“Don’t touch her!” Lily yelled, and Adrian flinched, a pained expression on his face. He went down on his knees in front of me, so we were face to face. Even if he couldn’t touch me, he was still here to comfort me.
The initial thrill of having a new element had died down, and now I was completely numb. “I killed him,” I choked out. “I killed him and I wanted to do it. I enjoyed it.”
“It wasn’t you. It was the disease. You know it affects your mind,” Adrian said.
“I know, but one part of me... One part of me wanted him dead for what he did. I just...”
“We don’t have time for this!” Lily said, adjusting her rifle over her shoulder. Something exploded in the distance, fume rising from one of the buildings. This was a war, or at least a really big fight between two opposed sides. I nearly laughed out loud because my brother had finally gotten what he wanted. I wondered whether he was ready for this. Now we could find out how serious he was about the whole thing. It was always easier to talk about something than do it.
“Ria, hey.” Lily snapped her fingers in front of my face to catch my attention. “Let’s go. You need to get up.”
The whole concept of getting off the floor and walking seemed strange to me. Couldn’t they just leave me here for a little while? Surely the fight would wait for us.
“She’s in shock,” Adrian said, getting to his feet. “Ria, look at me. We need to go. Can you stand up?”
I nodded, feeling heat spreading through me. Lily took hold of my arm and pulled me to my feet. My legs were wobbly, but I managed to make a couple of steps.
“What happened?” Lily asked as we made our way across the square, which was now empty of people. Living people, at least. The dead still lay where they had fallen.
I rubbed my face, hesitant to talk about it. Hell, I wasn’t even sure myself what exactly had happened as I was pretty much out of it for a while. It was strange, because my actions had felt like my own, but they weren’t exactly mine. And when I’d thought I could think clearly, I’d been wrong. “Ethan had the trigger for the bombs and I tried to take it from him. We fought and I killed him.” That was the shortest possible version that I could give her, and I knew my voice sounded detached as I said it.
“Where is the trigger now?” Lily said cautiously.
“I have it.” I remembered slipping it into my boot, and since I could feel something biting into my skin, I was sure the trigger was still there.
The tension seeped out of Lily’s shoulders. “Good.”
At least we didn’t have to worry someone would blow us up while we were still at the square. The warmth inside of me started burning even stronger, and I gasped.
“Are you hurt?” Adrian asked, and I shook my head.
“My elements feel a bit strange,” I said sheepishly. “That’s all.”
“Did you take Ethan’s element?” Lily’s brown eyes met mine.
“Yes.”
“Then explain this strange feeling you have.”
“It burns.” I focused on the sensation, but I wasn’t sure how to describe it. It was impossible to pinpoint where it was coming from. “It feels like I ate something spicy. It burns through me, but I’m not sure where. It’s like an itch I can’t scratch.”
“Can you feel any elements?” Adrian’s eyes narrowed at me. Lily stepped away so our shoulders were no longer touching.
“Yeah, but only a little.” The area around us was swarmed with elements, but they were merely a blip on my radar.
“I didn’t know you could have two fire elements.” Adrian’s forehead creased. “Can you feel both inside of you?”
Focusing on fire, I found it inside of me, but it was only one element, not two. “No, there’s only one.” I frantically searched for my fire, but it wasn’t there! Ethan’s fire was mine now, but it felt slightly different. It was heavier, bigger, stronger and brighter. “Where is my fire?” I couldn’t have lost my fire. No. Just no. I had to find it! Had Ethan’s fire substituted mine because it was stronger? Had his fire destroyed mine?
I took deep breaths to chase away the panic that threatened to consume me. Breathing through my mouth, I could taste the smoke and dust on my tongue. A guy came at us from around the corner, his gun pointed at my head. Before I had time to do anything, Adrian used his ice and froze the guy. I couldn’t feel the guy’s element, which meant that he was blocking it somehow.
I glanced down the street to our left and saw more men in military clothes. They were mostly shooting at people, but some of them were using their elements too.
“Run!” Lily clapped me on the shoulder and we started running for cover. We couldn’t stop and gawk at the men without risking our lives.
Chapter 32
Only two blocks away from the chaos, a large brown tent stood in the middle of the street and Lily ushered us inside. The tent was filled with various equipment.
In the corner on my left, Lily’s techs were observing the fight on two computer screens, their fingers flying over the keyboard. On the other side, there was a big table and all sorts of medical equipment. It was a good thing the fight hadn’t spread all over the city or we’d be in serious trouble. Maybe people on the other side of the city had no idea what was going on and were calmly drinking their coffees in their favorite coffee shops.
Lily immediately went over to her techs, giving them instructions and observing the screens. A middle-aged man with big brown eyes entered the tent, his blue overalls covered in blood. He didn’t seem to mind the blood at all as he walked past us and flashed us a smile.
“So does this mean you have all four elements now?” Adrian’s voice was quiet and almost fearful. He didn’t dare to believe we might be able to touch freely. Of course, we didn’t know if having four elements would work that way, but it was our biggest hope, even if we didn’t want to admit we still had hope.
“I don’t know.”
