by Hughes, Maya
“Sure, I can do it.”
“You’re a lifesaver, Liv!”
She hung up before I got to say another word, probably hoping I wouldn’t back out.
“What are those?” He leaned against the doorway and pointed to the boxes under my bed.
Hanging down over the side, I looked at where he pointed. “Pictures. I’ve been hoarding them since forever. These”—I tapped the two in the back—“are the ones of my parents before they had us. My mom wrote whole stories on the backs. They’re my favorites, but I’m afraid to take them out too often. Before Mom and Dad started med school, they were totally different people. There were hikes, dinners out on the town, celebrations with friends we never met. When Colm sold our parents’ house, I had to go rescue them.”
“Why didn’t he want them?”
I shrugged. Colm and I’d dealt with losing our parents in different ways. Sometimes it was like he wanted to erase them from his memory, like when he’d sold the house, and other times he clung to their legacy like it was the only thing keeping his head above water.
“Have you backed them up?”
“It’s a lot of pictures to scan.” There was never enough time. I’d calculated it would take me nearly three days to get them all done, and putting the boxes in someone else’s care freaked me out. What if they lost them?
“Someone can do that for you.” He leaned against the doorjamb.
“And it costs an arm and a leg. Trust me, I’ve checked. Colm does not have fun and frivolity budgeted into what he sends me every semester.” I paused briefly. “That was the chem lab calling. One of their lab assistants bailed and they need me to fill in.” He didn’t need to know about my dancing. I tucked my hair behind my ear. There’d be more questions, maybe something like, Can I watch?
“No problem, I can go.”
“There’s no point in you going home just to come back to this side of town for practice. Hang out here for a while and lock the door behind you when you go. I’ll tell Marisa not to be alarmed if an overly large man is lounging in our living room.”
“Thanks for keeping me safe.” He winked.
“And I’ll even let you have some of the chocolate chunk brownies hiding in the back of the fridge. I don’t part with those easily, so you should feel honored.”
He bowed. “I absolutely do.” Peering up at me, he smirked. “Now where are those brownies?” He rubbed his hands together.
“I’ll be out in a couple minutes, so don’t go rummaging through the fridge like a bear. Also, I’m taking my tiles with me. We’ll finish this butt kicking next time.”
He scoffed and disappeared from the doorway. I ran my hands through my hair and stared after him. This was a tightrope we were walking, but the longer I was with him, the more I convinced myself it wasn’t one-sided. It wasn’t all in my head. The sidelong glances, the lingering touches that sent tingles up my spine—it was real, but what could we do about it? It wasn’t the time. Rushing around the room, I gathered up everything I’d need.
I threw my bag over my shoulder and ran into the living room. Slinging the fridge door open, I pushed the V8 and celery aside and pulled out the small bag of edamame.
Ford’s eyebrows furrowed; then he smiled when I pulled two wrapped brownies out of the bag.
“Perfect disguise.”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures.” I plunked the chocolate square into his hand. “I’ll talk to you later. Have a good practice.” I leaned in. He smelled like honeycomb, which he’d used on his leather bag back in high school. Did he still use it? It had been so long since I’d been close enough to know. Like I was outside myself, the scene in front of me unfolded: rushing off to work and giving my boyfriend a kiss to remember me by until I came back home to him.
Ford’s eyes got wide, and it dawned on me how close my lips were to his.
“Sorry.” I bolted across the room. “See you later.” My fingers fumbling with the knob, I opened the door and nearly closed it on myself before I made a break for it down the steps.
Wasn’t being away from him supposed to be the hardest part? This was worse. This was so much worse, being this close but not acting on every little urge to touch him floating through my head. Not jumping into his lap and feeling his hands on my body, lying on the couch together watching TV, tasting his soft yet firm lips on mine as he pulled every bit of pleasure out of me…
With a new determination, I bounded down the last flight of steps. This new Ford had gotten inside my head. Late-night texts, playing board games, watching TV—we’d slipped into a comfortable routine when he was home, and it didn’t make sense to me. I didn’t know how far we could push things, but I didn’t want to lose him again.
12
Ford
Liv: Sure, dinner would be nice. See you in a couple hours. I’m not at my apartment. I’ll send over the location where we can meet.
Me: Ok
The team’s killer schedule over the past two weeks hadn’t left time for anything other than airports, hotels, the team bus, practices, and games. Road stretches like these left everyone drained, bleary-eyed, and ready for a little time off. Four days off, then a home game meant no planes for a week, and that was as settled as things got during the pro hockey season.
Liv had crept up in the forefront of my mind more over the past few weeks. Long stretches away from home sucked a bit more, and texts were all I’d had to sustain me. Her energized chatter late at night and the weary words she squeezed in while studying weren’t enough.
The Kings had gotten back together at a dinner with Colm while we were out in LA for a game. It was cut short when he’d excused himself from the table and hadn’t come back. I’d pushed back from the table and gone to look for him.
He’d been standing out on the pier overlooking the water.
“You okay?” I’d stood beside him, leaning onto the railing.
