by Ola Wegner
The only mistake he had made, which admittedly had taken him a step back in the relationship, was the afternoon when she had met Georgiana for the first time. In the heat of the moment, he had forgotten himself. She was a maiden, sheltered, innocent; such behaviour on his part was inexcusable and without a doubt very unwise. She had immediately associated what he had done with his past experiences with other women, and she had been right.
She was jealous, which warmed his heart, but there was more to it. He could see disgust in her eyes. He could not change his past, but surely in the future, he would direct and advise his own sons differently. He did not wish for them to repeat his mistakes, being in a situation like he had placed himself in. He craved Elizabeth's respect. He wanted her to admire him, and he knew that she was less than impressed with his amorous past. He did not want her to be disappointed with him ever again. Nor did he wish to see that look in her eyes again.
To his great displeasure, he barely saw her these days. She was always with Mrs. Gardiner and Georgiana, shopping, or spending the day with Gardiners’ children. He did not mind the little Gardiners; they were well behaved, if not a little loud. Still, he preferred to keep a safe distance from them. Emily Gardiner always made a point to climb on his lap, studying him with an earnest expression. Moreover, one time when he had held little Fred, the baby had drooled all over the shoulder of his coat. It was ruined after that, and he could not wear it anymore. It was one of his favourite coats, and he had needed to order another one to replace it. Thankfully his tailor assured him he could make a similar one.
Despite being abandoned far too many times by Elizabeth for the company of his little sister, he was delighted that Georgiana and Elizabeth were forming such a close friendship, understanding each other so well. Georgiana looked up to Elizabeth as a role model, starting her every second sentence with 'Lizzy said this,' or 'Lizzy liked that,' or 'Lizzy laughed about such and such.' He even noticed that Georgiana had begun rolling her eyes at him, as well as mimicking many other of Elizabeth’s mannerisms.
Darcy had talked with Mrs. Gardiner personally, asking her to accompany Elizabeth and Georgiana to the dressmaker, to see that Elizabeth had everything she would need for the next year or so, including post mourning clothes. Mrs. Gardiner seemed to be knowledgeable about fashion, at least Georgiana thought so. Elizabeth’s new wardrobe would be sent directly to Pemberley once everything was completed, but her presence was needed almost every day to make necessary fittings to the many dresses that were being made for her.
He heard noises in the foyer, indicating that his ladies had returned from their outing.
“Have you had a pleasant day?” he asked, coming to greet them.
“Oh, yes, Brother, it was most delightful. Elizabeth’s dresses will be perfect.”
“I am glad,” he assured, taking note that Elizabeth looked paler than usual.
“Are you well?” he asked.
She smiled. “I am pleased that tomorrow is the very last fitting,” she said.
“They promised to have four dresses finished for tomorrow,” Georgiana added excitedly, “including the wedding dress, of course.”
“I cannot imagine how they have managed it,” Elizabeth noted. “So many gowns sewn in a little over a week,” she marvelled.
Darcy did not comment, even though he had pretty good idea how much this miracle was costing him.
Georgiana looked between both of them, smiled and excused herself from their company.
“You are tired,” he stated as the door closed after Georgiana and they were left alone.
“A little,” she breathed. She stepped closer and placed her head against his chest. He sat back into the armchair, pulling her onto his lap.
“Close your eyes, rest,” he murmured, kissing her forehead.
She shook her head. “I must go soon. I promised my aunt I would look after the children. She and uncle are going to a concert in the evening.”
“There is a nanny, I believe.” Darcy reminded.
“It is not the same. I have already told them that I would play with them. ”
His arms tightened around her. “At least you have practice before our own will come.”
She stilled in his arms for a moment, but soon relaxed. “How many children you would like to have?” she asked, playing with the buttons of his waistcoat.
“Three, two boys and a girl would be perfect,” he answered without a second thought. It was not that he had considered it earlier in detail, but two sons and baby girl sounded just right to him.
She leaned back to look at him. “Only three?”
He smiled. “Do you wish for more?”
“Do I have choice in that?” she questioned softly. “From my experience, a woman can have a child every year or two till the end of her childbearing years, unless she keeps separate bedroom from her husband.”
“I do not plan for us to keep separate bedrooms, not ever,” he assured her. “Still, there are ways to prevent conception. They are not always effective, but when the couple is careful, it can be planned. You mother never talked to you about that?”
“No, and I doubt that she has any knowledge of what you are speaking,” Elizabeth snorted. “She had five children in less than eight years. The birth of Lydia was very difficult. She could not give birth any more after that. I think that it is the only reason why I have not more siblings. On the other hand, I presume that my parents wanted to try as long as it took for a boy to be born.”
Darcy chose not to place his comment on his mother-in-law. He had already learned that Elizabeth did not like to discuss her mother in greater detail. “I see. You should talk with Mrs. Gardiner about it. She seems more knowledgeable.”
“Do you think that aunt and uncle...” she mused. “But they share one bedroom.”
“How long have they been married?” Darcy asked.
“Ten years this summer.”
