by Lisa Cardiff
Jax either started pulling her toward him or she started leaning toward him, she wasn’t sure which. The way his thumb delicately stroked her wrist scattered her alcohol-soaked wits, and it took her a few seconds to remember to breathe. Bre stared at his mouth; completely fascinated by the sensual curve of his lips and she just barely resisted the urge to wet her own lips in anticipation.
With his mouth only inches from hers, he whispered, “You can’t look at me like that, Bre. I’m trying to be good. I know you’re Cam’s girl and the band’s important to me, but there’s only so much I can resist, and when you look at me like that I want to ignore all the reasons why kissing you is a really bad idea.”
Unable to speak, she closed her eyes, trying to regain her senses, but it was hard when she could feel his heated gaze and his warm bourbon breath tickling her face. She knew the rational thing to do was push him away, but she didn’t want to. His lips brushed hers, moving slowly, causing a tingling sensation that she suspected wasn’t a figment of her imagination. “Hmmm…” she murmured, draping her arms carelessly over his shoulders, breathing in the smell of him, wanting to be closer to him, wanting more of him, wanting to forget everything but him.
As he wrapped his arms around her waist, his tongue caressed hers once, then twice, and then his fingers began tracing the skin on her thigh just below her hemline at an indecently slow pace. Just as he started lowering her to the floor, inching his body between her legs, she heard laughter outside the still open door. Bre’s eyes popped open.
“Jax always hides out in his room when he gets in his moods.” Bre froze, recognizing Katie’s shrill voice.
“Maybe he knows where Bre is. I haven’t seen her for over three hours.”
“Probably not, you know how Jax is with his personal space.”
Bre’s eyes blinked in confusion. Then, suddenly she scrambled backwards and onto her feet, nearly tripping over the almost empty bottle of bourbon.
“It’s Cam,” she mouthed to Jax, bracing her hands on the footboard of his bed, completely shaken, but oddly disappointed by the loss of contact with him.
Jax nodded, pushing himself from the floor. He walked over to his guitar and started absently playing with the strings.
Cam and Katie walked through the door. Bre’s gaze drifted to Cam’s arm dangling from Katie’s shoulder. Cam stopped abruptly when he saw Bre. Then his eyes landed on Jax.
“Hey, what are you guys doing in here?” Cam questioned his eyes narrowing on the cards spread out on the floor.
“Not much, just leaving to join the party.” Jax’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.
Cam dropped his arm from Katie’s shoulder and walked toward Bre. “Hey, babe.” He kissed her quick and hard on her lips. Then he pulled back from her, his eyes searching hers. Bre had to force herself to remain still and not wipe her lips clean. Her lips felt dirty. She wanted the tingling sensation back. “What happened to you? I looked all over the house for you. Until I saw your bag in foyer, I started wondering if you went home.”
“Um…” Bre murmured, discomforted by the situation. “Well, I’m right here,” she finished weakly.
“Hey, Katie. Let’s give these two some privacy.” Jax laughed and then grabbed Katie’s hand, threading his fingers through hers and pulling her toward the door. Stopping at the entrance, he looked over his shoulder. “Your bedroom for the night is two doors down, so don’t get any ideas about making use of mine.”
Cam leaned into her, kissing her neck and running his hands up her sides. She couldn’t find the will or desire to respond. Instead, her eyes lingered on Jax’s back as he walked out of the room, hand in hand with Katie, laughing as if nothing happened between them a few minutes ago. Every second of shared laughter poured through her veins like a bucket of ice water. She couldn’t believe she had nearly thrown away her relationship with Cam for a passing moment that obviously meant nothing to Jax. With that thought, the giddiness from the shots of bourbon faded into something that vaguely resembled queasiness.
“How did you end up in Jax’s room?” Cam asked.
