Because I’m lonely. Because I want to. Because you’re all I have. Even if I didn’t want you. I inhaled him. The whiskey and smoke clinging to his shirt combined to remind me of home, and those times I felt most alive. He saved my life because he saw some worth in me. I pulled back from his neck, my hair falling like a shield as I kissed his open mouth. I needed this. I wanted this.
He seemed surprised with my eagerness. His lips moved almost as if he asked a question, but I devoured it. My fingers twined in his hair, becoming more and more entangled, and then I bit his lip hard and he chuckled into my mouth, kissing me back while his hands squeezed me.
Cain pulled away and held me away from him, his face flushed. I was pleased to see that he looked unnerved.
“What game are you playing?”
“I’m not playing you,” I stammered.
“You’re not broken. So why are you—”
“Do I need to be broken to want you? Or do you like fucking dead-eyed whores?”
“It’s not like that,” he said in a sharp voice.
My voice softened. “You could have let me die, but you didn’t. Thank you.”
He swallowed and for once his eyes lost the ruthlessness that hardened every other feature. He looked utterly lost and I felt something for him. When I kissed him again, his lips were almost soft.
“I didn’t do it out of kindness, Julia. I am not a good man.”
I know.
The hard look returned when I smiled at him. “I just want to help you.”
I was sure that Cain had probably never dealt with something like this before. No woman had ever willingly followed his orders. Fear was a strange emotion on Cain's face. He was used to torturing people until their souls broke. Until they lost all sense of self and only lived to please their master.
“I’m not sure that I’m into this.”
I smiled and reached down to grab his hard cock. “I’m pretty sure that you are.”
His eyes blazed. He grabbed the red tube that sat on the bathroom counter. “I want you to take this.”
My breath caught in my throat. It was a drug I never tried, a drug that could very well kill me.
“What’s wrong?” he asked with mock concern. “I thought you said you wanted to help me?”
“I’ll do it, if that’s what you want,” I said in a small voice.
“It is.”
I winced at the chill emanating from his voice. He unscrewed the tube, watching me carefully, and removed the dropper. “Open your pretty eyes and don’t move.”
My body trembled as his thumb opened my eye. The dropper hovered over me and my eyelids wanted to shut. Coolness spread over my eyeball as the red liquid momentarily blurred my vision. I blinked. He did the other eye and set the drug aside, waiting, watching me. I looked at him and shrugged, feeling nothing, but then Cain's lips moved and I saw him spell out with extraordinary slowness. “What…do…you…feel?”
I stood up from his lap and the motion felt like it took at least five seconds. “Whoa.”
A surge of energy soared through my veins, more powerful than anything I ever experienced.
I can do anything. Anything. I could kill him right now, if I wanted to.
He smirked at me, or I saw a shadow of a smirk on his face, so I lashed out with my right fist and struck his irritating fucking face.
His face furious, he lunged for my arms but I saw the movement easily and stepped aside. He was laughably slow, but the bathroom was too small to move quickly. Then he pinned me against the wall, my arms on either side of my head.
“Yeah, that’s it. Fight back,” he hissed in my ear.
I aimed a knee towards his balls, but he dodged me, swearing colorfully. Screaming, I launched my head forward. He could barely keep me constrained. It was as though fury was driving me. I wanted to kill him. He dragged me out of the bathroom and into his bedroom as I twisted madly in his grasp. The knife on his nightstand gleamed brightly. I dove for it but he yanked me back.
“That’s it, baby,” he whispered. “Try to fucking kill me.”
His cock rubbed against my bare ass. I don’t know how the fuck he did it, but he managed to restrain me while he ripped off his jeans. The anger and madness ebbed, leaving emptiness in its wake. I felt myself returning back. The frenzied energy disappeared but every movement was still delayed. I felt slightly sick as I watched Cain move from side to side. Fucking bastard. He flipped me around and shoved my back down so that my torso laid on the bed. Gripping both of my wrists with one hand, he used the other to grope my ass. He slipped down my thigh and curled around to dip a finger into my pussy.