“Why wouldn’t I be? You guys are on fire this season, skating better than ever, and I’m not there with you.” His face had looked like he’d been sucking on a bag of Sour Patch Kids.
“My game’s been off without you there on the front lines.” It hadn’t been, but the easy rhythm we’d once had was long gone. “You’ll be back. The month’s almost up.”
He’d turned his face away. “My rehab isn’t finished.”
“The coaches said a month.”
“Looks like the damage is deeper than they thought. It’s going to be a few more weeks.”
“Shit, I’m sorry.” I’d dropped my hand onto his shoulder.
He’d turned, shaking my hand free. I’d clenched my hands at my sides. “What are you sorry about? It’s not like you did anything. You’re never to blame.” He’d glared at me, and the churning fire in my gut had burned brighter.
“You’re throwing this at me too? Haven’t I paid my penance already for something you admit I’m not to blame for?”
“You might not have been to blame, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still be pissed about it, can’t be angry about your lies.” The bitter words were a sore spot between us. He’d blown out a big breath, shaking his head, and dragged his hands through his hair. “How’s Liv?”
A lump had formed in my throat like a jawbreaker shoved down deep, making it hard to swallow. “She’s sorting through some stuff.”
His head had snapped up.
“But she’s working through it. There’s nothing to worry about.”
He’d nodded, staring out at the water. The cool, salty air washed over us, no sounds but the gentle roll of the waves and the caws of the seagulls circling, looking for food. Once, the silence between us had felt comfortable, but now it felt stifling.
“What are you two doing out there? Get back in here.” Declan’s hands had cupped his mouth as he’d shouted out to us.
“I need to go.” Colm had waved him off and disappeared into the night, leaving without another word.
“What the hell crawled up his ass?” Declan had held the door open for
me.
I’d shrugged and gone back inside. We got back on the road the next day, and he hadn’t answered any of my messages since.
At first the travel had been one of my favorite parts of playing because it meant no expectations from anyone you met when they knew you’d only be in town for a night or two. I had my family, the Kings had been an extension of that since high school, and that had been all I needed. Even knowing they were out in the world and had my back was enough, but now the travel meant more time away from family and friends. There were only so many hotel parking lots, stadium locker rooms, and airport lounges I could stare at before they all ran together.
A message came in from Liv with her current location. It was a dance studio, according to the map. I looked the place up and saw a picture of her on the home page. Clicking on the schedule, I spotted her name. She teaches dance classes?
The screen went blank, and the call screen popped up.
I cursed under my breath. “Hey, Grant.”
“I got a text back from Liv.”
“Not even a hello.” The rough texture of my jeans scraped against my palms as I rubbed them down my legs.
He ignored me and kept talking. “She said she wanted to talk to me.”
“I mentioned you wanted to talk to her.” I clenched my jaw.
He let out a deep breath. “Perfect. Midterms are almost over. I’ll see if she wants to get dinner.”
“Good luck. I’ve got to go.” I jammed my finger against the screen and shoved my hands into my pockets as I shouldered my way into the parking garage. I grabbed my key and headed toward her location.
She had said a couple hours, so why was I going immediately? Since when has she taught dance to anyone other than little kids? Does Colm know? What kind of dance?
The entire drive over, it was the same loop that had been playing in my head since that dinner at Heath’s. Her lips on mine, so soft and smooth… The switch inside of me that only flipped on when the lights went out was on a hair trigger around her. My blood pounded in my veins and my fingers itched to touch her, and that was why I should have turned around and told Liv I’d see her the next day.
Instead, I parked and jogged up the steps of the dance school, pushing through the glass doors. Dragging my hat off my head, I checked out the lobby. Pictures hung on the walls. Pictures of Liv with a huge smile on her face surrounded by other people. I hadn’t seen her smile like that in a long time.
A woman at the reception desk popped her head up. “Can I help you?”
“I’m looking for Olivia Frost.”
“Class starts in ten minutes.”
“No, I’m not here—”
“Second floor, second door on the right.”
I wasn’t sure what about me screamed dancer, but I went along with it, nodding then climbing the stairs two at a time. People milled around in the hallway as music filtered out of the door and filled the hallway with a muted ballad. Peering in the small window, I spotted her.
In front of the mirrored wall, she had on tights and a sheer skirt that floated around her like magic as she danced. She ran from one side of the room to the other, coming up to her full height and lifting her other leg up and over her head almost in a midair split. Time stood still as she moved in time to the beat.
Her partner followed her through the moves. She jumped into the air and straight into the guy’s arms with her legs wrapped around his waist. His hands crisscrossed her back.
My jaw clenched at the way he looked at her. It wasn’t a look of professional appreciation. Their bodies pressed together, and they swayed to the music, each movement more frantic but fluid as the music built. The final explosion of sound ended with her wrapped around the guy, his hands cradling her ass. I slammed my lips together, tension creeping up my neck as their bodies moved together, touching, entwined, completely focused on the other.
They stopped, and Liv’s face broke out in a cloud-clearing smile. She jumped up and down, high-fiving the guy who’d had his hands all over her.
