Ian tilted his head back and narrowed his eyes. “There’s an idea.”
Her lips tightened at his slurred words.
Brett poured water into the reservoir and pushed the on button. “Coffee’s on,” Brett said into the lull. Are we having fun yet?
Ian’s gaze settled on him, his expression suspicious. “So you’re the SEAL.”
Ooooo-kay. Brett nodded. He was put off by this whiny, arrogant SOB. The only thing keeping him in the room was Tess.
Ian rose to his feet and sauntered over to him, a slight sway to his gait. “Did one of your team try to kill you?”
“I don’t know.” He’d been certain Derrick was responsible. Had that green blur behind the AK-47 been him? It had to have been.
“Have you recovered any memories since the attack?” Ian stepped closer, invading his space.
Brett focused on his face. Could that one flash even count? “No.”
“Why’s your CO jerking you around?”
Brett’s attention shifted to Tess. He hadn’t told her that. “I expect to get orders in the next week or so.”
Ian’s eyes narrowed and he studied him, his tawny gaze intent. “But you’re not rejoining your team?”
“No. Not yet.”
“Have they given you a reason?”
“They’re waiting until the investigation into the boy’s disappearance is finished.”
“Did you kill him?”
When someone even suggested it, it was like he’d been punched in the balls. “No. I don’t know what happened to him.”
“Come eat something, Dad,” Tess said, her voice soft.
Brett frowned at her use of Dad instead of Ian. What had it been like to dance to this self-centered asshole’s tune when she was a child? It was bad enough watching her do it as an adult.
***
Tess studied Brett as he chewed. His silence had become conspicuous. In fact, she’d never known him to be anything but cocky and confident. This subdued Brett was unfamiliar, a new side to the man she’d begun to know.
She’d wanted to find a hole and crawl into it when Ian had opened the door. What had Brett thought?
Ian raised his coffee cup and took a sip. “Tess said your mother is here visiting.”
“Yeah. She’s staying with my sister right now.”
“Does she know about all this?”
Brett’s features tightened. “No. And I’m not telling her unless I have to.”
Ian nodded. “No need to worry her until something negative happens.”
With a little food in his stomach, he was showing improvement. And at least he’d given up his drink and switched to coffee. He’d smelled like scotch at nine o’clock this morning. And now—how long had he been drinking like this?
An awkward silence permeated the room broken only by the sound of chewing.
When Ian set aside his plate, Tess said, “I’ll clean up in here. Why don’t you two go out on the balcony and talk?”
“I’d prefer to stay in the room, Tess. Less chance of someone overhearing our conversation,” Brett said. He rose from his seat, stacked his plate with hers and Ian’s, and dumped them in the trash. He reached for one of the cartons and closed it. She rushed to help him. And though she tried to catch his attention, he didn’t look at her.
Ian rose, retrieved something from his bag, and unfolded it. He stretched the map of Iraq out on the table.
Brett studied the map, his expression dispassionate.
“I know you can’t tell me precisely where you were supposed to deliver the boy,” Ian said.
“No.” Brett remained silent for a long moment, a waiting stillness in the way he held himself. “There’s a small market in Al Rashid. We’d stop sometimes and buy oranges. You can see the dome of the Al Rasheed Hotel from there. Have you ever stayed there?”
“Yes. When Baghdad was first invaded.” Ian rubbed his hand on the side of his face.
“Really spectacular architecture. They’ve replaced the mosaic floor of George Bush in the lobby with one of Saddam Hussein.”
“I thought perhaps that might happen,” Ian said, his tone quiet.
“It may have changed again. A hotel group came in and started renovating it for some conference or other while we were still down range.” He drew a deep breath. “We’d drive through the surrounding neighborhoods fourteen, fifteen blocks west of the hotel. Most of the people were friendly, especially the kids.
Ian nodded, his features tight with concentration. “The boy’s name?”
Brett studied his face for a long moment, his jaw pulsing. “Sanjay al-Yussuf.”
“You don’t remember any of this?” Ian asked.
“No.” Brett swiveled toward Tess.
He had remained still for so long that his sudden movement startled her.
“I have to go. Thanks for dinner.”
He looked nothing like the Brett she’d begun to know. The shuttered, controlled look of his features was distant and frightening.
He strode to the door and was through it before she could respond. “I’ll be right back, Ian.”
She broke into a run as she saw him disappear into the corridor in front of the elevators. “Brett?”
He pushed the elevator button, impatience in every line of his body.
“Brett.”
“I should have fucking walked away.”
“Why didn’t you?”
His blue eyes settled on her face, burning with anger. “Because of you. Because you still believe in him.”
The elevator door opened and he got in. “He’s spiraling, Tess. Desperate for a scoop, and I gave it to him. I’ve placed my career and my freedom in the hands of an alcoholic, a-a-,” He swore beneath his breath. “Egomaniac. Fucking ridiculous.”
She clutched her hand against her midriff where fear and doubt twisted. Hearing him put into words what she’d been thinking intensified the feeling.
“It will be all right,” she said. “He needs this as badly as you do.”
