by Lisa Cardiff
“Jax was never opposed to marrying me. Why do you think he had me act as hostess for his Labor Day party?” Katie flipped her hair behind her shoulder. “Because he knew we would get married at some point. He loves me. We’re like you and Cam. We’ve been together since we were kids. We always knew we would get married.”
Bre’s throat constricted. Admittedly, Katie was always around, and even though Jax denied they were together, he never pushed her out of his life. “If you’re together, why the other women?”
Katie smiled faintly. “I didn’t want him to feel trapped, so I encouraged him explore his options, but I knew we’d end up together.”
“I don’t believe you. He wouldn’t do that…” Bre pressed her fingers to her temples, trying to regain her wits. If Jax asked Katie to marry him, he wouldn’t have been with her last night. He wouldn’t have told her he loved her.
Katie held out her hand. “He even gave me a ring the other night in front of his dad.” Katie looked toward Cam. “You saw me going into the building with Jax’s dad a couple nights ago, right?”
Cam grabbed Bre’s hand, pulling her toward him. “Don’t touch me,” she said, desperate to run out the door, but she was frozen, staring at the ring on Katie’s finger, taunting her with its shiny brilliance.
“Jax told you they stopped by, remember?” Cam said, softly.
Bre shook her head. “I still don’t believe it. Just because she has a ring doesn’t mean Jax gave it to her. I trust him. He doesn’t have any reason to lie to me.”
Katie pulled the ring off her finger and dropped it into Bre’s hand. “Here, read the inscription. It’s self-explanatory.”
Bre recoiled at her touch and then squeezed her fingers around the cold metal, letting it bite into her skin. She didn’t want to look. She knew Katie wouldn’t have given it to her if it didn’t confirm what she said, but like a car crash, she couldn’t stop herself. Swallowing hard, she opened her hand, held the ring between her thumb and index finger and lifted it to the light.
K&J Forever.
In shock, Bre dropped the ring on the floor, where she watched it roll to a stop next to her feet. Her vision blurred and her breath shattered. She couldn’t move. She watched Katie pick the ring up from the floor, and when she heard the door open, Bre turned to look at her.
“Bre,” Katie said, her eyes blinking condescendingly. “You’re a cute, simple girl from a small town—a new flavor for a privileged guy like Jax, but he would have forgotten you just like the rest of them within a couple months. In the end, he always comes back to me because that’s where he belongs. He knows it. I know it, and now you do, too.”
The door slammed and Bre flinched, willing the tears burning the back of her eyes to disappear. She didn’t want to cry here, not in front of Cam, not now. Cam pulled her into a hug, but she didn’t feel anything but numbness. Her hands hung limply at her sides as he squeezed her tightly. She couldn’t process anything right now because processing it would hurt too much.
Dimly, she realized Cam was running his hand down her spine trying to soothe her, but the days of him being her savior were long gone. Cam lied to her and cheated on her and Jax… she didn’t even know what Jax did. He’d never promised anything. In fact, he readily agreed to keep their relationship secret. I guess she understood why. They both had their reasons, and apparently his were bigger than hers. She choked on a sob and she felt the edges of her vision blur. Oh God, she was a meaningless fling, just something to check off a list before he married Katie.
Bre pushed Cam away and walked toward the door. “I need to be alone. I can’t talk right now.”
Cam pulled her back to him. “You’re not going anywhere. Let me take care of you until you feel better.”
“No,” she whispered, afraid to look at him, because she knew she’d fall apart if she saw the pity in his eyes.
Chapter Thirty
“Bre, I love you. We’ll get through this. We always do.” Cam wrapped one of his hands around the nape of her neck, gently rubbing her muscles as he nuzzled into her, kissing her behind her ear. He loved the way she smelled. “I hate that he hurt you. I could kill him,” Cam’s voice was gentle. Since the first time he saw Bre after she moved in next door, he had an overwhelming need to take care of her. When he saw her crying under a tree in her yard on her tenth birthday, her big, beautiful golden eyes red and swollen, he promised he’d never let anyone hurt her again. He’d fucking failed on so many levels. He felt sick about how cruelly he’d treated her this past year. It would haunt him for the rest of his life.