For a lingering moment, she didn’t answer. It was almost as if she couldn’t process Cam’s question. Guilt surged through her, and she placed her hands on his chest to get some space between their bodies. Her breath quickened when she came to terms with the fact that she had made an unforgivable mistake. “I was looking for the bathroom, and I ended up here by mistake.”
“What were you two doing?”
“Drinking, talking, nothing too exciting.” The minute she said it, she wished she could take it back. She didn’t want him to ask any questions.
“Really? Just the two of you? That doesn’t sound like something you would do.” Cam brushed her hair away from her face and she feared her cheeks were burning with guilt.
“I barged in on him, and he offered me a drink to be nice. I was only in here for a few minutes.”
“So you do want to check out our room?” Cam said, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
She smacked Cam lightly on the arm. “No, I’m not hooking up in the middle of some party like two desperate teenagers.”
“Mmm,” Cam said, nuzzling her neck again. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with acting like two desperate teenagers. In fact, I think it’s an excellent idea.”
She grabbed his face with both of her hands so he was looking at her, and then she brushed the blond hair that she loved so much since she was a kid from his forehead. Forcing a smile, she said, “Let’s hang out until people start to leave and then we’ll have all night together.”
Cam played with the tie at the top of her strapless dress, silently studying her face. “All right,” he finally said. “Are you sure you feel okay? Ever since that fight, it feels as if there’s a wall between us—”
“Cam,” she interrupted. “Let’s not revisit it tonight.”
“I know it probably isn’t the right time, but I’ve been walking on eggshells, afraid to say anything for days, and I want us to be happy again, like we used to be. You remember how it was always just the two of us against the world, as if nothing else mattered? I miss that.”
She stepped away from him and headed for the door. She couldn’t stay in the room for one more minute. Everything about it felt heavy and suffocating. When the warm breeze from the outside air surrounded her, she turned around. “Cam, things will get better. We’ve been apart for a long time. We need to find our rhythm again. Let’s not spend the weekend analyzing it. Let’s have a good time, and I think the rest will work itself out.”
“I know it will.” Cam wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her toward him. “You’re my forever girl, Bre. Don’t ever forget it.”
Five minutes ago she didn’t think anything could make her feel guiltier than she already did, but she was wrong.
Chapter Seven
Sitting by the pool listening to Katie chatter on and on about her plans for his Labor Day party next year, Jax briefly considered retreating to his room again, but the possibility of Cam and Bre still occupying the space made him dismiss the idea.
Ignoring her, his mind drifted to the almost disastrous kiss, and he contemplated when he had become such an idiot. He couldn’t say exactly why he kissed her, but when she looked at him with those soft melting eyes, he couldn’t think about anything else, and if he were truthful, he hadn’t thought about much else since he met her. If Cam and Katie had given him five more minutes alone with Bre, he would have had her spread out beneath him on the floor. Now that would have definitely caused a scene.
“Jax, are you listening to me?” Katie’s persistent voice interrupted his thoughts.
“What?” he snapped before he could moderate his voice.
“I just said that we should invite both of our families next year. Don’t you think that would be nice?”
He knew he needed to do something about Katie. Allowing her to make any future plans involving them being together was a really bad idea. He promised himself that he w
ouldn’t fall back into a pattern of hooking up with Katie just because it was convenient, but here he was letting Katie worm her way into his life.
When Chasing Ruin started booking a lot of shows nine months ago and building a sizeable fan base, all the of guys, including himself, took advantage of the women flinging themselves at them. Just when he couldn’t stomach one more anonymous hookup, Katie showed up at one of his performances, and when she started talking about mutual acquaintances he hadn’t seen in years, being with her felt a little less empty than the alternative.
Growing up in the same circle of friends, Jax and Katie had dated briefly in high school, and their families were close friends, but nothing ever came out of it despite his dad’s not so subtle attempts to push them together. Sure, Katie was beautiful in the typical Southern California way, but nothing about her was real—not her body and certainly not her personality. For some unknown reason, he ignored all the glaring warning signs and kept Katie around for the last couple months. Now, in spite all his not so subtle attempts to convince her that he wasn’t interested; she refused to leave him alone.
