by Jo McNally
“So...your ex-fiancée seems nice.” She used the sarcasm lightly, hoping to coax a crooked smile from him. His left brow rose.
“I’m curious how you know her name.” Ah. The man speaks at last.
“Hey, she approached me. Marking her territory or something. It’s a girl thing.”
“And she just blurted out that she used to be engaged to me?”
Bree shook her head. “No, your niece filled in the blanks.”
His head tipped to the side and he looked at her as if she were a puzzle that he hadn’t quite figured out. His shoulders were just beginning to relax when an older man walked over and grabbed his hand, pumping it up and down.
“Thank you for your service, Colton. You did a damn fine job over there, and you represented Russell well, son. It ain’t your fault those others died. You did the best you could.”
Cole’s eyes closed slowly, and his words came through clenched teeth.
“If I’d done the best I could, they’d all be alive now.”
The old man looked at Bree sadly, shook his head and walked away.
* * *
COLE GROUND HIS teeth together and held his eyes tightly closed, working hard to keep what was left of his composure. The phone call from Nell that evening had caught him completely unprepared. He figured she was going to tell him one of the cows had dropped a calf. Instead, she needed another favor. Nell rarely asked for favors, especially at ten o’clock on a Saturday night.
“Honey, I was going to go back into town to pick up Bree, but I’m just not feeling well. Do you think you could drive to The Hide-Away and bring her home?”
“What do you mean, you don’t feel well?” Nell Patterson never admitted to illness or injury. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”
“Oh no, I’m fine, darlin’, but bless your heart for asking. I’m just tired.” She sighed. “I can drive in after her if you can’t do it...”
“No, of course I can.” He just didn’t want to. “But why is she expecting you to chauffeur her around town? And isn’t she supposed to be hiding from the public?” How typical of little Miss Hollywood to be so selfish.
“Don’t be mad at her, Cole. She and Tammy wanted to enjoy the band and have a few drinks. No one will recognize her. So you’ll go get her for me?”
He’d never refused Nell before, and he wasn’t going to start now. Nell Patterson was his lifeline in more ways than anyone knew.
“Yeah, fine. I’ll bring your tenant home safe and sound, Miss Nell.”
“I knew I could count on you, honey. Thank you.”
He sat outside the bar for more than twenty minutes. The windows on his truck were down, and he could hear the band playing. It was Mark and the boys, and they sounded good. Cole sighed. He hadn’t been in the bar on a Saturday night since he got back to Russell ten months ago. It looked crowded, and that was going to be a problem. He’d have to leave Maggie in the truck because she’d draw too much attention. The evening had cooled off enough that she’d be fine, but it meant he’d have to walk into the packed bar alone and look for that pain in the ass, Brianna Mathews. He used his anger at her to propel him inside.
Ty almost dropped the whiskey bottle he was pouring from when he saw Cole walk through the door. His face lit up, and Cole groaned. People were going to look at this as some kind of homecoming. Damn that redhead. He gave Ty a terse nod and tried to keep walking, but he was quickly surrounded by people he used to know. Harley. Danny. Billy MacIntyre. Arlen Howard. They were good guys. They hadn’t seen him in ages. He shook their hands and tolerated the back thumps they gave him. He was as polite as he could force himself to be as he looked around for Bree’s dark auburn hair. It was crowded and loud in here and he just wanted out.
He finally made it to the doorway of the dance hall, as he and Ty had laughingly dubbed it four years ago. His mouth twitched into a half smile. Some things never changed. There was Mark, holding some pretty girl’s hand and crooning a love song to her. The ladies always swooned when he did that, and this one was no exception, leaning forward, slightly tipsy. Cole looked around the room for Bree, assuming she’d be hiding in some dark corner, looking down her nose at this small-town Southern crowd.
Then his eyes snapped back to where Mark was standing. The woman he was singing to had a mass of curls that barely tickled her neck in a tangle of colors that Cole didn’t recognize. But there was something familiar about her. The sculptured neck and those legs...those long, gorgeous legs in that too-short skirt and those flame-colored boots. The strong arms peppered with golden freckles and fire ant bites.
