating in the black.
In the year of the breakup, Jimmy left the carpenter's local to attend the police academy. Around this time he also broke up with April for no single reason and without any drama; perhaps the change that they went through during those early years caused the deck to be stacked against them lasting as a couple. As a cop he had an accomplished arrest record, superb instincts and proved to be adroit in handling the considerable politics involved in a police career; eventually he became a member of the Detective Division on the streets where he grew up. Two years out of the academy he met Sharon Ward who worked in the Office of the County Clerk and a year later they married. Jimmy and Sharon had four children, three boys and a girl, Kevin, John, James and Grace. For the last ten years Jimmy's played in the Police Pipe and Drum Corps and has always kept his chops. In a somewhat soundproofed room in his basement is the very same drum kit he played in Raw Deal. Of course his hair is much shorter these days, but he's still got perfect time.
A few months after the breakup, Tommy was singing in another band that was making the rounds at the time 'Villain', a Judas Priest and Iron Maiden cover band; it lasted all of a month. The boys supported him and went to his first gig with Villain, but none of them thought it would last, Tommy was too good for them and they'd need another year or two banging it out in the clubs to be a be in the same league.
One day he was running some errands for Hope and he stopped at the red light in front of the local Catholic Church, a few blocks from his apartment. As he absentmindedly looked to the scaffolds erected around the main entrance, he noticed evidence of things that should never be seen when a professional painter is at work. He made a spur of the moment decision and turned into the Church parking lot and sought out the pastor; he took him to the front of the building and showed him several defects in workmanship and taught him a bit about best practices of skilled painters. The pastor immediately gave the job to Tommy. While doing the project Tommy got to know the pastor, and in spite of his not being Catholic, developed a lasting friendship with him. When the pastor eventually learned of Tommy's musical skills, he enlisted him to try a pre-teen vocal class in the Church's Community Outreach program. This he did as a volunteer for five years, after which he began to teach voice at a large music superstore that held a large clientele of students taking instruction in a wide array of instruments and with Tommy's arrival, 'Modern Vocals I to IV'. This new opportunity allowed Tommy the chance to teach vocal technique for music closer to his days in Raw Deal and fully one half of his students were mid to late teen garage band singers.
>
Eventually his perfectionist nature caught up with him and he simply had too much referral business from satisfied customers to handle. He decided to take on some employees and within the span of a few short years he'd built a large and well known painting company with a long list of distinguished clients.
Ingy graduated from Fordham University and had a few difficult years ahead of him. Although he anticipated finding a career without much trouble, he didn't seem interested in any of the jobs he landed; he had high aptitude in several areas, had superior communication skills and intelligence, but he couldn't seem to get 'comfortable' in any of the jobs he had. Eventually he became depressed and try as his family and the boys might, he seemed unreachable. One Saturday Ingy went to get the oil changed in his car and while he was waiting, an attractive brunette seemed to be stealing glances at him.
He might have been in a low point in his life, but he was still manifestly 'Ingy' "Why don't you take a picture, it lasts longer!" he said in a perfect imitation of a fifth grade boy.
The woman couldn't help but laugh "You look familiar."
"I get that a lot." he said.
"Really?"
"Not really no." he said deadpan.
She laughed again, and asked "Were you in a band at one time?"
"Yeah." he said, then timed the pause perfectly and continued "You might have heard of us…Led Zeppelin…was a kind of blues rock experience…we were pretty big." he said straight faced.