“Fuck, you’re wet,” he said in a harsh whisper.
“Cain, you can let my hands go.” I stroked the hand holding me with a finger and his grip loosened. He probably waited for me to turn around and my hands twitched inside them, as if they waited for the opportunity.
I moaned as his cock slowly spread me open and I doubled over as he thrust hard. His hands let me go, but there was no way I could escape him. I gripped the bed as he held my hips, rutting me deep. The drug made my skin extremely sensitive.
I felt the hairs on his legs against mine, tickling me as he pulled back and thrust back in. My pussy clenched around his cock as it stabbed my depths, drawing a painful moan from my throat. He slammed into me as his hands gripping my waist, yanked me back against him, our flesh smacking against each other. His hand ripped down on my flesh, burning me like a second smack.
Jesus Christ.
Unsatisfied with that, he withdrew from me and turned me around so that I could see every inch of his ivory colored skin. It was stained with dozens of tattoos, but his arousal made his chest flush red. I backed onto the bed as Cain climbed over me. His eyebrows knitted down and his eyes narrowed into dangerous slits. My hands glided over his shoulders as my legs wrapped around his waist. His torso moved forward and he entered me swiftly, his normally expressionless face contorted. Fuck, he felt good. His hands slid up my waist and grabbed my tits, squeezing them as he plowed into me.
Every inch of him was determined to dig deep. He pulsed in and out, always slamming forward with a merciless thrust. It struck me deep inside, vibrating to my clit, which burned with desire. I tightened my fingers around his neck, wanting him closer. He grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head. I struggled to get out from him and noticed that his pace quickened and his breathing became more ragged. He likes it.
I threw my whole body into resisting him, hoping that he would soften if I did what he wanted. I screamed. I arched my back and twisted my body, even trying to shove him off with my legs. He lifted my hands over my head and smiled widely; almost gleefully happy with the power he had over me. I was completely at his mercy. Subject to his every whim. I was fucking wet.
My protests grew feeble because every thrust of his hips made me moan. The fact that I was helpless under him excited me. His cock drove deep into me, his face burrowed in my neck as his weight kept me completely pinned. Lifting his head, he looked angry again, and gathered both hands in one fierce grip as the other played with my tits. The bedroom echoed with my gasps and his deep, male grunts. His hand curved over my tits and stopped over my throat. And held me lightly.
The pressure increased. It was uncomfortable to have his hand wrapped around my throat, but I could still breathe easily. I was riding high, so close to an orgasm. Cain thrust above me, his powerful body out of reach. He pinched his fingers into my skin, slowly closing my throat of air. I couldn’t move my hands. It was like breathing through a straw. I choked. I couldn’t form words.
His face transformed. Ecstasy melted all over his face as he choked me, his cock stabbing me like a knife, rocking pleasure through my body. Panic descended over me as black spots appeared at the edge of my vision, but I was weak. Suddenly, he released his thumb and I grabbed a lungful of air. No sooner had he replaced his thumb, robbing me of air. He bent over me, still holding my throat as his cock jabbed my g-spot. The air
from my throat disappeared again and I almost felt high. Then a wave of pleasure crashed over me and I felt like I was spinning. My muscles clenched over his pulsing cock and he uttered a yell that sounded almost painful, but I was still fading away.
It never felt so good.
CAIN
With my cock buried inside her and my hand still around her throat, I didn’t even notice that she passed out. All I focused on was the glorious feeling of filling her cunt with my cum. I looked down at her, my arms trembling, and saw her unnaturally still body. I relinquished my hold around her throat. A sharp feeling cut through the ecstasy flowing through my cock.
“Shit.” I prodded her. “Julia!”
How long did she lay there, unable to breathe? A jumpy feeling enveloped my body, making me feel sick. As I lowered my lips over hers to breathe life into her, I realized that I didn’t want her to die. It was like having a new toy ripped away too soon. I breathed into her and her chest pulsed.
Dammit.