Bre pried her fingers between them, pushing against his chest, but Cam wouldn’t budge. He needed Bre to know he loved her and he’d be there for her forever.
“No, Cam,” Bre said, shaking her head. “Let go.”
Cam dropped his arms and stepped away from her. “Okay, but I’m here for you. This is my fault. I should have realized that Jax would do this. I shouldn’t have let him in. I encouraged the friendship and pushed you right into his arms.” Cam raked his fingers through his hair. He basically handed Bre to Jax on a platter. He was an idiot.
“No, Cam. What Jax did or didn’t do isn’t your fault. I made choices, and I believed in him.” Sitting down on the sofa, Bre’s head fell forward into her hands, as she released a strangled sob. “Part of me wants to hate him, but I can’t. I still want to believe in him.”
Feeling helpless, Cam shoved his hands in his pockets. “Bre, I still want to be with you. We belong together….”
“Oh God,” she groaned through her hands that still covered her face.
“I’ll wait until you’re ready,” Cam responded quickly, not wanting to pressure her. “I know we have a lot to work through. I hurt you. I get that. I can’t believe what I did to you, to us. I feel sick. I promised to be there for you when we were kids, I intend to live up to that promise.” And he did. He may have let her down, but he’d spend the rest of life making it up to her if she’d let him.
She dropped her hands and looked him in the eyes. “Cam, I love him. I don’t want to work through things with you. We can be friends, but regardless of what happens with Jax, we won’t get back together.”
Cam paced the length of the room, uncertain how to fix this. Exhaling loudly, he turned to face her. “Why?”
“Why, what?” Bre asked confused.
“Why him and not me?” he asked as he sat down next to her. It was awkward and his heart literally felt like it’d been torn to shreds since the minute he saw her luggage at Jax’s house. But seeing her like this…this was almost worse. He needed to understand, he needed to understand her feelings for Jax. He looked at her, searching for an answer, when it hit him like a punch in the gut, she wasn’t his anymore, he could see it in her eyes.
“I don’t know. I can’t explain. I do love you, but not like I love him. With him, it’s so much more.” The air rushed out of his lungs in loud swish. “I didn’t understand the difference until recently. I feel strong when I’m with him. He makes me feel happy, whole, cherished. You’re my friend, and we’ve known each other for a long time. It’s comfortable being with you, but both of us deserve more than that. We shouldn’t settle. Well, maybe if we’re forty, and we still can’t find anyone who will deal with us, and I’ve started a cat collection.” Bre laughed lightly. He loved when she laughed.
“You don’t need to decide right now. Take some time,” he said, making one last effort to hold onto her. He twirled her hair around his finger, fearing it might be the last time he could touch her like this.
Bre swallowed hard. “I don’t want time to think. I don’t need it. Even if Jax and Katie are engaged, I can’t crawl back to you. It’s time I found myself.” Bre grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes. “Let it go, please,” she implored, rubbing her hand over his thumb.
Cam stared down at their intertwined hands and he wanted to close his eyes and rewind the clock. Some time in the last year, he’d forgotten how much he wanted her in his li
fe and he’d taken her for granted. He’d always assumed Bre would be waiting for him when he finished exploring the world, but now he realized how unfair and selfish his actions were. His behavior would haunt him for a long time. She deserved better, especially because he had witnessed how Bre’s mother treated her growing up. If he truly loved her, he would set her free. He’d do anything for this girl and if that meant handing her over to Jax, it’d kill him, but he’d do it.
After a few minutes, he sighed. “Is this really what you want?”
“Yes,” Bre said, tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. “I can’t hold onto you because I’m afraid to be alone. That’s not fair to either of us.”
Cam leaned his forehead against hers, wiping away a tear that trailed down her delicate cheek. “Okay. If letting go will make you happy, I’ll do it, because I’d do anything to make you happy.” He smiled at her even though he felt like a little part of himself was dying inside. If she loved Jax and Jax loved her, he wouldn’t stand in her way. He owed her that and more. “I’d even kick Jax’s ass for hurting you if you want.”
