by Finch, Fanny
He was not a child anymore and did not seek his father’s approval for everything he did, as he had done when he was a young boy. He was a grown man and needed to make his own decisions. Especially about something as important as spending his life with a woman.
He needed to make the decision on his own. He did not need his father directing his life.
He forced himself to calm down as he walked from the house to the path across the lawn and into the garden. He had always been impressed with the way his father arranged the front of the house but the beauty of the sculptures, statues and shrubs escaped him.
His father’s words were cutting. In his own way, he knew his father only meant the best. But there had to be a time when he let go of his son and let him make his own decisions.
This would prove to be one of the most important things in his life. He had to make the decision himself. He was determined to.
He sat on a bench and lowered his head to his hands. He was oblivious to the cool breeze that swept past him, the sounds of the birds in the trees above him, the rippling water of the fountain in the middle of the garden. He had to find a way to make his father understand.
He distracted himself by wondering who had been telling his father everything he’d been doing. Who was at the house party that was watching so closely they noticed his behavior toward Miss Drusilla was not exactly loving? Who had seen him glancing at Hestia thinking it was Lady Eugenia and then reporting it back to the Earl of Coventry?
The only person besides his mother who knew where he went and when was Toby.
Leander thought about the footman for a moment. He’d never suspected Toby of anything in the past. He’d had no reason to. Could the footman be mistakenly keeping the Earl of Coventry up to date on his whereabouts or was he spying on purpose?
Leander shook his head. There were other people aware of his schedule. The coachman, the groomsman, there were plenty of servants who shared information for one purpose or another.
His thoughts led him to Miss Drusilla and back to his dilemma with his father. Through it all, he saw Hestia’s face, floating in the back of his mind. Seeing her smile at something Lady Eugenia said, hearing the faint sound of her laughter in the air when he was nearby.
He felt like he had known her for a very long time and just realized how attracted he was to her. But he had not moved in her social circles last season. He had determined that with a little research, asking friends.
He had also looked into her family history. He had to mention the Earl of Nottingham but one time before someone he knew had something to say about him. He’d been referred from one person to another until he got a clear view of the Earl of Nottingham and his gambling habits.
That coupled with his terrible business decisions had spelled certain doom for the money he inherited from the death of his father and grandfather. Their name had once been prominent in this part of London but no more.
Leander did not feel sorry for Hestia. He admired her courage, leaving the family behind and gaining employment elsewhere. He thought it represented a thoughtful, forward-looking person. She was less interested in finding a husband to save her from poverty and much more interested in making her own way in the world.
For a woman, that was an honorable pursuit. He did not blame her at all.
A smile crossed his face and he realized he was staring at the fountain as the cherub poured the water from the pitcher. He had been so deep in thought, he wasn’t really seeing what he was looking at.
On the other side of the cherub fountain, a fawn had emerged from the shrubs. He watched as it moved its head left to right. Just as quickly, it was gone, disappearing through the thick leaves.
He blinked a few times, wondering if the little fawn was a sign. He looked up at the sky, raising his eyebrows. “Was that you, God? Are you telling me something?”
He lowered his eyes and saw movement on the veranda to his right. He looked over and saw his mother coming out of the house. She looked around the front lawn and peered over the railing down at the stables. She turned and moved toward him.
When she saw him, she lifted one hand and waved. He lifted his hand in greeting. She started down the stairs.
Leander felt a sinking feeling. He was not finished thinking things through. Now, he would have to be cordial to his mother, who had done nothing wrong. He scooted over on the bench to give her room to sit down.
It took her a minute to get to him. It was long enough for him to quickly decide what he was going to tell his mother. How much of it did she need to know? He did not want to tell her much.
But how could she give him good advice if she did not know everything?
The closer she got the harder his heart beat in his chest. He was certain she was on his side and did not want him to marry a woman for her money or business contacts. He braced himself for a confrontation with her, though he knew he was merely preparing to do emotional battle with her.
She always had a way of making him see the other side of things. He hated knowing she was explaining things to him because she was wiser, she was opening his eyes to what he could not see.
On the other hand, if it was not for her, he would not be the independent thinker he was. He had always known he could trust her with anything.
He sharpened his eyes, looking at his approaching mother closely.
Was she the one telling his father everything? Was she actually encouraging his father when he was not around?
Surely not.
Surely his own mother would not be a person with two faces.
Chapter 19
The Countess of Coventry sat down on the soft cushioned seat of the bench. She patted her son on the knee.
“Leander, have you calmed yourself? How are you feeling?”
“I am fine, Mother. I do not need a babysitter.”
The Countess of Coventry shook her head. “That is not why I am here and you know it. We need to talk.”
“Yes, we do.” Leander noticed the surprised look on her face. He took advantage of it and continued on. “You will not tell Father the truth about how you feel. You are going to let him force me to marry Miss Drusilla. I do not understand why, Mother, you will not speak your mind on my behalf?”
