by Amy Lynn
I turned around in his grip, not really thinking anything about it other than the fact that I wanted to lift myself onto the vanity. In doing so, I put Brad and I in a somewhat intimate position. Brad immediately dropped his hands and took a tiny step back.
“Sorry, I just need to sit,” I explained, putting the edge of my butt cheeks against the cold stone and hoisting myself up.
Brad simply nodded as he wrung out the washcloth and handed it to me for placement against my nose.
I sat there with the cool cloth against my face, swinging my legs from side to side. I was never one to let my legs simply dangle anywhere without giving them a swing.
After a few minutes, Brad took the washcloth, folding the large red patch to the middle, and examined me. “Looks like the bleeding has stopped,” he said as he wiped my face with the now clean side of terry. “Smile for me.”
“What?”
“Smile. I want a big one. Show me your teeth.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.”
I did as he asked with a big silly smile.
He nodded and looked away in an effort to hide his own. “Still perfect.”
I hadn’t even thought about the possibility of my teeth being damaged in the fall, and I couldn’t be more glad that my nose had taken one for the team.
Jumping off the counter, I washed my hands, splashing some of the cold water onto my face.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Ava.”
I met his eyes in the mirror, and I wasn’t really sure which time he was apologizing for. Right now, it didn’t really matter. This was a step in the right direction towards healing, and I was gladly taking it.
“I’m fine,” I said patting my face dry and turning to him. “See?”
I walked past him and climbed back into bed. I reached over turning back the blankets on his side giving the empty space a little pat. “It’s late. Let’s get some sleep.”
Brad didn’t move, and I chose not to make eye contact or say anything for fear of scaring him off. I simply lay my head against the pillow and closed my eyes. He’d either lie down, or he wouldn’t.
After a few minutes, the bed moved slightly, and I felt the air of the blankets as Brad pulled them over his body.
I didn’t even remember falling asleep.
Chapter 12
Ava
In the days that followed, Brad and I continued to sleep together in our bed, but not much else had changed. He worked late almost every night, and there were some nights he came home smelling of alcohol. I didn’t question it; we had too much to deal with as it was, and I didn’t need to add any more fuel to the fire. Besides, we’re nearly reduced to ashes where we stand now.
I lay in our bed, alone, staring at a picture from our wedding day. It’s a Friday night, and Brad is late again. A pattern that’s been consistent for nearly a week now. The numbers on the digital clock displayed eleven forty-five when I heard Brad come home, the door slamming shut behind him with a loud bang that echoes throughout the silent house.
I pretended to be asleep when he entered the bedroom, the smell of smoke and alcohol filling the air as he sat silent on the edge of the bed. The presence of him was heavy in the room, like a wall separating him from our marriage. Brad placed his cell phone on the nightstand, followed by the distinct metal clasp of his watch as he unfastened it. The silk fabric of his tie rasped against his shirt followed by cool rush of air over me as he tossed it onto the bed. The jingle of his belt buckle and sound of his zipper were next, then a loud curse when his foot hit the nightstand as he attempted to remove his pants before his shoes. He shushed himself when he realized how loud he had been and quietly laughed. Kicking off his shoes, he let his pants fall to the floor, his loose change scattering about that he quickly attempted to quiet.
The blankets shifted slightly when he folded them back and climbed into bed, a sigh escaping him when his head hit the pillow. I listened to him breathing steady and even. In and out, in and out, reminding myself to do the same. When his breathing became deep and even, I turned to him.
The moon lit his body as he lay on his back; he looked troubled even in his dreams with dark circles beneath his eyes, and his brows drawn slightly together. I lay awake watching him, feeling alone, and wondered if he felt the same or even cared. The distance between us was cold and empty. All memories of love between us replaced with my fear and his regret.
I wanted desperately to erase all that. I wanted to feel again. I wanted to touch him, kiss him. I wanted him to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. But now, I’m not so sure it would be.
Maybe we needed time apart. I could visit my parents in Hawaii and give Brad some space to deal with all that’s happened. After all, I’m sure it’s hard to move past something when you have a constant reminder of it staring you in the face. It’s obvious he wants to fight his demons alone, as my offer to talk about things has been indefinitely dismissed, likely accompanied with all thoughts of me.
The next day, I stood in front of a mirror putting on my makeup. I’m a girly girl, so getting ready for one of Caroline’s Charity events is kind of like my birthday and Christmas rolled into one. Thankfully, the red mark had disappeared from my cheek, but that didn’t mean I didn’t see it when I looked at myself in the mirror.
