by Sharon Sala
Eulis was still focused on what Letty had asked, and without knowing why she needed to stop, he sensed her anxiety. He side-stepped the bloody salesman as he stood, then grabbed onto the side of the door, bracing himself as he started to lean out the window. Before he could yell at Shorty, the coach lurched again. To everyone’s horror, including Eulis’s, the door swung open, taking him with it.
Letty couldn’t believe it. The horses were still running at full speed. Shorty showed no signs of slowing down, and Eulis was gone. Horrified by what might have happened to him, Letty ripped back the curtains and leaned out the window, for the moment, her need to relieve her bladder forgotten.
“Stop! Stop!” she screamed. “Please! Please! You have to stop!”
Almost instantly, Shorty could be heard shouting to the horses. To Letty’s relief, the coach began to slow down. The dust they’d been trying to outrun suddenly boiled inside the coach, adding insult to the multitude of injuries.
“Whud’s habbening?” Morris mumbled.
Ignoring his question, Letty climbing over him and jumped out before the coach stopped moving.
She staggered as she hit the ground, and then stood for a moment, looking back to where they’d been. About a hundred yards back she could see a dust-covered pile of what looked like discarded clothing. Terrified for Eulis, she yanked up her skirt and started to run.
“What the hell’s happening?” Shorty hollered.
Boston Jones had been riding backward and had seen it all.
“Someone fell out of the coach,” he said, and started climbing down from the top just as Morris started to crawl out. Inadvertently, Boston’s foot stomped directly on top of Morris’s head causing Morris to lose his balance. Instead of stepping out of the coach, he fell, face first into the dirt.
His scream was a high-pitched wail of unbelievable pain, and then fearful his travail was not yet over, he scrambled to his knees and crawled under the stagecoach. With the horses still stomping and the coach rocking slightly from the weight of their movements, the chance of being run over seemed far less painful than facing the people with whom he’d been traveling.
“You said someone fell out? How the hell did that happen?” Shorty asked.
When no one answered, he tied off the reins, and got down to see for himself. The woman who’d been a plague to them all was running hell bent for leather away and he wished her a fine trip. However, Boston seemed to be following her exit, and Morris was under the coach.
He frowned. Someone was missing. He looked again, and then realized it was Reverend Howe who was gone.
“Where’s the preacher?” he asked.
Big Will pointed behind them.
“I reckon that’s him lying back yonder in the dirt.”
“The hell you say!” Shorty muttered, reached up into the seat where he’d been sitting, and came away with a gun.
“What you reckon to do with that?” Big Will asked, as Shorty started down the road after the rest of his passengers.
“Might have broke his leg,” Shorty said.
Big Will frowned. “Hell, Shorty, he ain’t no horse. You cain’t just shoot him cause he’s crippled up some.”
Shorty stopped, looked down at the rifle then shrugged.
“Reckon you’re right,” he said, and kept walking.
“So what you gonna do with that gun?” Big Will asked, as he fell into step beside Shorty.
Shorty glared, then spit. “If that woman pitches herself another fit, I might just shoot myself so’s I don’t have to listen.”
Big Will laughed. “She is a pistol, ain’t she?”
“It is women like her that makes me glad I’m a single man,” Shorty muttered.
“I wonder how come the preacher fell outa’ the stage?”
“Who the hell knows,” Shorty said, then pointed at Letty, who was now crouching over the downed man. “For all we know, she pushed him out and beat us all there to finish him off.”
“Why would you go and say that?” Big Will asked. “They act like they like each other just fine.”
Shorty shrugged then spit again. “Maybe he went and farted.”
***
Eulis came to with a finger up his nose. Startled, he gasped and sat up just as Letty rocked back on her heels.
“What the hell was you doin?” Eulis asked.
Letty frowned. “Your nose was all full of dirt. I thought you couldn’t breathe.”
