She left earlier than needed so she could spend some time alone with Pearl before the men arrived. The morning was scented with the approach of autumn, and although the leaves had yet to change, it felt as if summer were drawing to a close. Something in Nelle’s heart turned. With the end of summer came her birthday, and she’d finally be of age to use her trust. It would be time then to return to the city and start anew.
Nelle fell into a contemplative reverie as she walked the now familiar paths through the trees, cutting time and distance by avoiding the main roads. Less and less, she’d awakened with disturbing dreams. Since taking Pearl’s advice and writing down her dreams and memories about her parents, Nelle had started to feel more whole, more comforted. She’d been raised by two loving parents. She’d had a wonderful childhood. Although she missed them dearly, she was grateful for the life they’d made together and for bringing her into the world.
Nelle told herself she had made the right decision in turning down Mathew’s offer so that she could leave and start a new life. He was here with his mother, who needed him more than ever, and he would keep his roots firmly in this town by marrying Alice. Alice was a romantic and a dreamer—and always would be—which made the practical and loyal Mathew the perfect spouse for her.
Nelle would have to look elsewhere. Like Pearl, she wouldn’t be depending on a marriage and children to find fulfillment. Opportunities were to be had like never before. She could take a train and cross the country. She could see California and the Pacific Ocean. Or she could take a steamship to Europe, visiting some of the places Pearl had lived.
As Nelle’s path joined up with the main street into town, she wondered whether Pearl might consider traveling with Nelle if she decided to relocate to another place. Nelle’s step quickened in anticipation. Pearl had become like the older sister Nelle had never had, someone who could understand her and also give her sound advice, even if Nelle didn’t always want to hear it.
She wondered what Pearl’s reaction would be to meeting Mathew, for Pearl had been so intuitive about Nelle’s true feelings for him. She passed the town’s shops and turned the corner to the apothecary shop. It looked as if neither the doctor nor Mathew had yet arrived. Nelle was glad to be early. She slowed her step as she came to the front door. Instead of there being a shiny brass knob, the knob was dull, and the door looked weathered with its pale blue paint flaking off of it.
Had Pearl installed an older door to the shop? The window to her left, which was usually cracked open, was now boarded up. Perhaps the place had been robbed, and Pearl was taking precautions?
Nelle turned the doorknob, only to find it locked. It was mid-morning on a Thursday, and none of the other shops in town were closed. Nelle wondered if Pearl was sick, or perhaps she was bustling about in town, doing errands. Nelle knocked on the door and waited a few moments.
No one came to the door, so Nelle walked around the shop—she’d never explored this area—and found another door on the side of the shop. This doorframe had cobwebs in the corners and looked as if it hadn’t been used in some time, making the atmosphere around the shop feel abandoned.
The sounds of an approaching carriage caught her attention, and Nelle walked back to the front of the shop. The doctor had arrived. He alighted from the carriage and was about to greet Nelle, when Mathew rode up on a horse.
“Hello,” she said to both of the men. “I’m not sure where Pearl has gone. The shop’s locked up.” The doctor walked to the boarded-up window while Mathew climbed down from his horse.
“This is the apothecary shop you were talking about?” the doctor asked. “This place has been abandoned for a decade.”
Nelle shook her head. “No, this is where Pearl keeps her shop. Inside is very well kept.”
Mathew came to stand by Nelle and surveyed the place. “I’ve never seen this place open for business,” he admitted.
“You’re mistaken,” Nelle said, her frustration building. “This is where Pearl works, and this is where I got the infusion for your mother.”
Mathew’s gaze was steady on hers. “Are you sure?” he asked. “Perhaps it was at the general store?”
Nelle blinked rapidly. Where was Pearl? If only she’d show up, then this could all be straightened out. Nelle tried the front door’s knob again. If she didn’t know better, she would have also thought the door hadn’t been used in some time.
Mathew stepped up next to her and tried the knob himself. “Is there another entrance?” he asked.
“There’s a side door, but it’s covered in cobwebs.” Nelle turned to face the doctor, who looked as skeptical as Mathew. “She might have left town. She’s traveled a lot and lived in many places. Although I don’t understand how this place could fall into disrepair so quickly. It was quite well tended.”