Since tonight’s event is about breast cancer awareness, pink is the theme. My dress had been custom made, thanks to Caroline, and she had gone the extra mile and had a matching tie made for Brad. Brad was adamant about not going. I told him how important it was to me, and he reluctantly agreed to go. Honestly, I’m shocked he caved, but I couldn’t be more excited he had. Maybe tonight we can finally get back to being us again.
“Would you mind helping me with this tie?” Brad grumbled.
He looked really handsome in his grey suit, and I took my time looping the fabric enjoying this rare treat to touch him.
I smoothed the silk fabric down his chest, and the simple touch of him under my fingertips was enough to send me over the edge. Rolling down the collar of his shirt, I laced my fingers together at the base of his neck, stood on my tiptoes, and aligned our lips perfectly. Brad’s hands came to my shoulders, his touch igniting deep within me, his fingertips pressing delightfully into my skin and was roughly shoved away.
“No, Ava.”
“Brad, I miss you.”
He shook his head and stepped past me. “I can’t,” he muttered and left the room.
The car ride was silent, much like the remainder of the evening. Though we were never more than a foot away from one another during the event, we couldn’t have been further apart.
Abe clapped Brad on the back. “Brad, good to see you.”
Oh God….
“Abe,” Brad said with a nod moving slightly closer to me, his hate for Abe burning in the depths in his eyes.
“Mind if I take your wife for a spin on the dance floor?”
And that’s exactly why Brad hates Abram Kent.
Brad’s eyes rake me from head to toe before he says, “Knock yourself out.”
I swallowed and blinked back the tears that threatened to betray me. Knock yourself out? Really? Did Brad not care about me at all? He just gave Chicago’s most eligible bachelor permission to dance with me like it was nothing. Like I was nothing. Didn’t he want to fight for me? For our marriage?
Abe tucked my hand in the crook of his arm and led me to the dance floor. I managed to wipe a tear just before it trailed down my cheek, and I hoped it had gone unnoticed.
“You’re far too beautiful to cry tonight, Ava,” Abe murmured without so much as a glance at me. “Brad can ruin his night if he wants to, but he won’t fuck with mine.”
Once we entered the dance floor, I put my right hand in Abe’s and my other at his shoulder. But we didn’t dance. Not until my green eyes meet Abe’s clear blue ones.
He smiled that sly smile. “There. That’s better.”
Abe was a gorgeous, successful, wealthy, fine
ly tuned machine, and women would gladly stand in line an eternity long for just one night with him. He also made it clear that he was a three F’s kind of guy. Find ‘em, Fuck ‘em , and Forget ‘em. I was human, and most times a lady, but, I had gone far too long without Brad’s touch. Being pressed so close to Abram Kent I could count his eyelashes, my body was reacting in ways far beyond my control.
“You’re so hot,” Abe quipped.
I narrowed my eyes. “Watch it, Abe.”
He flashed me a mischievous grin and whispered into my ear, “You’re sweating.” He pulled back to look into my eyes. “Here,” he said, flexing his fingers in the small of my back, letting them drift a little lower than they should have.
“Well, it’s…hot in here.”
“Is it?”
A smile I couldn’t contain spread across my face, and Abe being Abe held me tighter and a little closer. Maybe a little too close.
That better not be what I think it is pressing into my thigh...
Abe clearing his throat was all the confirmation I needed.
Pervert.
As Abe and I turned on the dance floor, the bar came into view where Brad happened to be standing. He was watching us with a fire in his eyes I’ve never seen before. Bringing his glass to his lips, he takes a long pull from the amber liquid and turns away, dismissing us both.
******
Its 1:15 am, the dining room is dark, Brad’s dinner is cold, and I’ve eaten alone for the third time this week.
It’s been two weeks since the charity event, and things between Brad and I have gone from bad to worse. I grabbed the slip of paper with the pub address I have been looking at for the last few hours, my keys from the entry table, and set off into the night for the place Brad had been rumored to frequent. Abe had given me the address in exchange of my promise to not go alone, but, let’s be honest, I couldn’t salvage my relationship with my husband while another man stood at my side. Abe’s intentions were good, but this was something had to do on my own.
I checked the address on the slip of paper twice, looking from the dive bar and back to the address listed. This was it, but it wasn’t a place Brad and I had ever been before, and I doubted we would visit in the future. Well, at least I wouldn’t.
A thick cloud of smoke billowed from the door when I entered. Jesus, was the place on fire? The air thick with smoke made visibility impossible from the doorway, so I stepped further inside, scanning the occupants looking for Brad’s familiar face. An older man nodded a hello when my eyes fell on him, and I gave a quick nod and walked in another few steps.
Brad was sitting at the bar; his head hung low with a hand curled around a glass tumbler of amber liquid. His shirt was untucked with the sleeves rolled to the elbow, his hair unruly as if he had been running his fingers through it all night, and his five o’clock shadow only emphasized his fatigue.
