by Amy Lynn
“It’s chamomile tea,” she explains. “Thought it might feel good on your throat.”
Handing me a mug, I sip from it as she pulls up a chair next to me and holds my hand until Paul shows up about an hour later.
Pressing gently as I wince, Paul examines me. “Nothing seems to be broken, but let’s do an x-ray to know for certain. There’s visible bruising on your throat, but we’ll know more when we run some tests.”
Caroline’s phone rings, and she walks away to answer it. “Brad’s in the air,” she announces. “He’s gone.”
I hug her fiercely, so happy to be freed from this hell and begin to cry. I am sore and emotionally broken, but I suddenly have the energy to get moving. I want out of here. Now. Forever.
Paul takes me to the clinic where he examines me more thoroughly, concluding after x-rays, I have a hairline fracture to my rib. He explains once the bruising and swelling subsides, so would the pain.
After dropping me off at home completely exhausted, Paul taxis home while Caroline insists she spend the night. I’m really glad she’s staying. It’s been a long time since I had quality girl time.
Chapter 29
Ava
Thursday
I wake up completely on my own after having the best sleep of my life. While sore, I lie here marveling at my new beginning and daily routine. I am no longer Bradley Lauren’s puppet.
Caroline is busy going through each room of the house, pulling things I might like to take with me. I see my wedding album on the floor, which contains no more than a handful of snapshots, along with some trinkets that Brad and I had purchased on our small honeymoon. I shake my head indicating I absolutely did not want them.
Caroline fixes me breakfast, which if I’m being honest I could totally get used to. She’s one hell of a cook.
“I just thought of something,” Caroline says in the quiet kitchen after she’s had a few cups of coffee to wake up. “How did the poor bastard dress himself this morning?”
Warm coffee showers the air, as I nearly choked with laughter. I coughed and the pain in my side ached, but I laugh anyway happy I had my freedom back.
Later we pull things from my closet while Caroline packs them. I didn’t pack all of my clothing since I wanted to try and minimize my luggage, not to mention my wardrobe could use a good purging. After all, I was kind of in bad shape for hauling luggage all on my own through a crowded airport.
Paul has come back to help with my luggage and drop off a car for us to use. He carries two suitcases down the stairs and loads them into the trunk along with my other luggage Caroline and I had been putting together slowly for months.
“Ready to pawn this stuff?” Caroline asks as she carries my jewelry box to the car.
I smile and confirm, “Absolutely.”
I have my reason for pawning my jewelry. One, I can’t and do not want to take any money from the bank account. Brad will be monitoring that, and I don’t want to give him a reason to say I stole from him. All the jewelry is either a birthday, Valentine, anniversary, or ‘sorry I’m such an asshole’ gifts from Brad. Gifts that were given to me I no longer wanted or needed; therefore, I am free to do with them as I wish. Two, I will never wear a single solitary piece of that jewelry ever again due to the constant reminder of Brad and the terrible things he has done to me. I don’t want something he had given me around my neck, on my wrist, or on my finger, possessing me. That part of my life is over.
Brad and I are not rich by any means, not nearly as rich as someone like Caroline and Paul, but we live quite comfortably. I manage to get fifteen thousand dollars from the pawn of my entire jewelry box. A good start towards food and rent I think.
Brad calls to check in around 5:00.
“You’re home,” he says by way of greeting. “Good girl,” he adds as if he is praising a loyal dog.
It’s amazing how several states of distance and a shitty tone is just what I need to give me a little boost of courage “Where else would I be, Brad?”
“I swear to God Ava, don’t get smart with me.”
Maybe he’s cranky because he had to dress himself this morning. I think and cover my mouth to keep from giggling out loud.
“Did you mail the bills like I asked you to?”
“Yes.”
There is a long silence. “Alright.” Then another pause. “Ava….I’m…..Fuck it. Just forget it.”
Then the line clicks, and he’s gone.
I crawl into bed and watch TV for the rest of the night. Brad and I never do this. I didn’t even know why we have one in our bedroom, but I’m watching shows I haven’t in ages. Cooking shows, game shows, prime time dramas, and my favorite, reality shows. I didn’t even remember falling asleep, but I know I will wake with a smile.
Chapter 30
Ava
Friday
I fix myself breakfast and walk through the house aimlessly. Each room is dark, and I don’t bother turning on the lights as I enter. Dark shapes of furniture, lines from picture frames, and art pattern the rooms. Beyond the windows, the air is a dark inky hue and threatened by the slightest hint of light of morning. This is how the rooms feel to me daily. Depressing, gloomy, shadowy, weak, and sinister. Darkness hangs in each room, even on the brightest of days, and Brad makes sure it always remains this way. I am so deep in thought I almost don’t hear the phone ring.