Eulis groaned and then sneezed. Something that looked like mud flew out of his nose and landed on Letty’s skirt.
“Oh that’s just fine!” she said, and got to her feet.
The shift in her posture also shifted her bladder, reminding her of her urge. Without a word to Eulis, she turned and dashed off toward a grove of trees at the side of the road.
“Where you goin’?” Eulis called.
Letty stopped, then turned and glared at him while lowering her voice to a hiss.
“I need to pee,” she said, and then headed for the trees.
Eulis’s eyes widened. “Is that why you wanted me to stop the stage?”
She kept running without looking back.
Eulis staggered to his feet. The horizon was floating about a foot off plumb, and he could only see from one eye, but it didn’t stop his indignation.
“Damn it to hell, Letty… did I just fall out of that coach on my head because you needed to pee?”
Letty’s face was flaming. If she’d had a gun she would have shot Eulis where he stood. As it was, she didn’t have time to commit murder because pee was running down her leg. She was pulling up her skirts even before she reached the trees.
Boston Jones got a real good view of her bare legs and backside before she disappeared into the brush.
“Where’s she going?” Boston asked, and then wondered why the preacher was picking his nose.
Eulis snorted as a tiny pebble fell out in his hand, after which he started to sneeze.
“You okay, Preacher?” Boston asked.
Eulis wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve then looked up. He forgot about being gentle and turning the other cheek. It never occurred to him that a preacher probably wouldn’t be cursing, no matter what pain he’d be in.
“Hell no, I’m not okay. I can’t see outa’ one eye. I mighta’ busted my head. I got rocks up my nose, I can’t feel my lips, and all because she needed to pee.”
He started limping toward the stage when he saw Shorty and Big Will coming toward him.
“What happened?” Shorty yelled.
Still pissed at what happened, Eulis opened his mouth and shouted, even though the sound made his head feel as if it was splitting in two.
“She had to pee!” He pointed toward the trees. “Sister Leticia had to pee!”
In the trees, Letty was still squatting to relieve herself when she heard Eulis shouting. Then she heard what he was saying and cursed beneath her breath. Traveling was hell on women and that was a fact. A goat had tipped her over in Forney’s outhouse and all because she needed to go. Now she was forced to endure more public humiliation because of a perfectly natural bodily function. It just wasn’t fair. Men didn’t have to hitch up a bundle of clothes, or find a place to hide their bare butts while squatting to relieve themselves. For just a moment, she almost wished she was still back in Lizard Flats at the White Dove Saloon. At least there she’d had her own clean bed and a bath every night. Then she reminded herself that she’d gotten salvation and left the sinful part of her life behind. However, she couldn’t help but wonder what her decision might have been if she’d known how difficult it was to be a moral woman.
As soon as she was finished, she stomped out of the trees and strode toward the road. The men were straggling back to the stage; every now and then giving an assist to Eulis, who seemed unsteady on his feet. She knew that he was hurt and she was sorry, but it wasn’t her fault Shorty hadn’t missed even one hole in the road all day.
By the time she got back to the stage, Short
y and Big Will were up top. Eulis and Morris were inside and Boston Jones was standing by the door, holding it ajar for her. His lanky build and his greasy black hair made her think of a snake. Still, she’d seen worse and was inclined to withhold judgment until someone proved to be false. After that, God help them, because she would not.
She had one foot on the step when Boston suddenly leaned down near her ear.
“Feeling better now, are you?”
Letty stopped. Her gaze landed on Eulis, who was already regretting his rash behavior.
He’d heard Boston’s question, and he knew Letty in a way that the rest of the men did not. To begin with, she was no fragile shade of femininity, and right now she looked as if she was coming out of hell with her tail on fire.
Letty glanced toward Morris, who was cowering in the corner with his hands splayed across his face, then took a deep breath and backed down off the step. Once she and Boston were on firm ground, she looked at him and smiled.