Bre’s mouth trembled with laughter. “Thank you,” she responded with a soft voice.
Cam pressed a kiss against her forehead. “Anytime, babe.” He stood up, needing to move from the couch before he started begging her to love him. “So what are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know. My flight leaves around 10:30 AM tomorrow, and other than my wallet, my stuff is still at Jax’s place.” Bre leaned against the sofa back and tilted her head up. “I guess I have to call him at some point.”
“If you don’t go back soon, he’ll probably call you or show up here.”
“I don’t think so,” Bre said apprehensively.
She didn’t have a clue. He didn’t know what deal Jax made with Katie, but based on his actions this morning Jax wouldn’t let Bre go without a fight. “You should call him. Ask him to explain,” Cam said.
“I don’t know if I’m ready to talk to him yet. I have to think.” Bre stood up. “Can I use your bathroom? I want to clean up my face. I’m sure I look like a complete mess.”
“You look beautiful, raccoon eyes and all, but you can use the bathroom. You don’t have to ask.” Cam smiled faintly, taking in her beautiful face and her amber eyes that never failed to steal his breath.
“Thanks, Cam, for everything. I know this is hard for you.” Bre put her hand on his shoulder and gave him a sad smile.
“Do you want to get something to eat?” he asked, changing the topic. He didn’t want her pity.
Bre’s stomach growled. “Jax wanted to have dinner together when I got back to his house.” She shook her head. “I don’t think I can go back there now, not yet, anyway.”
“Let me take you to dinner, my treat.”
Bre looked torn.
“It’ll buy you some time to figure out your next move.”
She rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands, then sighed. “All right.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Bre promised she’d be back by 6:30 PM, and it was almost eight. He shoved the dinner he’d prepared, now completely burnt, into the sink. The smell of overcooked chicken saturated the air.
He picked up his phone from the kitchen counter, looking to see if he’d missed a text or voicemail from her. Nothing—just a bunch of calls and texts from Katie that he had no intention of returning anytime soon, if ever.
Bre had been gone for two hours, and it felt like an eternity. He couldn’t even imagine how he’d feel when she left for Aspen tomorrow. If he had his way, one of them would fly to the other every weekend. He had no intention of letting months or weeks pass before he saw her again. He found the woman who he wanted to spend his life with and not seeing her for months or weeks wasn’t an option.
His phone rang in his hand, and he looked down at the screen. Cam. He hesitated, then answered the call. He didn’t want another confrontation with Cam, but he was worried about Bre.
“Hello,” Jax said, leaning against the kitchen counter with his ankles crossed.
“Jax,” Cam replied. The noise in the background made it tough to hear his voice.
“Why are you calling?”
“I’m at a restaurant with Bre.” Cam didn’t say anything for a moment. “Do you love her?”
“Cam, what’s this about? Is Bre okay?”
“Just answer the question. Do you love her?”
“Yes,” Jax responded. “More than I could have ever imagined.”
Cam exhaled loudly. “Katie said you two are engaged.”
“What?” Jax yelled into the phone, pushing his body away from the counter.
“Is it true?”
“Fuck, no. I would never marry her.”
Cam didn’t say anything.
“What’s going on?” Jax asked, his voice alarmed.
“Even if your dad offered to back the band? Get us signed? Would you marry her then?” Cam shot back.
Jax stiffened. When his dad and Katie had stopped by to discuss taking his relationship with Katie to the next level and how he could help the band, Jax hadn’t even considered it for one moment. He loved Chasing Ruin and wanted the band to succeed, but that didn’t mean he’d ever agree to shackle himself to Katie. He knew hooking up with Katie was a mistake. It gave his dad and Katie hope that he would cave, but it would never happen. He’d rather play at every dive bar in California for the next ten years than agree to that. “Never.” He responded through clenched teeth.
“Are you sure about that, because that’s not what Katie told Bre.”
