by Sharon Sala
But he kept batting at her hands, undoing everything she tried to do.
“Don’t wanna hang. They hang deserters. Don’t wanna hang.”
Letty shuddered. He was already out of his head. Fear made her angry and she took it out on him.
“Damn it, Eulis Potter! You’re not gonna hang, but you’re gonna freeze to death unless you let me help.”
“Cold,” he muttered.
She laid her hand against his face. The fire beneath his skin was frightening.
“I know honey,” she said softly. “I know you’re cold. Let’s go inside the cabin, okay?”
“Okay,” he said, and passed out.
She took advantage of the moment by quickly wrapping the rope around his chest and tying it off. She pulled it as taut as she dared without getting him too close to Rosy’s hooves, then grabbed Rosy’s halter and began leading her toward the cabin as fast as she dared, dragging Eulis behind.
Twice she had to stop and brush snow from his face before they made it to the cabin. She dragged him all the way to the doorsill, then untied the rope and pulled him inside the cabin. Quickly, she unhitched Rosy and left her free to graze as she ran back inside.
Eulis was lying where she’d left him. Snow was melting from his pants and coat, leaving him lying in a swiftly spreading puddle. She shut the door, tore off her coat and dropped to her knees beside him.
“Got to get these wet things off you,” she muttered, and started pulling at his boots.
He moaned once, but didn’t move. His silence was more frightening than when he’d fought her before.
She shoved the wet boots near the fire to dry, and then began tugging off his pants. It took longer to get off his coat and shirt, because she had to keep rolling him from side to side.
Finally, he was naked, and Letty started to shake. Already, the first signs of the pox were visible on his skin.
“God give me strength,” she prayed softly, and then squatted behind him, slid her hands beneath his arms and started to pull.
“Help me, Eulis. Please God… help him to help me.”
She pulled again, this time pulling up in an effort to get him to his feet and into bed and somehow he moved. The success of her effort gave her strength, so she pulled again, and he moved again, and so it continued until he was finally on the bed.
He promptly rolled over onto his side and moaned. When she tried to cover him up, he kicked off the covers.
“Hot… too hot.”
Letty grabbed the bucket and ran out the door, coming back moments later with it packed full of snow. She scooped some of it into a pan and then set the bucket by the fire to melt. With shaking fingers, she began bathing his skin with the snow, hoping to lower his temperature.
It wasn’t until sundown that she remembered the mules and ran out into the night, carrying the rifle to bring them home. To her relief, they’d come to the lean-to on their own, and she quickly shut them in, then she set the rifle aside and carried in as much firewood as she thought they might need.
She brought in a fresh bucket of snow, and the last thing she brought in was the rifle. Once inside, she let the door swing shut. When the sound echoed, Letty flinched. She turned and stared at the door, then down at the man on the bed. Before, when she’d shut them in each night, it had been to keep them safe from danger. Tonight, the danger was within, and there was little she could do to keep it out.
By morning he was covered in pox and out of his head. Letty had spent the night by his side, bathing his body with the melted snow, and when she could manage it, getting water down his throat. She was so tired she was shaking and nearly blind from exhaustion, yet sleep was impossible. If she closed her eyes, Eulis might die, and she couldn’t let that happen.
After a quick trip outside to relieve herself, and to let out the mules, she came back carrying a chunk of bone with a little meat and fat that they’d butchered from the elk. She started it to simmer, adding salt and a pinch of dried sage. Maybe today Eulis would feel better, and if he did, he would need sustenance, but nothing heavy—just a little elk broth.
Once she’d put the soup bone on to cook, she felt better, as if by planning ahead, she’d given Eulis a future she’d been uncertain he would have.
A familiar stench rose from the bed and Letty turned abruptly.
“My poor man,” she said softly, then took a pan of warm water from the hearth and carried it to the bed.
Eulis would hate what was happening to him, but in a way it was just as well that he didn’t know. He would have rather died than know he was soiling himself and that Letty was cleaning him up as if he was a baby.
Once the job was finished, she carried the waste water outside and dumped it on the other side of the lean-to. When she turned around to go back into the cabin, she found herself face to face with a wolf.
“God in heaven,” she gasped, and took a step backward.
The wolf snarled as it lowered its head. It was then Letty saw the blood spreading around its foot and staining the snow. It appeared as if some toes were missing, probably from being caught in a trap. Back in Lizard Flats, she’d heard trappers talking about catching wolves in traps only to have them chew off their own foot rather than stay caught.
The wolf’s sides were gaunt. It was obvious he’d been unable to hunt, and she was standing between him and the scent of elk meat. The wolf’s upper lip curled, showing a mouthful of sharp teeth. Hunger had overcome every fear it might have had regarding man, and was willing to do what it took to feed.
A growl rumbled low in its throat as it slunk forward.
Letty thought of the rifle inside the cabin and groaned.
“Get!” she shouted, and waved the pan in the air.
The wolf flinched and dodged, but didn’t go far. When she moved toward the cabin, instinctively, the wolf shifted, too, and again, she was pinned. To her horror, the wolf started toward her, and this time with no intent of stopping.
