“You want to marry me? You want my babies?”
My heart just skipped three beats and time has stopped “Yes, Kane, I want everything with you. I’ve always been yours, we just had to wait until the right time.”
“I’ll go in here and give Deb a chance, but it doesn’t change that Ruby is my go to parental person. It goes you, our kids, Ruby, then if Deb shows herself worthy, I’ll fit her in there somewhere.”
“You’re the best, Kane and that’s why I freaking love you.”
“I love you, too, but don’t ever try and pull this kind of crap on me again.” He pulls me to him and gives me a peck on my lips.
“I promise.” I touch my forehead to his then I take a step back and jiggle our hands. “Let’s do this. We own this.”
With that, Kane and I walk into Dr. Fowler’s office to change our lives forever.
Dr. Fowler’s office is a cluttered mess. I’m surprised she can find anything.
“Kane, Oakley, come in please. Sit anywhere that makes you comfortable,” Dr. Kris Fowler tells us with a wave of her hand. She walks to her Keurig coffee maker and pours in purified water from a gallon jug. “Would either of you like a cup of coffee or tea?”
“No, thank you,” I answer her.
“None for me, thanks,” Kane says.
“I’m so glad you decided to give counseling a try, Kane,” Dr. Fowler says, taking her beverage from under the pot.
“I thought this was a joint session?” He looks at me accusingly.
“It is a joint session today, but I would like to meet with each of you separately, if that’s okay.” She says, nodding her head.
Ah, she’s good.
Kane nods his head. “Let’s see what today holds first.”
“I know that I have abandonment issues, and I want to get better,” I tell her.
“Yes, she has anxiety attacks, too.” Kane says.
“Okay, let’s get to work,” Dr. Fowler says. “I’m going to record our sessions if that’s all right with both of you?”
For the next hour and a half, Kane and I both pour our hearts out about our childhoods. Kane, being the sweet loving guy he is, keeps getting tissues for me. Now at the end of our meeting, I feel raw.
Kane is silent on the way home, and I don’t know what to say to make things better.
Kane’s phone rings and he answers it through his Bluetooth. “Go for Kane.”
“Kane, it’s Megan. Kane, I really need your help,” she sniffs.
Oh, great! It’s the baby momma. Just what he needs tonight.
“What do you want, Megan? I’m busy.” He looks over to me and mouths sorry. “And I’m all out of money.”
“Kane…” Megan lets out a little sob.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Kane changes his tone.
“It’s Gunner, he, umm, he’s sick, Kane.” Megan’s crying now, uncontrollably.
“Shh, it’s okay, I’ll be there in just a little bit, okay? Where are you?” Kane asks softly.
“I’m at Jenie’s, and we need your help.”
“I’ll be there as soon as possible,” Kane tells her.
“Okay.” Megan hangs up.
“Oakley, I’m so sorry, baby. I’m sorry that you have to deal with her. Would you rather I take you home first? She sounds really upset and if he’s my son, I feel like I need to be there.”
“Don’t apologize, Kane. This proves to me the kind of man that you are. I want to go and be there for you.”
“Thank you, that means a lot to me,” he says, pulling in his lips.
He looks even more upset than he was before.
“Who’s Jenie?”
“Oh, that’s Megan’s aunt. She adopted Gunner. They’re good people. You’ll like her.”
Megan first thought that my brother Clay was the father of her baby. Right before mom and dad’s accident, she told Clay she was pregnant, but was getting an abortion. We ended up moving to Alabama and when we came back for a visit about eight months later, Clay ran into Megan. Needless to say, she was about ready to pop. Clay was furious and it almost ruined his relationship with Lizzie. My brother, being the guy he is, tried to get full custody of the baby when he found out, but the paternity test proved he wasn’t the father. So, then Megan pointed her finger at Kane.
Since Jenie had already been on a rollercoaster of being a mom, not being a mom, Kane decided he would just be Uncle Kane to Gunner.
