“Okay, okay, let’s try something else,” she called over the hysterics. “I have twenty-foot ropes here for each of you. Each couple. Each couple should come get a rope and then line up with the rope stretched between you.”
Todd and I went up to get a rope at the exact same time as Amanda and Gabe. I thought, perfect, because Amanda would probably talk to Todd, and maybe Gabe would talk to me. So I started inventing blindingly witty things to say to him about the lame-ass trust games. But then Amanda fastened herself to Todd, and Gabe glared at me like it was my fault that Todd was drooling on Gabe’s fake wife.
I decided to suck it up and ask, “Something wrong?”
Gabe looked away from me and answered, “I dunno. Something wrong with you?”
I was standing there like a moron, trying to figure out what the hell he’d meant by that remark, when I realized that Todd and Gabe had grabbed either end of the same rope. Now they were locked in this death stare to see who got the damn thing.
“I have this one,” Todd said.
“I don’t think so,” Gabe said.
“Let go of it, Webber,” Todd said.
“I had it first.”
“Like hell you did.”
Meanwhile, Johnny Mercer came up and tried to say hi to me, but I wasn’t paying any attention because I wanted to see if Todd and Gabe were going to throw down. Finally, Amanda stepped in, picked up a whole different rope, and thrust it at Gabe’s chest for him to carry. Gabe tossed his end and walked away with Amanda trailing behind him. Johnny mumbled something I couldn’t understand. Todd gave me the end of the rope Gabe had dropped and dragged me back to the middle of the gym. He positioned himself right next to Amanda. Which meant . . . ? Yup, I was standing next to Gabe. Sophia Sheridan lined up on the other side of him with Mar and Johnny next to her. Then Sophia said, “I’m totally excited to do this!”
And Gabe—get this—said, “A totally excited woman is my favorite kind.”
What?
I thought a “totally together” woman (i.e., me) was his favorite kind! But oh no. I had been a complete and utter dope. Gabe didn’t have a favorite kind. Gabe had a favorite line . . . to feed girls. What an idiot I was. I turned my back to him and gave an aggravated yank on my rope. Todd laughed and yanked the rope harder. I yanked it back. Then he yanked again. Then I did. We tried to pull each other off balance.
Well, Gabe must’ve been intent on pissing off Todd, because he pulled on their rope so hard that it popped out of Amanda’s hand and nearly clipped her in the face. She leered at Gabe and sauntered forward, plucked the end of the rope from the ground, and tugged it as hard as she could. Gabe lost his balance and nearly fell, and Sophia Sheridan cracked up. Then she started pulling on her own rope. Pretty soon, other couples were doing the same thing, and before we knew it, we were in a tug-of-war marathon.
It was at this choice moment that Principal Miller popped in to check on things. Maggie Klein hadn’t seemed to notice, because she was shouting rather unprofessionally, “Stop it. Just hold the rope! Pick up a rope, line up, and stand still. How hard is that? Hold the ends. Stop it!”
“How is everything going?” Principal Miller called above the chaos.
Maggie Klein wheeled around. “Oh! Great! I mean, fine!”
“Was the student whom I just passed in the hallway a casualty?”
“Yes. Well, it was accidental. I’m sure Iggy will be okay.”
“Izzy,” Principal Miller corrected her.
“Is he what? Is he okay? I’m sure he is,” Maggie Klein stammered.
“No. The young man’s name is Izzy. Not Iggy.”
Maggie Klein shook herself. “Of course. Of course. I meant that. I knew that.” Her eyes narrowed the slightest bit and her face lit up. She said, “Would you care to join us?” so loudly that Principal Miller had no choice but to accept.
The principal almost got out of it when none of the guys offered to partner with her, but then Mr. Evans dropped his mop and strode over. He took one of the twenty-foot ropes and offered one end to Principal Miller with a slight bow. She let out a mini giggle, took it, and curtsied back.
“The object of this game,” Maggie Klein yelled way too cheerfully, “is to create a knot and then work together as partners and as a group to untie it. So without letting go of your rope, everyone start moving around the space; step over the other ropes or go under them. Whichever. Just do not let go.”
