Steel My Love

by Vivian Lux

  "Did you pay?" he glowered.

  Ingrid shot me a crooked smile. And with one quick movement, she flashed the guy. His eyes went wide. "Okay then!" he grinned. "Two cups for my new best friend!"

  "Don't say I never did anything for you, Delaney." She sipped her foamy beer, "That guy was totally not my taste."

  "I'm forever in your debt," I smirked, and raised the red cup to my lips. The beer was mostly head, and it tasted awful.

  Ingrid must have seen my sour face, because she grinned. "Yeah this tastes like piss," she agreed. "Let's go see if there's anything better." She grabbed my hand again, and hauled me back through the crowd. I was buffeted by sweaty bodies that jostled my drink, spilling half of it on the floor.

  "Where are we going?"

  "Dunno. Somebody, somewhere has to have some liquor."

  I thought for a moment. "Crash does."

  Ingrid stopped short, then slowly turned to face me. "You just get more and more interesting, Delaney. Yeah," she smiled, "let's go see if we can get drunk with the biker dude."

  "Well when you put it like that…" I hesitated.

  But she was already dragging me out towards the back porch. Just as she was about to slide the glass doors aside, we heard a whoop go up from the huge crowd that had assembled there. Everyone was looking upward, and a chant of, "Do it! Do it! Do it!" rose up.

  "Say my name!" came the roar from above.

  "Crash! Crash! Crash!" the crowd cheered.

  I looked up to where everyone was staring and gasped. Crash was on the roof of the kitchen, clad only in his jeans and boots. He lifted his arms above his head, waving what looked like a baking sheet above his head, and the roar of encouragement only grew louder. "Crash! Crash! Crash!"

  He looked down at our upturned faces, and his eyes locked on mine. "If I do this, you have to kiss me as reward!" he suddenly called, pointing directly at me.

  Everyone turned to look at me, and Ingrid squeaked. Grabbing my hand in hers, she lifted it over our heads. "She will!" she screamed to the bouncing figure above us.

  "Hey!"

  "What is he even going to do?"

  "Why do you care? If you don't kiss him, I swear to God I will never speak to you again," she hissed. "Oh my God, you lucky bitch."

  "Give me a countdown!" Crash called to us. "From five!"

  I watched, dumbfounded, the roaring in my ears drowning out the roaring of the crowd. He bounced lightly on his toes, clapping his hands across his chest to psyche himself up and stay warm. When the count reached one, I froze.

  He ran headlong to the edge. As he leapt out into nothingness, he swung the baking pan up under himself, then tucked his whole body over it. He landed perfectly on top of the huge pile of snow that had been shoved up to the fence line, skating down the slope gracefully, rolling off just before he crashed into a cement wall. He flopped onto his back, steam rising from his torso as he lay panting.

  We all paused, then the simultaneous cheer rose to a deafening shriek. "Crash! Crash! Crash!" Three in the crowd separated from the pack of us and went running out into the snow with a bottle of whiskey.

  He rose with a shout and poured it down his throat. "You!" he cried.

  He was pointing at me.

  "Hey! Good luck charm! You promised me a kiss!"

  The crowd roared and I was jostled forward until I had no choice but to step into the snow. "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" they cried.

  He sat in the snow and grinned at me, almost sheepishly, a look of boyish delight on his face completely at odds with his menacing look. He looked eager and happy and I couldn't help but smile back. When I reached him, he yanked my arm, pulling me down so I landed ungracefully into his lap.

  "What's up, I'm Crash," he smiled.

  "Lexi," I panted.

  "Bottom's up, Lexi!" He jammed the whiskey bottle between my lips and before I could protest, the burning liquid flowed into my mouth. I had no choice but to swallow over and over again, the fire flowing out from my belly and permeating my limbs.

  I sputtered and quick as a wink, he caught the dripping liquid as I choked, covering my mouth with his own and swallowing the last dredges. I froze in complete shock and he took his opportunity to snake his hand into my hair and pull me down close to him. Numb with the whiskey and the attention, I let him probe my mouth with his searching tongue. His touch mingled with the wooziness of bourbon and I felt like I was spinning and flying at the same time.

