by Ola Wegner
“I am surprised myself with this newly emerged trait of my character,” Darcy admitted dryly.
“Elizabeth must be truly a most interesting woman,” the colonel mused, “A few months ago, you thought that you were making her a great honour by proposing, and you could not believe that she might actually not want you. Now you are delivering to me the speech on how unworthy you are of her.”
An unpleasant scowl twisted Darcy’s handsome features. “I can see that I serve as a source of great amusement to you.”
Colonel Fitzwilliam reached to slap his arm soundly. “No need to agonize yourself over this. You should simply tell her.”
Darcy frowned. “Tell her what?”
“What you told me, that you are ashamed of your past, but you cannot change it, that you will make sure your children will not repeat your mistakes, and that you want her to love the real you.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
Darcy crossed his arms over his chest. “I will not make a fool of myself in front of her. Again.”
“I think that she would appreciate your sincerity.”
Darcy shook his head. “No.”
“Then you have to be patient and attentive, and she will repay you with the same... in time,” his cousin advised.
“I feel as if I am stepping on very thin ice around her,” Darcy spoke with a sigh. “I am never certain how she will react to some matters, and Georgiana...”
“What about her?”
“She gave me an ultimatum. Can you believe that? When the whole affair with Annette came to light, my sweet baby sister threatened to leave me and move in with your parents if I do not make my peace with Elizabeth.”
“Well... well,” Colonel Fitzwilliam chuckled.
“What?”
“Do you realize what it means for you? You will have nothing to say in your own household with Georgiana and Elizabeth cavorting and conspiring together.”
Darcy hesitated before answering. “I wanted them to become friends; I wished for it. I simply did not expect it to happen so quickly.”
“All in all, I think you should be glad Georgiana has taken such a strong liking to Elizabeth. Imagine the alternative - my mother and sister-in-law for example. They dislike each other strongly, and that will never change. There is no such thing as a pleasant evening at Matlock when they are both in residence. You can cut the air with a knife because of the tension these two create. I feel for my father and brother.”
Darcy nodded. “True, true. They are better fast friends than otherwise, even if it means them plotting against me.”
Suddenly Colonel Fitzwilliam exclaimed. “Cheer up, Darcy! Your innocent bride to be and your baby sister crossed paths with your ex mistress, which resulted in some trouble to you, but in the end, you will have exactly what you wished for. You will be married to a woman you picked for yourself. Not everyone has such a luxury, if I may remind you. Every girl I fancy is too poor to take her into consideration. First Elizabeth and now her sister.”
Darcy went all rigid. “What do you mean Elizabeth?”
Colonel Fitzwilliam shrugged. “I am only saying that if I were in your shoes, I would not be dragging my feet for months before proposing to her, inventing poor excuses.”
“My doubts concerning our union were perfectly justifiable, at least I saw them as such at that time,” Darcy offered proudly. “As for yourself, even if you had the means to make Elizabeth an offer, you have no guarantee that she would have accepted you,” Darcy answered spitefully.
“Neither do you,” the other man spoke with a calm smile. “If not for a tragic situation in her family, if her father was still living, would she have agreed? You said it yourself; she is doing her duty to her mother and younger sisters.
Darcy’s eyes narrowed. “Thank you for reminding me.”
“Do not worry,” the colonel said in a gentler voice. “I would never have pursued Elizabeth knowing how much you care for her. Her sister, Jane, is a different matter though.”
“You cannot afford to marry Jane. You two could live a modest, still comfortable life, but your children? What future would they have? You would have to marry your daughters to farmers, and sons... you would not be able to afford introducing them in the right professions.”
“I am aware of that; however... there would be a chance, perhaps, for improving my financial status.”
“I am glad to hear it,” Darcy assured with sincerity. “May I ask how you plan to achieve it?”
Colonel smiled. “Were you not surprised that my parents were so accepting of your marriage?”
Darcy hesitated. “Yes, still I do not see the connection.”
“You do not? My father is secretly glad that you antagonised Aunt Catherine so much. Are you aware that she changed her will?”
Darcy gave him a blank stare. “She did?”
“Yes. Until recently, you were to inherit Rosings Park in case of her and Anne’s deaths.”
“I was?”
“Of course. You did not know?”
Darcy shook his head and asked, “Aunt Catherine wants you to marry Anne?”
“No, I doubt that Anne is fit to marry anyone. Father said that she would probably not survive the next winter.”
“Is she really that ill? I have always thought that her numerous ailments were just her mother’s invention.”
“It is confirmed. Anne is in the last stage of tuberculosis. Father thinks that our aunt will be willing to give Rosings to me. She has no other living relatives than us. It is said, as well, that the estate is not in the very best state, that under the right management, it could run at a much higher profit.”
“Poor Anne. She was not my favourite relative; still, to die so young, before her life has even begun. Although I must say that I am quite happy for you.”
“Yes, but the whole matter may take years. I am not certain whether Jane would wish to wait that long,” Colonel Fitzwilliam wondered worriedly.