The doctor stepped forward, jimmied the doorknob, then finally resorted to forcing the door open with his shoulder. The door swung into the shop, revealing a floor covered in dust and dried leaves. Even if Pearl had left the day Nelle had last seen her, the shop couldn’t have gotten this dirty so fast.
Nelle walked past the men and stepped into the shop’s dim interior. The shelves of beautiful trinkets were completely gone, the walls were bare, and cobwebs were the only decorating feature, replacing the fine rugs and silk cloths that Pearl had displayed so beautifully.
The musty smell of this shop would have normally indicated to Nelle that no one had occupied this space for years. But that was impossible. It had been less than a week since Nelle had been here with Pearl. Nelle spun around slowly, her gaze taking in the evidence of this place having been abandoned long ago.
Had she gotten her direction turned around and come to the wrong place after all? No. She knew she was in the right place, for the location was set back from the corner of Main Street and the sizes of the shops were the same…How was this possible?
Mathew crossed to her and touched her elbow. “I don’t understand,” he said in a quiet voice.
At his words, Nelle’s eyes burned with tears. She couldn’t explain it. When her heart broke, had her mind broken as well? Had she imagined Pearl? What about the infusion? Mathew had been a witness to that.
“She must have left,” Nelle said. “Moved her shop someplace else.” It was the only explanation she could offer, although it seemed unlikely. The alternate explanation was even worse to consider.
“I’ve got to be going,” the doctor said in the cool mustiness. “Please let me know if you’re able to locate the former shop owner.”
His tone was kind, yet Nelle knew there were many questions behind his words. And she couldn’t blame him.
With the departure of the doctor, the shop became absolutely silent. Nelle stared down at the dusty floor, and Mathew didn’t move, didn’t speak.
What could she say? She didn’t have any answers.
Then Mathew was by her side, his hand on her shoulder. “You’ve exhausted yourself,” he said gently. “I’ll take you home.”
“No,” Nelle whispered, taking a step back, pulling away from his touch. “I don’t understand it. How could I have imagined an entire person, an entire shop?” She met Mathew’s gaze and saw the same questions in his eyes. She turned away from him, folding her arms as if that would keep her emotions in check.
“Where else could you have gotten the infusion?” Mathew asked quietly. “We could walk over to the general store and speak to the owner.”
Nelle knew that would only bring her humiliation. She blinked back the tears. “I…can’t.” The tears came anyway.
Mathew stepped toward her and wrapped his arms about her. She didn’t have the willpower to reject him. Leaning against his chest, she let the tears silently fall. Had her mind truly been broken? And if so, what did that mean for her future?
She wished she could enjoy the strength and security of having Mathew’s arms about her, but she knew she was merely a thief of his affections. The warmth of his body, the steadiness of his breath on her hair, the
beating of his heart…none of these belonged to her. And with Pearl gone too, Nelle felt as if she’d been truly abandoned.
“We’ll find the answers, Nelle,” Mathew whispered. “We’ll find Pearl.”
Nelle decided he was being kind and, surely, was feeling as troubled as she. So she let his warmth surround her and pretended, for a moment, that the outside world had disappeared, that there was no ailing Mrs. Janson and no Alice to stand between Nelle and the man she loved, and that her mind wasn’t breaking apart.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Nelle stared at the letter from Dottie, after reading it a second time. She should feel elated and overjoyed that her best friend was coming for a visit. But Dottie’s words hadn’t sent joy through Nelle. Instead, she was dreading the visit because she knew she couldn’t hide anything from Dottie.
For a week now, Nelle had avoided everyone, including Mathew and his mother. There had been repeated get-well notes sent by Mrs. Janson to Nelle, inviting her to visit when she felt better. There was nothing wrong with Nelle’s body, at least, aside from a broken heart. She was afraid for her mind. Mathew hadn’t come right out and said it, but Nelle knew he had to be thinking that her mind had finally cracked. The doctor even stopped by and asked after her.