Jenie lives in a middle class neighborhood with large oak trees lining the street. All the yards are landscaped beautifully, and Jenie’s isn’t any exception. There’s a little red wagon sitting on the front walk, making the place look like the picture perfect family atmosphere.
Megan opens up the door and runs downs the walk, throwing her arms around Kane’s neck before we’re barely out of the car.
“Thank you. Thank you so much for coming, Kane.” Megan looks over at me, “Oakley? Oh, sweetie!” Megan throws her arms around me, too. “Thank you both for coming. Come inside, please.”
Jenie has Gunner in her arms, rocking him back and forth in the rocking chair. She puts a finger to her lips, “He finally went to sleep.”
“What’s wrong with Gunner?” I ask.
Megan looks over at the baby with tears in her eyes, “They think he has Leukemia. His team of doctors wants to do genetic testing on both of us.” Megan wipes tears from her eyes.
“When did you find all of this out? Do you need more money, Jenie?” Kane asks.
“Kane, you’re more than generous as it is when you don’t have to give us one red cent. It’s not about the money. We need you to go get the testing done,” Jenie says.
“I’ll do anything you need. If he needs bone marrow, I’ll give him mine.” Kane walks over, placing his hand on Gunner’s head.
I’ve never seen a more beautiful sight in my life than Kane bent down, running his finger down Gunner’s nose.
“Where do I need to be and when?” Kane whispers.
31
Kane
Having children has never been on my radar. I didn’t think I had what it took to be a dad. Hell, I still don’t have what it takes to be a father, but knowing Gunner is my son makes me want to be there for him. Yeah, I’ve visited him on a weekly basis and I’ve gotten to be friends with his adoptive parents, but that doesn’t make me his father. I never even met my own father to my knowledge. Deb brought a rocker dude around some, but not often. I didn’t even see her that much, and she never said, “Kane, he’s your father.” So, who knows?
I have a chance to be something to someone now. I might not be a father to him, but I can be a freaking great uncle.
I had another session yesterday morning with Dr. Fowler—by myself this time while Oakley had class. Talking to her seems grounding, sort of. She makes me see things a little differently and consider other possibilities. I was upset at first that Oakley had tricked me into coming, but now a couple of weeks have passed, I feel much better and I’m glad I went through with it.
I stop in Walgreen’s across the street from the hospital to get a stuffed animal for Gunner. I’m meeting Jenie and Megan at St. Jude’s Medical Center in Memphis for his appointment. I had to get up at five a.m. this morning to make it here by nine.
Jenie gets up and meets me as I walk into the lobby at St.Jude’s. “Kane, thank you for the hotel room last night. It allowed Gunner to rest more without getting up so early.”
“It was no problem, Jenie. That’s the least I can do for you taking care of my…” What do I call Gunner? My son? Our son? “Gunner’s very special to me, I’d do anything for this little booger.” I hold out my hands. Gunner reaches for me and I pick him up.
“If only you felt the same way for his mother,” Megan speaks up.
“I’m very fond of Jenie,” I say because I really don’t have much patience for Megan. I narrow my eyes at her. “Jenie is the only mother Gunner will ever know. Not everyone is cut out to be a mom. You did Gunner a big
favor by giving him up.”
Megan crosses her arms and turns away from us.
Kelvin, Jenie’s husband, walks through the door, holding a diaper bag with tiny blue elephants. He’s a big dude, but even he can’t make that look manly.
“Hey, man, what’s up?” Kelvin gives me a fist bump.
“Ah you know, just driving a couple of hundred miles.” I grin at him because he’s a long distance truck driver and that distance is nothing for him.
“I can’t begin to tell you what this means to us, Kane. You stepping up and doing the genetic testing and then all the financial support.”
“Please, don’t mention it.” I feel like a creep as it is for not raising my own son. I don’t deserve any thanks.
“If you guys are done playing one big happy family, we need to go in for the appointment now.” Megan butts between us and walks toward the door.