“You truly fancy Jane that much?” Darcy marvelled. “You barely know her. You have seen her twice.”
“I am one and thirty. I know what I want. She is perfect for me: kind, beautiful. I have known enough women to recognize a jewel when I have one in front of me. Tell me, did you ever doubt Elizabeth’s character, integrity and intelligence when you first met her?”
“Never.”
“You have your answer. There is a matter of Bingley too... I have no way of knowing how close they are. Could you ask Elizabeth about it?”
“Elizabeth thinks that Jane cares deeply for Bingley,” Darcy explained. “Still, I always found Jane very difficult to read. They are not engaged, and even if they were, the wedding would not take place soon because of their mourning. Jane seems very proper, and she puts a great deal to such matters. I would say that you have time. I would also advise you to have an honest conversation with Jane about your intentions. She is a very sensible and reasonable woman, as far as I have observed. Plus Elizabeth thinks highly of you and likes you,” he grimaced visibly saying the last words. “I believe that she would encourage a union between you too. Sisters are very close. They rely on each other’s opinions.”
“I will try to talk to Jane tomorrow at the dinner.”
“I think it is a good idea. If there is no hope, Jane will tell you so. She is not one to play games. What will you do next?”
“Father says that I should take a leave from the army and go to Rosings. Aunt plans to go with Anne to Bath, hoping to repair her health. She will need some help with the estate during her absence. As soon as I deliver Georgiana to Matlock after your wedding, I will travel to Kent.”
“You should go. Such an occasion does not happen twice in a lifetime. I am more than happy to play the role of the ungrateful nephew. I will not even write to Aunt Catherine asking about Anne’s health. Let her think the very worst of me.”
“Thank you, Darcy,” Colonel Fitzwilliam said with sincerity.
“To be truthful, I canno
t see you marrying Jane. I think she will agree to Bingley’s proposal. It is a safer option for her. Bingley seems quite taken with her. Nevertheless, I would wish for us to have sisters for wives.” Darcy looked his cousin in the eye. “You are a brother to me, Richard, the one I never had.”
The other man, taken aback with the confession, did not answer immediately. “Thank you. I dare say that Elizabeth has changed you, softened you.”
Darcy flashed him a small smile. “Do not dare tell anyone.”
***
“How horrible, Lizzy.” Jane spoke with feeling as Elizabeth finished her tale of how she and Georgiana had encountered Annette in the shop.
“I have never suffered such humiliation in my life,” Elizabeth admitted, closing her eyes. “I do not wish to even remember that day.”
Mrs. Gardiner, who was seated at her other side, rubbed her back reassuringly. “Poor child. It is truly too much to bear in your situation.”
“I will never return to that shop. Never!” Elizabeth swore. “They are still sending things for me from there, and I do not wish to even look at them, not to mention wear them.” She smoothed the skirt of her old gown.
“They are only clothes, sister,” Jane pointed out.
“I must agree with Jane,” Mrs. Gardiner supported. “They are all very beautiful, the gowns, hats, gloves, shoes and underclothes... everything.”
Elizabeth shook her head stubbornly. “I will not even touch them. They will remind me of that... that woman.”
“Lizzy, I can only imagine how you feel, but please give this a second thought,” Mrs. Gardiner reasoned. “You cannot go down the aisle in one of your old dresses, dyed black at home. Your wedding dress is perfect for the occasion.”
Elizabeth stared at the offending garment, hanging on the hook on the door to her room. Her aunt was right, the dress was a modest grey-lilac adorned with black lace, with matching hat, spenser, gloves and shoes. The cut was the latest fashion with the shockingly high waist starting just under the bosom line. She was sure that no one in Meryton wore anything like that. Even in London, she had seen only a few similar dresses.
“Mr. Darcy spent a great deal of money on your new wardrobe,” her aunt continued. “Not to mention the effort and time that Georgiana and I put into choosing the right materials and patterns which would suit you the best.”
Elizabeth looked down at her hands, saying nothing.
“You cannot allow that cunning woman to influence your life, and if you refuse to wear those gowns, you will give her that privilege.” Jane said.
“I cannot agree more with that,” Mrs. Gardiner supported in a strong voice. “Mr. Darcy loves you, and he chose you, not her, and not any other. You should raise your head high, and concentrate on building a happy life for yourself as well as him.”
Chapter Twenty
The night before her wedding day, Elizabeth slept for two hours only. She retired early enough to allow herself eight hours of good rest; however, she tossed and turned in bed for most of the night. As a result, she fell asleep shortly before dawn.
In the morning, she looked far from a radiant bride. The few pounds she had lost after her father’s funeral, she had not gained back, and her usually slim frame was even thinner. It worried her, because Darcy had made himself clear that he would like to see more flesh on her body. She was pale and had dark circles under her eyes. Aunt Gardiner had attempted to cover them with rice powder, but it was to no avail.
Since she had risen at seven, all seemed to be a blur of small events: bathing, dressing, pinning up her long hair in an elaborate style, trying to swallow some breakfast with little success. Before she knew it, she was in front of the church and walking down the aisle supported on her uncle’s arm.