“Why yes, I am. How about you?” she asked, then grabbed the gambler by his dingus and gave it a hard yank. To add insult to injury, she added a short twist before turning loose and climbing up into the coach.
Stifled by both shock and pain, the blood immediately rushed to Boston’s face, and then flowed out as quickly as he grabbed his crotch and dropped to his knees.
“Ever’body inside?” Shorty hollered.
“Aagghh,” Boston said, and threw up.
Shorty leaned over and looked down.
“What in hell is wrong now?”
Boston rolled over onto his side, drew his knees up to his chin and started talking in a tongue Shorty didn’t understand.
“Hey, Will, somethin’s wrong with the gambler. Throw him in the coach and let’s get movin’. I got me some time to make up.”
Big Will climbed down off the seat, thrust his hands beneath Boston’s arms and lifted. Despite the gambler’s best intentions, gravity prevailed and his legs dropped, which only increased his pain.
“Oooommmmyyyygggoooddd.”
“What’s wrong with you, man?” Big Will asked, and pushed him toward the open door of the coach.
Tears were streaming down Boston’s face. He visibly shuddered as he reached for the coach to steady himself.
“Come on, man,” Big Will said. “Shorty’s on a tear and ready to go, so you need to get on inside.”
Boston nodded as Big Will gave him another push. He tried to step up, but it felt as if someone had tied one end of a rope to his guts and the other end to his testicles, and tied it too short. He couldn’t get his foot off the ground without feeling as if someone had put his dingus in a vice, so he crawled in instead. He was still on his knees when he glanced up.
Letty was staring down at him in silence.
He whimpered. “Don’t hurt me.”
She leaned down until they were eye to eye.
“Were you speaking to me?”
He whimpered again. “No, ma’am.”
“I didn’t think so,” she said, and began tucking stray bits of her hair back into the bun at the top of her head.
Eulis eyed Letty nervously out of his good eye and then ran his finger along the swelling on his lower lip. He’d shot his wad of rebellion and was now willing to suffer in silence, if only she’d let him live.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered.
She didn’t bother to acknowledge his presence.
Morris chanced angering her further by helping Boston into the seat at the same moment that Shorty started the team.
The horses leaped forward.
The coach lurched.
Later, the injured men would swear it was the look Sister Leticia gave them that kept them pinned in their seats. But at any rate, the journey resumed and four hours later, they arrived at Fort Mays.
It was then Letty and Eulis learned the bad news. The stage didn’t go any farther. It was the end of the line.
Now if they intended to stay on the Amen Trail and play Preacher and Sister, they were going to have to do it on horseback. And, as if that wasn’t enough grief, the past caught up with Eulis.
***
Eulis’s eye was swollen shut, his lower lip was twice its normal size, and an upper tooth was loose where he’d hit the ground. His clothes were filthy, dust was matted in his hair, and there was a large purple bruise on his chin. When they rolled through the stockade gates and Big Will jumped down and opened the door for the passengers, Eulis found his muscles had seized up so badly he couldn’t move.
“You firss,” he mumbled, and pointed to Letty.
She eyed Boston and Morris, who were making pointed efforts to get their feet out of her way so that she could pass. Nodding politely at their thoughtfulness, she grabbed her purse and made her way to the door. Big Will offered her a hand down, which she gratefully took, and missed seeing the sighs of relief from the three men left inside.
Boston was nearest the door and got out next, wincing visibly as he stepped down. He picked up his bag from the luggage Shorty had unloaded and started across the parade grounds to the Sutler’s store.
Both of Morris’s eyes had turned black, his nose was swollen to twice its size, and he was now forced to breathe through his mouth. Once out of the coach, he picked up his bag and moved to the commander’s office to see if there was a military physician at the fort.
That left Eulis still inside the coach. Big Will leaned forward and looked in.
“You all right, Preacher?”
“No,” Eulis mumbled.
“Can you get up?”