“Get up here so I can have a look at you.” The doctor patted the table and I hopped onto it. I didn’t think I needed medical attention, but I wasn’t about to argue with the doctor. He was Lily’s doctor, so he must know something about the disease. After he inspected my eyes with a flashlight, he listened to my heart and checked my blood pressure.
“Your vitals are fine, although your blood pressure is higher than normal.” His lips quirked up.
I gave him a deadpan look. “No shit, doc. We’re under an attack. How am I supposed to feel? Like a ray of sunshine?” Not that I knew how a ray of sunshine felt, but for some reason everyone thought it was happy, hopeful or whatever.
“Is it safe for her if I touch her?” I could swear Adrian had stopped breathing for a second. “I helped her to get in control of herself too many times, so I’m not supposed to touch her now.” He lowered his eyes to the ground.
The doctor frowned at him and looked at me. “How many elements can you feel?”
“Umm, three, I guess.” I shrugged. “I can’t find my fire in there, but that doesn’t mean it’s gone, right?” I wanted someone to tell me that my fire would return. No, I needed someone to tell me that it was still there, even when I couldn’t feel it. I was born with my fire, even though I couldn’t feel it and use it until I was sixteen. Any other fire just couldn’t feel the same.
The doctor was quiet for a moment, his eyes pensive. “If you can only feel three elements, then you shouldn’t touch...” He was at a loss of words.
“My boyfriend,” I offered.
“Yes, you shouldn’t touch your boyfriend. Maybe it’s even more dangerous for you now. It seems like you still don’t have four elements.” He tilted his head. “If the two fires melted together, then you have only one fire. And if this new element substituted your own, that means the disease could get worse because you no longer have a natural element. All of your elements are the ones you acquired because of the disease, and it’s harder for you to control yourself if none of the elements are truly yours.”
“No.” I shook my head. �
��My fire isn’t gone. It can’t be! Maybe I’m just not feeling it because the new one is stronger at the moment.”
“Everything is possible, my dear,” the doctor said, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. “We should observe you for a while and see what happens.”
“You should go somewhere safe and rest,” Adrian said. “We don’t know how this new situation with your elements can affect you. It’s better if you take it easy now. Maybe your element shows up.”
I looked away, chewing on the insides of my mouth. Yeah, maybe my fire would show up, but what if it didn’t? I’d always been terrified of losing my element, so I didn’t even know what to do if my worst nightmare had come true.
“I agree. It’s not only dangerous for you because people are fighting each other, but also because non-carriers are using their elements. You could lose control and get distracted,” the doctor said. “And we all know distractions could cost you a lot.”
I pressed my lips together into an angry line. “But I can’t even feel elements as strongly as I usually do.”
“That’s because your new element is still fresh, but if my guess about what happened to your own element is true, you could lose control in a second,” the doctor said, placing his stethoscope back in his bag. “One moment you could feel amazing and strong, and the other, you could mindlessly attack any non-carrier with an element.”
“Right.” I’d had my share of mindless killing today, so I wasn’t looking forward to attacking anyone because my disease wanted another element. But I couldn’t exactly leave when Lily and the others needed as much help as they could get. If I got to save even one life, maybe that would make me feel better for taking Ethan’s. Yeah, like that was possible.
“I’ll go with you if that’s the only way you’d agree to leave,” Adrian said and I looked up at him. His shoulders were tense, his eyes restless. He didn’t want to leave, especially now that carriers needed his help, but he’d do it for me. He’d do it to protect me, even if it made him unhappy.
Lily strode over to us, her face serious. “Have you made your decision? I need to get out there as soon as possible. I heard what the doctor said about your condition, so if you want to leave...”
“I’m not leaving.” I hopped off the table. “I don’t want to run from a fight if I can help.” Taking the trigger out of my boot, I offered it to Lily. “This is the device I’d taken from Ethan.”
Lily glanced at it and waved her hand. “Leave it here somewhere. It’s useless anyway. People are now on the streets and advancing through the city. We can start the bombs with our elements if we want to. The only thing that matters is that our enemy doesn’t have the device. Even if they try to activate the bombs with their elements, we’ll be able to see them and we’ll have time to run before the bombs go off.”
“So what is our plan?” Adrian leaned forward, his palms splayed over the table.
Lily scratched her head. “The government sent a lot of soldiers after us. Our numbers are good too, but many are not trained for fights and killing. And with elements being used on both sides, some carriers could give in to the disease, which would make them easy targets.”
“They’d be too busy going after an element to notice anything else,” I said.
Lily nodded. “The carriers without elements and those with weak elements are at risk too because they can’t defend themselves against elements. It doesn’t help us that many protesters fled when the fight started.”
“Well, we can’t really blame anyone for running away. People came to the protest to express their dissatisfaction with the new law, not to fight for their lives against the army.” God knew how many protesters had friends and family in the army. Were they fighting each other now? I couldn’t even imagine what they must be going through.
“I know.” Lily lowered her eyes. “I’m proud of everyone who decided to stay and I’ll never be able to thank them enough, but things don’t look good for us. What angers me the most is that in the end the government could blame this whole thing on us.”