Again, Maggie Klein hadn’t anticipated what seventy-some pairs of seniors could do. Amanda twirled herself around Todd, which unfortunately drew Gabe even closer to them. I did my best to knot myself into Mar’s vicinity so that she’d talk to me, but she kept twisting away. Instead, Johnny got pulled right in my face.
Within thirty seconds, we had made a knot, sure. But Gabe and Todd were in an almost fistfight (only almost, because they were tied up), Amanda was standing there looking bored, Callie Brooks was crying, I was trying to squeeze by Johnny to get to Mar, and Mr. Evans was tied inextricably to Principal Miller with his face smashed into her boobs.
“Ms. Klein?” Principal Miller—still knotted—shouted over the sobs, screams, shouts, and shrieks of laughter, “I believe I have reached the end of my rope.”
Everyone laughed at that one, and only then did I realize that Principal Miller would be there for my prank on Todd. Not good. I tried desperately to get out of the damn knot so I could run and turn off my iPod, but I was stuck. And it was too late.
A deafening honk came from the direction of the PA speaker. It was my speaker set blaring my downloaded attempt to mimic the PA bell. I briefly hoped no one heard it and that they’d keep talking and screaming. But it was so loud, everyone shut up. I froze. My electronically garbled voice boomed from the speakers. “Attention, Todd Harding. The doctor’s office called to say that your herpes test has come back positive. Please report to the nurse’s office immediately. Again, Todd Harding report to the nurse’s office. You have herpes. Thank you.”
A bunch of people started laughing, but not for long, because Principal Miller blew a gasket. “Who did that?” she yelled. I swiveled as best I could to see Todd. I knew he was going to throw me under the bus. If not him, then Amanda for sure. But not only did Todd say nothing, I saw him nudge and shush Amanda when she opened her mouth to turn me in. And she obeyed. How random. They must’ve figured Todd would get dragged into the whole pranking mess, so they kept quiet.
“No one leaves until I find out who was responsible for this disturbance.” Principal Miller started wriggling out of her pseudo-bondage position with the janitor. Everyone dropped their ropes and started untying themselves. Todd and Amanda stepped out of the tangled rope like it wasn’t even there. I shimmied out of the mess, looking back and forth between my speaker set and where Gabe was holding on to Mar’s arms to keep her balanced while Johnny undid a huge knot around her knee. After a few minutes, we all were finally loose. Principal Miller stalked over to my stuff and found the speaker set.
“Whose things are these?” she demanded.
It was pretty obvious that she could identify me by my backpack, so I raised my hand. “Mine,” I said.
“Fiona Sheehan. Is this your electronic equipment?”
I started to answer, but Johnny Mercer yelled, “No! That’s mine.”
Principal Miller glared at him. “Jonathan Mercer?” She checked the label in the hoodie. “Am I to believe that this woman’s sweatshirt belongs to you?”
I tried to claim it, but Johnny stepped between me and Principal Miller and said, “It’s my equipment, but someone else’s stuff. Don’t know whose. I just used it to cover my speakers.” He loped up to Principal Miller with his hands in his pockets. “I was just pranking Todd. Trying to be funny.”
“You think it’s funny to spread salacious lies about someone’s personal life and health?”
Johnny stopped dead still. “No ma’am. I guess not.”
“No, it isn’t. I will confiscate this electronic equipment u
ntil such time as I think your behavior warrants its return.”
“Um . . . okay,” Johnny said. “Sorry.”
“The person to whom you should apologize is Todd Harding. Go on.”
Johnny took his hands out of his pockets and hammered his fists on his thighs. He turned and shuffled up to Todd. “Sorry, Todd,” he said.
Todd nodded. “No problem, Mercer.” They shook hands. It was all so convincing, I wasn’t sure whether Todd knew it had really been me or not. But as soon as he let go of Johnny’s hand, he glanced at me and winked. He knew. Judging from the scowl on Amanda’s face, so did she.
Principal Miller declared the trust games over, instructed Maggie Klein to clean up the gym, and ordered us back to class. I grabbed my stuff. I wanted to get Johnny alone to thank him, but Principal Miller was still reaming him out, so I left it for later. As I turned to leave, Amanda was suddenly in my face. “Why do you always have to be such a bitch?” she asked.
