by Jeannie Moon
He was so bad for her. She’d carefully constructed her life from the pieces of who she was before. It was an illusion. She was an illusion, and the only part of her that was real was Anna. Her perfect baby.
Their perfect baby.
Oh, this was too much. He was too much. He took all her well-laid plans, her orderly life, and made her think about the impossible. Should she tell him? Probably. Was she going to? Probably not.
Harper had been around Kevin’s sisters enough to know that the guy wasn’t interested in a commitment or a family. And he’d said it. Out loud.
What he hadn’t talked about out loud was her. His sisters had no idea they had gone on one date, let alone that they’d seen each other for a month. And forget that their relationship went from nothing to pretty serious in record time. Especially for her.
The reality was that Harper had had enough instability in her life that she didn’t want to subject her child to a father who would come and go. She was attracted to Kevin. She genuinely liked him. But she didn’t trust him.
Then again, Harper didn’t really trust anyone.
“You know,” she finally said, “coffee would be better.”
“Coffee?” Confusion flooded his face. Harper totally got it, too. She’d just thwarted his plan of attack. Kevin was thinking drinks, late dinner, sex. The plan was actually a pretty great one, but Harper couldn’t let it happen. Even if it meant giving up multiple orgasms.
“Why don’t I meet you at Corner Brew at five tomorrow?”
“Am I going to have to sit and wait two hours for you?”
“No, why—”
“Because you’re never home at five. Let’s just make it drinks at Harry’s at eight.”
Harper adjusted the basket on her arm. “Coffee. Five. I’ll be there. Take care.”
God, she was proud of herself. As she turned to walk away, her stomach settled. She’d done the right thing. She resisted him, sort of. They needed to keep it platonic, because Kevin Rossi represented a total loss of control. She had evidence of how he scrambled her brain cells back in her apartment. Her chubby little three-month-old was all the proof she needed that Kevin was best kept at arm’s length.
Because when he got close, Harper couldn’t handle it.
***
Coffee? Was she serious? Kevin wanted to spend time with Harper holding her hand in a dark, secluded corner of Harry’s and tell her how much he missed her. He didn’t want a noisy rush-hour coffee date where they glanced over topics ranging from the weather to the price of gas.
He wanted to touch her.
Badly.
Just brushing her hair back a few minutes ago he had the same reaction he’d had at the dinner party the other night. Contact with her set every nerve ending on fire. She was soft and beautiful as always, but different. Observing her retreating form, Kevin noticed the curve of her back and the roundness of her ass. Harper had put a little weight on her slender frame and it looked damn good on her. Damn good.
The fact was, he liked her. He liked how she looked, how she felt, and that she challenged him on every level. Challenged him in a way that no woman had before.
Kevin was still watching when Harper stopped at a bin filled with bananas and, after evaluating different pieces of fruit, picked two that were pretty ripe.
He continued staring like some stalker, they locked gazes when she glanced his way, and Harper’s eyes went wide when she saw he was still there and still paying attention. “Way to creep her out, dude,” he mumbled.
But she didn’t turn away. She didn’t seem creeped out. There was something that washed across her face that looked sad, lost. He was about to go to her when she turned and went toward the front of the store.
Every one of Kevin’s instincts told him to follow her. Something wasn’t right, but he knew he was playing with fire. This was not a woman he could charm or direct to do things his way. No, she was strong, fiery, and that’s what made him want her so much.
Harper didn’t need him. But he wanted her to.
Grabbing the loaves of bread he’d promised to bring his sister, Kevin headed to the checkout. He had no idea why Harper had this effect on him. He wasn’t self-destructive. He didn’t believe in taking unnecessary hits to the ego. He liked his ego just the way it was, but every time he encountered Harper Poole he felt like his nuts were in a vise. And what did he do this time? He whined about her possibly being late. Holy shit.
Harper was at the other side of the store, just about done with her shopping when an earsplitting squeal scared the crap out of him.
“HOLY CRAP! It’s you!”
Kevin turned, hating that he’d been recognized, and saw two teenage girls in prep school uniforms pointing at him. One of them was so overcome she was trembling.
Every person in the store had stopped what they were doing to stare at the scene. All he wanted to do was buy the bread and get to his sister’s apartment for dinner.
“You’re Kevin Rossi! Oh, my God. I, like, seriously love you. I swear. I watch baseball because of you.”
Great. He appreciated his fans, he did, even the ones who didn’t particularly like baseball, but this was going to be a tough one because Harper was standing about twenty feet away, watching him. Judging him.
One eyebrow shot up and her mouth twisted into a cynical grin. Kevin could practically hear her thinking, and he didn’t like it.
Turning back to the teens, he saw that one of the girls looked embarrassed now. Hopefully she would keep her friend from going completely off the edge. “Tasha,” the fan girl said, handing her friend her phone. “Take a picture, okay?”
She sidled up to him and Kevin leaned in, careful to be appropriate. The girl might have been sixteen, and he’d had more than a few sixteen-year-olds try to cop a feel, so he was aware of her hands at all times.
After a few quick shots, she pulled a permanent marker from her purse and handed it to him. “Would you sign my cheek?”
