by Lacey Legend
“But you’ve spent thirty-one Christmases with Dad!” interjected Isabella.
“Exactly. Why make it thirty-two? It might be time for a change.”
“And what about the twins?”
“The twins are getting older, Izzy. They’re twelve next year. I’m not sure they even believe in Father Christmas anymore.”
“Maybe not, but they do believe in a family Christmas. What are they going to think if their big brother isn’t there?”
“They're going to think with a twenty-one year age gap, older brothers have different priorities than falling in with Daddy’s regime.”
“Ahhh, this is to do with Dad?”
Tabitha felt distinctly uncomfortable. Saturday evenings used to be fun and gossipy. She’d assumed Freddie would blend in; instead by not adjusting her plans she’d inadvertently initiated a huge family fallout.
“No, this is to do with me and Tabitha.”
“And what would you like to do for Christmas, Tabitha?” asked Izzy pointedly.
Not be in the middle of a screaming match between two siblings, she thought. Let alone be at a dinner where my boss hates me, by partner’s younger sisters think I’m stealing their older brother and my best friend thinks I’ve betrayed her in favor of her brother.
She stirred her drink with a straw.
“Don’t be vulgar, Izzy. It’s not fair to drag Tabitha into this.”
“I think of Tabitha as part of my family. Freddie. Her opinion counts. I’ve every right to ask her.”
Tabitha held up her hands.
“Guys, I’m not here to cause a family rift. If I’m not welcome at the family Christmas, I’m content staying in my place.”
“Who said you aren’t welcome to the family Christmas?” asked Izzy and Freddie in tandem.
Tabitha often thought they were more like twins than brother and sister.
“I assumed that was the issue with Freddie’s reluctance to go. I figured if I wasn’t welcome, then he was protecting me by suggesting we do something together alone, if you know what I mean,” explained Tabitha.
“That isn’t Freddie’s reluctance to go, is it, Freddie?” pressed Izzy.
Freddie lips formed a straight line. He looked stonily around the bar, refusing to answer.
“It isn’t, is it?” his sister asked less confidently. “Dad hasn’t said anything like that.”
Truthfully, his father hadn’t said Tabitha wasn’t welcome. Not one for lying, Freddie didn’t want to be dishonest with his sister. At the same time the conversation last night and his father’s apparent genuine interest in his personal life did incline Freddie to steer clear of his father with regard to Tabitha.
He flashed a half smile at Tabitha.
“No, he didn’t say that.”
Freddie could see Izzy’s face awash with relief. He wondered how Izzy held her father in such high esteem and had so much love for him, when Roger Hastings made so little time for her. He stopped his hands from angrily clenching into fists.
Why is it, no matter what he does, Dad always seems to come out on top? Even though I’m the one who’s stood by Izzy through thick and thin, she’d rather see me upset than him. It’s like the thought of Dad being hurt tortures her and yet she can’t seem to acknowledge how his inability to love her over the years has tortured her beyond belief, thought Freddie.
As a teenager, Freddie would’ve cried in private at the sheer frustration of not being able to remove Izzy’s rose-colored spectacles when seeing her father. He would’ve punched a wall and screamed at his father for not doing better by his sister.
“I wanted the three of us to spend Christmas together. We could go to a restaurant, but I thought it might be fun if we cooked the dinner ourselves. A few carols, mulled wine, kitchen disasters. Could be fun?” he said quietly.
“What about Lily and Poppy?” chided Izzy.
“We could have the twins over on Boxing Day or take Christmas Eve off work and spend the day with them. They’d love it. They’d think it was grown up hanging out with us and not having their parents around.”
“They would love it,” agreed Izzy, “but you know Dad wouldn’t permit it.”
“Then, that needs to be explained to the twins so we aren’t seen as abandoning them.”
“I won’t abandon them, Freddie. They’re our sisters. It’s our family and however rocky our relationships might be, I won’t punish the girls. Christmas is a time for kids and we’ve always enjoyed it with them around.”
