His head rocked back. He felt as if she’d slapped him.
‘You’re saying if you let a woman close, and if your father finds out about it then he might threaten her in some way. And if that happens, you’re saying she’s going to walk away from you...and if she doesn’t then she’s going to get hurt because you and her don’t have the power to fight your father.’
His teeth ground together.
‘That’s a lot of ifs and mights, Jasper.’
He counted to ten. ‘You haven’t lived the life I’ve lived. And you don’t know my father the way I do. This is no longer up for discussion.’
‘But—’
‘Look, I know that kiss was spectacular. But spectacular kisses don’t necessarily lead to spectacular relationships.’
She drew herself up to her full height, which meant she reached the top of his nose. ‘This isn’t about me.’
‘Are you sure?’ He knew it wasn’t, but he asked the question to deliberately anger her, to distance and alienate her. It’d be much better that she think him a jerk than for his father to—
His hands clenched. He would not let his father hurt her. He would not allow that man to dim this woman’s fire or to crush her dreams.
Her soft laugh jerked him back. ‘You’re being a deliberate jackass now.’
His jaw clenched before he forced it to relax again. ‘We really need you to work on that subservience thing.’
‘You’re being a deliberate jackass, sir.’
He had to cover his mouth to hide a smile.
She turned and started back along the beach in the direction of the house. He fell into step beside her, doing his best to not breathe in the notes of vanilla and citrus that seemed to be a part of her. Water foamed up suddenly around her ankles, making her smile. It was such a simple pleasure, and in that instant he felt bad for being, as she’d put it, a jackass.
‘That kiss, Imogen...’
Was it his imagination or did she stiffen? ‘Hmm...?’
‘You’re right, you know? It’s not the kind of kiss one forgets.’
‘Burned on my brain,’ she agreed.
He envied her that cheerful candour. ‘And when I’m old and grey and I remember it, it’s going to make me smile. Every single time.’
‘Me too.’
She sent him a smile full of warmth, but a new distance lurked at its edges, a distance he’d created, and his heart protested. A defiant part of him wanted to smash the barriers he’d forced her to put into place. But to what end? So he could hurt her more?
He clenched his hands. Sometimes spectacular kisses did lead to spectacular relationships, but mostly they didn’t. He and Imogen didn’t have a relationship—not in that sense—and they weren’t going to. A man who couldn’t find a way to protect his own mother and sister didn’t deserve love and romance. His chest burned. He wasn’t worthy of a woman like Imogen.
He pulled in a breath and steeled himself. He couldn’t kiss Imogen again. He had to resist.
CHAPTER EIGHT
IMOGEN HAD HEARD about raging emotions—had read about them in books, and had even experienced them a time or two, but not like this. She felt as if she were being battered by cyclonic winds and stinging rain. A part of her wanted to seek shelter, to lick wounds that had started to throb with a nagging persistence that made her temples ache.
Another part of her wanted to seize Jasper and kiss him again, to drag him into the maelstrom with her. If he kissed her back it would make all those aches go away. She knew that on a primal level.
But if he didn’t kiss her back...
She pulled in a breath and swallowed. If he didn’t kiss her back it’d make everything hurt twice as much. And she couldn’t kiss him again. Not after he’d told her he didn’t want her to.
When they reached the edge of his garden, she halted and closed her eyes. ‘That birdcall is lovely,’ she said on the pretence of listening to something rather than calling attention to the effort she was making to calm the storm raging inside her.
She needed to compose herself before she spoke to her aunt.
She could feel Jasper’s eyes on her, assessing her, so she did what she could to smooth out her face. ‘Do you know what it is?’
She opened her eyes to find him shaking his head. She resisted the urge to point out that he demonstrated a remarkable lack of interest in his idyllic island retreat—the place he now apparently called home. She’d bet a therapist would have something insightful to say about that.
She pressed her lips together to stop herself from playing therapist.