When Nelle’s aunt came all the way up the stairs to her bedroom, her thin eyebrows arched high above her eyes, Nelle could only tell her that she’d had an episode.
“What sort of episode?” her aunt demanded.
“It was more of a misunderstanding,” Nelle said, bringing her hand to her head.
“Another headache?” her aunt asked, her tone sounding softer.
“Yes,” Nelle managed to get out. Perhaps a headache was the result of a crumbling mind, for she had a massive headache.
Now, even if Nelle did reply to Dottie today, her letter would never reach Dottie in time. Neither would a telegram.
Just as she had thought this, Nelle heard the sounds of an approaching carriage from her half-open window. Nelle hurried to the window and peered down. She didn’t recognize the carriage, so it must be the one Dottie had hired. Sure enough, a woman stepped out of the carriage, decked out in light green with a wide-brimmed hat set at an angle.
Nelle watched as Dottie directed the butler to gather her two small trunks. Dottie gathered her skirts and started up the stairs. Nelle hadn’t even had time to inform her aunt about the letter. She hurried out of her room and reached the stairs as her aunt came out of the parlor and Dottie walked in the front door.
“Nelle,” Dottie called out, seeing Nelle at the top of the stairs.
“What in heaven’s name?” her aunt started to say.
Nelle rushed down the stairs, trying not to trip in her haste but feeling determined that her aunt not turn her sharp tongue on Dottie.
“This is my friend, Dottie,” Nelle said, coming to a stop between the two women. “I’ve just received your letter.” She looked at her aunt. “Dottie is here for a couple of days to visit. I wasn’t able to tell you in advance because her letter arrived this afternoon.”
“Well,” her aunt said, looking from Nelle to Dottie. Aunt Corinne’s nose scrunched almost perceptively. Nelle’s heart sank, for she knew her aunt was openly assessing Dottie—her less-than-stylish clothing, her second-rate hired carriage.
“You’ll love my cousin, Alice,” Nelle said, crossing to her friend and grasping her hands. “I’m so glad you’ve come.” She threw an arch look over at her aunt, as if to say, “Don’t worry about any extra costs—I will put them all in the ledger.”
“At least it got you out of bed,” her aunt said to Nelle, withholding any civil greeting from Dottie.
Dottie’s concerned gaze flew to Nelle, and she felt her face heat with embarrassment. Now there would be no stopping Dottie’s inquiries.
“Dinner will be early tonight. 7:00 p.m.” Aunt Corinne turned on her heel and walked back into the parlor. Nelle stared after her aunt. She hadn’t dismissed Dottie, but she hadn’t exactly welcomed her either.
“I suppose you’ll be staying in my room,” Nelle said, leading Dottie toward the stairs and out of earshot of her aunt, beyond the open parlor door.
“What’s going on?” Dottie whispered. “Your aunt is something else.”
“Shh,” Nelle warned. “We’ll talk upstairs.”
They linked arms as they had since they were young girls and walked up the two flights of stairs to Nelle’s small bedroom on the third floor.
Dottie stopped inside the doorway. “It’s quaint, I’ll give you that. I had guessed, by your aunt’s grand airs, you’d be in a room three times this size.”
“This was an old servant’s room, I think,” Nelle said. “I’m not staying on the second floor with the rest of the family.”
“Oh Nelle,” Dottie said, pulling her into an embrace. “I’ve missed you so much.” She drew away and added, “Look at you—I haven’t come a moment too soon.”
“What do you mean?”
“Pardon the phrase, but you look like death.”
Nelle looked down at her gray, wrinkled dress. She hadn’t been out of her room much in the past week and had taken to napping fully dressed. Dottie was seeing the full effect of that. Nelle crossed to the window and looked down at the lane leading away from the house. Beyond it, she could see the top of Mathew’s house. Gazing at it, day after day, hadn’t done much for relieving her sorrow.
“I’m afraid I’ve lost my mind, Dottie,” Nelle finally said in a quiet voice.
“Whatever do you mean?” Dottie asked as she came to stand next to her.