Oh, hell no. Before he knew it, his hands were on her and he was pulling her away from his friend like a Neanderthal. Mark looked angry for just a moment, then he grinned at Cole and backed away, avoiding the beat-down Cole was seriously thinking of putting on the man who’d once been his best friend. Which left just him and Bree standing on the dance floor. Amber tried to latch on to him for some reason, but Bree chased her off as if she was protecting him, which made no sense.
When she turned to face him, it had been the most natural thing in the world to pull her close. He hadn’t had a woman in his arms in over a year, and the feeling nearly knocked him to his knees. She smelled like flowers and fresh air, and he found himself breathing deep to take it in. People kept talking and patting his back, but he ignored them all.
Bree’s hand traced the ridges of his scars under his thin T-shirt. Everywhere her fingers brushed felt like an electrical current going straight to his heart. He tightened the arm he had wrapped around her, and his fingers rubbed the small of her back. Her green eyes went wide and dark with some emotion he couldn’t, or didn’t want to, identify. He felt as if he’d fallen into some very deep water here, with no way to get out. When the music stopped, she started teasing him again. He knew she was trying to relax him; he just didn’t understand why. She almost succeeded, too, until Marv Wilson walked up and started yammering about dead comrades.
He took a deep breath and opened his eyes. The walls of The Hide-Away seemed to be closing in on him. People here thought he was a hero, and he was anything but. It was suddenly difficult to breathe. He looked at the smiling faces surrounding him and felt a surge of panic.
Too close. Too crowded. Too loud. Too dangerous.
What was he doing here? What was his mission? How could he escape?
His eyes locked on Bree’s worried face. That was right—she was his mission. Get her and get her home. That was his objective. He grabbed her wrist roughly and tugged her forward as he pushed his way through the crowd. She let out a yelp of surprise then followed without another word. People parted before him like the Red Sea, and he knew how fierce he must look. He didn’t care. Fierce was good. Anger was good. It was the one emotion that felt familiar and safe.
He burst out the front door and took a deep draught of the night air as he propelled her toward the truck. His voice came out in a snarl. “Get in.”
She spun and put her hands on her hips. “What are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere with you.”
His blood was boiling now. “You get in the damned truck right now, you selfish little princess. Nell asked me to bring you home, and that’s what I’m doing.”
Her visible rage at his first sentence cooled at his second. Her brows knit together in confusion.
“Nell sent you? Why?”
“Because she was too tired to act as your chauffeur, that’s why.”
She still looked puzzled.
“But... I told her Ty was going to take me home...” She thought about it for a moment, then her eyes brightened. She shook her head and smiled.
“I think we got set up, Cole.”
“Set up?” As usual, this woman wasn’t making sense.
“I think Nell’s trying her hand at matchmaking. Having us both
to dinner last night? Asking you to pick me up tonight?” She gave a little laugh that sounded like a refreshing breeze through chimes. “Sadly, she’s a poor matchmaker if she thinks you and I are going anywhere as a couple. I’m sorry. You didn’t look very comfortable in there. You can head on home. I’ll be fine and I’m not done dancing...” She started to turn away, but he grabbed her arm. He still felt frighteningly out of his depth.
“The hell you’re not. Regardless of her motive, I told Nell I’d bring you home, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.” He started to pull her toward the truck again, but she dug in her heels.
“Cole, you’re being stupid. I’m staying right here.”
Defiance didn’t work on a mission. Defiance could lead to disaster, and he couldn’t tolerate that on his watch. Orders had to be followed to keep everyone safe. He yanked her forward and grasped her by her shoulders, glaring down at her.
“The mission is getting you home. You don’t get to change it. I have to complete the mission, don’t you understand?” Somewhere in his head, he knew he sounded like a lunatic. But if he didn’t complete his mission, something terrible could happen.
She opened her mouth to protest then stopped. Her eyes locked on his. He felt as if she was looking right into his soul. He wanted to break away, but he couldn’t. They stood there like that for what seemed like a very long time.