He opened the front door and ushered her ahead of him. She refused to notice the warm spicy scent of him—or his beguiling heat—as she slipped past.
Don’t think about Jasper. Focus on Aunt Katherine.
Katherine and George were in the living room, and, with the windows dark now from the night, the room reminded Imogen even more of a ship. George, looking sleepy on his blanket on the floor, cuddled his toy rabbit with its super-long ears. Katherine, looking worried, leapt up from the sofa the moment they entered.
‘Imogen, honey, I’m sorry about earlier,’ she started at the same time Imogen spoke.
‘You’ve written a book!’
And then they both laughed and hugged.
‘I shouldn’t have said what I did,’ Katherine said, pulling Imogen down to the sofa beside her.
George saw his uncle and let go of his soft toy to kick his legs and lift his arms to be picked up. With a smile that caught at her stupid, susceptible heart, Jasper lifted him and cradled him against his shoulder. She now knew how strong those arms were, how broad and solid those shoulders.
‘I should’ve known Gloria hadn’t told you about our tiff.’
Imogen hauled herself back, studiously averting her gaze from man and baby.
‘My only excuse is that I’ve not been sleeping well and...’
Imogen reached for her aunt’s hand. ‘Jasper tells me you’re having trouble with your latest book.’
‘It’s a hot mess, but I think I’m finally starting to make progress.’
Katherine’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes, so Imogen didn’t believe her, and while she didn’t want to add to her aunt’s stress, she didn’t want to keep secrets from her any longer either. ‘I didn’t know about your falling-out with Mum, Auntie Kay, but there is something you probably should know.’
Katherine stared at her—and so did Jasper as he lowered himself into the armchair opposite. She could feel his attention like a laser beam and she really, really wished she could just not be aware of it...not be aware of him.
Katherine seized Imogen’s shoulders, her face losing all colour. ‘Immy, please tell me she doesn’t have breast cancer.’
It hit her then how much her grandmother’s death had affected the two sisters. ‘I promise you, she doesn’t have breast cancer.’
Katherine sagged. ‘You frightened me out of my wits.’
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. There is an issue, but it’s not as serious as cancer. Back in November Mum found out she has macular degeneration.’
Katherine stared at her. ‘She’s going blind?’
Imogen’s eyes filled and she nodded. ‘She has time yet. They can delay it by giving her injections into her eyes, but eventually...’
‘Why didn’t she tell me?’
‘She was going to tell you in person at Christmas.’
‘But I didn’t come home.’ Katherine tapped a finger against her mouth. ‘So that’s why she’s been so passive-aggressive recently and telling me that my being so far away isn’t fair to your grandfather.’
‘You know what she’s like. She’s focussing all of her worry on who’s going to look after Granddad if she’s blind.’
Katherine stiffened, and then without warning burst i
nto tears. Imogen wrapped an arm about her shoulders, her throat thickening. ‘She’s going to be fine, Auntie Kay, I promise you. Like I said, there’s time. It could be years before her eyesight becomes truly bad. There’s time for everyone to adjust, to put strategies into place. And there’s no need for you to come home—not for good. Dad and I can look after Granddad—’
‘Darling girl, that’s not your job.’ Katherine lifted her head and wiped her eyes. ‘The thing is...’
Katherine’s expression had ice fist-bumping down Imogen’s spine. Jasper leaned towards them. ‘What is the thing?’ she croaked.
‘Just before Christmas, I found a lump in my breast.’
Imogen’s hand flew to her mouth. Her heart pounded so hard it was nearly impossible to breathe. ‘You spent the holidays getting tests?’
Oh, please, don’t let Auntie Kay have cancer, please—
Katherine’s gaze dropped. ‘No.’
No? But... Grandma had died of breast cancer. Katherine had seen the effects, had—
‘I went to a little village on the mainland and worked on my book. And waited for the lump to go away.’
Her mouth went dry. ‘Auntie Kay...’
