“No, although as I said, she does get irritated when my position in hell interferes with date night. Or Sunday family dinner. Other than that, she’s been as supportive of my work as I am of her position in Accident as head witch.”
I sighed. “I enjoy the time I spend with Glenda. Being with her feels right. But I can’t imagine not being a crossroads demon.”
“What exactly does she object to about your job?”
I held my hands up. “I’ve got no idea. Everything was fine when I left. She knew I had work to do, but I didn’t specify what and she didn’t ask. Then when I came by later, she threw me out.”
Lucien shrugged. “Could be she’d just had a bad day? Try again tomorrow, and maybe she’ll have forgotten all about…whatever it was she thinks you did.”
“Really? That’s what I should do?”
“Sure. It’s better than moping around or asking me for advice.” Lucien gave up and pushed the half-eaten pie aside. “How about I talk to Cassie? I can have her speak to Glenda and see if she can smooth things over? I can’t promise anything will come of it, but it may help.”
I thought for a moment. “I don’t think that would do any good, but I’d be grateful for any help. There’s something else you need to know, though. We have a contract, a contest. Whoever wins gets what they most desire.”
Lucien choked on his coffee. “You can’t take her soul. Cassie would kill me if I let a demon take one of her sister’s souls.”
I frowned, wondering if he was speaking figuratively.
“I wouldn’t be so foolish,” I reassured the other demon. “As much as I want her soul, I know that I’d never be allowed to keep it. The thought of her soul in the possession of another demon, of him doing whatever he wished with her…that is something I could never allow to happen.”
Lucien leaned back in the booth. “Then what exactly did you intend on demanding if you won?”
I squirmed, unable to admit to Lucien what I really wanted. It would make me sound weak, like a fool. He was right. I was mooning over a witch, wanting things that I’d never have. I should bail on the contest, but the part of me that was a crossroads demon would never allow that to happen. Instead I’d need to think of something else for my prize, because of course I’d win. I had the power of hell behind me. I’d win and I’d ask for something like a ginger cake, or a catered dinner for two, and then maybe Glenda would give me another chance.
“I haven’t decided yet,” I confessed, a mixture of emotions roaring through me. Excitement that I’d be seeing Glenda again in three days whether she wanted to see me or not. Eager anticipation to try whatever she was making for our challenge. And fear.
Fear about what she’d do when I won.
Fear about what I’d do when I had to accept I’d lost everything I wanted.
Chapter 15
Glenda
“Men suck. Demons suck.” I downed the tequila shot and slammed it on the bar.
“Hell, yeah!” Adrienne followed my example, not even flinching as she threw the shot down her throat. My sister had answered my plea for help, showing up at Pistol Pete’s dressed in her tan Perkins Wildlife Control shirt and followed by one of the biggest vultures I’d ever seen.
I hadn’t asked. And now I really wasn’t in any condition to ask. Clearly my tolerance for alcohol had gone way down over the years, while Adrienne’s had held up. She was drinking me under the table. And that buzzard was eyeing me with a judging expression I really didn’t appreciate.
“What?” I snapped at the bird. “I’m not drunk. I’m just…relaxed.”
I swear the vulture raised an eyebrow. Did vultures have eyebrows? Maybe I should Google that. I got out my phone, but my fingers didn’t seem to be working right and I ended up with a whole lot of links for Vulcan stoves and articles about Leonard Nimoy.
Hmmm. Vulcan stoves.
“So what exactly did this demon do?” Adrienne ran a finger around the rim of her shot glass.
“Nearly destroyed my career. I’m going to become a celibate. No dating. No sex. Just cooking and work. Maybe I’ll take up stained glass or something if I need a hobby. Or go back to rock climbing.”
Adrienne jerked her head toward me. “Your career? He messed with your appliances? Your cooking?”
The expression of horror on her face was vindicating. She understood.