I leaned into her. “I dunno. When it comes to bitches, you’re the expert, so you tell me.”
Amanda drew herself up and tossed her fake yellow hair. “Just leave Todd the hell alone, Princess Pisspants.”
“Tell him to leave me alone,” I cried. “He started all this. Which is amazing, considering how deep your claws are in him. I’m surprised he can take a dump without your say-so.” I shouldered past her and left the gym. Out in the hallway, Mar was waiting for me. Thank God. Finally. “Mar,” I said, “I feel terrible about Johnny.”
“Good,” she barked. “You should feel terrible. Now do you see how other people have to pay for your selfishness, Fiona? Are you finally getting it?” Before I could answer, she spun around and stormed off.
I was pretty sure the questions were rhetorical anyway.
CHAPTER 16
AFTER SCHOOL, I LOOKED ALL OVER FOR JOHNNY Mercer so I could apologize. I finally found him outside the administration offices talking to his friend Noah.
“Johnny!” I called as I jogged to catch up to them. Noah waved, said, “See ya,” and headed off. “Look,” I said, “I’m really sorry about this morning. You didn’t have to take the blame like that.”
Johnny shrugged his wide shoulders and rocked back and forth on his heels. “I never get in trouble,” he said, “so I figured I might as well say it was me, because she’d probably let me slide.”
“Did she?” I asked.
He waved me off. “Everything’s fine. No problem.” He seemed to develop a sudden fascination with the blue and white linoleum floor.
“Oh, phew.”
He reached out to one of the lockers next to us and spun the lock. “And I’ll get your equipment back for you, too. Don’t worry.”
“Wow, okay. Great. Thanks.” I gave him a friendly punch in the arm.
“If there’s anything else you need, let me know,” he said. He looked right in my eyes. “Anything,” he said.
That loaded “anything” hung in the air long enough for several possible anythings to zip through my mind. Get a coffee. See a movie. Cry. Make out. “I gotta go,” I blurted. I started walking backward. “I’m really late for practice. There might be a water emergency by now. But thanks again.”
He took a step toward me. “Give ’em some spit for me.”
I fake-laughed and waved. “Sure thing. Sorry again. See ya.”
He waved back. “See ya, Fiona.”
I spun around, and half ran for the gym.
I stopped at the locker room to fill the water cooler, and then dragged it out to the basketball court. But instead of the usual pep-o-rific cheer routines, there was total silence in the gym. The squad had bunched together and were watching something on the floor mats. Even old Mrs. O’Toole had gotten out of her usual napping chair to take charge. I got closer and saw one of the cheerleaders, Judith Norton, flat on her back, with a pair of EMTs crouched over her. They put one of those big plastic collars around her neck and a plastic splint on her leg. Then they slowly rolled her onto a backboard. They lifted the board onto a gurney and rolled her out.
“What happened?” I asked Simone Dawson.
“Jamar tossed her but missed the catch. They say she broke her ankle. But she has to get her spine checked too.”
“Oh my God,” I said. “Is anyone else hurt?”
“No. Jamar’s pretty upset, though.”
“I bet.” After a few beats, I said, “So I guess practice is canceled then?” I wasn’t being selfish. It just popped into my head. I swear.
“No way,” Simone said, straightening up. “Next Friday is homecoming. We’ve got the pep rally at the bonfire before. We’re supposed to showcase Catch the Fever. You’ve seen it. You know, the one with the mount at the end? That big pyramid stunt? Well, there was a pyramid. Not anymore, I guess. We’ll have to figure something out.”
“Bummer,” I said. “But I’m sure you guys will fix it.” I tipped the cooler onto its edge, rolled it over to the bleachers, hoisted it up onto the bench, and sat next to it. There was no need for cups. The cheerleaders just refilled their water bottles.
Once the ambulance left, Mrs. O’Toole muttered something about the damn dangerous modern mounts these days and hobbled off to call Judith’s parents and Principal Miller. Everyone else started darting around the basketball court, squawking and gobbling about what to do about the homecoming pep rally. They needed all twelve bodies to pull off the stunt at the end of Catch the Fever. It had taken them all season to get it right.
Takisha King said, “What about pulling someone up from JV?”