Brad brought the glass to his lips draining the remaining liquid, raised the glass to the bartender, and gave it a little shake signaling him to bring another.
“Brad,” I said behind him.
He looked over his shoulder when he heard my voice, but wouldn’t turn around fully to meet my eyes.
“Go home, Ava.”
“Brad,” my voice squeaked out when I repeated his name, and I cleared my suddenly dry throat. “Please come home.”
The bartender gave me a quick glance before placing the drink in front of Brad, and I wondered how often he came here.
Brad took a swallow and set the glass down harder than he should have making me jump.
“Brad. Please don’t ignore me.” After several long seconds of silence, while trying to keep the tears at bay, I put my hand on his shoulder. “Come home with me.”
He jerked away from my touch. “No.”
“I’ll go home with her,” a guy further down the bar slurred out.
Brad flicked his eyes to the guy, and he quickly found another seat.
“Brad?” I said after more silence. “I’m not leaving here until you—”
Brad whirled around on his bar stool, grabbed me by the upper arm, and hauled me to the door, shoving me through, pushing me away from him the moment the doors closed behind us.
“Get the fuck out of here!” he yelled. “I don’t want you here!”
I rubbed the place on my arm sure there would be a mark tomorrow. “Just talk to me Brad. Please.” I begged.
Brad shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. “Don’t you fucking get it? I can’t! I can’t stand to look at your face!”
“Brad...”
“Fuck! Go home Ava!” he yelled as he turned his back on me.
“I love you, Brad.” I managed to say before he disappeared into the fog of smoke. But it didn’t stop him. He left me standing in the parking lot with my heart shattered and tears streaming down my face.
I was a fool to come here. Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows.
My cell phone rang as I pulled into the driveway, and I grabbed it quickly hoping it was Brad.
Abram Kent lit up the screen.
“Did you go to the bar?” Abe asked avoiding a greeting.
“Yes, I just got home.” I said hitting the button on the garage door opener.
“Shit, Ava. I told you to call me if you were going. You shouldn’t have gone alone.” He sighed heavily into the phone. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” I answered, even though I was far from it. “Brad was there but refused to leave or even talk to me.”
“I’m sorry, Ava. I wish I were there to comfort you.”
“I appreciate that, Abe. I really do. But the only comfort you’ve ever shown a woman is with your…” I couldn’t say the rest.
Abe rumbled a deep throaty laugh. “Leave my dick out of this, Ava. Besides, don’t knock it until you try it.”
“Night, Abram.”
“Goodnight, Ava.”
As I shifted the car into park, I caught the beginning notes of a song that immediately sent shivers down my spine. Tears sprang to my eyes, and I debated for a moment to ignore the sentiment. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Switching the key to the accessory position, I increased the volume and reclined the seat as Aerosmith’s Angel filled the car. My eyes slipped closed….
I could see Brad’s handsome face as he held me close on the dance floor. His eyes were crystal clear and boring into mine causing my breath to catch and my heart to ache. I looked away from him in hopes of breaking whatever this was between us, and he smiled, lifted my right hand to his shoulder, and took a step further into me. I felt as if I lost control of my body as my arms went around his neck like that was where they were always meant to be. Brad’s hands drifted slowly down my sides and settled at my hips. The moment his chest met mine, Brad interlocked his fingers at small of my back and whispered, “I don’t plan on ever letting you go.”
And from that moment, he hadn’t…until now.
Chapter 13
Ava
Morning came early. As I headed downstairs for the day, I had no
idea if Brad made it home safely. He wasn’t in bed when I woke this morning and I had no calls or texts on my cell phone. Since he wasn’t happy about my going to the bar, I glanced towards the den hoping to maybe find him there, but that too was empty. I was still angry with Brad. I didn’t want a confrontation or even to talk about the whole mess of last night this early before work. Right now, I just wanted to make sure he was okay.
Opening the door leading to the garage and finding the vacant space next to my car opened up a pit the size of Texas in my stomach. Brad was an ultimate ass last night, but I really hoped he was safe.
A latte from Abe sat on my desk when I arrived at work that morning. Abe knew I had a rough night, and I appreciated the friendly gesture much more than he knew. I looked to his office where he sat watching me, gave him a smile, and mouthed him a thank you.
His response was a simple nod
and a salute at his temple.
I sent Brad a text around 10:00 asking if he was okay, but I didn’t get a reply until after 1:00.
It simply read: I’m Fine.
I kept busy the remainder of the day, in an attempt to separate my work from the storm that was continuously brewing in my personal life. I welcomed the break, and my work thanked me by becoming my priority.
I was locking Mia’s door when Abe spoke from behind me.
“How’s everything going, Ava?”