She stirred as I breathed into her a second time. I couldn’t lose her. Not yet. I hovered an inch above her, waiting for her to cry.
Instead, her deep blue eyes found mine and she smiled.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.” Surprisingly, I realized that I meant it.
I didn’t want to destroy her, I couldn’t get enough of her. I felt like I sampled a dangerous new drug that would make me spiral into addiction. I wanted to do it again—choke her harder, whip her perfect flesh until blood ran down her sides, handcuff her, fuck her.
She would probably let me. That was the most disturbing and exciting part of it all. No one ever chose out of free will to be with me. Why would they?
She shrugged and looked at me, still not quite looking like she was alive. I kissed her pretty mouth, waiting to feel something. Kissing felt pleasant to me, like sunbathing, but I didn’t quite understand the allure.
Julia stroked my body, running her hands over my chest and over my shoulders to grasp my neck and pull me closer. She kissed me, her tiny lips pulling and sucking at mine, devouring me with the same hunger she displayed in the bathroom.
I don’t understand it, but I love it. I craved her emotion. I could almost feel it.
She pulled away. “I’m sorry I hit you. That drug made me insane.”
I smiled, remembering how her right hook caught the side of my face. I had worse. “The effects didn’t last long.”
I was stunned by how fast she was, how powerful her rage was.
“It was crazy. Everything slowed down and I felt really pissed off. I wanted to kill you.”
“I want to try it.”
Her round eyes told me that she didn’t want me to. “Not around me.”
We’ll see.
I rolled off her body and eyed my nightstand. In the drawer was a small bag of coke, which I took out and dumped over a small mirror. I heard the bed move slightly as she lifted herself to see what I was doing. I did a line. My senses were sharper. Rubbing my nose, I handed the mirror to her and she bent over it without hesitation.
* * *
When I woke up the next morning, I felt her fingers tracing the dragon tattoo on my chest. My eyes opened to bright sunlight filtering through the shades, over the bed where Julia’s naked body was halfway concealed under the white sheets. I felt her curves pressed against my side and her head lay on my chest.
Her hair gleamed in the light and I reached up, my fingers threading her hair. Stroking the long tresses, I looked over my new toy. She kissed my chest when she felt me stir and I vividly remembered the feeling of her lips pressed against mine. She lifted her head and smiled at me.
I didn’t understand this woman, unless everything she did was out of self-preservation.
I never had an experience like this. I had women in my bed, of course, but they never stayed the night. Certainly, I never woke up with one in my arms. It was fine, I guess. Curious. As usual, my heart beat in my chest like a hollow drum.
“Morning.”
She nuzzled my neck and kissed me below my ear. The sensation of her lips on that sensitive area made me drag my nails over her back.
What the hell does she want from me? Why is she doing this?
It was driving me nuts that I couldn’t figure her out. “Aren’t you upset about your dead husband?”
The smile disappeared from her face and I felt satisfied that I could still control her moods.
“I don’t want to think about it.”
But her eyes weren’t shining with tears. There was regret but no grief. Suddenly, I considered that maybe I’d finally found someone who was like me.
“Your behavior doesn’t make fucking sense to me.”
“I wasn’t happy with him,” she uttered finally.
She fell to the side of the bed and stared at a point over my shoulder. Her eyes gleamed like sapphires and tears slipped down her flushed face. She was even more beautiful when she cried.
I swept her into my arms because sometimes this calmed them. I felt stupid for thinking that she might have been like me.
No, I knew that I would never meet anyone as highly evolved as me. Her arms wrapped around my waist in a vice grip as she flattened her face against my chest. She wasn’t a loud crier and for that I was grateful. I could not fucking stomach the loud, gulping sobs.
It was so disgusting to watch—so pathetic.
“I’m sorry,” she moaned.
I stroked her soft skin, my fingertips trailing from her shoulder to the curve of her hips. “I’ll let you cry. Just this once.”
She looked at me again when her shaking subsided. “Cain, thank you for saving me. I knew one day they’d find me, but I never thought I’d be spared. It’s all down to you.”