Jasper shot to his feet, his face set, though his eyes blazed. He still held the baby against his shoulder as if it were the most precious thing in the world—cradling him there as if he wanted to protect him from all hurt.
Katherine glanced from one to the other. ‘I meant to.’ Her bottom lip trembled. ‘But I was afraid. I didn’t realise that’s the way I’d react. I couldn’t face the thought of...’ She covered her face briefly. ‘But if I do have breast cancer and if I die and if Gloria goes blind then...who will look after your grandfather? Your uncles won’t know what to do. And I—’
‘Kate.’ The quiet authority in Jasper’s voice had them both turning to him. ‘That’s an awful lot of ifs on very little evidence.’
Had he meant to repeat the words she’d said to him earlier?
His brows drew down over his eyes. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘We don’t talk about personal matters, Jasper.’
‘But this is your health!’
‘I was hoping it’d go away. I know that probably sounds stupid to you both, but—’
‘No,’ Imogen said. ‘I get it. But, Auntie Kay, we have to get you examined.’
Katherine hesitated and then nodded. ‘I’ll make an appointment tomorrow.’
Jasper widened his stance. He looked suddenly immovable. ‘We can do better than that. I’ll organise a seaplane for first thing in the morning, and I’ll have you seen by a team of Brazil’s best medical professionals ASAP.’
Katherine thrust out her jaw. ‘Don’t come over all high-handed with me, Jasper. You can’t force me into anything I don’t want and—’
‘Kate, I would never force you into anything against your will. Never.’
Jasper wasn’t his father. She could see now how he’d modelled himself to become the exact opposite—the protector rather than the abuser. She wanted to leap up and hug him—for his kindness to Katherine, but also for all the constant restrictions he placed on himself, for the sacrifices he made without asking for anything in return. A man like Jasper deserved to be surrounded by family and love.
The fight drained out of her aunt. ‘I know. I’m sorry. It’s just that things are going to start moving so quickly now and it feels as if everything will start spinning out of my control.’
Imogen seized her hand. ‘As soon as we have answers, it’ll stop the spinning.’ She tightened her grip. ‘You know that in the majority of cases lumps are benign.’
‘But what if it’s not? With my history...’
Fear clutched at Imogen’s heart.
‘We take it one step at a time,’ Jasper interspersed calmly. ‘If it isn’t benign, then we’ll make a plan. You’ll take a deep breath and consider all your options. We’ll find a way forward, Kate. You’re healthy and still young. I promise, you won’t be on your own.’
Katherine pulled in a deep breath and nodded. Imogen could see her mentally steel herself to face whatever the future had in store. Jasper fumbled with his phone and Imogen leapt to take the baby.
‘He was fussing earlier,’ Katherine murmured, ‘so I brought him downstairs. But he seems to have settled again now.’
‘I’ll go put him down.’
It took her next to no time to put the sleepy baby to bed. She started back towards the living room but halted in the shadows at the top of the stairs when her aunt said, ‘Jasper, I can’t afford the kind of treatment you’re talking about.’
Jasper’s head lifted from where he furiously texted on his phone. ‘Healthcare benefits were part of your employment package.’
Katherine snorted, and Imogen didn’t blame her. The man was a terrible liar.
He dragged a hand down his face. ‘Okay, I have a lot of money. It’s just sitting there doing nothing. Please let me do this for you. Let me do something good with it.’
The room blurred, and Imogen’s throat thickened.
‘You’ve been a rock—one of the few stable elements in my life. You mean a lot to me. You’re like...family.’ He gave a half laugh. ‘The family I wished I had. Not the messed-up excuse that I got. Please let me do this one thing for you.’
‘You can’t refuse that, Auntie Kay.’ The words burst from Imogen as she flew down the stairs. Accept his offer, she wanted to yell. It had been made with a good and pure intent.
‘Immy’s right. I can’t refuse you when you put it like that. Thank you, Jasper. I’m grateful...and touched.’
Katherine rose and gave him a hug. Her eyes were wet when she released him several moments later and his were suspiciously bright at well.