Jenie has come back from checking in with the receptionist. “They want to see us in the geneticist’s office first. There’s something wrong with the test,” she says, biting the edge of her lip.
“Don’t go there, Sweetness, not until we get in there and talk to them.” Kelvin takes Jenie in his arms.
“Well, let’s not keep them waiting, let’s go see what they want,” I suggest. Gunner is still in my arms, and has finally taken the little stuffed elephant and is now is chewing on its ear.
Dr. Steven Isaacs’s office is on the second floor, and all the walls are painted bright vivid colors. Wooden toys sit on small tables with kid-sized chairs. I hope that Gunner grows up to be able to play at little tables like that. God, please just give him a fighting chance, I’ll do anything you want.
“Hello, everyone, have a seat, please. I appreciate your time before your appointment,” Dr. Isaacs says.
“Hi, Dr. Isaacs. These are Gunner’s birth parents, they’re the ones who did the genetic testing you requested.”
“Kane Treadway,” I extend my hand before sitting down with Gunner.
“Mr. Treadway, do you have any brothers?” Dr. Isaacs asks.
“No, I’m an only child, at least from my mother,” I say.
“No?” The doctor wrinkles his forehead. “There’s no way you can be the father to Gunner, but you could be his brother.”
I let out a soft chuckle. “Excuse me?” What the hell is he talking about? “Am I not a match for whatever procedure Gunner needs?”
“You’re not a perfect match, but your father would be a better match. Is there a way we can get in touch with him?”
“Wait, my father? I haven’t a fuc—I don’t even know who my father is, sir. Are you sure you’ve read that paper correctly?” I feel a wave of nausea wash over me. I look over at Megan. She’s looking down with a hand on her forehead.
“Megan?” Jenie puts her hand on Megan’s shoulder. “Was there someone else, too?”
Megan wipes away a tear. “Yeah, there was this rocker dude. He said he had an in with Nashville Records, and he was always around watching the band.”
What the fuck is going on here? What the fuck, what the fuck! I don’t hear the rest of the conversation because they all sound like the teacher on Charlie Brown. How the fuck did I not know that my father’s been around? Why the fuck didn’t he ever say anything? I feel deceived. Did Deb know this? Did Ruby know about this? Has everything been a lie all this time?
The next thing I know, Gunner’s crying and he’s being taken from my arms. Everyone is standing and shaking hands and leaving the office.
“Kane, are you okay?” Jenie asks.
“I’m not sure if I even know anymore, Jenie. Hey, I need to run. If I’m still a match or you need anything, call me. I need to…” I walk away without finishing my sentence.
I’m not sure how I make it to my car, but I pull onto Interstate 40 and nearly get hit by an eighteen-wheeler.
Who was always around the band that might have slept with Megan? I rack my brain, trying to figure out who Megan was talking about. Is this the reason Deb was in town so much? Ruby and I heard that she was in town, but we never saw her. Why wasn’t she with him when he was watching the band?
It’s not like we were ever a household name, but we had a fan base. Hell, we even played at the Bluebird, but I don’t remember anyone who was always there.
I go through each and every gig in my head, trying to remember each and every person who was there, people who would come up to us afterward. Not on the life of me can I picture anyone.
I hear a horn blow. I’d drifted into the next lane, cutting someone off. Yeah, fuck you, too! You didn’t just have a blow to the gut.
I need to get back to Nashville. I want to talk with Dr. Fowler about this. She can help me figure out where my head is on this. I don’t know what the hell to think.
I look over in the passenger seat at some piece of paper they must have handed me on the way out. There’s that horn again.
32
Oakley
Although I wanted to be there for Kane and Gunner, today was midterms and I had to go or withdraw from all my classes this semester because I’ve let my classes go here lately. I have to make school a priority if I want to become a teacher to deaf students, make a difference in their lives, help them learn and see new things, help them find new ways to learn.
When I enrolled, school was my number one priority, but life with Kane has distracted me. He’s a bad influence when it comes to me studying anything but him. As much as he’s my favorite subject, I need school to take precedence if I ever hope to graduate.