“Hello,” I answer.
“You’re up,” Brad says cheerfully on the other end.
“I have a schedule. It’s hard to break away from that whether you’re here or not.” Silence fills the air, just like last night and whatever the problem is, I just want him to spit it out already. “What do you need, Brad?”
“I…” he pauses. “I don’t know. I just…I hate being here.”
I don’t really know what to say, so I stay silent.
“How are you?” he asks.
“Sore.”
“Don’t be a baby, Ava. I didn’t hit you that hard.”
I was not going to miss him one single bit.
He breathes heavily into the phone, and it sounds like he has it against his lips. “I miss you, Ava.”
I haven’t heard Brad say that in nearly a year. It almost makes me feel bad for what I have planned later today. Almost.
“Yeah,” I answer back, because it’s the only thing I could think of to say.
“Sorry for yesterday,” he says in a rush. “I shouldn’t have gotten so carried away.”
Wow. Brad having distance from me is really doing a number on his conscience. I’m glad I won’t be here to see how he reacts when I’m gone for good.
“I know I have a fucked up way of showing it, but I love you, Ava.”
“Me too,” I answer like a robot.
It isn’t technically a lie. I love me too.
“I’ll talk to you later.”
No, you won’t.
Then he is gone.
Caroline knocks on the door ten minutes later and fills me in on my flight and living arrangements. She and Paul are the only ones who will know my true whereabouts since all of this wouldn’t even be possible if it wasn’t for them. Sadly, I’ll have to break the news about my divorce to my parents after I’ve settled in. It’s in their best interest and for my well-being. It will be a shock especially since I was so determined to make my relationship with Brad work when I left Hawaii. I never told them about the past abuse or what I was going through now, and I don’t know if I ever will. Either way, I knew I’d have their full support.
“Here’s your new phone,” Caroline says, handing me a brand new smart phone. “The bill is registered under Jane Smith, the same name as your lease.” She rolls her eyes at the name being kind of lame and generic, but she chose it to be easy to remember and untraceable. “As soon as you arrive at the apartment building, which by the way is quite upscale, you won’t be able to get your keys until you meet with the owner. He’s quite all right with you living there under a false identity since there are celebrit
ies in the building that do the same; however, he wants to ensure privacy for the same reason. Understand?”
“Yes, but I don’t need anything fancy, Caroline.”
“Hush. I’m in charge of this. Besides, Paul and I are more than happy to do it. We want you safe.”
I nod knowing there is no arguing with Caroline once she has made up her mind. She grasps my hand between hers and squeezes. “I have a job lined up for you at Rue.”
“Rue? The Rue I did the photo shoot for?” I cover my mouth with excitement. “Caroline, this is too much.”
“Nonsense. You deserve every bit of it.”
“I cannot thank you and Paul enough for all you have done for me. Hopefully one day I can repay you.”
“You already have.” She hands me a large envelope with all the information I will need for my new life in Los Angeles and the SD card we have been using to document this awful journey and guarding so closely for the last several months.
“So,” Caroline changes the subject, “Are you going to see Abram Kent this afternoon?”
“As a matter of fact, I am. Now if you will excuse me, I need to get ready.”
Caroline winks. “I’ll let myself out then.”
Music plays softly through the air along with warm rising steam as water slowly cascades down my body. I wash every inch and repeat it again as if removing the emotional ties that bind me, careful of the bruises that mark my skin. My ribs still ache, and those words from Brad echo in my mind. “Don’t be a baby, Ava. I didn’t hit you that hard.” I close my eyes and push the vile words of my husband from my mind.
Slipping on my white silk robe, I comb through my long brown hair and secure it with an elastic tie. I begin applying makeup to the yellowing bruise on my cheekbone and fill in the scar on my eyebrow with a brown corrector pen. My full lips are covered in petal pink lipstick, a feature he always said he loved about me, yet he’s been unable to give me a tender kiss in months.
With each application of makeup, I slowly start to see myself reappear in the mirror. I look like the old me, the happy me, except my green eyes no longer sparkle, but rather appear empty of life. Love.
“Is love a tender thing?”The Shakespeare quote materializes out of nowhere in my mind, and I answer aloud and into my reflection. “It is too rough, too rude, too boisterous, and it pricks like a thorn.”
I dress in a delicate bra and panties, the satin and lace hugging my curves in all the right places and doing amazing things. I feel my face heat as I turn in the mirror glancing at the tiny patch of fabric covering my butt cheeks. The top of my stockings are lace, and I pull them to mid thigh, fastening them to the black delicate garter clips that lay against my skin. My hair nearly dry, I put on the black wrap dress, tying a neat bow at my side, and slip into my black heels.