I’d always considered myself equally close to all of my sisters, but in my moment of need, I’d decided to call on the ones who wouldn’t be in a position where they felt they had to defend their demon mates. Ophelia’s dude Nash wasn’t technically a demon, but she was working tonight. Sylvie’s Eshu was some weird not-a-demon-but-a-demon, but he also had loose lips and was well known for causing a roller-coaster of chaos. Plus Sylvie was a therapist and I really didn’t need her analysis of my childhood, commitment issues, and sex life right now.
That left Adrienne and Babylon. Adrienne had arrived at the bar first, with the vulture in tow. Babylon said she was on her way.
“He sabotaged the gnome birthday party catering job,” I told my sister. “Coriander in the slugs. They all ended up vomiting. Ruined the whole event and probably ruined my reputation. I’m going to do my best to make it up to them, but it will probably take years before any of the supernaturals in Accident trust me with any specialized dietary needs.”
Adrienne sucked in a breath and gestured for the bartender. “Sheesh, Glenda. That’s horrible. Why would he do that?”
I shrugged, tears blurring my vision. “Because that’s who he is. He’s a crossroads demon and he torments humans who have made deals with him. We had a wonderful two days cooking and talking and laughing and…you know.”
“Sex?” Adrienne saluted me with the empty shot glass, a sly grin on her face.
“Yes, sex.” I felt my face heat up at the thought. I’d slept with him. We’d done a whole lot more than sleeping. I’d actually had sex with someone on top of one of my stainless steel prep tables—that’s how much this demon had enthralled me.
The vulture made a grunting noise and Adrienne rolled her eyes. “Oh shut it, Drake.”
“Drake?” I frowned down at the judgey vulture.
“I named him after the singer,” Adrienne confessed. “Isn’t he cute? He’s been following me around for the last few weeks. Last night I woke up to find him perched on the headboard of my bed.”
That was super creepy. I gave the vulture another glare then turned to the bartender, ordering a second round of shots. Or maybe it was the third?
“Anyway, I was stupid enough to trust him. It was just like all the other guys—they fall in love with my food—and you know I can’t resist a man that loves my food.”
“He’s hot?” Adrienne prodded. “Everyone is in love with your food. It can’t just be that.”
It wasn’t. “Yes, he’s hot. And he showed up at my house two days after I met him, trying to get me to make a deal with him, to wager my soul. I refused, and he ended up staying all day and helping me cook. We had…we had so much fun.” My voice hitched thinking of how I’d felt working with Xavier by my side. We’d talked. We’d laughed. And the sexual tension had grown with every passing hour. I’d been such a fool.
“He came back the next day and helped again,” I continued. “That’s when we ended up in bed. All night. He was gone this morning, and I got everything loaded and ready for the gnome party. We were the only two who touched those slugs. It had to have been him who added the coriander. I caught him trying to tamper with my ginger cake the first time we met, so I know that’s his thing. I’m such an idiot to have trusted him, to have slept with him.”
Adrienne patted my shoulder. “Glenda, don’t be so hard on yourself. I’ve slept with all sorts of losers. It happens. I’ll help make things right with the gnomes. I took care of a mole problem for them last year and they owe me one.” The vulture grunted again and my sister reached around to toss the bird a peanut. “You were right to kick him out, though. Good riddance. If
he shows up again, I’ll give him a case of lice he’ll never forget.”
I grimaced. “Actually he’s going to be at the werewolf barbeque.”
Adrienne’s eyes narrowed. “Then I’ll make sure the lice are ready.”
That made me giggle. Then I remembered the stupid wager I’d made, and that wiped the smile right off my face. “I’d appreciate that, but I’m not sure how much good it will do. I betted him that I could make a better brisket. Winner gets whatever they want.”
Adrienne nearly choked on her peanuts. “You made a deal with him? A crossroads demon? Oh, Glenda, how could you?”
“Like I said. I was an idiot. I trusted him. We made a bet that day about who could make the best lunch, and I won. It was flirty and sexy and I just assumed this bet would be the same.” I bit my lip, really wanting another shot of tequila. “But I think if he wins this bet, he’ll want my soul.”
The vulture hissed and power whipped around Adrienne, her aura shifting to blue and violet. “Over my dead body. None of us will let that happen, Glenda. Cassie won’t let that happen. She’s banging the son of Satan. That’s got to pull some weight.”