  With a gasp I pulled myself free. "Fuck!"

  He let go obligingly and sat back grinning in the snow. "Fuck!" I repeated, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

  "The thought crossed my mind." He licked his lips.

  "You are completely insane."

  "So they tell me."

  "You're going to die of exposure out here. Aren't you cold?"

  He looked down at his bare chest in mild surprise. "Yeah, I guess."

  My mothering instinct was drowning out every other instinct I had. "Let's get you inside where it's warm."

  "Help me up." He waved his hands helplessly, and even though I had just seen him pull a death-defying stunt, I still fell for it. I offered him my hand...

  And he yanked me back down again. "Girl, you can keep me warm just fine right here."

  This time I was ready for his kiss. Or I thought I was. The bourbon slowed my reaction time, so that when I thought I was about to push him away, in reality I was moving my hand languidly across the snow. By the time I had mustered my wits enough to realize this, the thought of resisting him didn't make sense anymore.

  It had been ages since I had been kissed like this. The tentative pecks from the past were nothing, not even close to the wild, animal hunger in Crash's kiss. He possessed my mouth as quickly and neatly as if he had belonged there my whole life. It was all I could do to keep up with the mad swirl of his tongue as he broke down my defenses. Our bourbon-laced tongues met, sparred and finally mingled as I surrendered to him there on the snow covered back lawn.

  But when his mouth moved down from mine, down onto my throat, trailing on to my neck and under my sweater, I finally found myself. "Wait," I half gasped, half shouted.

  "What for?" he murmured into my neck.

  I pulled back. "One, I don't know you. Two, it's freezing out here. And three, there are a billion people watching."

  He looked over to the hooting crowd on the porch. "Not quite a billion," he smirked.

  "You know what I mean."

  "No, " he pulled himself to his feet. "Not really. But I ain't the type to fight with a girl."

  "I'm not a girl."

  He fixed his eyes on my chest. "Coulda fooled me."

  I reddened. "You know what I mean, I'm a woman, dammit."

  "Same thing."

  "Oh my god."

  "Say that again."

  "What?" My entire body was blushing now.

  "Say, oh my god."

  "Why?"

  He grinned at me crookedly. "I like making you say that. Wonder what else I could do that'd make you say that. Or scream it."

  My blush threatened to burn me away. Without another word, I flounced through the crowd on the porch, throwing elbows like Ingrid and yanked the glass doors open to step into the blessed warmth.

  I needed to find someplace to collect myself for a minute, but Ingrid was right there, jumping and laughing drunkenly at my elbow. "Oh my god, Delaney you absolute slut, how was it? That was incredible, Jesus fuck he is so fine I could go completely straight for the rest of my life, I swear, I wouldn't touch another pair of boobies in my life as long as he kissed me like he just kissed you. You bitch, you absolute bitch!"

  "Don't call me that." I was starting to panic.

  She was still too wound up to care. "What, the truth?" she laughed.

  "I'm not a slut!" I shouted, louder than I meant to. My head was swimming. Several heads turned my way. I couldn't take it anymore. With a stifled cry, I launched myself in the direction of the front doorway.

  Chapte
r 17

  Lexi

  I had parked my car way too far away, the snow making it impossible to find an open parking spot. As soon as my feet hit the sidewalk, I instantly regretted my rash decision. The mother in me worried for Ingrid's safety.. The party was getting wilder and wilder, and I wanted to stay and watch out for her. Make sure she didn't do anything she regretted.

  Not that Ingrid seemed to regret much of anything. It was me who was filled with regret at this moment. I was regretting kissing Crash just as much as I was regretting not kissing him harder. The turmoil inside my brain propelled me forward into the night, my hands jammed into the pockets of my inadequate snow coat, my shoulders hunched against the bitter cold.

  I probably shouldn't drive, I thought. My whole body smelled like bourbon. The fire burned in my belly. With each step, I felt drunker and drunker. As I turned the corner onto the street where my car was parked, I stumbled slightly on an icy patch, and went down hard. With a small shriek, I landed in a snow pile with no recollection of why my ankle was hurting so badly.