Nelle turned to her best friend and told her everything—from her aunt’s cruel accounting to meeting up with Mathew when Alice didn’t know about it, including her conversations with Pearl—an imaginary woman. Dottie just waited, listening quietly, an unusual behavior for her. When Nelle had finally completed her tearful tale, Dottie grasped her hands and smiled.
“You haven’t lost your mind, Nelle. You’ve been through a great shock,” Dottie said, “one that would unsettle even the most brilliant of minds. And…I must meet this Mathew!”
“Oh, Dottie,” Nelle said as she gave in to her tears, tears both of sadness and of relief, for her friend was here, a friend with a fresh perspective. “I’m so glad you’re here.” She realized she had missed this—someone to talk to and to commiserate with. “I’ve been awful to them the past few days,” Nelle continued. “I haven’t returned one note in reply to Mathew or his mother. Mathew certainly thinks I’ve lost my mind for good, and his mother is only feeling extreme pity for me. I can’t hide the reality of it from my aunt much longer.”
Dottie exhaled. “It’s probably not as bad as you fear. Sometimes, our perceptions are worse than our reality.”
“I imagined an entire person and her store, Dottie,” Nelle said, pressing her fingers against her own forehead.
“I don’t understand how,” Dottie said. “The infusion healed Mrs. Janson. How do you explain that?”
Nelle let her shoulders sag. “It’s unexplainable.”
“And the teas she gave you,” Dottie pressed as she crossed to Nelle’s nightstand and picked up one of the apothecary tins. “How do you explain these?”
Nelle squeezed her eyes shut. “I can’t. Mathew suggests I got everything at the general store.” She opened her eyes. “I need to believe he is right, for any other explanation would land me in the asylum.”
Dottie frowned. Just then, Alice burst into the room without so much as a knock.
“Hello,” Alice said, giving Dottie a quick scan. “You’re Nelle’s friend, right? The one who is planning to marry in a few weeks?”
“Yes,” Dottie said, stepping forward with a slight smirk on her face.
“Welcome, my mother and I are delighted you’re here,” Alice said, flashing a smile. She turned to Nelle. “I need a favor.”
Nelle stared at Alice. She’d never seen her cousin be quite so amiable.
“Mathew
is racing in the Harvard Alumni Regatta this weekend,” Alice continued. “I need someone to go with me or Mother won’t let me attend.”
Emotions crashed through Nelle. First, pleasure that Mathew had taken Nelle’s advice and would be rowing crew again; and second, disappointment that she would have to be in the presence of Alice with Mathew if she chose to go. Then Nelle remembered Dottie.
“I’d love to,” Nelle said, “but Dottie has arrived, and this is our last chance to spend time together before she’s a married woman. Can’t one of your friends go with you?”
Alice puffed out a breath. “You don’t understand. Lucien is going as well—not traveling with me, of course. He’s meeting us there.” She lowered her voice. “Mother can’t know.”
This information clicked into place. “And you don’t want word to get back to her through one of your friends?” Nelle asked.
Alice’s smile became brilliant. “Exactly.”
Nelle’s stomach twisted, for she wanted to shout at Alice, to tell her that she was a foolish woman, that she was throwing away a good man’s trust. And Nelle knew she couldn’t be a part of Alice’s infatuation with Lucien, as temporary as it might be.
“I don’t think—”
“I’ll go too,” Dottie cut in, sliding her arm into Nelle’s and facing Alice head-on. “It will be the three of us, and your mother won’t hear a word about Lucien from me.”
Nelle didn’t know what Dottie was up to, but she’d have to ask her when Alice left.
“Excellent,” Alice said, her eyes brightening. “The three of us will be perfect. See you at supper.” She brought her finger to her lips and added, “And remember, not a word to Mother about Lucien.”
When Alice left, Nelle immediately turned to Dottie. “Do you even understand what my cousin is doing?”
Dottie gave a slow nod then let her smile grow. “I don’t know why you are so upset about your cousin flirting with another man. It’s perfect, the way I see it. Mathew can’t put up with that for long, and then he’ll call off their engagement.”
Love is Come (Power of the Matchmaker) Page 14