As they were announced man and wife, Darcy leaned over to kiss her mouth gently, his hand on her cheek. Then she was outside, Darcy’s strong hold on her arm keeping her close to him. She received congratulations and embraces from Jane, Georgiana and her aunt. Next Uncle Gardiner hugged her, whispering into her ear that she would always have a home with them.
From the corner of her eye, she registered Darcy vigorously shaking hands with Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Gardiner, a wide grin gracing his face. Soon she was in the carriage, opposite her husband.
“Elizabeth, my love,” he spoke softly, and she looked at him, perhaps for the first time that day.
“Yes,” she answered in a voice which sounded as though it did not belonging to her.
He moved to sit next to her, his arm coming around her. “You are so pale, love.”
“I could not sleep the entire night,” she explained.
“You can sleep now,” he said. “We have many miles to cover today.”
She nodded, supporting her forehead against his arm.
He removed her bonnet and gloves, kissing her hands and then her forehead.
“Lean against me and close your eyes,” he spoke soothingly, pulling her closer.
She did as he asked. She was not sure whether she was in a state to carry a meaningful conversation.
She did not remember the exact moment she fell asleep; however, all too soon he was shaking her gently, telling her to wake up.
“We need to stop for the change of horses,” he explained the obvious as he waited for her to put her bonnet and gloves back on before leaving the coach. Even though it was sunny in London, here the sky was drawn with heavy clouds.
They entered the large, crowded inn where they were told that all the private rooms were taken. An unpleasant scowl appeared instantly on Darcy’s face, and he was nothing but rude to the owner.
She tugged at the sleeve of his coat as they were being led to a quiet corner at the back of the large common area. “I do not mind staying here.”
His jaw line turned sharp as he answered loudly enough for others to hear him, “I reserved a private room in advance. It is outrageous how we are treated.”
As they sat at the table, she reached to take his hand. His expression softened as he raised her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles. “There is no reason to be upset about this. I prefer to stay in the common room; it is much more interesting, so many people to watch.”
He attempted a smile. “You are very gracious.”
A very flustered girl appeared by the table, ready to take their order. Elizabeth had no appetite. Still, knowing that Darcy would be displeased with her not eating, she asked for tea and a slice of pie.
“Perhaps you would wish for something else, some soup, or meat?”
She shook her head. “I never eat much when travelling,” she explained quietly, and to her relief he did not try to convince her to order more.
She drank her tea and ate her apple pie, while he attacked what he had on his plate; cold ham with sauce, some vegetables and pudding. He added soup and some tarts to it. He had always had an unchangeable voracious appetite, and usually devoured during one meal what she could eat through the entire day.
They were back on the road in an hour. Darcy was pleased with their progress, being certain that they would be at the inn where they were to spend the night well before dark. He tried to start the conversation several times, but she was too nervous to talk.
She was so distracted with her own thoughts, that only when they reached the inn where they were to spend the night, did she realize that they were not on the road north but to the south. She waited till they were left alone in their rooms before she asked for an explanation.
“Where are we going?” she questioned him, alarmed.
He smiled. “It is a surprise.”
“Where are we going?” she repeated harshly.
“To Hove, a mile from Hove actually.”
Her eyes widened. “Hove? Near Brighton?”
He pulled her closer to him. “For our honeymoon. I rented a small cottage outside Hove for two weeks.”
“I thought we were to go to Pemberley,” she said slowly, looking up at him, trying to decipher his expression.
He was giving her an expectant look, obviously waiting for the praise; however, he was met only with a frown.
“You have not mentioned a word of it to me. You led me believe we were to go to Pemberley right after the wedding.”
He shrugged his arms defensively. “It was supposed to be a surprise. How could I mention it to you?”
Her eyes narrowed. “Will our future life look like that? With you making decisions behind my back, expecting me to calmly accept them without any concern for my wishes and desires?” she questioned angrily.
“I do not understand…” He blinked repeatedly. “I wished to please you. You mentioned you never had been to the seaside. Therefore I thought you would be pleased with my gift.”
Elizabeth closed her eyes, taking a long breath. “I appreciate your concern. Still, I would prefer, in the future, to be at least informed about your plans, especially when you include me in them. I think that I deserve that, at least, as your wife.”
“You deserve nothing less.” He nodded. “I see that you do not favour surprises though.”
“It is not about me not liking surprises,” she protested, striving to remain calm. “I understand that you have made all decisions by yourself from the early age, but I ask you to take me into consideration from this point on.”
It was his turn to frown. “I do take you into consideration. I do everything with you in mind,” he murmured defensively.
“Like taking me to the other end of England without a word of warning, not to mention asking my opinion?” she cried fiercely.
A familiar scowl graced his features. “It was supposed to be a surprise.”
Elizabeth lowered her head, clenching her hands together. “I only ask you not to decide on behalf of me when it comes to matters which concern my person,” she said quietly.
“Of course,” he agreed stiffly. “As you wish.”