“I don’ know,” Eulis said, and then proceeded to scoot across the seat toward the door, but when he went to lean forward, every muscle in his back protested. “Don’t think I can,” he said.
“I’ll help,” Big Will said, grabbed Eulis’s hand and yanked.
Eulis came up before he had braced himself and went headfirst out the door in the same manner that he’d fallen out earlier. Certain that he was going to hit the dirt, he cried out in anticipation of the pain he would feel.
“Easy there, Preacher,” Big Will said, as he steadied Eulis on his feet and then gave him a sturdy whack on the back. “Nice meetin’ you, Reverend. You have a safe trip west and watch out for Injuns.”
Eulis blanched. He’d been so set on getting out of Lizard Flats without being found out that he hadn’t given that possibility any thought. Only now he and Letty were at the last outpost of civilization. Beyond the western edge of the fort lay a lot of unsettled territory, the occasional wagon train trekking across the Rocky Mountains for California, and a whole lot of unruly Indians in between. This set up a whole new set of problems, which meant he and Sister Leticia needed to have a talk before bedtime tonight. They could always backtrack and head for the southern states, although he thought he remembered hearing some rumblings from travelers regarding the state of their politics. There were rumors of secession and going to war, and if this was so, the last place he wanted to be was in the middle of a fight. He’d had all of that he ever wanted to see in this lifetime.
He looked around, wondering where Sister Leticia had gotten to, then snorted, figuring that wherever the privy was, she’d found her way there. In all his years, he’d never seen a woman have so much trouble over taking a piss.
“Brother Howe!”
He flinched. Letty’s strident tone covered the distance between them as surely as if she’d just whispered in his ear.
He turned and then squinted his good eye against the evening sun. She was waving at him from across the way. Eulis waved back, then picked up his suitcase and limped to her.
“They have an empty barracks. It is dormitory in style, but we will each have a bed.”
Eulis nodded.
Letty frowned. “You don’t look so good.”
It was impossible to roll one’s eyes when there was only one functioning, and it hurt too much to blink, but he managed a small snort.
“You don’t say,” he muttered. “Where’s that
barrack? I need to clean up and then we have to talk.”
Letty’s frown deepened. “I think you’d be wanting to practice up some on a sermon.”
“Sister Leticia, it might have escaped your notice, but I cannot breathe easily through my nose, and my lip is too swollen to speak comfortably. I intend to take a bath and sleep until sunrise tomorrow. After that, we need to decide where we’re going next. We haven’t a lot of money and—”
“Are you saying you want to quit preaching?” Letty asked.
Eulis heard panic in her voice, and knew that if he said yes, her only alternative to starving was to go back to sleeping with men for money. He sighed. Being responsible for someone else’s life was a new thing for him. He wasn’t sure if he was up to it, but he wasn’t ready to quit yet.
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying we might need to go somewhere besides West, what with the Injuns and all.”
Letty paled. She had her own demons to deal with when it came to Indians. She’d been orphaned because of them, then taken to a sinful way of life because of that. Meeting up with them again was the last thing she wanted to face.
“We could try south,” she suggested.
Eulis shrugged. “I heard tell there might be a war.”
“Over what?” Letty asked.
“There’s some that don’t hold with keeping slaves and others that do.”
Letty frowned. “And they want to fight a war over that? All they have to do is just let them go and hire them back like any worker. Surely we won’t be fighting among ourselves.”
“I don’t know,” Eulis said. “Southerners have their ways just like the Yankees have theirs.”
“Yeah, well we’re neither of those,” Letty said. “We live out west. We mind our own business, and encourage others to do the same.”
“I still don’t think we oughta go south.”
“Maybe so,” Letty said. “We’ll talk about it later. Now come with me. I’ll show you where we’re going to sleep.”
They were walking across the parade ground past the Sutler’s store when a uniformed officer strode out of the doorway directly in their path.
Letty gasped and stepped back as the soldier paused and tipped his hat.