by Linda Wisdom
Ginna’s grin was faint but there. “Yes, Mother.” She picked up her fork.
“And the rest of my lecture? You did hear it, right?”
“Yes.”
“And?” Nora waved her fork in front of Ginna’s face.
“He hasn’t asked me yet,” Ginna argued.
“But he will.” Nora worked on her own salad. “I really should hate you. Instead, I’m giving up men. It will be much easier on the nerves. A so-called nice guy asks me out, I accept, and next thing I know he’s a total loser. I’ve decided I can’t do this anymore. You got the last good one. Hang on to him, because if you do something stupid such as throw him back, I will move in so fast your head will spin. No ruffly bridesmaid dresses, okay? And you know I’m always right.” She smirked.
Ginna looked at her friend. “We really need to discuss what sympathy means, because you have completely lost the concept.”
ZACH LOOKED at the contract lying in front of him. His agent had assured him it was a great deal. Zach looked at the numbers and knew he was right.
He had almost four years’ worth of columns to work with. The publisher liked the idea of writing the book from a father’s perspective from day one. All the hopes and worries he went through.
It would be a new beginning for him. Expanding the columns, recalling the twins from day one. From that first time he held them in his arms.
Trey’s first word turning out to be a mangled version of Emma’s name.
Emma learning to walk by holding her hands straight out from her sides to keep her balance. Her gurgled laughter as she succeeded.
Trey falling out of a swing and breaking his arm. Zach comforting the crying boy as he drove at breakneck speed to the hospital.
The day at the park when Emma was stung by a bee. His fear when she went into shock. A horrible way to find out his daughter was allergic to bee stings. His cold fear as he sat in the hospital emergency room waiting for word that his little girl was all right.
Then there was their first day of preschool. How badly he wanted to keep them home with him because he knew they would be safe as long as they were with him. And the awareness that the only way they could grow as individuals was to go out into the world.
It still hurt like hell.
And now kindergarten loomed in their future. The beginning of a future that fate mapped out for them. It wouldn’t be long before they left him behind.
The publisher even hinted another book could be in the offing if this one did well.
He’d always enjoyed his work. It paid well enough for him to remain home with the twins during their formative years.
But now they were growing. Emma’s insistence on a mother was more than a child’s wish.
A teenage Trey he could handle. He knew what teenage boys thought and did. But girls were still a mystery. Growing up with Lucie showed him what happens with teenage girls. Lucie, the adolescent girl, had been an education he doubted he’d ever forget. But dealing with his sister was totally different than dealing with his daughter.
Ginna would know what to do. Cathy and Lou were perfect grandparent material.
Zach loved his parents, but they didn’t like to think of themselves as grandparents. His father didn’t look at Nick’s intelligence. He preferred lecturing Lucie that if she didn’t spoil the boy, he wouldn’t get into trouble. Zach knew differently. Nick was a boy who needed someone to keep him on track. Zach did what he could, but he was only just an uncle.
Zach and Lucie’s parents flew out to visit once a year, spent time with the grandchildren and happily returned them to their parents.
His mother wouldn’t have dreamed of spending the morning teaching Emma to bake cookies and muffins. And his father wouldn’t have spent hours patiently answering Trey’s numerous questions on how an engine worked. Or allowed Nick to take a watch apart so he could see if he could put it back together again.
Cathy and Lou, who weren’t even blood relatives, did that and more.
If Zach wasn’t careful, Ginna would think he loved her for her parents.
He loved Ginna.
That was a given. Maybe he’d fallen in love with her the first moment he saw her while she confidently informed him the seat was hers. Or when she called him her hero. Or the first time they made love. Or maybe he’d fallen in love with her when she’d so easily accepted Emma and Trey. Or just all those times they were together, content to be wrapped in each other’s arms.
He picked up the phone and tapped out a number.
“Lucie Donner.”
“You planned it all from the beginning, didn’t you?” he said without any preamble.
She didn’t pretend not to know what he was talking about.
“I told you before. You needed a vacation and Ginna was getting ready to take one. I got a great deal.”
“Sure you did. Two people, one seat.”
“That was trickier and I don’t intend to get anyone in trouble,” she said firmly. “What brought all this up again?”
“Maybe the realization that my sister went above and beyond the call of duty to give me something very special.” His voice softened. “I guess I really owe you.”
“Wow,” she said. “All this brotherly love. I really like it. Does this mean what I think it does?”