“They have four children, but there are twins, so your aunt was with child only three times. There is three- four years of age difference between their children. I think that it is not a coincidence.”
“I have never thought about that.”
“You had no reason to occupy yourself with such matters. Now, as a married woman, you should be aware of them. I want us to enjoy our life together, and when we have children, to be able to devote our time to every one of them. I cannot imagine, doing it properly, having more than five.”
“You wish to postpone having children then?” she asked, searching his eyes for the answer.
“I would not mind enjoying you for a year or two without the burden of a child so soon in the marriage,” he admitted.
“The baby will not be a burden,” she protested, frowning.
“It will take so much of your time and attention though. I am not quite ready to share you. However, it will be expected at Pemberley for us to have a baby right away, preferably a boy and heir. It will calm the people. Their lives depend on the prosperity of the estate, its future.”
“I would wish to have a baby,” she said. “I do not want to wait.”
“You are very young. You have time. We can travel first.”
“I want someone to love,” she confessed.
He stiffened involuntarily, a searing pain cutting into his chest, right to his gut. “I see.”
“Forgive me,” she murmured, lowering her head.
“It is said that one should never apologize for honesty.”
She clamped her arms tightly around his neck. “I truly like you,” she whispered.
He tried to brush off her words, explaining to himself that in such a short time, she could not develop deeper feelings for him. Not even two months ago, she had claimed to dislike him. Now she liked him. It hurt still that what she wanted most from him was a baby so she could have someone to love.
Still her words touched him deeply, more than he was ready to acknowledge.
“I like you too,” he whispered back.
She
lifted herself from his lap. “I should go.”
He nodded, standing up as well. “I will call for the carriage.”
She gazed into his eyes. “Only five days.”
He cupped her cheek. “There is nothing to fear.”
“I do not fear it. I anticipate it,” she said evenly.
He searched her face.
“Truly,” she nodded, serious.
He was not certain what she meant, but he hoped for the best. It was his own fault that she was so hesitant. Through his pride, he had alienated her from the very beginning. Now he had to win her back. They were making progress. Every day they were getting closer to each other.
***
It was a beautiful, sunny day as Georgiana and Elizabeth travelled in an open carriage. They were alone today, with only Darcy’s servants accompanying them. Georgiana’s companion, Mrs. Annesley, had asked to terminate her contract a few days ago. Her daughter was expecting her first child, and she planned to live with her. Darcy agreed to that, seeing how well his sister and future wife interacted with each other, knowing that Georgiana would have an excellent companion in Elizabeth.
“I am so curious how your dresses came out,” Georgiana spoke with eagerness, a grin splitting her round face.
Elizabeth smiled. Her new sister was so excited about the new gowns, as if they were being made for her. She talked at length of how well Elizabeth would look in them. Elizabeth was no stranger to fashion, and she enjoyed pretty clothes like any other young woman; however, spending most of the day in the shops was tiresome and a boring experience for her. Georgiana seemed to never tire of it. She was always most enthusiastic, foregoing even her shyness. It was obvious that the girl had no hesitation when it came to spending money. She never asked about the price. When she liked something, she asked to have it sent home, the bill going to her brother. It was quite a different attitude to that which Elizabeth had been used to all her life.
“I am sure that we will not be disappointed.” She turned to Georgiana, taking her hand to give it a squeeze. “I must thank you for that. You put so much effort into choosing the right cuts and materials. I do not know how I would have managed without your help,” she spoke with sincerity.
Georgiana blushed at the praise. “Mrs. Gardiner was of great help as well.”
Elizabeth nodded, fully agreeing with Georgiana. Her aunt had gone to the shop with them the first several times, speaking directly with the owner, Madame la Fleur, about what exactly the future Mrs. Darcy would need. Elizabeth had been amazed at the number of the dresses that her aunt found necessary for her to own. When she questioned her on that, Mrs. Gardiner shushed her, saying that her new station in life required it. Elizabeth said no more, and allowed Georgiana and Mrs. Gardiner to take the lead. There was such a wide selection of materials at the elegant shop where Georgiana had taken her, that she was most grateful for her advice.
As they entered the shop, Elizabeth’s eyes fell on the woman who was standing in front of the hat rack. She knew that it was rude to stare, but this lady drew attention. She was tall and statuesque, having the kind of figure Elizabeth knew she would never have. As the woman turned her head, so she could see her face, Elizabeth’s eyes widened. She was even more beautiful than Jane, though till that moment, Elizabeth was convinced that no one could be prettier than her sister.
She was so engrossed in observing the stranger, that only after a moment did she notice that the woman was keenly watching her as well.
She heard a soft gasp beside her, and felt Georgiana’s hand on her arm.
“Perhaps we should come another time, Lizzy,” the girl suggested, glancing nervously at the beautiful lady.
“We have only just arrived,” Elizabeth reasoned, not understanding the girl’s mood.
“Yes, but...” the girl pressed her lips tightly, her brow furrowed. “I am not feeling well,” she spoke hastily.
“You were in such high spirits before.”
“Sudden headache. I sometimes have such sudden headaches. I... I think that we should come back tomorrow.”