His eyes flew to the side of the house as if he could sense Bre’s reappearance. Relief flooded through him now that he knew Bre and Cam hadn’t wandered off to their room, or worse, made use of his room, but then he saw Cam’s arm wrapped around Bre as he whispered in her ear, and the relief morphed into a slow, burning resentment. Part of him wanted to yell at her for pretending as though nothing happened in the room, and part of him wanted to punch Cam for having her. He couldn’t do either.
So, his eyes lazily surveyed the pool, and he defaulted to the destructive pattern that he’d abandoned months ago. Abruptly he stood up, and said, “Katie, we’re not together. We aren’t dating, and we sure as hell are never getting married, so stop making plans with me. If I’m interested in hooking up, I’ll call you. Until then, don’t bother me.”
Leaving Katie sputtering unflattering names in his wake, he strolled over to a blonde in a barely there bikini and wrapped his arm around her waist. As she gushed about how much she loved the party and his band, Jax felt Bre’s eyes burning a hole in his head. Some sick part of him enjoyed that he had her full attention, and he used it to his advantage. He ran his fingers up the leg of the woman whose name he would be hard pressed to recall, and played with the strings on her bikini. She leaned into him, pressing her chest against him, and he kissed her hard. He hated that she tasted like beer and cigarettes, but he had to get Bre out of his head. Dragging her onto his lap, he ran his hands down her sides.
When he pulled away from her, he looked around for Bre, disgusted that his first thought was of her, but she and Cam had disappeared. Katie, on the other hand, was crying and ranting to her friends by the bar. Kissing the blonde certainly didn’t make him feel any better, but at least it bought him a momentary reprieve from Katie. He knew from experience that his bad behavior would only further entrench her efforts to win him over. Unfortunately, kissing the nameless woman didn’t offer him a reprieve from his relentless thoughts of Bre.
He heard the blonde suggest that they go somewhere to get to know each other better. Fleetingly, the thought crossed his mind that it would be too much work to pretend that he was interested in her, but then so was drinking enough to forget about Bre, and he definitely needed to forget about Bre. He could lose everything he’d worked so hard to achieve if he couldn’t keep his hands off of her. Sighing, he pulled the woman by her arm and guided her into his father’s office, mildly amused by the idea of desecrating his father’s sacred workspace with a meaningless encounter.
Bre’s eyes followed Jax as he left the pool area with some woman. Sick was the only way she could describe the way she felt at the moment. Sick from drinking too much, sick that she let Jax kiss her even though it didn’t last much longer than a couple minutes, sick that Jax abandoned her without a thought the minute Katie showed up, and sick that Jax had now moved on to another woman.
“I thought Jax was dating Katie?” Bre said to Cam, the words falling off her tongue with a little more disgust than she intended.
Cam laughed. “Jax is never dating anyone. Katie thinks they have some sort of relationship. She tells people they’re going to get married once the band gets signed, but Jax doesn’t do relationships. Katie’s a nice girl, but she’s delusional if she believes she can force Jax to settle down anytime soon, especially now that the band is so close to being signed.”
“What does being signed have to do with anything?” Bre commented, her eyes trained on the door where Jax had disappeared with that woman.
“Everything. Once we hit it big, women will be hanging all over the band, even more than they already do. You can’t fault a man for succumbing to the craziness of that scene.”
“Interesting. Is this your not so subtle way of telling me that you’re going to dump me when the band gets signed so you can take advantage of readily available women?”
Cam pulled her tight to him and swung her around in a circle. “Never. You know there’s only one girl for me.”
Chapter Eight
Early the next morning, Bre rolled over, pushing Cam’s limp arm off her waist. Staring down at him, she could smell the alcohol seeping out of his pores, and she wondered what time he finally made it to bed last night. As the night progressed, Cam had morphed into a drunken mess. It was like college all over again, and she knew once Cam started he didn’t stop until he collapsed. At least he made it back to their bed rather than the floor or sofa.