  I heard a sound and looked up. For several seconds I was confused, until I realized it was the sound of applause. There were three guys huddled in the doorway of the high-rise on the corner, laughing at me as they finished their cigarettes. "Had a little too much?" one of them called.

  I wanted to tell them to mind their own business, but my mouth wasn't cooperating. I only made a small, aggrieved sound, which made them laugh harder. "Damn girl, you're a mess."

  The world was spinning, hard, and everything was happening in flashes, like I was in some sort of stop motion animation. At one moment the guys were still in the doorway. The next thing I knew one was at my side. A searing pain shot up from my knee. I blinked again and I was being pulled towards the doorway. I try to move, and heard only laughter. And suddenly there were hands on my body. Cold hands. Grasping at my flesh. Gripping my breasts. Tugging at my jeans.

  I summoned everything I had and let out a scream.

  There was a shout, and suddenly the hands were gone. I heard several dull thuds and some cursing, but I was just grateful to be allowed to sink to the ground and press my overheated cheek against the cool cement wall. Everything slowly swam into view. I was in the doorway of a student housing high-rise, and my would-be assailants were running away from me. I couldn't figure out why.

  "Lexi? You okay? They hurt you?"

  I blinked and try to focus. His dark brows were furrowed in concern. He looked different with his knit cap and leather jacket on. But his dark blue eyes were the same, and that was how I recognized Crash as my savior.

  I tried to speak, but that same slurring noise was all I could muster.

  "Okay, you need to sleep."

  "Need…Go home…"

  "You're not going anywhere like that, too dangerous."

  "Where…So tired…"

  "Shit, I'm sorry Lexi. This is my fault." And with that I felt myself hauled to my feet. I wavered unsteadily and nearly pitched forwards, but his strong arms gripped me like I weighed nothing and suddenly I was aloft, cradled in his arms like a baby. "I live half a block down," he muttered.

  "Not…Can't…Going home with you…"

  His face swam into focus as he looked down at me. "I may be a complete asshole, but I'm no rapist, Lexi. You can sleep on my couch. I promise you'll be perfectly safe."

  I had no choice but to trust him. There was no way I was going to be able to get home safely. I drifted in and out, the rocking motion of being carried lulled me like a baby being soothed in her mother's arms. I blinked back into focus when he opened the door to a small apartment. I wrinkled my nose when the smell hit me; that unmistakable scent of man. But when I sniffed again, I discovered that the combination was not entirely unpleasant.

  Crash lowered me carefully onto his battered old couch, I heard a few doors slam, then felt the slight jostle and warmth of him tucking me in with a scratchy blanket. There was the tug of my boots being removed, and then he lifted my head. When he laid it back down I felt he had put a pillow behind it.

  "Sleep it off, you'll feel better in the morning." He paused. "Or way worse," he chuckled.

  As I laid there on the unfamiliar couch, my thoughts too disjointed to dream, I remembered Crash's lips on mine. His strange mixture of roughness mixed with gentleness reminded me of someone I had lost. I felt something on my face, and when I touched it my fingers came away wet with my tears.

  Chapter 18

  Case

  "What are they?" Teach prodded the little white pill with a mixture of fear and disgust.

  Case leaned back in his chair. Being in Teach's office always made him feel like a bad kid. He liked it better when they discussed business out in the clubhouse, but this was too delicate a situation to have out in the open. "Pain pills mostly," Case wasn't sure of the name. "Bruce says he can cut us in to his supply chain pretty easily."

  "I don't like having to depend on a middleman like that," Teach sniffed.

  Case shook his head. "Neither do I. I've already started putting together a list of distributors. Get our own team going. Nobody said we had to depend on Bruce for the rest of our lives."

  "I don't know. I still don't like drugs. Seen too many good brothers get fucked up too quickly on that shit."

  Case smiled. "You know, I figured you might say something like that. Which is why I thought we might write a new section of the bylaws. No touching the merchandise." Teach nodded as Case went on. "We sell, we don't use."