“But I made a deal. I voluntarily agreed to this. Hell, I was the one that proposed it.” I stared glumly down at my empty shot glass. “I don’t think Lucien, or any of you can help me. I just need to make the best brisket ever, and hope Xavier’s isn’t better.”
“You’ll win,” Adrienne announced. “If it has to do with food, you’ll win.”
There was an edge of worry in her voice that told me she wasn’t as confident as she seemed. I had two days until the werewolf barbeque—two days to work my magic and try to save my soul. And after I won, I’d let Adrienne lice that demon and banish him from Accident forever.
The front door flung open and I along with Adrienne and the other three occupants of the bar turned to see a petite red-haired witch burst into the bar. She had on a black mini skirt and a black tank-top with a white skull imprinted across the front.
Babylon. The youngest of my sisters, and the only Perkins in known memory to be gifted with the skill of necromancy. She stopped halfway through the bar, staring at the vulture.
“Whoa! That is one sick bird, Addy. Where’d you get him?”
As witches we were all a little on the odd side, but Babylon with her affinity for the dead was the sister even we considered weird. Adrienne was like Snow White on steroids with her animal communication skills. Ever since she’d been a child she’d been collecting animal friends, and not just the fuzzy and feathered woodland creature kind either. Addy liked bugs and creepy crawlies just as much as she did the cute animals. The only thing stranger than seeing your sister best friends with a swarm of wasps or a nest of spiders was seeing your youngest sister animating corpses.
“That’s Drake.” Adrienne made the introductions and Babylon knelt down to put herself at eye level with the bird. It wasn’t something I’d do, given how sharp Drake’s beak looked.
“I love vultures!” Babylon exclaimed. “This is way cooler than the time you had that colony of fire ants in your backyard.”
“I miss the fire ants,” Addy said with noticeable regret. “Stupid neighbor and his lawn chemicals.”
“These guys can pick a carcass squeaky clean in an hour,” Babylon informed me. “Their beaks are like freakin scapels.”
“Nice to know.” I eyed the bird’s beak with renewed respect.
“Can you bring him over next week sometime?” Babylon asked Adrienne. “I want to do a skeleton army of mice, and it would be so much easier with his help. Better than trying to boil all their flesh off, especially since a few of them are a bit ripe.”
Annnnd it was time to change the subject before I barfed up my tequila.
“How about you guys keep the disgusting details of that project for later, okay?” I patted one of the stools. “Belly up to the bar, Lonnie. We’re drinking tequila. Or have we switched back to beer?”
“Tequila is totally my jam. What did I miss?” my youngest sister asked, squeezing between Adrienne and me. “How many drinks have you had yet? Damn it, I’m behind. Pete! I need to catch up. Send two shots of tequila my way and get us all another round.”
We caught her up on the news as Babylon slammed down two shots of tequila. By the time Adrienne had told her about my latest bet with Xavier, we were all facing a third shot of tequila.
“No biggie. You’re absolutely going to win this thing with sexy-crossroads-demon,” Babylon told me. “No one’s food comes close to yours. The gnome thing will blow over in a few days, and you’ll wipe the floor with this demon at the werewolf party.”
“Let’s drink to that!” Adrienne lifted her shot glass and Lonnie and I did the same.
The tequila didn’t burn like the first two shots had. Instead a pleasant warmth spread through me and I smiled, suddenly feeling like everything was right in the world. Although a tiny bit of my brain was well aware that come tomorrow morning, I’d probably have the worst hangover ever.
“So, what do you want?” Babylon asked me. “When you win, what are you going to ask him to do for you? Or give you?” She winked. “Or do to you?”
I blinked, suddenly envisioning a re-do of the last few days. Not the sort of re-do where I slammed the door in Xavier’s face and never even let him in. No, the sort of re-do where he didn’t tamper with the slugs, and the gnome party had been a huge it. I’d come home, and when he’d arrived, we’d eat the leftover sour cherry pie, then made love. And when I woke up, he was there.