“That you’re a great sister and I love you?”
“Well, that’s a given,” she said, exasperated with his teasing. “What I’m talking about is you asking Ginna to marry you. She’s perfect for you. Besides, I think if the two of you broke up, the kids would insist on going with her.”
“You’re probably right about that,” he replied. “And, yes, I am thinking about proposing to her.”
“Yes!”
He winced and held the phone away from his ear before her shrieks of joy shattered his eardrum.
“It’s a good thing I have two ears, Luce,” he grumbled, “because I just lost the hearing in one of them.”
“You name the day and I will take the kids so you can have all the time you need,” she promised.
“Let me figure this out first,” he told her. “And I don’t want you to say one word to Ginna.”
“I won’t,” she vowed. “Just don’t waste any time, okay?”
Zach hung up and turned back to the contract. With a grin splitting his face, he signed his name and slid it into an envelope.
One part of his new life was beginning.
Now to get on to the next and most important part of it.
Chapter Fourteen
“When you said we were going out for an elegant dinner, you weren’t kidding.” Ginna looked at her surroundings with interest. She turned back to Zach. “This is beautiful.” She picked up the red rose with its bud just beginning to bloom. The thorns had been carefully clipped away to protect against cuts. She brought it to her nose. The delicate scent tickled her nostrils. Proof it hadn’t been grown in a hothouse.
“The perfect background for you,” Zach said gallantly. It had been several weeks since the contract had been finalized and he wanted them to be somewhere special when he gave her the good news.
She smiled. “And you in a suit.” She openly admired him in the charcoal suit, light-blue shirt and darker-blue tie. “My, my, Mr. Stone, you do clean up good. I am impressed.” And glad she’d worn one of her favorite dresses. A red gown with a draped neckline and narrow sequined straps while the skirt fluttered down to her calves in handkerchief points. Nora had done her hair, pulling it up on top of her head in a cluster of curls that looked tousled but had been carefully arranged. Faint hints of glitter in the curls caught the light. Diamond drop earrings that had belonged to her grandmother twinkled each time she turned her head.
“I thought we’d do some celebrating tonight,” Zach explained. He leaned back as the wine steward brought over the bottle of champagne he’d ordered. He waited as some was poured into his glass and he sampled it. He nodded his approval, then waited until they were alone again. “The book deal
for my column has been finalized, and the contract has been signed and sent back to my agent.”
Her face lit up with joy. “Oh, Zach!” She reached across the table and took his hand in hers. “I’m so happy for you. Your columns are wonderful and really need to be shared with a large audience. I can’t wait to see the final product.”
He toyed with the stem of his champagne glass. “It’s going to be a hell of a lot more work than I’ve done before,” he admitted. “I haven’t even started writing it, and I’m already scared to death.”
“No reason for you to be. All you need to do is read your old columns. You’ll know just what you want to write,” she assured him. “Something you’d forgotten. Or look at pictures of Emma and Trey to jog the memory banks. No wonder you wanted to celebrate.”
“Part of the reason, yes,” he murmured.
Ginna lifted her glass. “Here’s to a bestselling book on single fathers.”
He gently tapped her glass with his own.
Ginna was always more excited by others’ accomplishments than any of her own. She was always happiest cheering someone else on.
She knew Zach and his agent had been working on the book deal for some time. Now it had been signed and sealed. She was pleased he wanted to share the moment with her.
She sipped her champagne.
Ginna couldn’t help it. She oohed and aahed over each course served with a dramatic flourish by their waiter, who spoke with a French accent that had to be authentic.
“Zach, please do not take this the wrong way,” she said softly when she felt confident their waiter was out of earshot. “Since my menu didn’t show any prices, I can only assume this dinner is going to cost you a small fortune. You could probably have taken the kids to Disneyland for the weekend.”
“They’ll get Disneyland,” he assured her. “This is Disneyland for the grown-ups. I just wish I’d thought of a limousine to complete the picture. And don’t worry about it,” he said. “I’m a big-name author now, remember?”
She laughed and returned to her meal, which she swore melted in her mouth.
She didn’t leave one crumb of the flourless chocolate cake topped with raspberry sauce that she had for dessert.
“You can bring me here anytime,” she said.
“I’ll start saving my pennies now.” He grinned.
Ginna adjusted her red lacy shawl as they walked out of the restaurant. Zach handed his ticket stub to the valet, who left them to retrieve his vehicle.
