by Ashlee Price
We stay still and silent as the shower keeps running. The sound of the water masks that of our heavy breathing.
"Are you okay?" I ask Jess when I've caught my breath.
She looks up at me. "Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?"
"I'm fine."
I kiss the top of her head. Then I run my fingers across the soaked lace.
"You've ruined it," Jess accuses me. "You said you'd take it off, but you didn't."
"Well, the point of lingerie is to have sex while wearing it," I tell her.
She turns to me with narrowed eyes. "You seem to know a lot about lingerie, don't you?"
"I..."
"And you seem to have a thing about skimpy clothes," Jess adds.
I grin. Guilty.
"And about wet surroundings."
"Now, that's not..."
Jess stands up and pulls me to my feet. She pushes me out of the tub.
"Out!" She points to the door. "I'm going to have a shower now."
She draws the shower curtain.
I sigh.
So much for putting Jess in a better mood.
I grab my towel to dry myself off, then pick up my robe and briefs from the floor. I walk out of the bathroom and close the door behind me.
As I see all the boxes in the living room, I frown.
I guess tomorrow is going to be another busy day.
~
Is it morning already? I wonder as I hear a guitar playing in the living room.
I glance at the glowing numbers of the clock on my bedside table and realize it's not. It's not even midnight, in fact. And yet the guitar continues to play.
Jess is still awake?
I get out of bed and go outside the room.
I find Jess on the couch with her guitar. Her notebook is spread out on the coffee table in front of her.
I rub my eyes. "Aren't you supposed to be sleeping?"
Jess stops abruptly. Then she turns to me.
"I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd work on that song. Kay seems to be getting impatient about it."
I walk over to her and peer over her shoulder. The pages of the notebook seem to have more lines now.
"Looks like you're finally getting somewhere," I say.
"Well, I have to. Our final performance is only a week away."
I squint at the lines and start reading one out loud.
"The times we-"
Jess closes the notebook and hugs it to her chest.
"Will you please not look at my song? It's my masterpiece, you know. Until I'm ready to share it, it's a secret, precious part of me."
"Okay. Okay." I step back. "But I'm glad it's coming together."
"Well, you're partly responsible for it."
My eyebrows arch. "Oh?"
"Not that I'm saying you inspired me or anything," Jess adds. "Just that... Well, a lot of stuff has happened since you came along, and..."
She stands up.
"Never mind. I'm going to bed."
Jess disappears into her bedroom with her notebook, her guitar and her red cheeks.
I grin.
She might have been a little bolder earlier, but she's still got a long way to go with being honest with her feelings.
Even so, to think that she'd write a song about me or for me!
I don't think anyone's done that before.
Chapter 23
Jess
"You're writing Steff a song?" Lisbeth asks me as we wipe the washed mugs on the kitchen table.
"I'm not writing him a song," I argue. "I'm just... Well, everything just started to come together in my head as I thought of him, and so now I'm just trying to capture stuff that we shared and..."
"You are writing Steff a song," Lisbeth affirms. "And if that's not proof you're in love with him, I don't know what is."
I sigh as I reach for another mug.
First, Kay keeps going on about Steff and me being romantically involved, and now Lisbeth insists I'm in love with him.
"Am I missing something-I mean I am still a novice when it comes to all this men and relationship stuff-or are other people just quicker to find out when you're... well, in love?"
"It's not about experience." Lisbeth puts another mug on the tray. "And I don't think finding out is your problem."
My eyebrows crease. "Then what is my problem?"
"You know how you feel. You're just... not being honest," Lisbeth answers.
I point to my chin. "I know how I feel?"
Lisbeth lets out a loud sigh. "Well, you certainly know that you don't feel nothing, don't you? Otherwise, why did you introduce him as your boyfriend and then your fiance and then ask him to marry you?"
"I only did it because he happened to be there."
"And do you only have sex with him because he happens to be there?" Lisbeth asks.
I blush.
"Are you saying you'd do it with any other man who happened to be there?"
"Of course not," I tell her without hesitation.
"Then you do feel something for him."
I reach for another mug. "Well, I used to just be annoyed at him, but now I feel at ease around him. And I was glad he was there when my dad had a stroke. And I had a lot of fun with him in Florida."
I look at Lisbeth.
"But that's not love, is it?"
She exhales. "Why? What were you expecting? Did you think you'd get swept off your feet right away and just fall head over heels? Then you're even more naive than I thought. Love isn't just one feeling. It's joy. It's pain. It's peace. It's excitement. And it doesn't always have to be intense. Sometimes it's subtle but it lingers."
"Hmm." I touch my chin. "For someone who's not married, you seem to be an expert on love."
"Don't mock me." Lisbeth suddenly wraps her arm around me.
"Hey!"
I almost drop the mug in my hand but manage to transfer it to my other one.
I breathe out a sigh of relief.
"Just because you're in love right now with a perfect hunk doesn't give you the right to be cheeky," Lisbeth says.
"I didn't..."
She pinches my cheek. "Just you wait. I'll get a boyfriend soon."