‘So you’ll be ready to leave at six in the morning?’
Katherine nodded.
Imogen eased forward. ‘Can I help with anything?’ She’d sit up all night and hold her aunt’s hand if it’d help.
‘Thank you, Immy, but no. I’m going to pack a few things and then do some breathing exercises. A bit of quiet now is what I need.’
She watched her aunt leave the room before swinging to Jasper. ‘Thank you. A million times, thank you.’
‘It’s nothing.’
‘It’s everything! To know we’ll have an answer one way or another soon...’ Didn’t he know what a big thing that was? ‘Knowing will help. I know she’s been hiding from it, and I know she’s afraid.’ Imogen was terrified so it must be a thousand times worse for her aunt. ‘But getting an answer—knowing—is good. And you’re making sure that happens as soon as possible.’
‘It’s the least I can do.’
It was more than most would’ve done. She didn’t say as much, though. It was taking all her strength and concentration not to get caught up in the clear grey of his eyes and the beguiling breadth of his shoulders.
‘You’ll be okay here on your own for a couple of days with George while Katherine and I go to the mainland?’
She wished she could go too but she swallowed and nodded. ‘Of course. Eduardo’s here if I need help with anything.’ She lifted her chin. She wasn’t adding to the expense or the hassle of the trip. She could talk to her aunt every day on the phone.
Those eyes didn’t leave her face. ‘You want to be with your aunt.’
It was a statement, not a question. ‘I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t want that. But it’s neither here nor there. You’re...’
She trailed off when he punched a number into his phone and lifted it to his ear. ‘Antonio, is there room for another two passengers—one adult and one baby?’
Imogen’s heart thumped.
‘Excellent. Thank you.’
‘It’s really not necessary,’ she whispered.
‘Your aunt will be happier if you’re with her. And
it’s your aunt we need to think about.’
‘I swear to God you just became my new favourite person, Jasper.’
Just for a moment his eyes crinkled. And she wanted to hug him so badly things inside her hurt. As if he read that thought on her face, he took a step back. ‘Pack light. One small bag. Plan for a two-night stay. If we need anything else, we can buy it on the mainland. I’d better finish making the arrangements and pack for me and George.’
She watched him leave. ‘Goodnight, Jasper,’ she murmured once he’d disappeared from view.
Her new favourite person? She swallowed. She hadn’t been joking.
She was in trouble. Big trouble.
* * *
Jasper had made arrangements for the seaplane to take them to the port of Santos—an hour away—and from there a limousine took them to São Paulo. He’d ordered Evan to find him the best darn medical facility in the city. His assistant had gone above and beyond. Not only had he shortlisted five hospitals with excellent reputations, but he’d also managed to book Katherine into one of them for a biopsy that very morning. He didn’t know what strings Evan had pulled or how much money it was going to cost, but he didn’t care. Kate deserved the absolute best.
He sank into a chair in the hallway outside her door, dropping his head to his hands. Why hadn’t he taken better care of Kate? Why hadn’t he insisted on taking her and Eduardo to the mainland once a year for medicals?
He’d become unforgivably self-absorbed since arriving on Tesoura. He’d lost a part of himself when Bronwyn, Emily and his mother had turned their backs on him. He’d shut himself off emotionally, fooled himself into thinking that large donations to women’s refuges could replace emotion and caring. But he’d been wrong.
The door to Kate’s room opened and he straightened. He didn’t want either woman to see how worried he was. He needed to be strong for them. Imogen’s ashen face as she walked out squeezed his chest tight. He drew her down to the seat beside him. George continued to sleep in blissful ignorance in the nearby stroller. ‘Your aunt is in excellent hands.’
‘I know. And I’m so grateful to you, Jasper.’ She sent him a brave little smile that twisted his insides. ‘They’re about to take her down for the biopsy, but she wants a word with you before she goes.’
The Maid, the Millionaire and the Baby Page 12