Passing by the mirror, I stopped to look at myself. Gone is the reflection of a once loving wife whose love for her husband ran true and deep. One she vowed to honor and cherish until death do us part, and at one time meant it.
I take off my wedding ring and place it on the marble countertop, flinching at the ‘clink’ it makes against the cold stone, the sound final and definite. A handwritten note with the words of William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet lay beneath the ring of gold that is now no more than a useless paperweight.
If love be rough with you, be rough with love.
No longer yours,
Ava
I toss the bills he had asked me to mail in the trash and walk out the door, closing it on my old life forever.
*****
My heels click lightly against the marble floor as I walk down the hall to Abram Kent’s new office location. His receptionist smiles politely as I approach, giving me a once over from head to toe. “Mr. Kent is available. Go ahead back.”
I knock lightly on the closed door, and then heard a muffled “Come in.” Taking a deep breath, I enter.
Abe is sitting behind his desk absorbed in paperwork that is strewn about his desk. The sun is shining brightly through the large windows behind him, and I briefly take in the blue sky and white clouds beyond. He looks up and catches my eyes, a smile spreading instantly across his face, even though I’ve barely seen or spoken to him in the last six months.
“Ava! How lovely to see you!”
His dark hair hangs in soft waves, and his tanned skin glows. His suit jacket is hanging neatly on the back of his chair and sways as he rises to greet me. His body is lean and tall, and he has a walk that is nothing short of graceful. Dressed in black slacks with the sleeves of his light blue shirt rolled to the elbow and his tie loosened ever so slightly, he leans in kissing me lightly on the cheek, his cologne an undeniable light and airy mix.
“Please have a seat,” he says as he gestures to a nearby chair. He takes a casual seat on the corner of his desk facing me, with one long leg thrown over the corner, the other planted firmly on the floor, “What brings you by?” he asks.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me.”
“I’m divorcing Brad.”
“About fucking time.”
“I’m also leaving town for a while.”
“What? Why? Where are you going?” His questions come out rushed and panicked, and his face is set in worry.
I hold out the SD card in the palm of my hand. “I want you to see this.”
Abe reaches beyond the paperwork that covers his desk, pressing a button on the phone near his computer.
“Yes, Mr. Kent?” his receptionist answers.
“Clear my schedule for the rest of the day. Something very important has come up.”
Abe inserts the disk into a small reader and turns his monitor to face him. His eyes widen when the images flash on the screen and he scrolls through them quickly, visibly stunned by how many there are.
He runs his hands through his hair, not meeting my eyes and not saying a word.
Abe rises from the small corner of his desk, and just like that, he is inches from me, his hands caging me on either side of my chair. I could feel the heat of him before he even touched me. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would have done everything in my power to help you.” He reaches out and even though I know Abe would never harm me, my body involuntarily pulls away.
“Ava, I would never hurt you.”
His hands slowly slide around my anxious ones pulling me to my feet and into an embrace. We stand like that for a long while, just him holding me as he runs his hands down through the strands of my hair.
“Abe, I’m sorry I never returned your calls or texts…I just…”
“Stop.” he interrupts and buries his nose into my hair. “Don’t apologize for any of that shit.”
I can no longer hold back the tears, and I close my eyes in an attempt to keep them in. Even after all this time of ignored calls and messages, this man is still here to lend his friendship and support. I didn’t realize how much I truly missed Abe until now.
“He doesn’t deserve you,” Abe whispers into my ear. When I don’t respond, he places a finger under my chin, forcing me to look at him. “You’re an amazing woman, Ava. Never forget that.”
“Thank you for always being there for me. I’m going to miss you more than you know.”
Abe didn’t say anything, just smiles and places a kiss on my forehead.
Walking me to the door with his hand resting in the small of my back, he says, “Call me if you need anything, princess. Day or night.”
I saw the twinkle in his gorgeous blue eyes when he said night and knew exactly what he meant. Turning me to face him, he tenderly presses his lips to the bruise on my cheekbone where his lips softly linger. I hug him tight and after a brief internal debate, I put my lips to his stubbly cheek where I place a tender kiss of my own.
“It’s only goodbye for now,” I say. “We’ll see each other again real soon.”
“You bet your sweet ass we will,” Abe says and smiles. “Don’t underestimate my ability to track you down.�
��
I smile up at him. “I won’t.”
The car is waiting next to the curb, and once the driver sees me exit the building, he leaps out to open my door. As the driver fastens his seatbelt, he asks, “Where to, Miss?”
“O’Hare International, please.”