“Excuse me?” He couldn’t believe that, but sure enough she had her face tilted toward him, fully expecting he would scrawl his name on her face. “Absolutely not. I’m not signing your face.”
“My boob, then?” She moved to unbutton her shirt.
“No!” Kevin exclaimed. “No body parts. Let me sign your bag . . .”
He reached for her tote, only to have it yanked away.
“Are you crazy? This is a Louis! It cost a fortune. My mother would kill me.”
Kevin pinched the bridge of his nose, baffled at the priorities. “I think she’d be pretty mad if I signed your face or your—”
“Fine,” she huffed. “Sign this.” The girl handed him her iPad and he happily signed the case. Which was leather and looked expensive, but whatever. No body parts were involved.
Gushing for a little longer, the girls finally went on their way and a couple of men in the store stopped to shake his hand, all while his eyes were trained on the curvy brunette paying for her groceries. Harper finished checking out, smiled at the cashier and then looked back in his direction. This time at least she didn’t look disgusted. She might have even smiled a little. Small steps, he thought.
Nodding before she left the store, Kevin thought he might call her later and try to coax her into a drink rather than coffee, but then thought better of it. He had to leave it alone.
He probably should leave her alone, get coffee, swap stories, and let it go.
Unfortunately, Kevin knew he wouldn’t do that. He hadn’t been able to forget about her since that first time they made love a year ago.
He paid for his bread and then hailed a cab once he got onto the street. Once they were in traffic, he instructed the driver to take him to Tribeca, where he was having dinner with his sister Caroline and her husband, Josh. The time of day meant he’d have a lot of time to think, as the car had a long way to go. Josh, who was one of his best friends, had married his youngest sister a year ago, and it was at their wedding that he and Harper had gotten up close and
personal in the wine cellar. It was the most memorable sex he’d ever had and the most risky. He hadn’t used protection, and even though he was sure Harper had it covered, he never liked leaving things to chance.
The following month was intense between them, with stolen dinners at tiny restaurants in the city, and more than a couple of late-night booty calls at her place when she couldn’t meet up earlier. They’d been discreet because she seemed to want it that way, but if he’d had the chance he would have made love to her in the middle of Central Park if there wasn’t the risk of being arrested.
Maybe Caroline would let Josh go away for a golf trip and the two of them could head to some resort and knock the hell out of some golf balls for a few days. If he was lucky Kevin might find someone not crazy, get laid, and move on.
He thought about women he could text right at that moment who would meet him at his apartment for sex. Nothing else. It was something he didn’t understand completely, but never saw as a problem. He didn’t have to promise them anything but a good time in bed, but not one stirred even the slightest bit of interest. He wondered if maybe he was bored. If he needed someone new.
That was bullshit. He could have had Kari Martin in his bed the other night and he just wasn’t interested. She was cute as hell and laid the offer right out there, but now that Harper was back in his orbit, other women just didn’t do it for him.
***
Harper locked the apartment door behind her and reveled in the feel of being home. She’d never been like that, had never put much stock in feeling so settled in a place, but she guessed it had more to do with who was there than the actual location. Just knowing she’d be holding her sweet baby in a matter of seconds made her feel better.
Seeing Kevin at the store drove home that she’d gotten herself into quite a situation. She didn’t know how she was going to keep Anna a secret. It was bad enough that she worked for Kevin’s brother-in-law. That his sister was a close friend. Now he was not only back in New York, but he lived in the same area. God, this was a nightmare. Worse, it was one of her own making.
If only he wasn’t so damned gorgeous. And so nice. And if only her body wasn’t drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
If only.
But Kevin was all those things, and she was going to see him tomorrow.
What if she told him?
“By the way,” Harper whispered as she walked into the kitchen. “Remember the wine cellar? Yeah, well . . .” Emptying the grocery bags she came across the giant eggplant she had to buy and the box of rice cereal that it had hidden. “This is ridiculous,” she mumbled. “Baby food should not be covert.”
“What shouldn’t be covert?” Her nanny, Kim, strolled in the kitchen holding Anna on her hip. The baby squealed with joy at the sight of Harper, and any worry about Kevin dropped away when she took their daughter in her arms.
Kim was a nanny like no other. A former navy nurse who was the oldest of six children, she’d lost her marine fiancé to a roadside bomb attack, and she wasn’t ready to go back to a hospital setting. So she opted instead for the more protected life of an Upper West Side au pair. First and foremost, she made sure all Anna’s needs were met, but she also helped around the apartment and kept Harper from losing her mind. She’d become a friend over the past two months, and Harper didn’t know how she’d exist without her.
Staring into her daughter’s beautiful face, her blue eyes sparkling just like her father’s, there was no way she could stick with her original plan. She couldn’t live with herself.
The initial shock of running into him may have gone, but the truth of the matter was still there. She’d have to tell Kevin. Seeing him again, talking to him, Harper knew it was the right thing to do. But she couldn’t just drop it on him. Could she? No. She’d have to spend some time with him, feel him out and then break it to him gently.
Like that would make a difference. No, this wasn’t going to go down easy.
