It didn’t surprise her that her intimate needs had also changed. “Our sex drive is above average”, Jack had said. Being a certified werewolf, she now perfectly understood his statement. She couldn’t get enough of Jack. He opened the door to a whole new world of physical pleasure and emotional fulfillment. Gentle, rough, possessive, unselfish, he gave himself to her generously and absolutely. She responded with an irresistible combination of innocence and passion, inexperience and deep, natural sensuality, giving and taking openly, withholding nothing. Her kinky, sexy beast had supplied her with all sorts of theoretical knowledge, and Astrid was more than eager to test it in practice. The calmer component of her being, her logical, rational element explored her awakening sexuality with an endless curiosity and pure joy.
ASTRID AND Peyton’s friendship deepened. Peyton’s relationship with Jack, initially both an obstacle and a motivation for the friendship between the two women, wasn’t an issue anymore. Even before she fell in love with Astrid’s ex-boyfriend, Peyton had dealt with the fact that now Jack belonged to Astrid. Astrid often wondered if she would’ve been so noble under the same circumstances, and deeply admired her friend’s courage.
She spent a lot of time with Ahmed, inside and outside the Clinic. The ski season was almost over, and with just a few tourists left, the nights at the ER department of Red Cliffs Medical Clinic were usually quiet. Every once in a while there would be a child with an upset stomach, mild cold or flu symptoms, but mostly it was nothing serious.
Astrid and Ahmed had performed several orthopedic surgeries on patients from outside the town, who’d opted for the small, inexpensive clinic rather than waiting for months for a bed in their big city hospitals.
During their quiet night shifts, Ahmed and Astrid would often sit in one of their offices and talk, as if they were trying to make up for all that time when they were both working in Rosenthal but talked only when it had been necessary.
They had become very close. Ahmed was protective of her, in a way different from Jack, but maybe similar to Uncle James’ doting affection. They were attuned to each other’s feelings and moods and sometimes they even knew each other’s thoughts.
“There’s something I want to ask you, Ahmed,” she said one evening. “It’s about my mother.”
Ahmed gave her curious look. “Ask me, tatlim.”
Astrid smiled. Sometimes, Ahmed called her tatlim, ‘sweetie’, in his mother tongue. It sounded as fatherly and warm as James’ ‘sweetheart’.
“I’m sorry if I’m bringing up painful memories, but I need to know. Before Khotyn, you were a human, right? A part shihirbaz, but otherwise a human. You were turned into a werewolf, you’re not born as one. As you know, my mother was turned, too. As a wife of a werewolf, she had a right to request it, and she did.” She took a deep breath. “Now, I know almost nothing about werewolf tribal magic, Ahmed. Seth is mentally sick. Jack said nobody’s sure, but it could be because of the interbreeding between close family members his family had practiced for generations. Seth didn’t, but the damage might have been done. Could he transfer his condition, whatever it is, to my mother through blood? Is that possible? I mean I know insanity isn’t contagious, but werewolf medicine and psychiatry is not what I studied.”
Ahmed leaned across the table and took her hand between his. “You have no reason to worry,” he reassured her. “See, when we speak about werewolves, turning is a simple ritual but still it’s supposed to be done by the most skilled clan member. Generally speaking, humans can be turned—or turn, in some instances—easier than any other species. A woman pregnant with a child of a werewolf father, for example—”
“What?! Wait a second! I can’t cast a simple spell while pregnant, but a human woman can be turned into a werewolf?!”
“That’s because you’re a wizard, Astrid. In some ways humans are tougher than the rest of us. A werewolf child in a human woman’s womb makes it perfectly safe for her. A pregnant human often spontaneously goes through her initial transformation during the first trimester.”
“Wow! It’s amazing how nature regulates it! Well, at least for human women. I’m jealous.”
“Turning a human into a werewolf has to be risk free simply because humans are the key to our existence. Wouldn’t make any sense if it harmed them, right? We mate with them more often than other races and this allows them to become one of us, if they want it, of course.”