Ty’s voice cut into the tense moment. He was standing at the front door of the bar, and he sounded angry. And worried.
“Let her go, Cole, and step away.”
Bree shook her head. “No, Ty. We’re okay. Cole’s going to give me a ride home.” She rested her hands lightly on his arms, and he felt his grip on her shoulders relaxing. Damn it, he didn’t realize he’d been holding her so firmly. It must have hurt, but she hadn’t complained.
“You should stay here, Bree,” Ty said. “When he’s like this, he’s better off away from people.”
Cole blinked. Ty made it sound as if he was some kind of dangerous animal. Was that what he’d become to his own brother? Something shuddered deep inside him. Was that what he’d become, period? The light touch of Bree’s hand patting his arm broke him out of his dark thoughts.
“Not tonight, Ty. Tonight he needs to take me home.” His heart thumped erratically. She understood the importance of the mission. How could she possibly know? She looked to Ty and flashed him a reassuring smile. “We’ll be fine. Tammy can drop my purse at Nell’s tomorrow. Good night.” She calmly stepped back, and he released her without hesitation. She walked to the passenger door of his truck, opened it and gave Maggie a hug. Cole looked at his big brother and nodded.
“It’s good, man. I’m good.” He took a deep breath. “It just got too close in there. But I’m good now.” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself, because he was. He and Ty stared at each other in silence while Bree climbed into the truck and closed the door.
Ty looked to the truck where Bree was sitting and shook his head.
“I can’t figure out whether or not she’s good for you.”
“Yeah. Me neither. G’night.”
He turned and got into the truck with the woman he was beginning to suspect would either be his salvation or his destruction.
CHAPTER SIX
THE RIDE HOME was silent and thick with tension. By the time Cole got in the truck with her, Bree felt like she’d been on an endless emotional roller coaster. From the happiness of dancing with everyone and being serenaded by Mark to the drama of Cole bursting in and laying claim to her in the middle of the dance floor. From the defensive confrontation with Amber to the intensity of dancing in Cole’s tight embrace.
He’d clearly been a bundle of nerves and anger by the end of the dance, but she couldn’t tell where the anger was directed, and she didn’t think he could, either. Maybe that was what created the panic she saw in his eyes just before he grabbed her and dragged her outside. He’d been desperate out on the sidewalk, rambling about having a “mission” to complete. His grip on her arms was just short of painful.
Any reasonable woman would have been afraid. And she had to admit to a flutter of fear when he grabbed her...until she looked into his eyes. She’d expected his usual cynicism and anger, that cold Cole gaze that could slice through her. But what she saw tonight was something she never expected. Those gray eyes betrayed his sheer, unadulterated terror. That naked fear nearly broke her heart, and she wanted nothing more than to make it go away. If he needed her to go home with him in order to complete some critical mission in his mind, then that was what she’d do.
He was apparently as worn-out as she was, or perhaps still struggling with his demons, because he didn’t say a word on the drive home. He gripped the steering wheel so tightly that the veins stood out on the backs of his hands and forearms in the dim glow from the dashboard. His eyes stayed firmly fixed on the dark road ahead, as if it took real effort to not look in her direction. She absently ran her fingers through Maggie’s thick fur as the dog lay between them on the seat. She couldn’t think of a single thing to say to break the silence. Should she try humor? Ask him questions about his past? Talk about some neutral topic like the weather? She remained silent, afraid of making the wrong choice.
When he pulled into the driveway next to the cottage, he still wouldn’t look at her. But he finally spoke.
“Bree...” His voice cracked, and he pressed his lips together in frustration. He was silent for a moment then shook his head. His voice hardened. “I’ll stay here until you’re inside. See you ’round.”
See you ’round?
After grabbing her and dragging her out of a bar filled with people, after she defended his freaking honor and had more faith in him than his own brother, that was all he had to say? She sighed. She’d never understand men in general, and she surely would never understand this man. Just trying was giving her whiplash.