Elizabeth searched her sister’s face with worry. Something must have upset Georgiana deeply, as she had returned to her stuttering.
“If you wish.”
“Thank you,” Georgiana turned towards the door, almost dragging her along.
Elizabeth stopped her though. “We should tell Madame la Fleur that we cannot stay.”
Georgiana shook her head vehemently. “That is not necessary. We should go.”
Elizabeth shot her a confused look. “Georgiana, you said yourself that Madame has many clients. She may be busy with someone else tomorrow.”
She freed her arm from Georgiana’s grasp, and made her way to one of the shop assistants. As she walked, she noticed that the beautiful stranger picked one of the hats, and brought it to the counter.
“I want to have it packed and send to my home yet today,” the woman ordered. Elizabeth wondered whether she was someone important. The tone of her voice suggested that she thought very highly of herself. She was dressed beautifully.
The shop assistant glanced at the woman, before her eyes rested on Elizabeth. A shiver ran down Elizabeth’s back. There was something strange happening here, she could feel it.
The beautiful woman turned and looked directly at Elizabeth, catching her eye. “Send the bill to Mr. Darcy. As always,” she spoke loudly, before leaving the shop.
The shop went completely silent. Elizabeth stared at the floor, the woman’s last words replaying in her head. Send the bill to Mr. Darcy. As always. As always. To Mr. Darcy.
“Miss Bennet, Miss Darcy, good morning. Everything is ready,” the owner waltzed to her with a fake smile plastered on her face. “Would you care for a cup of tea before we start?”
She was pale, and her French accent was much more pronounced than usual.
“Madame la Fleur,” Elizabeth started slowly. “The woman who has just left asked to send the bill to Mr. Darcy. Is it her custom to do that?”
“I am truly in not a position to divulge such information...” the woman started uneasily.
“I see. Well, please remember, that from now on, Mr. Darcy will not pay for that lady’s purchases. Including this bonnet.” She glanced at the counter.
Madame la Fleur was silent for a long moment. “Miss Bennet, with all due respect, I am not certain whether you should...”
She was interrupted, when Georgiana’s voice was heard from behind. “There are many other shops in London. We can always go somewhere else if my sister is not satisfied with your service.”
Elizabeth turned her head to look at the girl. Where was the shy Georgiana she knew? That cold, haughty tone, that condescending look. She looked so much like Darcy when he had his mind set on intimidating someone.
The woman’s eyes darted to Georgiana, and after a moment of hesitation, she nodded, a smile plastered back on her face.
“Of course. That lady is not our client anymore.”
“Excellent,” Georgiana spoke confidently. “We wish to see the dresses that were to be finished for today. We will take them with us.”
The owner walked away, and Elizabeth whispered frantically. “I cannot stay here, not now, not after that.”
The girl nodded, her expression sympathetic. “Wait for me in the carriage. I will be back in a few minutes. I will excuse us.”
Elizabeth stormed out of the shop. Darcy’s servants were next to her instantly, helping her into the carriage. As she waited for Georgiana, she concentrated on keeping her composure. She was in the open carriage, and anyone could see her. She could not cry here, no matter how much she wanted.
Thankfully, Georgiana returned soon, a shop assistant following her with arms full of parcels. They were taken from her by the servant, while Georgiana climbed into carriage, sitting opposite Elizabeth.
The girl touched her hand with her own. “Oh, Lizzy,” she said only.
Elizabeth took a shaky breath, and dared to look up.
“She is not your relative.”
“No, she is not,” the girl whispered, biting down her lip, “but, it is in the past; I am certain of that. Brother loves you so much. She does not mean anything to him.”
“Means nothing to him, but he pays for her clothes?” she exclaimed with pain.
“I am certain that there is a way to explain this. It must all be a misunderstanding. It must be. He loves you so much,” she repeated.
Elizabeth looked her right in the eye. “You recognized her from the beginning, as soon as we entered. That is why you did not wish for us to stay there.”
The girl nodded.
“How did you learn who she was?”
Georgiana shrugged. “I am not as naive as my brother likes to perceive me. I saw her for the first time over a year ago in this very shop. I noticed that she was looking at me strangely. My companion at that time, Mrs. Younge, thought nothing of that though. Then I accidently listened to the conversation between the Madame’s assistants. They gossiped and laughed, finding it very amusing that a sister and a lover were in the shop at the same time. I met her one more time when I came for fittings a few weeks later. She looked at me again and smiled, but said nothing. I have never seen her since then, though I remembered her well.”
“I am not surprised. Such a face is hard to forget. She is strikingly beautiful,” Elizabeth spoke, seemingly without emotion. “Did you tell your brother about that encounter?”
Georgiana shook her head. “There was no need. Nor did I find it necessary to shop somewhere else to avoid her. Madame la Fleur offers all the latest fashions and has delightful ideas when it comes to cut and colour. Her hats are the best in London.”
Elizabeth only nodded. She stared in front of herself with unseeing eyes.
“I was so relieved when Brother fell in love with you. You are so different than that woman. He loves only you,” Georgiana assured ardently.