Brett studied her features. “I hope you’re right. Because I’ll be looking at the inside of a prison cell if you’re wrong.”
The words hit her like a punch.
The elevator door closed between them.
CHAPTER 21
Brett parked the rental car, a Buick, at Osprey point and exited the car. Inactivity was driving him crazy. As he approached the point, he looked out at the horizon. A grayish sheen colored the distant sky and the clouds touched with blue-gray had an angry look. A storm threatened out at sea, ensuring some good waves as long as it didn’t blow further inland.
The sound of the car door shutting behind him drew his attention and he turned.
“This is beautiful, Brett,” Clara said.
“Yeah, it is.”
She raised the camera to her eye and started taking pictures.
Though he watched Clara as she moved around the point, the words shouldn’t have done it beat against his brain. He couldn’t think about that right now. It was over with. The only good day was today. Only yesterday sucked.
He couldn’t escape the decision he’d made. He’d spilled info to Ian Kelly. He’d given him the boy’s name and his location. In code, but it still counted. NCIS hadn’t said he couldn’t talk about it, but in Special OPS they didn’t talk about anything. He’d broken the code. Hell, he’d already broken it with Tess. He’d let her in further than any other person, including his mother or sister. He’d let his dick control his brain, but never again. If he survived this thing with his career and his life intact, he’d never let anyone close enough to compromise him again.
But there had been no other choice. All the feelers he’d put out, both back in Iraq and here in the real world, had given him nothing. No one knew anything. Or if they did, they weren’t talking. That silence bothered him more than this crap with Ian Kelly.
They were his brothers-in-arms. And he felt like he’d been abandoned in enemy territory.
Did his teammate
s think he’d killed the kid?
Developing a reputation with the teams was important. Living up to the reputation you’d established, even more. How long would it be before the other teams started wondering, doubting? Had they already begun to?
SEALs were pack animals. They did their best work as a team. His pack was a hundred miles away in the desert training. They’d be dirty, sweaty, and carrying forty-pound packs on their backs. God, he’d give his left nut to be there with them.
“Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?” Clara asked. “You can’t just keep saying it’s this delay in orders.”
“I can’t talk about it, Mom. It’s about some things that happened down range.”
“Secret or just bad?” she asked.
“Both.”
“I know you took an oath to maintain secrecy. I won’t ever ask you to compromise that. But if you need to talk, your secrets will always be safe with me.”
Brett looked away as guilt and other emotions crashed together to form a knot in his throat that threatened to choke him. Why had he decided to trust strangers when he had her and Zoe? “I know you’ve always got my six, Mom,” he said when he could speak.
“Always.”
He had to focus on the here and now for a while instead of the what ifs or should haves. He pointed to a large rock formation in the cove, its top coated with bird droppings from the many seafowl that landed there. “That big rock is affectionately called Bird Shit Rock around here. It’s Bird Rock on some maps or Reeds Rock.”
“I can see why they named it that.” She moved around the parking lot behind the wood and wire barriers to take several shots from different angles.
‘We can walk out onto the point and all the way around so you can get some more pictures,” he suggested.
The path just outside the barrier, used by tourists and locals, was well worn and far enough away from the edge to be safe. They picked their way out to the point where waves surged against the rocks. Sea spray splattered their clothes and hair. Clara laughed and used the tail of her shirt to wipe off her camera lens and took a picture of Brett as the water splashed him.
They worked their way around the cove, careful not to step on the wildflowers blooming here and there.
When they paused on the south side of the cove, Clara exclaimed, “Look at the strata on the cliffs!” She raised the camera to her eye.
Brett studied the rock formations she was fixated on. The cliff bowed out where the water had eaten away at it, leaving behind bands of color and a cluster of rocks at the bottom. “I looked at your other photos, Mom. They were amazing. The one of Greenback dancing with his baby girl cheek to cheek, I’m sure he’d like a copy of it. I know you took pictures of us kids. But I don’t think it ever occurred to me that you had such a talent for it.”
She grinned, her features glowing with an excitement he’d rarely seen. “I’m really enjoying experimenting. I felt a little guilty about buying the camera equipment, but I’m about a third of the way to earning the money back so I think it was a good investment.”
“Why would you feel guilty for buying something you wanted?”
“I earmarked money for bills the whole time you kids were young. And even while you and Zoe were in college, though you both worked, I slipped a certain amount of money into your bank accounts because I knew you’d never ask though you needed it. I guess once you learn that behavior, it’s hard to throw caution to the wind and just spend money if you simply want something rather than needing it.”
“We’re all grown now, Mom. You don’t have to take responsibility for anyone but yourself at this point.”
“It doesn’t’ work that way, honey. Just because you’re all grown doesn’t mean I don’t feel responsible for you. It’s a mom thing.” The whole time she talked, she was pausing to take pictures.
“And dads are supposed to feel the same way?”
“Your father always did.”
Had Ian ever felt responsible for Tess? Ever? He rubbed his forehead where a dull tension headache had begun. Was Tess’s relationship with her father why she distanced herself from him?