“I know that. My issue isn’t Lily and Poppy,” he reiterated.
“Clearly your issue is Dad. You’ve had a row and the thought of spending time with him seems unbearable, but you’ll patch things up. You always do; as best as you can anyway. Even if things aren’t brilliant with Dad, think how much the girls would love to meet Tabitha. I know how serious you are about Tabitha; think how great it would be for her to experience a Hastings Christmas. Let the family embrace her. Any personal difference Dad has with you won’t be projected onto Tabitha and you know it. It could be fun.”
“I am still sitting here,” piped up Tabitha, feeling she was being talked about rather than included in the conversation.
“Sorry,” said the brother and sister duo simultaneously again.
Izzy had a point. What annoyed Freddie was that Isabella wasn’t arguing because she wanted to have the family Christmas with their father, she was arguing because she wanted the twins to have a wonderful time and for Tabitha to step closer to the family. Her intentions were as honorable as ever.
I’m not Dad, remembered Freddie. I can put Izzy ahead of myself which is something he never could.
“You win,” he declared.
Freddie held his hands up admitting defeat.
“If Tabitha’s up for it, then it’s a family Christmas at the Hastings London townhouse,” concluded Freddie.
“I could be a real pain now and say I’d prefer to spend it alone with you,” said Tabitha wickedly.
“Don’t you dare!” snapped Izzy, with mock anger.
“Unless you really want to,” primed Freddie in a last ditch attempt to avoid his father.
“Sorry Freddie, but I would love to meet your younger sisters. Izzy’s been telling me loads about them and they sound adorable. Plus a chance to visit the Hastings town house is too good to pass up. I’m imagining a four poster bed in your bedroom...”
“I’m imagining something I don’t want to be thinking about,” interrupted Izzy.
She pressed two fingers in her mouth to imitate her gagging and vomiting at the thought of her brother having sex.
“Alright, I’ll keep that little fantasy till later,” sighed Tabitha in an exaggerated manner.
“Live it later if you must, but please spare me the details,” pleaded Izzy.
*
“Come in,” called Freddie in response to the sharp knock on his door.
He remained poker-faced at the sight of Samantha Dawson swinging in. Normally his PA would have announced her visitation.
“She’s on her lunch break,” remarked Samantha, as if reading his mind.
A faint smile crossed his face. No matter how much distance he tried to put between himself and Samantha in the past, he’d let her get too close so she was now able to read him like a book.
“May I sit?”
He slowly nodded his head. There’d been a time when he’d been the one to run his hands through her silky honey blonde hair. A time when his fingers caressed her heart shaped face. A time when his eyes gazed adoringly into her sea-green ones. A time when his arms wrapped round her to hold her safe at night. He didn’t miss it, but he couldn’t pretend to himself that it never happened.
“Is this a social or business call?”
“Business, but I’m guessing from the look on your face that business isn’t quite at the top of the list of your priorities at the moment.”
At this comment Freddie’s smile widened. He sighed and rubbed his hands over his
face.
“Ever find yourself in a situation where you’re trying to please everyone and in the process you’re making yourself miserable?”
“No. You know me. I’m very adept at putting myself first. Because I do that, I rarely find myself feeling torn over decisions because I know I’ve done what’s best for me.”
“I admire your honesty,” laughed Freddie.
He meant it. It was a refreshing quality, but at the same time Samantha’s selfish streak had been the main contributing factor to the demise of their relationship.
Samantha observed Freddie carefully and finally sat down. Her grey pin striped skirt suit was conservative and bland, but the long legged, toned figure beneath it was as pleasant to look at. If she was reading the situation correctly, Freddie was having difficulty keeping her at arm’s length. She’d been mortified when he rebuffed her invitation to dance at the Christmas party, but it seemed he’d forgotten that or was too polite to hold her drunken antics against her.