The Countess of Coventry moved her eyes out to scan the flowers and shrubs around her. Leander continued to look directly at her.
“I simply cannot go against him, Leander. It is not my place.”
“I would think since you are the one who birthed me, you should have some say in what happens in my life.”
His mother looked back at him with gentle eyes. She tilted her head slightly and said with a soft voice, “Do you not see, Leander, how it truly is? In your family, you will make the decisions. In our family, it is your father. If I was the one to push for the wedding and he objected to it, he would ultimately win.”
“How can I get him to object to it?” Leander’s voice came out irritated. He shook his head, closing his eyes.
“Leander, you have not calmed down. You must attempt to think straight. Your father is like a bull. He will charge forward when he sees what he wants for himself or our family. I believe you carry that same spirit. When you truly decide what you want, you will not hesitate to reach out for it.”
“Mother, please. I have been thinking straight. I have decided what I want and it seems Father simply will not listen. Instead he listens to eavesdroppers and spies. I do not know who has been passing information to my father but I wish it would stop. I do not like being spied on.”
The Countess of Coventry leaned forward, looking at him. She put two gentle fingers under his chin and made him look at her. “My son, tell me the truth. Were you eyeing Lady Eugenia at the party?”
Leander looked into his mother’s eyes for only a moment. Long enough to say, “No,” and pull his chin from her fingers.
“Then why would it be said that you were?”
“I was not looking at Lady Eugenia.” Leander’s voice was fi
rm. His muscles were tense and his head was starting to hurt. The stress weighed heavy on him. “I was looking at someone else.”
The Countess of Coventry did not say anything. She just looked at him, waiting for him to finish his thought. When he said nothing, she took one of his hands in both of hers.
“Tell me, Leander. What are you thinking about?”
“I have found someone else that interests me, Mother. Someone I find so much more vibrant, filled with class and a gentle but strong nature. I hope to see her at a party this weekend but I am afraid now that what I feel will be revealed in front of Miss Drusilla and everyone in society. Wherever I go, she will be there.”
“Are you saying another woman is in your thoughts?”
“Miss Drusilla was never in my thoughts, Mother.”
“No, it seems not. Tell me more about this young woman who has caught your interest.”
Leander thought about Hestia, wondering if he could tell his mother in confidence. If he told her about his attraction to Hestia, explaining her situation as companion and her family’s destitute finances, would it sway her more toward his preference or his father’s?
He did not want to be dishonest with his mother. But he did not want to push her more toward his father’s point of view either.
“She was with Lady Eugenia,” he finally said. “She bumped into me.”
His mother raised her eyebrows and he tried to grin.
“She bumped into you?” His mother sounded so confused.
“Yes. She literally bumped into me. She was backing away from a bookshelf and did not look behind her, where I just happened to be sitting. It was quite funny when I think about it.”
“I do hope she was apologetic.”
“Oh, more than necessary, of course.” Leander nodded. “But it was her demeanor after the incident that caught my eye. It was not long after that Miss Drusilla entered the room. I was rather disheartened to see her because it meant I could not spend more time with Lady Eu…” He stopped himself but not in time.
His mother pursed her lips. “So it is Lady Eugenia.”
He shook his head. “No, Mother. It was her companion. Her name is Lady Hestia Stalwood.”
The Countess of Coventry tilted her head to the side and appeared to be searching her memory. “I do not recall the name.”
“She is one of the daughters of the Earl and Countess of Nottingham.”
His mother raised her eyebrows. “I know the Countess of Coventry. I carry no ill will toward her. It appears it is her husband that has caused the family some harm. This is the young lady you are speaking of?”
Leander nodded.
“And she is working as a companion for Lady Eugenia Callow?”
“Yes, that is my understanding.” Leander could tell by the tone of his mother’s voice, she was not altogether pleased that he was interested in a companion.
“How on earth did you have an opportunity to have a conversation with her? Is it merely her looks that attract you?”
“She bumped into me, as I said. I mistook her for… she is a lady in title but she is not acting as one at this time.”
“Her family is struggling a great deal,” the countess said. “I do know this is true. And she decided to find employment rather than a husband. You must bear that in mind, Leander, if you choose to pursue this course of action. You must realize that you are going up against not just your father’s wishes but the young lady might not be interested in marriage.”
Leander remembered the way Hestia had looked at him. He was sure she was not a dedicated spinster. She was young, beautiful, vibrant, with a good head on her shoulders and a lot of strength in her soul. He wanted to express that to his mother but held back.
“I believe she is willing to marry. She was part of the season last year but I did not attend the parties she attended. I… missed my chance.”
“Her family was little better off last year than they are this year, it is my understanding.” His mother stood up and took a few steps toward the fountain. She stood still, clutching her hands together in front of her chest, her back turned to her son.