“They’ll blame it on us only if we let them.” Adrian’s eyes flashed with determination. “They don’t teach people in the army how to fight with elements, do they?”
“Only the basics,” Lily said.
“Good. That means they’re not accustomed to using their elements like this and will rely on their weapons instead.”
“Even if they don’t use their elements, we’re still outnumbered. My team is small and we don’t have enough weapons, nor people with elements.” Lily wiped beads of sweat off her forehead.
“Are we going out there to lose, then?” My eyebrows shot upward. “Should we give our best and die trying? If the government wins, they’ll come up with some trashy story to cover the whole thing up.”
“I don’t think they’ll be able to cover it all up if we come up with a good plan. The press is here, even the international one. There’s just no way there won’t be someone who’ll want to tell the world the truth,” Lily said.
Adrian snorted. “The truth can be twisted very easily. They can say your team didn’t shout out a warning to the protesters, but asked them to attack. Even if someone recorded your words, no one can prove there isn’t a part that is missing or that someone won’t alter it.”
“Great.” I sighed. “We need to win so we can be the ones to tell the story. Not them.”
“Looks like there isn’t any other way, so yeah, we need to win.” Lily found a map and spread it on the table. I looked down at the map and realized it was a very detailed map of this whole area.
She took a red marker and circled our current location. “We are here now.” She drew more circles. “The army is mostly here.” Her finger traced the lines on the map. “Carriers are here and here.” Straightening her back, she threw the marker on the table. “Our main problem are the civilians who live in this part of the city. Some of them fled and some got caught in the crossfire. I’m not sure if those who stayed will side with us or with the government. So far, my men know who to attack because the government’s men wear military clothes, but if civilians join in... They could easily pretend they want to help us, only to stab us in the back.”
Adrian tilted his head and pointed at the biggest street on the map. “We’ll have a problem if the fight spreads to alleys. We should get the army here in the open. Then we could avoid the civilians and it would be safer to use elements.”
“But then we wouldn’t have where to hide.” The big street had six lanes, so it would be a good battlefield. As far as I could see, there were only shops, bars and business related buildings nearby. Some of the buildings would get damaged, but at least we wouldn’t be ruining hundreds of homes. But how could we withstand an attack in the open?
“We could use trucks as barriers or use elements as a shield,” Adrian said.
“Yeah, but then what?” I tapped my fingers on the table. “Elemental shields are good for defense, and the trucks would slow down the army for a short while, but that’s not exactly a winning strategy.”
“We can try to get the upper hand with elements.” Adrian crossed his arms.
Lily’s gaze was transfixed on the map. “If we could somehow bring the army to the square and activate the bombs...”
“We’d die too,” I said.
“Not all of us.” Lily looked up from the map. “But there’s no way we could lure the whole army to the square.”
“Maybe we should split up and surround them, then force them to surrender,” Adrian said.
“How?” Lily gaped at him. “Even if we surprise them, I don’t think we’ll be able to scare them so easily.”
“We could get them to believe there are more of us than they expected.”
“But they’ll know. Whoever that is leading them will tell them exactly how many of us there are.” The lines on Lily’s forehead became more prominent.
“Not if we cut off their means of communication.” Adrian’s face brightened. “We need to isolat
e them completely. If we surround them and they can’t contact anyone, they’ll have to make a quick decision and that could be our chance to scare them.”
“My techs can hack into their systems or block the signal.” There was an excited undertone in Lily’s voice. “But we still need to form four groups big enough to attack from all sides.”
“Well, each one of the three of us could lead a group. We only need one more person to help us,” Adrian said.
“Where’s Oliver?” I looked at Lily. “He could help us, especially if he has weapons.” My brother could do something good for once.
“I don’t know. I’ll try to contact him.” She walked off, probably looking for a phone. I wasn’t sure where my brother could be or where his phone was, but I hoped Lily would manage to contact him and get him to agree to help us.
“Are you sure you’re ready to lead a team?” Adrian smiled at me.
“Well, I don’t really have any experience in that area, but I think I’ll be able to do it. My new element should keep me stronger at least for a while.” I toyed with a strand of my hair, biting slightly on my lower lip. “What do you think? Am I up for the challenge?”
“I believe in you.” His gray-blue eyes were strangely warm.
“Thank you.” I grinned at him. “I believe in you too.” I believe you won’t die and leave me alone.
“Oliver and his group will be joining us,” Lily said, a broad smile on her lips. I was surprised my brother had agreed to help so easily, but he’d wanted a war and he got it, so I supposed he didn’t have any crazy requests for Lily, such as the presidency or leadership of God knows what. “Ria, you need to change. My men won’t come with you unless they see you’re on our side, so you need to be dressed like we are. I don’t want anyone to shoot you before they recognize you.”
“Ok.” I wasn’t looking forward to wearing Lily’s heavy black gear, but maybe it would protect me against a bullet or two.
Lily held out two tiny, round, black devices to Adrian and me. “Put these in your ear so we can be in contact. If you need to tell me something, press the button, but be careful so that you don’t end up pushing the device down your ear.”
Restless (Element Preservers, #4) Page 19