After she had showered, she opened her door in search of some food. Almost immediately upon stepping out of her room, the smell of coffee assaulted her noise, and she smiled, giving thanks for small wonders.
When she found the kitchen, it was empty, but the Miele coffee machine was ready to deliver a coffee with the press of the button. When she located the coffee mugs on the top shelf of an upper cabinet out of her reach, she pressed her hands on the countertop and threw one of her legs on the cold white marble surface.
“Do you need some help with that?” Jax’s deep, sleep roughened voice startled her concentration, nearly causing her to lose her balance.
Coming up behind her, he put one hand around her waist, gently pulling her off the countertop and grabbing a mug with the other hand.
“Thanks,” she said, adjusting the hem of her t-shirt that left her stomach exposed in her attempt to reach the mugs.
Hoping Jax wasn’t going to say anything about the incident in his room, she busied herself with her coffee selection.
“So what are you doing up so early?” she asked as she watched the deep brown espresso fill her mug. If she ignored the whole incident and acted as though nothing happened, he would have no choice but to follow her lead.
Jax leaned his hip on the counter next to her, his arm resting against hers. “Well, I distinctly remember you wanted to learn to surf this morning, and since there’s absolutely no possibility that Reed will drag his butt out of bed this morning, I thought I could teach you.”
“No, that’s not going to work. Cam planned to leave early today,” she replied, watching the play of his muscles as they stretched the front of his shirt.
“Sorry,” he laughed softly. “Try again. Both of us know Cam won’t be up until later this afternoon. Besides, it’s too late to say no. I already have everything ready and waiting for us.”
“Why would you assume I’d go surfing with you today?”
“Because you’re dying to watch me in action, and I know how much you like looking at me.”
Nearly groaning that she had been caught staring at him again, Bre quickly looked away from him, but out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw Jax trying not to laugh at her reaction.
“I don’t have a wetsuit or anything.”
“Don’t worry, we have a bunch of extras. My mom likes to keep the place fully stocked for contingencies.”
Jax’s smile melted her resistance, and she really did want to learn to s
urf. Besides, Jax was right. Cam wouldn’t be up for at least three more hours. Bre finished the rest of her espresso. “Okay, let’s do it,” she said, slamming the mug down on the countertop.
“Really?”
“Really. Where are the wetsuits?”
“There are some in the closet of the cabana bath near the pool. I’ll meet you on the beach in front of the house in fifteen minutes.”
***
Ten minutes later Jax stood on the beach, berating himself for offering to teach Bre to surf. Last night he decided to leave her alone—no more dancing, no more sailing trips, no more drinking games, and absolutely no more kissing. Any more of that and he would forget why wanting her was a very bad idea. Unfortunately, when her saw her searching for a mug in that thin t-shirt that showed way too much of her stomach, he decided he wanted to see her in a wetsuit, and the offer left of his mouth before he realized what a bad idea it was. Sure, somewhere in his mind, he knew he wanted to ask her when he pulled a couple surfboards from the storage closet earlier that morning, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t an imbecile for actually verbalizing the offer.
As Jax inspected the fin box and the fin of two surfboards to make sure everything was in working order, he caught sight of Bre walking toward the beach in a wetsuit. He loved that she had chosen the black one with the really short shorts and long sleeves. Too busy yanking on the bottom of the shorts, she didn’t notice him ogling her as she walked down the deck stairs. As she bent over to remove her shoes, the shorts rode even higher, exposing even more of the shape of her long legs that he found so fascinating on his sailboat a couple days ago.
When she looked up and made eye contact with him, she bit her lower lip nervously, then her face cleared, she nodded, and jogged over to him. “Where do we start?”
With her hands on her hips, she looked down on him as he sat next to the surfboard. When he didn’t respond, she stopped fidgeting with her shorts. “What’s wrong?”