“Yeah, right. See you ’round.” She opened the truck door, and Maggie whined. Bree turned back with a small smile and scratched the dog’s ears. “Good night, Maggie Mae. You’re a sweetheart.” Maggie stood and barked as Bree closed the door and walked away from the truck. Cole kept the truck idling until she closed the front door of the cottage and flicked on the lights, then he backed out and headed over to his own driveway. She watched the taillights head toward the big farmhouse and wondered what he’d do with himself once he got inside. Alone and uptight, stressed and haunted. Her heart softened. There was more to Cole Caldwell than met the eye.
* * *
“GIRL, TRY NOT to kill the tomato plants along with the weeds.” Nell chuckled. “The idea is to let the producing plants live. You’ve been whacking away at those weeds like they kicked your dog.”
Bree stood in the garden and stretched, placing her hands in the small of her back and arching backward.
“Sorry, Nell. I’m just a little uptight.”
She was still agitated about her confrontation with Cole at The Hide-Away. They hadn’t spoken in the days since, but she’d seen him on his tractor that morning, circling the edge of his field in the hot sun.
“Are you still mad at me about Saturday?” Nell asked.
She smiled and reached out to grab the older woman’s hand. “Oh, Nell, I was never angry with you. I just don’t think Cole appreciated your matchmaking attempts. He was so uncomfortable in the bar. It hurt me just to look at him.”
Nell looked solemn. “Come on, Bree, let’s quit for lunch. I’ve got soup simmering on the stove, and it should be almost done.” The two women walked toward the yellow house. “You know I never meant to hurt Cole, but being uncomfortable once in a while isn’t a bad thing. He can’t just lock himself up in that house and rage at the world for the rest of his life.”
“You and I know that, but I don’t think he does.” Bree held the screen door open for Nell. “The funny thing is, I
think he wants to let go, but he’s...afraid. I never thought I’d use that word for Cole, but he seemed so...afraid... Saturday night. Afraid of the crowd. Afraid of the attention. Afraid of me.”
She fell silent as she remembered the way his muscles trembled when she started tracing the scars on his shoulder. That brief moment of softness in his eyes when she teased him after they danced. She gave herself a firm mental shake as she stepped into the kitchen. She had to stop obsessing about the man.
Nell lifted the top off the pot, filling the room with a delicious aroma. She stirred the soup with a wooden spoon and nodded.
“Sometimes when people go through hard times, they find comfort in certain emotions, and it’s hard to let go of them. When my husband died years ago, I was so angry. He was a hellcat, but I loved him with everything I had. We tried for so long to get pregnant, and then Caroline finally came along. I begged him to quit auto-racing, but he just couldn’t do it. He was killed on a dirt track. We were up to our eyeballs in debt, and he’d left me here on this farm alone with a broken-hearted daughter. Caroline cried all the time, but me... I was just so angry.” She looked at Bree and sighed. “I was mad at Everett for dying in his stupid stock car. I was mad that the sun came up the next morning and the world kept turning. I was mad that my anger didn’t change a damn thing. God forgive me, I was mad that Caroline would cry herself to sleep every night and I couldn’t cry with her. I was mad at everyone who stopped by and thought they could help. Lord, I clung to that anger for weeks. Months.”
Her shoulders sagged and she covered the soup before sitting at the kitchen table. Bree joined her there and reached over to hold Nell’s hands. Nell stared at their entwined fingers for a long time then blinked back tears when she looked up.
“And then one day I realized how foolish I was being. My anger had become my security blanket, and it may have made me feel safe, but it was a crutch. It was holding me back and hurting everyone around me, especially Caroline. I had to start living again. It was scary. And hard. So hard.” Her voice faded off, but she started to smile as she spoke again. “It was worth it, though. Life was still waiting for me. I learned to tuck my grief away for quiet times when I could, and still do, embrace it now and then. But I had to live. I had to find joy again. And I did. I found it in my church, in my friends and in my family.” She sat up straighter. “And Cole needs to find his way back to living again. He’s just putting up a bigger fight than I did. But he’ll get there.”