I never did it for her. I did it for myself. “Julia, if you hadn’t stolen money from the club and I met you around here, I still would have murdered your husband to get you.” I gripped her chin. “And you would still be my little toy.”
The sleepy happiness disappeared from her face. I shattered her image of me. Good.
The rest of the morning was a haze of fucking and cocaine. Julia did line after line, and I wondered if it was a mistake to let her. I wasn’t satisfied with what we had. I wanted to break her, but she did whatever I wanted willingly. My hands itched as I drove back to the clubhouse with her arms wrapped around me. I needed to kill something.
I’ll just push her harder and harder until finally she resists me.
A part of me wondered why the hell I was so fucked up that I couldn’t just let a woman suck my cock. It was like handing over control to another person. There was nothing wrong with that, it just didn’t excite me. Well, that wasn’t true. It was satisfying in a completely different way, but my need to completely dominate another person was not satisfied.
“Why are you taking me to the club?”
Julia’s low voice interrupted my thoughts as I weaved around the countryside towards the clubhouse.
“Because I don’t trust that you won’t run off.”
“Cain, where would I go?”
I knew she had nowhere to go, but I didn’t trust her yet. It didn’t make sense to me. Why would she want to stay here?
“How am I supposed to clean and cook for you when I’m not at the house?”
A burst of laughter left my mouth as I throttled forward. “That’s what you want to do?”
“No,” she admitted, “but I’m your old lady.”
“I could care less about that shit.”
I didn’t want an old lady who only knew how to cook and clean. I wanted her because—well, because I wanted to bang her. But it was more than that, now.
She was a prize that I caught and I was going to keep her. All mine. She was talented and she was going to work for the club. I wanted an equal as my old lady. Someone who would make me look even better.
Cooking and cleaning. Who the fuck cares? I can do that myself.
I made her dress in a leather cat suit that she co
mplained was uncomfortable. She looked like sex on legs. The leather stuck to her body like a second skin, exposing the perfect curve of her ass and dipping low enough so that I could lick her gorgeous tits. When she put it on, I got hard and she immediately bent to her knees, taking my cock into her little red mouth. I fucked her mouth and made her swallow every drop. Christ, I could feel my cock stiffening just thinking about how hot it had been.
As we arrived, Spike’s jaw dropped as Julia slid from the bike. I smiled at Spike’s reaction and told her to go inside. We watched her walk inside, her long golden hair bouncing on the patent leather cat suit. He turned to me with a pained look on his face.
“Jesus Christ. I hope you realize that you don’t deserve that.” He said it with a small smirk to soften the bitterness in his voice.
“She’s something, isn’t she?”
I went inside with Spike trailing behind me. I had a feeling that Crash needed me—that the Tigers might retaliate for our little adventure yesterday. My old lady stood near the pool table, smoking a cigarette. I slid next to her and wrapped my arm around her waist. Her body eased into mine and my dick tingled as her ass curved into my body. I could see the eyes of a dozen jealous men watching us. I kissed her, inhaling the smoke furling around her, trying to stamp down my desire to fuck her over the pool table.
“Stay here. Play pool or help the girls.”
“Help the girls?” A smile twitched on her face. “I hope you don’t mean to pass me around.”
My hands twitched as I thought of her straddling another man’s waist. “I’m not the sharing type.”
“Do you have more blow?”
Fuck, I was afraid of this. Her red-rimmed eyes stared back at me. “No. You need to learn how to do things in moderation.”
“Says the guy who enjoys torturing women.”
I pinched her bubble ass hard enough to make her yelp. “Don’t sass me or I’ll lock you back in the dungeon.”
The smile evaporated from her face. I didn’t like the way she talked to me. She still feared what I did to her, but she didn’t fear me.
I remembered her screaming about rats in the cell I locked her inside—rats that never existed. I filed away this important bit of information in my head and walked towards Crash, who sat at the bar.
Ruthless (Dark MC Romance) Page 7