“I know. We are a small population, we have to breed with humans to keep our genetic pool healthy. But turning a human into one of us isn’t always easy and without risk. You’re an example.”
“Of course it’s not. If it’s done wrong, the recipient could die. And you’re right, I barely survived it. Whatever my turning was, it wasn’t a ritual. For all I know, I was intended to be a meal. But see, I could have stayed forever trapped in a wolf body, or, even worse, between two shapes, two minds and two spirits.”
“A monster for real…” Astrid said quietly.
“Exactly. But Seth’s insanity is not in his blood, Astrid, so it cannot be transferred through it. It is a sickness of his soul, or the imbalance of energy in his body and his mind. Besides, your mother is an asanni, her wizard blood would have protected her from any harm, as mine, I guess, saved me from an almost certain death. But don’t you know it wasn’t Seth who turned her?”
“It wasn’t? Why has nobody told me? Who was it, then?”
“Jack probably assumed you knew something about the tribal rituals… Arina Landau was your mother’s donor. She’s the Copper Ridge ‘converting specialist’.”
“Seth’s former sister-in-law? She must have hated doing it!”
“Not at all, Astrid. Soon after your mother married Seth, she and Arina became good friends.”
“What? Are you sure?”
“And have remained as such. You know, Arina is also a lonely, betrayed woman. I’ve heard the father of her daughter, Amilla, was a human, an outlander. He and Arina had a brief affair, and he left Copper Ridge before he knew she was pregnant. It’s not hard to imagine your mother and Arina quickly found out they had much in common.”
Astrid let out a sharp breath. She’d need a bit of time to process this newest piece of information, but at least it had given her some peace of mind.
ASTRID AND Ahmed soon discovered another special connection. One night Astrid had needed him urgently, but before she’d reached for the phone, a vivid image of Ahmed sitting in a lunchroom with a cup of his favorite cardamom black tea in his hands shot through her mind.
“Coming!” she seemed to hear him say. She shook her head and phoned him nonetheless, but even before his phone started ringing, Ahmed had stormed into the room. “What happened?” he asked, not a bit surprised at being summoned.
She asked him how he knew she’d needed him.
“I sort of heard you,” he said slowly, as if he tried to explain it to himself, too. “Like when we talk in our wolf shape.”
“Can you communicate like that with anybody else?”
“No. It’s never happened before. You?”
“I don’t think so, not like this. Sometimes I can track Jack down, although only visually and only when he is around. I never know if it’s going to work or not. He can be in the next room and I still can’t see him, so it’s more annoying than helpful. It’s arbitrary; I can never count on it. And we can’t communicate. Jack’s not aware I see him.”
“This is different. You sent me a message, and I heard it—”
“Ahmed, it’s not the first time! Remember when we flew to Stanford to operate on a little girl whose dog attacked her and smashed her hand? You were on your way home. I saw you in the parking lot. I had the phone in my hands. Oh my God, yes! It did happen before! I said something like, ‘I need you back’, and you turned around and looked at my window.”
Ahmed nodded, still looking puzzled. “Now I remember. I thought it was a coincidence. Is this working one way or both? Let’s try.”
When Ahmed tried
to send her a mental message, nothing happened. “Doesn’t matter,” he said and shrugged. “It’s still astounding, Astrid. If we can communicate like this, it’s just wonderful!”
They quickly found out that no matter the distance, Astrid could reach him.
Jack was even more delighted. Astrid’s safety was his first priority and his constant worry. Getting a free tracking device in the form of his loyal friend and a person with whom Astrid was spending lots of her time was an unexpected blessing. “I was recently thinking about those ankle monitors,” he teased her, unable to hide his excitement, “but I knew you’d object. It’d be perfect if it worked both ways, but regardless, please take advantage of it, okay? You know what I mean, Astrid, don’t you?”
“I know. If you’re not around and I need to go to grocery shopping, I have to notify Ahmed about my intentions,” she said with a dry laugh.
“Precisely,” Jack said, dead serious.