"Ouch!" I rub my cheek as I get away from her. Then I frown. "I wasn't trying to challenge you or anything, okay? I was just trying to lighten up the conversation because it was so serious."
"Love is serious." Lisbeth lifts a finger. "This is a serious conversation we're having between two serious women who..."
"I hate to interrupt such a serious conversation," Tom cuts in. "But someone's looking for Jess."
"Tom." Lisbeth gives him a smile as she faces him. "Don't worry. Even though we were having a serious conversation, we were working just as seriously."
"Who's looking for me?" I ask Tom.
"He said his name is Josh," Tom answers.
My eyebrows arch.
Josh? What's he doing here?
"Go ahead and take a five-minute break," Tom tells me.
"Thanks." I turn to Lisbeth and put the mug down. "I guess I'll be back in five minutes. Leave me some mugs to wipe... or not."
Lisbeth just frowns.
I go out to the dining area and see Josh at a table near the window. He turns his head and our eyes meet.
"Hey!" I wave as I walk over to him.
He waves back.
I pull out a chair and sit down. "To what do I owe this surprise?"
"I just wanted to talk to you," Josh says.
"About?"
"Well, I wanted to thank you again for all the things you said before. They've really helped. Marianne told me to thank you as well."
I shake my head. "I just did what a friend should."
"And are we still friends?" He scratches his head. "Because lately, I feel like you hate me and... well, things just aren't the same between us."
He places his hands down on the table.
"To tell you the truth, it bothers me."
My eyebrows go up.
Come to think of it, though, I guess there has been some distance between us lately. Of course, there would be, considering how close we used to be and everything that's happened.
"I just want us all to enjoy playing together and enjoy each other's company for the remaining performances, you know," Josh adds. "I mean, there are only a few left."
I nod. "I understand. And don't worry. Even though things may have changed between us, that doesn't mean I hate you. I'm sorry if you've been feeling that way."
Have I really been that harsh?
Josh touches his neck and looks away. "Well, you do have a reason to after what I did to you."
Ah. So he knows he did something wrong, after all.
"If you're sorry then that's fine," I tell him. "We can forget about it now, okay?"
"So we're still friends?" Josh asks hopefully as he meets my gaze. "But if it's not okay with your boyfriend, I'd under-"
"We're still friends," I interrupt him as I offer him my hand.
He smiles as he shakes it.
It's still a nice smile, but it doesn't shake the foundations of my being anymore.
"And more importantly, we're band mates," I add. "So let's make our final memories as a band amazing, okay?"
Josh nods.
I glance at the clock on the wall and stand up.
I still have two minutes to go, but I think we've already said all we wanted to say. The air is clear now and I even feel like I can breathe a little easier.
"I have to go back to work," I tell Josh. "See you tonight?"
He stands up. "See you."
I give him a final wave before heading back to the kitchen. Lisbeth is standing there, waiting for me with her arms crossed over her chest.
I glance at the mugs behind her. "You really did leave me some mugs to wipe."
"So?" She taps her arm. "What did he say?"
"Nothing," I answer. "He just wanted to clear the air. Frankly, I'm glad he did."
Lisbeth's eyes narrow. "What exactly does that mean?"
"It means we're going to carry on as friends, at least until the band breaks up," I explain. "Which is fine by me."
"And is it fine with Steff?" Lisbeth asks. "Or haven't you told him about your crush on Josh?"
"I don't have a crush on Josh anymore," I state plainly. "So there's no reason for Steff not to be fine with it."
"Oh?"
"Why wouldn't he be? We're not in a relationship, remember?"
"But you are sort of exclusively sleeping with each other, aren't you?" Lisbeth points out. "And you're in love. Frankly, I don't know why the two of you aren't in a romantic relationship."
I shrug as I pick up a mug. "Because he's not in love with me?"
"Jess, he married you."
"So he could have sex with me."
"And how many times have you had sex already, huh?"
I look at her. "I thought sex and love were different things."
"Yes, but..." Lisbeth scratches her head. "Forget it. If you can't figure it out, you don't deserve him."
My eyebrows arch.
Huh? What was I supposed to be trying to figure out again?
"Just hurry, though," Lisbeth adds. "Or someone might snatch him away. You know guys like him sell out as soon as they hit the shelf."
"Huh?"
"Speaking of shelf, weren't you thinking of buying a chocolate cake today? You better tell Tom not to bring it out or someone else might."
"Oh, right." I put the mug down and hurry off.
Romance is complicated. But chocolate cake? Simple. And divine.
And I did promise Steff I'd finally bring one home.
~
"It's as good as you said it would be," Steff remarks after eating a forkful off his slice of chocolate cake.
"Told you." I eat another forkful off my own. "Is it as good as the one that got thrown at you?"
"Frankly, I didn't get to taste much of that."
I chuckle. "Of course you didn't."
He touches his chin. "Maybe I should try making one."
I shake my head. "Don't even go there. Baking is tricky. And baking cakes? Very tricky. Even professionals have trouble with them."
"If you say so."
"I say so."
I grab my glass of water and take a sip.
"By the way, Lisbeth says hello."