Letty moved backward, all the way to the firewood. When she hit the stack with her heel, she suddenly realized she had all the weapons she would need at her back. Her fingers curled around a large branch, only seconds before the wolf leaped.
Letty screamed as she swung. The branch hit the wolf in mid-air, landing solid up the side of its head. Blood splattered again, only this time on her. The wolf dropped at her feet then twitched, probably in the throes of death, but Letty wasn’t taking any chances. She hit it again, and then again, until blood and brains were spilled all over the snow and she was staggering from the shock of what she’d done.
She dropped the branch into the snow and looked around for her pan. It was right where she’d dropped it, but when she bent down to pick it up, she swayed, then went to her knees. She took what she meant to be a deep, calming breath, and then started to sob. She cried until her head hurt, and her feet and legs were numb from the cold. When she tried to stand up, she stumbled and fell, only to find herself lying face to face with what was left of the wolf. She stared long and hard at the flattened skull and sightless eyes and then gritted her teeth. It was dead. She was not. This time when she stood, she was steady on her feet.
She toed the carcass with the end of her boot.
“You shouldn’t have gotten in my way,” she muttered, and then went into the cabin.
Eulis was right where she’d left him, clean and warm beneath the covers. She felt of his forehead, which was still hot to the touch, then slipped her hand beneath his head and raised it just enough that he might drink from the cup she held to his lips.
“Drink, Eulis. Open your mouth and take a drink.”
He began muttering the same thing over and over.
“Don’t drink… not anymore… not anymore… not anymore.”
Letty pried his lips apart and gently poured the liquid in.
“Swallow it, Eulis. It’s just water. I swear.”
The water dribbled down both sides of his lips, but enough went into his mouth to satisfy her intent. She ea
sed him back down and went to check on the broth. It was bubbling.
She looked down at her pants, frowning at the blood on the legs, then looked at her hands and shuddered.
She’d killed a man once when she’d taken him to bed, but that had been in the throes of sex, and he’d paid her to die. She’d never killed anything with her hands before, and had often wondered if she had it in her to do the deed. So now she knew.
She took the skinning knife from the mantle and started for the door, pausing but a moment by Eulis’s bed.
“I’ll be right back,” she said. “Don’t bother getting up. I’ll see myself out the door.”
She laughed aloud at the absurdity of what she’d just said, and then choked back another sob. There were things to be done, and she was burning daylight. She laid another stick of wood on the fire, and headed for the door, taking care to carry the rifle when she left.
***
She’d lost track of the days that had come and gone. All she knew was that she was so weary from lack of sleep that she’d begun hallucinating. The clean snow around the cabin had either been used up, or stomped down by the mules. It had taken everything she had to make it to the falls, and now she staggered back into the cabin with a bucket of fresh water. She looked toward the fireplace and then froze. For a second, all she could see was the wolf that she’d killed, only it wasn’t dead anymore. It was standing near the fireplace, snarling at her all over again.
She screamed, then stumbled, and fell over the doorsill, going face first onto the floor. The water spilled as she busted her lip. When she rolled over and looked up, she realized that it wasn’t the wolf, but the skin.
She had cured and stretched it like Eulis had shown her, spending hours scraping the hide before the fire. It galled her that, even in death, its spirit was still strong enough to scare her.
But, she reminded herself that it was dead and she wasn’t, so she lay where she’d fallen, too exhausted to care that she was lying in water. Finally, she exhaled on a sigh as she rolled over and stared up at the raftered ceiling. After a few moments, she closed her eyes.
The scent of sickness filled the room. The pox on Eulis’s body had begun to break and run, and the stench was not unlike that of something rotten. She’d tried so hard to keep him alive, but she didn’t think it was going to happen. She’d quit praying to God right after she’d skinned the wolf, and tossed the carcass out into the meadow for scavengers to devour. The way she figured it, she’d committed too many sins for God to hear her now, and Eulis was going to pay for her mistakes. She was helpless to save him, and since God wasn’t answering any of her prayers, Eulis was doomed.
“You’re gettin’ wet.”
“Like I don’t know it,” Letty muttered, then opened her eyes and screamed. “Eulis! You’re awake!”
“You’re still wet,” he mumbled, then closed his eyes.
She jumped to her feet and ran to him, feeling of his forehead and then his cheeks. His skin felt damp and clammy, and he wasn’t as hot as he’d been. Could it be? Was it possible? Was the fever breaking? Was Eulis going to live after all?
“Eulis! Eulis! Can you talk to me?”
“Water.”
Letty grabbed his cup and then lifted his head enough that he could swallow without choking. To her overwhelming relief, the water actually went down. It was only one small swallow, but for a man who hadn’t done anything more than breathe in and breathe out for days, it was a miracle.
As soon as she lowered his head, he passed out. But this time she didn’t care. She stripped off her wet coat, took the broom to the floor and used it like a mop until the water she’d spilled had worked its way between the floorboards into the dirt below. Then she ladled a bowl of elk broth into a cup to let it cool. When he woke up again, she was going to get some of it down him or die trying.