“We can’t,” Amanda said. “Junior varsity’s got an away game that night.”
Todd stepped toward the middle of the group and waved them in for a huddle. They all flocked around him. I could see Todd talking, but couldn’t hear him. Whatever he said must have been pretty funny, though, because everyone suddenly burst into hysterics. Ponytails and boobs bouncing all over the place; bawks and even a few whinnies echoing through the gym. Then Todd said something else that had the same effect as a bucket of liquid nitrogen thrown at them. The girls got as still as ice and gave Todd these bewildered looks. Then, one by one, they turned and looked at me.
Holy crap. What were they up to?
Amanda became visibly upset. Well, horrified and revolted would be more accurate. She stomped her feet and shook her head back and forth. Todd whispered something else in her perky pink ear and she calmed down slightly. She threw her hands up like she was surrendering to alien invaders and stalked off to the locker room.
Todd came toward me with the squad trailing behind him like a street gang of angry thugs with breasts. He stood in front of me and put his hands on his hips. As if on cue, and in perfect synchrony, the other cheerleaders put their hands on their hips too. Bunch of animatronic robot turkeys. I would have laughed, but something about the scene suddenly turned the air in my lungs to glue.
“Welcome to the squad, Fiona,” Takisha said.
“Huh?” I squeaked. My mind raced forward, and the awful truth of what she meant filtered out of all the possible interpretations. “No.”
“Yes,” Todd said. “You’re Judith’s replacement.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You are.”
This was a joke. Some kind of setup. Surely, this had to be an elaborate prank Todd was pulling. One that involved Judith Norton breaking her ankle. He’d have gone that far just to get at me, right? Right?
Wrong.
“You’ve been watching all season,” Takisha said. “You know the cheers.”
It was true. I did. In fact, I often had trouble falling asleep at night because monstrous things like We! We’ve got it! The fire inside is Eagle pride! Yes, we! We’ve got it! You other punks should step aside! kept repeating and repeating in my head until I prayed for death. But knowing the cheers and actually performing them were two different balls of wax. Well, one was a ball of wax. The other one was a live hand grenade that had just landed at my feet.
I jump
ed up and started waving my hands, mostly to hide the fact that they were trembling. “Forget it.”
Todd said, “Come on, Princess, you won’t have to do any climbing. You can be a spotter or even a base and Takisha will take Judith’s place. All we really need is a warm body. But yours will have to do.” Some of the robot turkeys giggled.
“Ha-HA,” I yelled at him with the most sarcasm two syllables could carry. Todd took a step closer to me. The robot turkeys followed in unison again and I swear to God, I thought they were about to start clapping and chanting, One of us. One of us. Eagles never make a fuss, and then surround me and tear into my flesh with their perfectly straight, chemically bleached fangs.
Todd turned on the charm usually reserved for Maggie Klein and warbled, “Please, Fiona.”
I scanned the makeup-spackled faces whose beady eyes looked everywhere except at me. I figured I had one way out. “I’ll only do it,” I said, already mentally congratulating myself on my brilliant escape, “if Amanda asks me. Nicely.” There. I knew there was no way in hell that Amanda could muster the civility to ask me to help her. I was free.
“Come on—” Todd began to object. But I cut him off. “No, Todd. It’s a deal-breaker. She’s the co-captain and where is she? She couldn’t even stand to be here to ask me.” Then I decided to take it one step further, which, in retrospect, was probably too far. I leaned in and said, “How do I know that bitch isn’t going to try to break my ankle? Or my neck?”
A wave of rage washed over Todd’s face the likes of which I hadn’t seen since the hot dog incident. He yanked my arm and pulled me toward the swinging doorway leading to the rest of the school. I had visions of him booting me out like I was being tossed from a bar for being drunk and disorderly. But he didn’t. He just pulled me out into the hallway and stood me up against the wall.
What happened next, I can’t fully explain. Maybe I was overwhelmed by the robot turkey assault. Maybe I was scared that Todd was about to kill me.
All I know is, without any warning, I started to cry.
“What the hell?” Todd said, clearly caught off guard by my burst of waterworks. He pushed back from me. “What the hell?”
A Match Made in High School Page 11