Steff wipes his mouth with a paper towel. "Tell her hello, too. Or maybe I should drop by and say it myself?"
"No," I protest immediately. "Bad idea."
Who knows what Lisbeth might say to him if he dropped by?
"Okay," Steff accedes.
I pick up my fork. "Also, Josh dropped by. He said sorry."
I watch Steff's eyes for a flicker of jealousy but see none.
Surprise? Yes. Jealousy? No.
See. He isn't in love with me.
"Finally."
Steff leans on one arm and smiles. Then his expression turns serious.
"For his girlfriend and his child's sake, I hope he can become a better man."
I nod.
Just then, the phone in the apartment starts to ring.
Who could it be?
Steff goes over to the counter and picks up the receiver.
"Hello?"
His eyebrows arch slightly, then crease.
He puts the receiver down.
"Who was that?" I ask him.
"No one," Steff answers as he walks back to the table. "Just some static."
"A prank call?"
He shrugs.
I glance at the phone again.
Who could it have been?
Chapter 24
Steff
"You shouldn't have called the apartment," I scold Danni as I sit across from her at the elegant restaurant of the Four Seasons. "What if someone else answered?"
"By 'someone else', you mean Jessica Campbell?" Danni asks as she picks up her cup of tea.
I frown. As usual, she's well-informed.
I pick up my own cup and take a sip. "It is her apartment. Or didn't you get that little piece of information?"
"Why are you staying in someone else's apartment? And a woman's, no less?"
"Why not? You and I have adjoining quarters at the Palace. It's practically the same thing."
"It's not," Danni says firmly as she sets down her cup. "I know your place and I know mine. But she doesn't know who you are, does she, Steffan Olsen?"
I put my cup down. "Should I have told her? Should I have told everyone who I was?"
Danni sighs. "You haven't changed, Your..."
"Steff," I correct her promptly.
She meets my gaze through the lenses of her eyeglasses. "You're still as troublesome as ever."
"What? Did you think I'd become a saint? Someone worthy of your worship?"
"I was hoping you'd grow up a little more," Danni answers. "I see that hasn't happened."
I sit back in the cushioned chair.
"Why are you here? Surely you didn't go through the trouble of tracking my phone, installing surveillance cameras outside Jess's apartment and calling me here just to scold me." I narrow my eyes at her. "Or did you miss it that much?"
Danni pushes her glasses up her nose. "I'm here to tell you that you can come home."
My eyes grow wide.
"Princess Natasia is with child."
For a moment, I go still. Then I lean on one arm.
"Is she? I haven't read it in the news."
"It's good that Your... you still read news from Brelv. But this is something that hasn't made it to the headlines yet, because it hasn't been announced yet. In fact, I'm not even sure Prince Viktor knows."
My eyebrows arch. "My brother doesn't know?"
"I only know because I caught the Princess by surprise while she was holding her pregnancy test," Danni tells me as she picks up her cup of tea again. "She made me swear not to tell anyone."
"I see." I tap my fingers on the arm of
the chair. "So you didn't tell my brother but you're telling me?"
"My loyalty is to you," she reminds me.
"But why hasn't she told Viktor?" I wonder out loud. "He'd surely be thrilled."
"Maybe she's just waiting for a perfect opportunity to surprise him," Danni answers. "He is busy, after all, what with the Midsummer Festival coming soon. Maybe she's planning to tell him at the Festival, for that matter."
"You mean those pretend festivities," I say.
It's supposed to be a week for the Brelvan nobles to come together with each other and mingle with the common folk, but all the nobles ever do is squabble at court and try every means they can think of to curry favor with my father and brother.
"Anyway," Danni goes on after clearing her throat. "I believe you theorized before you left that she was threatening your life because she felt threatened herself, because she did not have an heir. Now that that is no longer true, it makes sense for you to come back. If you return at once, the King may even be lenient with you."
I pause to think. Then I shake my head. "I won't."
"What?"
Danni's cup hits the saucer with a soft clatter.
"I'm sorry, Danni, but I'm not going back," I tell her. "Not yet. Yes, Natasia may be pregnant, but who's to say she'll be satisfied with that? Besides, my return may upset her, and she can't be upset in her condition. I have to wait until the new Prince or Princess is born."
Danni leans forward. "But that won't be for nine months."
I clasp my hands on the table and exhale. "It can't be helped. I started this plan. I have to see it through."
"But..."
She puts her hand on the table and stands up, but stops as her gaze falls on my hand.
Shit.
I quickly pull my hand back under the table, but it's too late.
She's noticed.
Danni sits down. "Where is your ring?"
"Someone is keeping it safe for me," I answer.
"Jessica?"
I snort. "She doesn't like being called that."
"She's the real reason you don't want to come back, isn't she?" Danni asks. "Is she also the reason you cut your hair?"
I say nothing.
"She's bewitched you, hasn't she? She lured you to her bed and filled your head with fantasies so that you'd give her your ring. How could you?"
I lift my hand. "Calm down, Danni."
"This is unacceptable." She shakes her head. "She is not even Brelvan. And she..."