A few minutes later, he opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was a spoon coming toward him. He opened his mouth in reflex. The warm broth slid between his lips onto his tongue. He choked and then swallowed to keep from choking again.
“What’s that smell?” he murmured.
“Yourself,” Letty said. “Pox stinks.”
“I am rotting.”
Letty spooned another bit of broth into his mouth. This time he only choked once.
“Up. Raise me up.”
She wadded up her coat and used it to pillow his head.
He immediately moaned, and quickly closed his eyes. The bed was spinning one way, the room the other. It was too much motion too soon.
“Down. Down,” he begged.
She gently lowered his head back to the bed.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Did that make you sick?”
He blinked once for yes, and then closed his eyes.
“Want to eat any more soup?”
Unable to stand the sound of his own voice, he just mouthed the word, no.
Letty set the cup aside, and then went to get a pan of water and the wash rag. She pulled aside the covers and began to bathe his body, gently washing away the rotting skin and pus. And for the first time since she’d laid him in the bed, Eulis began to object.
“Pants… nekked butt…” he muttered, and tried to push away her hands.
Too weary to be delicate, Letty shoved them aside and continued her task.
“Be quiet, fool. I have been looking at your naked butt for more than a week and I haven’t passed out yet, so hush.”
He hushed, and while he was considering the indignity he was enduring, quietly passed out again.
As soon as Letty had him cleaned, she covered him back up and then tossed the water outside. She didn’t have the strength for another trip to the falls, so she laid another stick of wood on the fire, blotted his peeled and drying lips with a clean wet cloth, and then wrapped herself in a blanket and lay down on the floor beside his bed. Confident that the worst had passed, and knowing that if she didn’t get some rest, she would pass with it, she closed her eyes. Within seconds, she was asleep.
THE TIME OF REVELATIONS
It was snowing the day Eulis stood up on his own. The wind was a constant wail, not unlike the howls of the wolf pack that visited them every night. The storm was a white-out of thick snow blowing horizontally from north to south. The wall beside the fireplace was stacked high with firewood, while a large hunk of elk roasted on a spit over the fire.
Letty sat on a stool near the hearth, stitching the soles to the tops on a pair of moccasins she was making for Eulis. She’d measured his feet while he’d been sleeping and was hoping to finish them up before he woke. Since Eulis had gotten sick, she’d lost track of time and wasn’t even sure what day of the week it was, but she figured Christmas wasn’t far away. The holiday had never meant a lot to her before, but considering their metamorphoses from drunk and whore, she thought it seemly to honor the day. She had yet to tell him about her encounter with the wolf, and thought it great fun to surprise him with shoes made from the hide of the deadly marauder.
She was almost through with the leather lacings when Eulis started to stir. She quickly gathered up the pieces and stuffed them in a box just as Eulis opened his eyes.
He hadn’t expected to see her watching him from the foot of the bed and was still sensitive to the way he looked. The pox was in the scab stage, the last stage of healing and looked disgusting. He raised up on his elbows and frowned.
“If you were plannin’ on givin’ me another bath, you better think again. I wash my own butt from here on in.”
Letty was so happy he was alive to complain, that she didn’t let his smart mouth get to her as she might have. Instead of arguing with him, she changed the subject.
“Are you hungry? I got a roast on the spit and some soup left over from yesterday.”
His indignation was replaced with shame. She’d just spent the past week keeping his sorry ass alive, and now here she was offering him some food, and all he could do was complain. He rolled over and then swung his feet off the sid
e of the bed.
“I reckon I could eat a bite.”
Letty hurried to the fireplace, happy to be doing something productive. Before he’d gotten sick, she’d been in the habit of working outside for at least a part of the day, and being cooped up in the cabin was more than a little confining. She grabbed a plate, sliced off an outside piece of the roast, then ladled a cup full of soup and carried them to the table. But when she turned around to help him to the table, she was surprised to see that he’d started on his own.
He had wrapped himself in one of the blankets, and was unsteady on his legs, but he was walking alone, and for Letty, it was the final proof that he was almost healed.
“Oh Eulis,” she said, and then burst into tears.
“Well, here now… what are you cryin’ about?”
She quickly swiped at the tears on her cheeks as she took his elbow and steadied his steps until he could sit down.
“There were days when I didn’t think I’d ever see you do this again. I’m just happy, that’s all.”
He gave her a quick hug as she settled him into the chair.
“There were days when I didn’t think I would do this again, either.” His voice shook. “I owe you my life.”
Letty tried to laugh it off, but the moment was too precious to jest. She looked down into his dear, familiar face and ached for the pain that he’d suffered.
“Yeah, well, you kept me from hanging, so I reckon now we’re even.”
He grinned as she moved to the other side of the table.
“You know somethin’?”
“I know lots of somethings,” she said.
He laughed and then took a sip of the soup.
“You don’t know my somethin’,” he countered.
“So… I’m listening.”
“The people we were in Lizard Flats…”
She hated to be reminded of that life. It always left her feeling worthless and dirty.
“What about them?”
“They don’t exist anymore. They died as surely as if we buried ’em in the grave with the real preacher and that trapper.”