“I’m sure you’ll feel the same way when you have your own children, Brett. And it’s not like I deprive myself of things. I’m just conservative. But not so conservative that I didn’t invest in a telephoto lens that weighs as much as a small lap dog. I’m going to use it today to take some pictures of you surfing.”
“What does any of this have to do with Captain Connelly?” Brett asked.
She lowered her camera to study his expression. “He doesn’t have anything to do with my taking pictures. He has been encouraging me, though.”
“You’ve shown him your stuff?”
“Yes, he’s the one who suggested I upload them and sell them.”
Brett remained silent for a moment. “You’re being careful with this guy, aren’t you Mom?”
She drew a deep breath and her eyes focused on the distant horizon. “You’re making it more complicated than it is. Russell enjoys my company, and I enjoy his. Why does it worry you that I’m dating someone?”
“Because you’ve never done it before. Not really.”
“I wasn’t ready before. It’s taken me twenty years to even look at another man since your father.”
Brett’s heart jogged double time. “Well, why this guy?”
“Because he looks at me like I’m still an attractive woman, not a fifty-five year old retired school teacher.”
Oh, shit.
They spent twenty minutes working their way back around the cove. As they approached the car, Brett paused in surprise when Tess straightened from where she leaned against the front quarter panel. Her dark red hair shone with copper highlights as she faced them.
His gaze raked the length of her, covered from neck to ankle in a full wetsuit. The white strips decorating the front followed the curves of her body, accentuating her lithe, slender shape. Though every inch of skin was covered but her face and hands, she might as well have been naked. Desire twisted and tumbled through him and he grew hard. As usual.
His turned to face his mother. “Did you tell her where we’d be?”
Clara frowned. “She called while you were dressing. I thought you’d be pleased to have her join us.”
He’d needed more time with his mom to talk to her out of this thing with Connelly. But time with Tess was—It had been hard as hell keeping his distance and not calling her. Who the fuck was he kidding? He wanted to be with her.
But the rules had to change. He couldn’t keep hanging himself out there and getting nothing in return.
***
Brett’s frown put Tess’s heart into free-fall. It was a mistake to have come here. He didn’t want to see her. It had been five days since the meeting at the hotel and she hadn’t heard a word from him. An ache settled just under her breastbone. She clenched her hands at her sides. She had been so certain he’d wanted more from her. Wasn’t that what he’d said?
“Hey,” he said as he reached her.
“Your mom told me you were going surfing. I brought my gear,” she said.
He grinned. “I can see that. You didn’t tell me you surfed.”
Was that an accusation? If it was, she probably deserved it. “I’m a better listener than a talker.”
He studied her for a moment. “I noticed.”
“It’s a hazard of the job.” She bit her lip and looked over his shoulder to Clara. “Hello, Mrs. Weaver.”
“Please call me Clara.”
The knot of anxiety loosened a little more at Clara’s encouraging smile.
“Where are you parked?” Clara asked. “It might be easier to find parking for one car instead of two. If you don’t mind leaving yours here, we can transfer your gear to my rental.”
“I’m up the street. And I think that’s a good idea.”
“I thought we’d go further up the coast. It’s a little tricky reaching the surf here,” Brett said.
“I know. I’ve been here before.”
With towels cushioning the boards, they used soft straps to secure Tess’s board atop the car with Brett’s.
Brett opened the passenger door, but Clara opened the back door and took a seat there, leaving the front seat free for Tess.
“We’ll come back down to the point around sunset, Mom. It’s amazing here. People come here just to take pictures of it,” Brett said once they were in the car.
“Sounds good.”
He put the car in gear and drove down the coast to the long stairs that led down to the beach.
Brett parked the car in a roadside lot and Brett popped the trunk.
“I’m going to be busy taking photos of the area,” Clara said. “I thought I’d photograph you two surfing and work my way back toward the point. We can meet back here in, say … a couple of hours?”
“Then we’ll dump our gear, change, and find a place to eat. What do you think, Tess?”
“That sounds good. I have a sundress and sandals in my bag.”
“I’m going to wander over and take some pictures of the stairs that lead down to the beach,” Clara said.
An almost painful silence stretched between them. Tess sought something to say to break it. “I wasn’t certain about coming, but your mother seemed to think it was okay.”
“I’m glad you came,” Brett said, his tone abrupt. He propped his arms on the top of the car and leaned in
“After the way things—the other night—I hadn’t heard from you—” She wasn’t entirely able to suppress the hurt in her tone.
Brett remained silent for a beat then two. “I had some things I needed to work out without being distracted.” He drew a deep breath and focused on her. “I’m not completely comfortable with the way things were—are, Tess.”
She swallowed. “I understand.”
His gaze sharpened, the line of his jaw going taut. “I don’t think you do.”
“I understand you went way out on a limb with info that could come back to bite you if anyone finds out.” She bit her lip. “I know you’ve lost confidence in Ian because of how he behaved. But if he’s as desperate for a scoop as I think he is, he’ll find the truth and report it.”
Breaking Through (Book 2 of the SEAL TEAM Heartbreakers) Page 21