JACK HAD traveled twice to Scotland, to meet with Darius, and a couple of times to Seattle, where he’d met Ingmar’s friends Dinah and Gerard. The last time he’d secretly brought all three of them to Red Cliffs. They had settled on the Silverbell Ranch, close to the Langdons’ land. Powerful wizard magic protected them from the unwanted curiosity of their closest neighbors, and nobody, except a small circle around Jack and Astrid, knew they were there.
Peyton and Ingmar continued to see each other, although not on the farm. They would fly separately to the nearest city and spend a few days together.
Liv and Tristan had moved to the ranch on the outskirts of town, also in great secrecy.
By the end of May, Ella and Arnaldur had come to Red Cliffs as Betty and James’ guests. Astrid’s grandfather gave her a couple of suggestions on how to use her metal skills. As the Grandmaster Arnaldur quickly became aware of, however, there wasn’t too much any wizard could teach Astrid anymore. His beautiful granddaughter had become one of the most powerful asannis of their realm.
DURING ONE of their afternoon walks to the clearing on the edge of the forest, Morgaine had brought up the pregnancy issue one more time.
“Good, because I wanted to ask you about something,” Astrid said. “You said before, we can use some energy in the first trimester. What does it mean, Ellida?
“I say don’t use it if it’s not necessary, to stay on the safe side. Bleithasts don’t use it at all when pregnant. Our energy, mine, yours—I’m talking about the Ellidas—is even stronger because we have the blood of both races in our veins. We are rare, Astrid, and little is known about us. We know, though, that the wolf inside us can and will protect the fetus if necessary, even after the first trimester, at least from the limited use of energy.”
“Define limited.”
“Enough to make an illusion—not fire exhibitions, mind you, that’s considerable energy, no lightning bolts, no heavy stuff. Now when I think about it, manipulating metal, in fact, would be relatively harmless. And no transformations after the first twelve weeks. Your husband, your family, your clan—they are all here to protect you when you’re pregnant. It’s payback, sort of, because you protect them the rest of the time.”
Morgaine smiled and reach out to stroke her face. “Astrid, this little problem with Seth is going to be over soon. It would be wise to wait.”
“We’re using protection,” Astrid whispered as her cheeks flushed. “I’m scared even to think about getting pregnant now. Seth would try to get me for sure.”
Morgaine looked into her eyes. “I know, honey, and I hope it won’t come to that. But if anything happens, I want you to keep in mind that you’re not helpless, not even if you’re pregnant. Don’t ever let despair get the better of you. Fear is the worst enemy. If it comes to that, use your wits, use your energy—you’ll know how much you can—and use what Takeshi taught you. Humans’ skills are considerable, especially when nobody expects you to have them.”
“That’s exactly what Takeshi says.”
“He has a great understanding of humans. He knows what he’s talking about.”
Astrid rubbed her forehead and sighed. “I’ve never been scared for myself that much. Seth wants me alive, so he probably wouldn’t harm me until the very end. But he could hurt me through those I love: Jack, my mother, my family, innocent people.”
“About Jack, I wouldn’t worry too much, Astrid. Aside from Brian, his father, he’s the most competent werewolf warrior I’ve ever known. The others, well yes, there’s always a possibility. To avoid that, we’ll see to finish it before anybody gets hurt. By the way, Peyton Kincaid has considerable wizard potential. I’m going to work with her. She’s been romantically involved with Ingmar Mortensen recently, am I right?”
Astrid smiled. She had become accustomed to Morgaine’s tendency to sudden changes of topic.
“They are bond-mates,” Astrid said.
Although she’d never say that to anyone else, not even to Jack, Astrid didn’t feel she’d betrayed Peyton’s trust sharing her secret with Morgaine. What is said between two Ellidas stays between two Ellidas.
“I suspected something like that.” Morgaine narrowed her eyes, looking somewhere above Astrid’s head. “That girl… I’m not sure. We’ll soon see,” she murmured, more to herself than to Astrid. “I’m wondering…hmm… but it’s quite possible… quite possible.”