Leander looked up at his mother’s rigid body, wondering what she was thinking. Was she very upset at the news that Leander was interested in another woman? Was she more upset that the woman he wanted had no money?
The Countess of Coventry did not turn around when she spoke but Leander could hear her voice clearly.
“When I was told I would be marrying your father, I had the same doubts you do now about Miss Drusilla,” she said.
Leander thought that was doubtful. His father and Miss Drusilla were nothing alike.
“And I stayed in my room for several days, thinking about the changes my life would have after I was married. I thought about the children, the house, what I would do with my time. I had doubts, Leander, but it was something I could not change.”
She finally turned and looked at him with pleading eyes. “You must consider the family before anything else, my son. I know you are a stubborn man and when you set your eyes on something you desire, you will pursue it. You are like your father in that.”
Leander dropped his eyes to his hands, which he clasped in front of him when he sat forward. He rested his elbows on his knees and stared at the grass beneath his feet.
The countess came back to him and stood in front of him. She placed one hand on his downturned head and patted his dark hair. “Leander, when I was having my doubts about your father, I considered running away. And I talked to my mother about it. She told me this and I’ve never forgotten it to this day. When a man has the time to grow to truly love a woman, he will love her with everything he has and never stop.”
Leander’s first thought was how much he wanted to grow to love Hestia with everything he had in his heart.
“You must think of both women when you are making your decision, Leander. Ultimately, it will be up to you to decide between the women.”
“Mother, I do not know that there is a decision left to be made. You know I do not feel I am compatible with Miss Drusilla. And Lady Hestia’s presence captivates me. I do not have a decision left to make.”
“Oh but you do.” His mother sat where she had been and leaned forward to look at his eyes directly. “You may know which woman you would prefer to be with but you have to decide between your family’s well-being and what you want to do. That is a very important decision.”
“Mother, I do not want to disappoint you and Father.”
The Countess of Coventry nodded. “Then you realize the importance of this decision. I do wish for your happiness, my son. There are certain sacrifices we all must make in life. You must keep that in mind.”
“Yes, Mother,” Leander replied, his voice low. He stood up. “We should go back inside. We will see what happens at the party this weekend. I will make a decision by that night if I can. Please, if you would, do not say anything to Father about Lady Hestia. I would like to be the one to talk to him about it, when the time is right.”
His mother stood and put one hand on his lapel. “See that you do, son. I would hate for the decision to be made for you. In the end, there can really only be one choice and you are the one who must live with it.”
Leander followed his mother back down the trail to the front veranda. He opened the door for her when they went in. His chest felt tight with apprehension. His father was not going to back off his point of view.
There must be a way to change his mind, Leander thought, following his mother to the door of the parlor. He stopped at the door and touched his mother’s elbow. “Mother, I am going upstairs to rest. I will talk with Father later, when I have thought more about this.”
The Countess of Coventry nodded. “That is a very good idea, Leander. I will inform him.”
“Thank you, Mother. I do appreciate you coming out to speak to me.”
She smiled up at him. “I do love you, son. I hope you make the right decision.”
As she passed throug
h the doorway and the door closed behind her, Leander turned away, wondering what she meant by making the right decision.
For him, there could only be one path to happiness. Convince Hestia to allow him to court her as a lady. That might mean returning to her home and forfeiting her job. He was not sure she would be open to such a suggestion.
He was certain her independence meant a great deal to her. If it did not, she would not be employed in a station below what she was due.
He went to the stairway and looked up. He could picture Hestia walking down the steps, dressed elegantly, a beautiful smile on her face.
That was what he wanted to see. That was what he hoped for.
Chapter 20
Hestia stood back while the Viscount and Viscountess of Culross called out orders to the people catering and working the party. She was still waiting for Lady Eugenia to come down. She was taking her time this morning.
Hestia swept her eyes over the decorations on the front lawn. Everything looked so white. The tables had been covered by white cloths that reached the ground on every side. The tables were adorned with white decorations, twisted ribbons of white, and white plates and utensils. Even the cups were white and the pitchers that sat in the middle of each table holding lemonade, tea and coffee, were white.
To the Callows’ credit, there was a touch of color added to each table, where brightly colored flowers were laid about at random.
Overall, Hestia thought the garden party was beautifully decorated and she was impressed.
“Hestia. Good morning.”
She turned when Lady Eugenia’s voice drew her attention. She smiled and leaned in for air kisses on each cheek, which she returned at the same time.
“Good morning, Eugenia. Did you rest well?”
“Not particularly. It is strange. I had dreams last night that… they did not make sense to me. And they seemed so real. It kept waking me up.”
“Nothing too frightful, I hope.”
Lady Eugenia shook her head. “No. I am just a little tired. I will be fine.”