More people walked up the stairs behind me and went through the second door. I turned back to the cutout window in the door, and Liv’s face popped up, her downturned lips cooling some of the tension running through my body.
She tugged the door open with a duffel bag over her shoulder. “I said an hour, right?”
I nodded.
She pulled out her phone and checked the message. “You’re here early.”
“Your name was on the class schedule on the website.”
She chewed on her thumb. “My class is an hour. You might want to go get a coffee or something until I’m finished.” The sweat clung to her skin like a warm glow. She rushed away toward the changing rooms.
“Can I stay and watch?”
She turned around, walking backward. “It’s not interesting. You’ll be bored.” Adjusting the strap of her bag, she nibbled on her bottom lip.
I could never be bored watching you. “I won’t.”
She hesitated like she was going to tell me I couldn’t watch, and her fingers tightened their grip. “I need to go change. I’ll be right back. The second door.” She pointed toward the room everyone else was filing into and rushed off.
People poured into the space, dropped their bags, and stretched. This was not my scene at all. A few heads turned, eyeing me up. No, I didn’t belong there. Yes, I was trying to figure out why I’d come, too.
Liv burst into the room with an energy radiating off her I hadn’t seen before. She’d traded the more traditional dance leotard for pants that hugged her ass like a second skin and a bright green top that rode up a little when she put her arms in the air, exposing a band of her taut stomach.
“Thanks for coming tonight! We’re going to have an awesome class. I’ve got some new choreography that’s killer. I hope you’re ready to sweat.” Her lips curved into a mischievous smile.
Everyone in the room’s attention was riveted to her while she clicked the music on with her phone and the beat poured out of the speakers.
She ran everyone through the routine. The warmup was probably the only thing my body could have handled. The entire class’s attention followed her every move as she broke down the dance she’d shown them into smaller pieces.
I’d seen her dance when she was younger, kid ballet recitals that had dragged on forever, but this was different. The way her body moved, she was so in tune with every muscle, every line creating a picture that stole my breath away.
I grabbed a chair and sat, not wanting to miss a second of her dancing. She broke the class into groups and bounced around the room to each one, helping them work through the spots where they couldn’t quite get it.
I’d never seen her like this before, so in control, running the room like it was second nature. These people were so eager to learn from her. Her smile and happiness racing from group to group, reworking the same moves over and over again were absolute.
She jogged over to me once everyone got the help they needed. “You sure you don’t want to jump in?”
“That would be a terrifying experience for everyone here.” Dancing had to be avoided at all costs.
“I’m sure you’ve got some moves.” Her gaze ran up and down my body, and the playfulness of her look didn’t stop my muscles from snapping to attention.
“And those moves are best left out on the ice. How long have you been doing this?”
“Dancing?”
“Teaching.”
She nibbled on her thumb. “Almost a year. I started last summer, and I took on more classes in the fall. I was here so much, and it can get expensive. It felt weird using the money Colm gave me to pay for dance classes, so I asked if they might have an instructor spot open.”
“Just like that.”
“Just like that.” She snapped her fingers. “Someone bailed last minute, and I got in. It was meant to be. Free classes and workshops whenever someone big comes into town, plus I get to come up with new ideas all the time and see these guys
bring it to life.” She turned around with her arms folded over her chest, looking every bit the proud parent. “I love it.” She grinned back at me like I’d just promised her a trip to Disneyworld. There wasn’t a tenth of that joy when she talked about medical school.
“I can tell. Does Colm know how important this is to you?”
She shoved that water bottle up to her lips so quickly she looked like a hamster in its cage, chugging away.
“That’s a no.” Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she dropped the bottle to her side. “It’s complicated. Med school has always been the plan.” She ran her hand over her face. “That’s always been the goal. It was what they’d have wanted, what I want for them. It’s an important part of the legacy they saw for me and Colm.” Sadness flickered in her eyes.
“They’d be proud no matter what you did.”
“Would they? Would they have even cared if it didn’t have to do with medicine?” Her gaze filled with the honest question of whether or not they’d have been on the sidelines cheering her on no matter what path she chose, and given what I remembered of them, it was a fair question. How many of Colm’s games had they missed? How many times were Liv and Grant holed up at my house being lugged to our games because her parents were stuck at the hospital?
The volume in the room increased as people finished up their practice.
“You sure you don’t want to jump in?” She nodded back toward the class behind her.
“Not if my life depended on it.” I sat back in my seat, and Liv returned to the front. They all moved as one as she turned the music on again. The driving rhythm pounded louder and faster, arms and legs moving in unison. Hair flew through the air, and everyone followed in Liv’s footsteps, taking her moves and making them their own.
The smaller groups performed the choreography for the rest of the class. Liv took out her phone and recorded them all. Whoops and cheers rang out as they hit their marks, throwing their own improvisational moves into the routine.
There was one last burst of kinetic energy as everyone did the routine together. Panting and resting her hands on her knees, Liv called it. “Until next time, everyone!” she declared over the laughter and applause. Her class slowly left the room, their giddy excitement over what they’d just done together radiating off them.