He had to know she didn’t expect anything from him. She knew he wasn’t looking for a relationship, and the last thing she wanted was a man who felt trapped. No, she’d tell him and they’d make an arrangement for him to see Anna if that’s what he wanted.
At this point she wasn’t even sure he’d want it. It was a baby. What would a professional baseball player want with a baby?
“What are you mumbling about?” Kim, who was five feet two with long black hair that she kept tied back in a tight ponytail and striking green eyes, looked at the contents of the grocery bag and held up the freakishly large eggplant. “Why do we have this?”
“Sorry. I ran into Anna’s dad at the store. He’s moved back to town.”
“Okay. What does that mean?” Her nanny was never one to mince words and Harper found her directness both refreshing and intimidating. She knew technically she was Kim’s employer, but it never felt that way. Kim was like a mirror and she forced Harper to look at things she didn’t always want to see.
“I think I have to tell him. I should have told him months ago.”
Silence. That was it. A long, protracted silence settled over the room.
“I was wondering how long that would take.” Kim chuckled as she put away the groceries.
“What do you mean?” Harper nibbled on her thumbnail.
“Harper, you are a lot of things, but you’re not a liar, and you’re not the kind of woman who would deny your baby her daddy.”
“He’s a good man. And I can’t keep living like this.”
“It’s not going to be an easy conversation, but the truth will set you free, as they say.”
Anna squirmed and Harper adjusted her position and the baby snuggled against her side. It was the most peaceful feeling and the thing that made Harper feel the guiltiest. Kevin deserved to know he had a daughter. Harper didn’t have any delusions about him—she’d definitely learned her lesson—but he would want to know.
And she’d tell him.
***
“I don’t know why you even think about Harper Poole,” his sister Caroline said as she walked into Josh’s home office. Kevin and Josh were sitting on the large leather sofa, each nursing a scotch after dinner, when Caroline heard him talking about Harper. “You aren’t going to ask her out, are you?”
If Caroline only knew.
His sister Meg may have made her peace with Harper, who was her husband’s former lover as well as an executive at his company, but Caroline still thought she was a bitch.
“I like Harper. We get along.” That was an understatement.
“She’s a sneak and a snob. She never misses a chance to mention her Ivy League education.”
“Caroline—you have an Ivy League education, too,” he reminded her.
“Yeah, but I didn’t go to Hah-vahd.” Caroline emphasized the words in a perfect upper-crust Boston accent.
“No, but you did go to I’m Hormonal High School, didn’t you?” Kevin really hated when his sisters were pregnant. They went from outspoken to batshit crazy. He didn’t know how their husbands kept up. He wondered how any man kept up. “Just lay off, okay? You don’t like it when Meg tells you what to do.”
“That’s different,” she said plopping on the couch next to her husband.
“How?” He really wanted her to explain this. She and Meg had been at war before Caroline and Josh got together. He’d never seen things get so ugly. There was no reasoning with either one of them. Things had calmed down considerably when Caroline and Josh were married, but Meg’s bossy streak and Caroline’s defiance still made appearances. Just for fun.
“It just is,” his sister said.
Right.
Kevin sipped his drink and let the twenty-one-year-old Glenlivet slide down his throat. There was a little burn before the warmth spread through his gut. “Great logic there, sis.”
“I just don’t understand the appeal of Harper,” Caroline said.
That was fair enough. Kevin was having a hard time understanding it himself. Especially after the way she
blew him off a year ago. He should cut his losses with her, but instead he sniffed around whenever he had the chance. He’d never seen anyone change so fast; she went from being totally into him at Caroline and Josh’s wedding to not acknowledging his existence in a month’s time. Maybe he needed therapy. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. There had to be something wrong with him.
“She’s so damn smart, Caroline. Sharp. But there’s something vulnerable, guarded, about her that I can’t quite put my finger on.” He took another sip of his drink. “I guess there’s no making sense of it. I’ve tried to figure it out, but I end up feeling like I need testosterone replacement therapy because I’m too in touch with my feelings.”
Josh laughed out loud. The asshole. “Shit, Kev, it’s a good thing Harper doesn’t know all this. You’d be toast.”
Kevin didn’t want to tell him he was already toast. He should cancel coffee. Just forget about her.
What he should do was make a fucking decision.
Right then, his phone buzzed, letting him know he had a text. He ignored it and swallowed the last bit of scotch in his glass.
He rolled the heavy crystal tumbler between his hands. “I guess I’m restless. I’ve been traded three times in the last four years. You guys are all settled. I don’t know . . .”
“You always said you never wanted a serious relationship while you were still playing,” his sister reminded him. “That it would be too hard on a woman, on a family.”
Kevin truly believed that. He’d seen marriages, good marriages, crumble under the demands of the life. He’d seen teammates Skyping with their kids, who were halfway across the country, missing first steps, first days of school—first everythings. He’d watched when one of his closest friends was served with divorce papers right before a game.
“It’s shit on family life,” he muttered. “But how long am I supposed to live like this? I’m thirty-five and looking at you and Josh, and Meg and Jason, I feel like I’m missing everything.”