That’s what I wanted. But it wasn’t going to happen, and I didn’t want to admit to my sisters that I had somehow managed to fall for a demon I’d met four days ago, and feared I’d never get over him. Ever.
“I don’t know if what you want is possible,” Adrienne said, making me wonder if mind-reading was one of her talents. “He sounds like a total ass, Glenda. You can do better. Ask him for something ridiculously extravagant when you win, then boot his ass to the curb.”
My mind immediately went to the Mugnaini wood-fired pizza oven.
Babylon shrugged. “Personally, I like asshole guys. I think you should go for it. When you win, make him your love slave for a few weeks. Just make sure you stipulate that he needs to stay out of your kitchen.”
“My kitchen is most of my house,” I protested.
“No biggie. Just confine him to the bedroom,” Babylon said. “That’s where you want him anyway.”
My mind immediately went to Xavier and me on top of my stainless steel table and I felt myself flush. But that wasn’t just where I wanted him. It wasn’t just sex. If it had been, I wouldn’t be so upset. No, we’d had a camaraderie, a connection—at least I’d thought we had. That’s why I felt so betrayed by his sabotage of the slugs.
Suddenly I didn’t want to talk about Xavier any more. Or think about him. I didn’t want to remember how alive I’d felt the last two days when we’d been together. I didn’t want to go back to my house that suddenly seemed so empty and bleak.
I’d vented. I’d had my pity party and gotten support from my sisters. Now it was time to move on.
“You’re both coming to the werewolf barbeque, right?” I asked. “I’m making some really amazing stuff—not just the brisket.”
Babylon and Adrienne exchanged a glance.
“We’ll be there,” Adrienne said, and I knew that it wasn’t just because of the food, or because this was a special event in our town. She’d be there for me. And so would Babylon.
So would all my sisters. Xavier might get my soul, but if he won, I was sure that six witches would make his eternal life a living nightmare.
“Thanks.” I flagged Pete down again, deciding that we might want to switch to beer if any of us were to have a chance of making it out of the bar on our own two feet.
“Lice,” Adrienne reminded me. “The guy is going to have a whole lot of lice. And I might have Drake shit on his head as well.”
“Zombies,” Babylon ad
ded. “He’ll have a hard time getting anything done with a pack of zombies following him around. Plus they stink. Oh, and they attract a lot of flies.”
“Flies are good.” Adrienne nodded. “Flies and lice. That demon will rue the day he ever screwed with a Perkins witch. Or screwed a Perkins witch.”
I laughed, then ordered a round of beers. Sisters. My love life might be in shambles, my heart bruised, my career reputation smudged, but no matter what, my sisters would always be there for me.
Always.
Chapter 16
Glenda
I slept in Thursday, indulging in my hangover until well past noon. Then I drug my sorry butt out of bed, got a shower, forced down what food my rebellious stomach could tolerate, and headed up Heartbreak Mountain. Veering off a back road, I circled around the west side of the mountain to Clinton’s compound. There hadn’t been any improvements over the last month mostly because part of the peace treaty between the wolf packs meant Clinton’s group would be moving to their fifty acres on Savior Mountain next month, and every effort had gone into building a new compound on what was nothing more than rocks, trees, and briars. So far a new alpha house had been roughed out, and land cleared for a dozen temporary housing structures, but that was it. There wasn’t much time for them to get everything reasonably livable, but now that Dallas’ compound had been rebuilt, I was hoping some of his pack would pitch in and help Clinton. After all, it was in their best interests to get the other, smaller pack off Heartbreak Mountain and established in their own territory.
Word of my arrival must have preceded me, because Clinton was out front of the alpha house, waiting for me. I parked and pulled one of the sour cherry pies from the back seat of my van.
Clinton sniffed the air appreciatively as we greeted each other. “I hope that’s for me, because it smells darned good.”
“It is.” I handed him the pie. There was another in the backseat for Dallas. No sense in having six pies go to waste at my house, and I certainly couldn’t eat them all myself.
Minions and Magic: Accidental Witches Book 5 Page 10