“Oakley!” Keith says, walking up behind me.
“Hey, Keith, how’s it going?” I say, turning to give him a wave.
“Good, good. How about you, Oakley? I haven’t seen you around much.”
“Yeah, I moved in with Kane. We’re officially together now,” I tell him with a big smile on my face.
“Gee, you just hopped from one guy to the other, didn’t you?”
“I beg your pardon?” I’m sure my mouth just dropped to the ground beneath our feet.
“You didn’t even give anyone else a chance, to see if you’d like them or not.” He shakes his head and looks away.
“Kane’s been in my life a long time, I’ve always been his. It just took him this long to figure that out.”
“I hope he makes you happy, I know I could have.”
“Keith, I’m sorry if I ever led you to believe we could be anything more than friends. I thought I made it very clear that first night,” I say quietly.
“You did, Oakley, but a guy can dream, right? If he’s ever a fool and lets you go, I’m first in line. You’re an awesome girl and you deserve only the very best.” He gives me a smile.
“Why don’t we right now just concentrate on being friends?” I ask, feeling awkward.
“If that’s all you're willing to give me, I’ll take it.” Keith smiles.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out, but I don’t recognize the number. “Hello.”
“Is this Oakley Wilson?” a woman asks.
“Yes, this is Oakley.” I look over at Keith and shrug my shoulders.
“Are you related to a Luther K. Treadway?” she asks.
I laugh. “No, he’s my boyfriend. He’s in Memphis today, can I help you with something?”
“We have him here at Nashville General. He had your number listed in case of emergency.”
“What’s wrong? Is he okay?” I feel all the air being sucked out of me.
“There’s been an accident. Can you come in, please?”
“Yes,” I cry. “Where?”
“He’s in the emergency room at Nashville General. If he has any other family, please inform them as well,” she says.
“Okay.” I end the call.
“Oakley, what happened? You’re white as a sheet.”
I can hear Keith, but he sounds so far away.
“Oakley,” Keith repeats.
“Hospital… Kane.” That’s all I can get out.
>
Keith leads me to his car, opens the door, puts me inside, and buckles me up.
Kane couldn’t have had an accident because he’s in Memphis. It can’t be my Kane, no. I’ll just call him. They’ll see, it’s not my Kane. My hands are shaking so bad, I almost can’t dial the number.
His phone rings.
And rings.
And rings.
Think, Oakley. Don’t freak out, think. Megan! I have Megan’s number from when she and Clay dated.
“Come on, Megan, pick up your phone.” Deep breath, Oakley. You’re strong, you’re brave.
“Hello.” Megan whispers.
“Megan, it’s Oakley, thank God you answered,” I say. “Is Kane around? He’s not answering his phone.”
“Is this some sort of joke, Oakley? If so, it’s not very funny. Kane left here over three hours ago.”
“No, he’s supposed to be with you and Gunner today,” I say, trying to get her to understand.
“Again, not very funny. Did Kane put you up to this? Tell him, I can’t reach his dad.”
“What?”
“Fuck, Oakley, get a clue. Luther Vandiver,” Megan sighs.
“Luther Vandiver? What does that have to do with Kane?” I take a shaky breath.
“Kane can explain all of it to you, but I have to get in touch with Luther, it’s for Gunner.” Megan cries.
“Megan, I can’t help you right now. Kane has been in a wreck, you know what, never mind. I don’t have time for you.” I end the call.
Think. What now? The lady said contact his family. I don’t have Ruby’s number. GG! GG and Ruby are friends. GG will know how to get a hold of Ruby.
I call GG’s house, no answer. I call the Dive, her family restaurant, “Yes, may I speak to GG, I mean—”
“Hold for just a moment, please.”
“This is Gloria,” GG answers.
“GG,” The hot tears are running down my face now.
“Oakley, what is it, honey?”
Love Me ~ Through the Storm Page 17