  "You give any thought to the penalty for someone get caught using?"

  "Well I thought that would be your job, as Prez."

  Teach looked at him cagily. "Gonna have to be something youenforce…"

  Case let out a whoosh of breath. "Fine, first offense is a black eye, second offense…"

  "Second offense you turn in your colors."

  Case startled. That was way harsher than what he would have come up with. Teach wasn't fucking around. "So be it, then. Second offense you lose your colors."

  "You can enforce that?"

  He thought for a moment. None of the brothers ever really used anything stronger than weed. Alcohol was the drug of choice amongst the Sons of Steel MC. Case couldn't imagine a situation where he would have to actually enforce these new bylaws. "Yeah," he said slowly, nodding. "Yeah, I got this."

  Teach nodded, then folded up the little baggy Bruce had provided, then wrapped it back up into the bar napkin. "We run it by the group of course. Everyone should know about our new business venture." Teach smiled at Case. "And I want you to get the credit for bringing this to our attention. More money, more respect."

  "That's what I'm aiming for," Case nodded.

  At the club meeting the vote was unanimous. The changes to the bylaws were accepted without hesitation, with even Dr. D, who used to write prescriptions for the very same medications, saying that there was really no way they could go wrong. Pills were a lot easier than the hard shit, like cocaine or meth. You had less chance of dealing with some hopped up asshole with an itchy trigger finger for your customer. And the people on the front end of the supply lines were much more likely to be former cancer patients, than cartel members. Simple and sweet, he declared it, and the rest of the club took him at his word.

  They celebrated hard that night, Case flush with triumph. In the back of his mind he was already spending all the money he knew would be rolling in. He would use his cut of the profits to hire a lawyer, or maybe a private investigator, with knowledge of the system who could maybe track down the foster families of his brothers. He just needed to know that they were happy. He just wanted to say hi, at least once. To look them in the eye and tell them that he had tried his best by them. That he was sorry he wasn't able to keep them safe.

  "You missed a hell of a party last night." Case shook himself from his reverie when he heard Crash.

  "Oh yeah?" He smirked. "I figured it was worth missing for the chance to bring in some new business."

  "Bullshit,"
Crash snorted. "This shit fell into your lap and you know it."

  Case grinned. "Okay fine, but at least I was available to take advantage of the situation."

  Crash looked thoughtful for a second. "I had the ability to take advantage of a situation of my own last night, but I didn't. Had a drunk as shit girl on my couch, and I barely even touched her. She had great titties too."

  Case rose to the bait. He was feeling celebratory, may as well let Crash spin one of his wild stories. "What was a drunk as shit girl doing on your couch?"

  "Well, her being drunk as shit was partially my fault."

  "Oh only partially?"

  Crash cocked his head to the side. "Well she didn't have to swallow it while I poured the bourbon down her throat."

  Case laughed. "Oh so that's how you get them. Mystery solved." He raised his voice. "Hey everyone! I found the secret of Crash's pussy chasing success!"

  "Hey cut that shit, I felt bad." Craft shook his head and grinned ruefully. "It was a new feeling, I'll admit, this whole guilt thing. But there is something about this girl, something different. She wasn't like all the rest of the little skanks."

  "And she had great titties too, huh?"

  Crash's eyes gleamed. "Oh man and these lips, I ain't never seen lips like that on a white girl before. You know I like my señoritas, but man she almost qualified. And she had this red hair…"

  "Red hair you say?"

  "Yeah you like the redheads don't you?"

  Case shook his head, trying to dislodge the memory. "They remind me of someone, someone…Special I guess."

  Crash nodded. "First love, I hear you," he paused. "They told me I had one of those, back before, you know, the whole nearly dying thing. She came to the hospital. Said we were a couple. Said we were in love and all this flowery shit, and I just looked at her. I had never seen her before in my life."

  Case was startled. "You sure about that?"

  "Positive," Crash nodded. "She was a complete stranger. Except she sure as fuck didn't think so. Made her cry. I felt kind of bad for a while. I tried…Tried to pretend like I was her boyfriend and shit, but it just wouldn't work anymore."