“I do recall your tendency to put others ahead of yourself and I’m guessing in bending over backwards to please people, you’ve got yourself into a bit of a bind.”
Samantha’s assumptions were frighteningly accurate. Freddie’s inability to always put her first and continually put his family ahead of her whims and fancies had been a source of frustration during their times together. She’d learned a lot from Frederick Ravensdale in their courtship and held his selflessness in great esteem.
Freddie’s large hand clenched on the soft stress toy. He crushed it in his grip and watched the fluorescent pink toy brain take its shape when he loosened his hold.
“Did you want to talk about it?” asked Samantha, breaking the silence forming between them.
“No, but I probably should. A problem shared and all that.”
“Isn’t that something you should be doing with Tabitha?”
Samantha was unable to bite her tongue and stop the catty words escaping.
“I don’t particularly want to drag Tabitha into the unpleasant, sticky politics of my family.”
“Can she see you’re upset? Hasn’t she even asked what’s bothering you?”
“Of course she has,” answered Freddie loyally. “She’s intuitively tuned in to my moods, which can be comforting at times and troublesome at others.”
“She’s too pushy?”
“Not pushy, just....American. She wants to have everything out in the open so it can be discussed and resolved.”
Samantha didn’t let herself support Tabitha publicly, but personally she had to admit it sounded like a sensible and productive idea.
“It’s not very you, is it?” she continued.
Best to highlight the differences between the two to make him rethink their compatibility, thought Samantha.
“Far from it. I am trying to change,” he confessed; rolling his eyes at what sounded like a saccharine comment regarding the positive effect Tabitha had on him.
“She moves at a faster pace, though? Expects too much too soon?”
“I’m not sure I’d even say that. I think welcoming her into the family fold might scare her off. I’m not sure she’s able to contend with the complexities of our relationships all at once. Sadly, all the tinsel in the world won’t hide the cracks in our household,” mused Freddie.
“I don’t know. I always remember Christmases at the Hastings town house being quite an extravaganza.”
Freddie could’ve kicked himself for his insensitivity. Given their shared history, this would be the first Christmas where Freddie and Samantha would officially be apart. To hear him moaning about protecting a new girlfriend and discussing Christmas plans would be akin to a knife in her heart.
“I don’t suppose you fancy going out for lunch?” prompted Freddie.
Samantha stopped a grin spreading over her face.
“Sure, why not?” she replied casually.
Getting up in his sharp tailored suit, Freddie slipped into his winter jacket. Taking the elevator down and striding through reception, the women on the front desk exchanged a look. It was like old times seeing Freddie and Samantha stepping out for lunch. Within seconds the younger of the two receptionists was on her email to spread the word.
“Fancy something new or something familiar?”
“Something familiar,” decided Samantha. “it’s way too cold and I need something comforting for my lunch.”
Freddie assumed Samantha’s gesture of slipping her arm through his was one of friendship. To be back on the arm of the striking Frederick Ravensdale filled Samantha’s heart with hope. Perhaps all was not lost. Having had his taste of freedom, maybe Freddie was now in an informed position to be able to review his circumstances and decide a life without Samantha wasn’t the opportunity he assumed it would be.
Confidently, Freddie flagged a cab – asking the driver to the OXO Tower.
“I haven’t been in ages,” gushed Samantha, excited at the prospect of fine dining in such a lavish venue.
“Me neither,” said Freddie.
Having paid the cab driver for the trip to Southbank on the Thames River, Freddie joined Samantha in gazing upward.
“It is a superb venue for a restaurant.”
“Better than the Shard, I think,” sniped Samantha, in reference to the time she’d interrupted Freddie on a date with Tabitha some months back.
“Equally as good,” said Freddie neutrally.
Taking the elevator to the eighth floor, Samantha was secure knowing that even without a reservation in the busy period, Freddie’s name would ensure they were provided with a table for lunch.