Abandoning her randomly chosen focal point somewhere on the horizon and moving her pale, sage-green eyes back to Astrid, she said, “Although most of the time it’s a blessing, you sometimes may find the fact that we can’t foresee the future quite annoying. Right now, for example, it’s driving me nuts. What can you tell me about Peyton?”
Astrid tried the same faraway look she’d seen in Morgaine’s eyes a moment ago, focusing her inner senses on her friend and Ingmar. Except for plenty of positive energy and bright, sunny light that enveloped her inner vision of them, she couldn’t see anything else.
“They are going to make each other very happy,” she said, “that’s what I feel. They have different personalities, and they’ll need to work on their bond a bit, I can feel that too. That might be only because I know them both well. They’ll have children, definitely… I don’t see the images of them in my mind, Ellida, if that’s what you’re asking me to do. I feel their relationship, I don’t see it.”
“That’s all right, Astrid. That’s quite a lot. You know what I feel? I feel I need to continue working with her on her wizard skills. Ingmar should also do that. I have a hunch she’s destined for something big.”
Astrid laughed. “Let’s put feelings and hunches aside for a moment, Ellida. My logical mind tells me that, theoretically speaking, there is a solid chance that, having both werewolf and wizard blood in her veins, and being a wonderful person, Peyton may become the mother of Copper Ridge’s first Ellida. Her father was from there. What do you think?”
Morgaine slightly tilted her head and zeroed her green gaze in on Astrid. “Your logical side has always been admirable, Astrid Vandermeer. Yes, I would say it’s logical. We’ll see.”
Thirty-One
Astrid
MY OBSESSION with keeping Jack close all the time had eased after the last full moon, which was good because he was on the road more than I’d bargained for.
Betty and Peyton always asked me to stay with them when Jack was out of town but I always declined. I liked being in my house, even alone waiting for Jack to come back. The bed smelled like him, and I’d sleep on his side, in his T-shirt, head buried in his pillow. Blue, my kitty, was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed.
When I was alone, I would use Jack’s bathroom instead of mine, his bathrobe, his towels, and sometimes even his toothbrush, although I never told him that. I’d just discard it and put out a new one before he came back. I’d leave his clothes scattered around the room, and his book on the nightstand. His presence was everywhere, and that made the waiting bearable.
I usually knew when he’d be back. Sometimes he’d surprise me with an early return. When
he needed to stay longer, which was rare, he’d always phone and tell me that, and I’d make him promise to make up for my prolonged suffering.
And, oh, he would!
Generally speaking, however, I didn’t seek solitude. My social needs had changed. I was more natural and relaxed among people and enjoyed their company. Thanks to my wolf, an in-built part of my soul now, and not a noisy, bouncy thing forced to sit in the back seat any more, I needed people around me in a way I never had before.
My friendship with Peyton grew stronger. She was my loyal friend, the sister I’d never had, my female soul-mate. The longer I knew her, the more I respected her. Underneath her fragile appearance was a woman made of steel, pure minded yet not naïve, practical and independent. She was fiercely protective of those she loved, and courageous, both emotionally and morally.
Although sensual and passionate, Peyton didn’t like to be rushed and preferred her methodical, thoughtful approach, even when it came to her steamy relationship with an unorthodox wizard.
“I’m not gonna sleep with him before we know each other better,” she had announced after her first visit to Seattle. “We might be bonded, but we’re different personalities. I mean, the sex is bound to be great, but I don’t want to spend the rest of the time fighting and arguing. ”
I told her about Tristan’s bonding philosophy.
“I couldn’t agree more. A true relationship is more than a bond. It’s compromise, understanding and respect. Deep love… Oh, don’t listen to me. Astrid, I’m so much in love with him. Why did I tell him we had to know each other better before we sleep together? That was so stupid!”
I laughed. “You haven’t specified the duration of that platonic phase, right? Next time you see him, tell him you’re a quick learner, and you already know him well enough to move to the next stage.”
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