His stomach flipped. “Wait—Bre knows?”
“Yes. Katie told me about it, and I thought Bre should know.”
“Why would you believe Katie? You know she’s always twisting the truth.”
“Because she showed me the engagement ring, and I don’t exactly have a very high opinion of you right now.”
“What ring? I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about?”
“Katie had big shiny ring engraved with K&J Forever. Does that ring any bells?
Jax picked his keys up off the counter and started walking toward the door. “Where’s Bre? Does she believe this crap?”
“I’m not telling you anything until you explain the ring.”
“I didn’t get her a fucking ring. I can’t explain it. Maybe she bought it for herself. I don’t know,” Jax said through gritted teeth.
“Really?” Cam scoffed. “That’s all you have to say? Call me back when you have a better answer. She leaves tomorrow morning. Maybe you can get your shit together before then.”
“No. Wait,” Jax pleaded. “What did the ring look like?”
“I don’t know. Silver colored, big circle diamond with diamonds all over the band, too.”
“Shit,” Jax said, scrubbing his face with his hand.
“So you do know the ring.”
He couldn’t believe his dad actually gave Katie the ring. He would have had to coordinate it with his mom and they hardly talked. What a joke. After years of living with two parents incapable of communication, they finally get it together to give a girl he didn’t love an engagement ring on his behalf. “I know it, but I didn’t give it to her. It’s my mom’s ring.”
“That happens to be inscribed with K&J. No, try again.”
“K&J. As in Katrina and James—not Katie and Jax.”
Cam didn’t respond for a minute. “That’s fucked up.”
“Jesus. I can’t believe this. When he kept pushing me to marry Katie and work with his company, I just blew him off. I didn’t give a shit about him or what he wanted, but now that he’s actually fucking with my life—giving an engagement ring to a girl I would never marry—I actually hate him.” Jax ground his teeth together. “And Katie—she’s crazy. When my dad made the offer in front of Katie, I told her I’d never marry her. I thought she finally got it. Fuck! I should have never touched her.”
“Yeah. I get it. Regrets are a bitch.�
�� Cam exhaled harshly. “I can’t believe I’m doing this, but we’re at that sushi place a couple blocks from my house. We haven’t ordered yet so we’ll probably be here for another hour or two. I’ve got to go.”
“Wait. Cam. Thanks for helping me—”
“I’m not helping you. I’m doing this for Bre. She thinks she loves you—that you can make her happy, so I’m letting her go for now.” Cam groaned. “I want, no, I need her to be happy, but if you fuck this up, if you hurt her, or if you’re just using her, I will be right there with open arms waiting to pick up the pieces.”
“Understood,” he said. “I’ll be there in an hour. I have some things to take care of first. Don’t let her leave—and Cam…”
“Yeah?” Cam said.
“Are we good now?”
“I think so.”
“And the band?”
“I think we’ll work it out as long as you take care of my girl.”
“She’s my girl now,” Jax said almost possessively. He hated that Cam still felt like he could claim any part of Bre. She was his forever girl from the moment he first laid his eyes on her and he’d spend the rest of his life making sure she believed it.
“Not yet,” Cam said before hanging up the phone.
***
Jax pulled through the gates of his childhood home fifteen minutes later. He hadn’t stepped foot in the house for over five years, not since the day after he had graduated from college, to be exact. On that day, his dad announced that Jax would start working for the studio in two weeks and the celebration dinner his mom had planned spiraled downhill from there.
While his dad dictated the terms of Jax’s future, which including working for the family business and eventually marrying Katie so the business would be united in the future, his mother sat silently, neither contradicting her husband nor supporting him. Jax refused, and his dad had kicked him out and threatened to do everything in his power to make Jax tow the line.
As Jax walked out with his suitcase in hand, he asked his mother why she didn’t stand up for him. She had told him that some things were inevitable, no matter how much we fought them, and he would learn that as he got older. On the surface his mom appeared strong, but she always caved when her father pushed her. He vowed never to be like his mom and live his life under his dad’s thumb.