There was a luxurious and elegant ambiance to the restaurant in its leather-clad bar, slate tables and simple chair designs – a perfect mixture of classic decor with modern touches. The blue neon lighting throughout was more effective at night. What never failed to impress Samantha was the large open plan kitchen on display to all patrons. It smacked of a culinary class that other restaurants found difficult to rival.
Squeezed in at the last moment, Freddie thanked the maître’d for his hospitality and customer service. The table afforded them a view directly across to the landmark of St Paul’s Cathedral.
“Think the menu’s changed much?”
Freddie shrugged. He suddenly felt weird being alone with Samantha out of the office. Wallowing in self-pity, he’d been grateful for a familiar face and shoulder to cry on, but now it seemed (however innocent) that inviting her for lunch was wholly inappropriate.
“I don’t know. Even if it has, I’m sure the food will be great.”
Samantha could sense the awkwardness developing between them. The easy banter from earlier seemed to be dissipating the longer they stayed out of the office. She wasn’t sure whether to set the conversation back in motion with a work topic or something closer to Freddie’s heart.
“You’ll be spending Christmas with your father then?” she inquired
“Against my better judgment, yes.”
“Since when did you stop following your better judgment?”
“Since my sister befriended my girlfriend, and decided to assist us in how we manage our relationship.”
“Whatever happened to three’s a crowd!”
“Izzy isn’t a spare wheel,” assured Freddie. “She’s.....keen to do what’s right without having all the facts.”
“You two are close; why not enlighten her on the facts?”
“Because it would hurt her if I did. It would damage her relationship with Roger and for reasons unknown to me she values his somewhat minimal paternal influence in her life.”
“Where does Tabitha fit in?”
“She doesn’t. That’s the problem. She fits perfectly with me. She fits perfectly with Izzy and that’s how I can say with conviction Izzy isn’t a third wheel. I don’t think Tabitha will ever fit with what Roger expects or who he believes I should be spending my time with.”
Samantha knew she’d accepted the invitation to lunch with Freddie
under the guise of a friend. Hearing him talk about a girl he clearly loved stung. Even worse was knowing that Roger had always approved of Freddie and Samantha’s relationship. His father’s approval of pairing up with Samantha didn’t register with Freddie and he never fought to save their relationship. Roger’s disapproval of Tabitha appeared to be driving the new couple closer.
“Surely seeing your youngest siblings for Christmas is an incentive to cheer up a bit. Do you still join them for the family roast every Sunday?”
“I’ve been in South Africa, haven’t I?” mumbled Freddie.
“But before then?”
Freddie’s hand went to his tie. Samantha knew she’d cornered him. Freddie had clearly been neglecting his half-sisters in favor of Tabitha.
“The difficulty is because Tabitha and I work together, it impacts on our free time. The evenings and weekends are pretty much the only time we have as a couple. Lily and Poppy are great, but kid sisters have a habit of clinging onto the grown up brother and...”
“Lily and Poppy are cramping your style with Tabitha?”
Freddie was greatly relieved when the waiter came to take their order. To calm his nerves and create a little courage to survive the luncheon, he ordered a bottle of wine to share and insisted on a stiff Scotch to be served straight away. He mentally hoped Samantha had concluded her line of inquisition.
Having placed her order, she immediately reverted back to the discussion.
“You were saying about Lily and Poppy are cramping your style.”
“No, you were. I was saying no such thing. It’s natural in a new relationship to get a little insulated and caught up with one another. It’s not like I don’t call – well, text as is the nature of their generation - regularly.”
“We used to have fun with the girls.”
“You’ve known them since they were born,” said an exasperated Freddie. “Plus I was working at Hastings-Bass long before you joined. Our relationship happened before it became a work and personal life thing.”
Secretly, Samantha was pleased Freddie hadn’t introduced his engaging twin siblings to Tabitha. She had one over Tabitha. Tabitha hadn’t been accepted by his family and that would have a severe negative impact on the burgeoning romance.