“We have to go to the beach,” she told him as he drove out of the parking lot.
“We do?” He was amused by her demand.
“Yes,” she said firmly. “You can take off your coat and tie, open your collar and take off your shoes and socks. And we’ll dance on the sand.”
He glanced around and made a quick, and illegal, U-turn.
“You’re right. We do need to go to the beach.”
“Perfect,” Ginna pronounced as they walked along the water’s edge. Zach left his coat, tie, shoes and socks in the SUV, along with Ginna’s shoes. He rolled up his pant legs before they stepped onto the sand. She waved her hand in the direction of the ocean where the moon seemed to hang from the middle of the sky. Faint sounds of music could be heard coming from a restaurant a short distance away.
She turned around and held up her arms, stepping into Zach’s embrace.
“Just like that first night,” she said as he swung her around.
“Same ocean. Same us.”
They continued dancing even when the music stopped. When they slowed, Zach lowered his head and kissed her.
“I wanted you to have a special evening,” he said.
She looked up at him with a face that didn’t need the light of the moon to show it was glowing. Her smile said it all.
“And I have. But then, every evening with you is special,” she said sincerely.
“I like the idea of spending every evening with you,” Zach said softly, keeping her in his arms. “I’d planned on doing this during dinner. In your champagne or hidden in your dessert. But then I had this fear you’d swallow it and we’d end in the emergency room. Not so romantic that way.” He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. He opened it and drew out a ring. “Marry me, Ginna. Marry me and I will share all that I have with you. Marry me and I will love you beyond forever.”
She didn’t need to search his face to know he spoke the truth. She heard it in his voice. Sensed it in his very stance.
She swallowed because the words wouldn’t come. As the silence lengthened between them, she watched the hope leave Zach’s eyes and face.
“You—” she licked her lips “—know everything about me.”
“If you mean that you can’t have children, yes, but I’m not Denny,” he reminded her. “Even if I didn’t have Emma and Trey, it wouldn’t matter. I love you, not whether you’re capable of childbearing or not. What’s important is our being together.”
She was afraid she would cry.
“The time will come when you’ll want more children,” she said desperately, then shook her head when he opened his mouth. “Don’t argue with me. You can’t honestly know that you won’t want more.”
“Two are plenty,” he told her. “If we decide to adopt, great, we’ll adopt. I’ll still be working from home, so it’s not as if I’d expect you to be a stay-at-home mom. I know how much you enjoy your work. I want us to be together, Gin.”
“It’s easy for you to say that now!” she cried, backing away from him. “Denny said it and then he decided he wanted children. His own.”
Zach didn’t move. He watched her face under the pearly glow of the moon. Wordlessly he put the ring back in the box and replaced it in his pocket.
“I’ll take you home now,” he said quietly.
Ginna didn’t say a word as they walked back to the beach’s parking lot.
She wanted to weep at the impersonality of his touch as he helped her into the vehicle.
The silence between them during the drive back to her house was charged with sadness, instead of joy.
The moment she had her front door unlocked and pushed open, he turned to walk away.
“Zach.” She touched his arm to stop his retreat. “Please, listen to me. I love you so much it hurts. When you asked me to marry you, there was nothing I wanted to say more than yes.”
“But you didn’t.” His expression was as harsh as his words.
“Because we both need to be sure,” she insisted.
Zach shook his head. “I am sure, Ginna. I’ve never been more sure of anything. I love you and I want you for my wife. But I guess until you get over your fears, that won’t be possible. Just remember something. Other than that time in the very beginning, I have never lied to you. Maybe if you think about it, you’ll realize all that’s holding us back is you.”
He left without kissing her or even touching her.
Ginna went inside and closed the door. She could hear the sound of Zach’s SUV driving away.
Now the tears began to flow. She slid down the door’s surface until she sat on the tile floor. She was so lost in her misery that she was barely aware of Casper whining and licking her face. Seeing how upset his mistress was, he lay down beside her and nuzzled her hand, finally settling his head in her lap by way of comfort.
She had no idea how long she sat there crying. Not that it mattered.
In the space of a few minutes she’d tossed away everything that mattered to her.
She could tell herself from now until doomsday that what she did was right. That the time would come when Zach would thank her for this.
But all her mentally detailing why she couldn’t accept his proposal didn’t make her feel any better.
DAMMIT, IT WASN’T supposed to happen that way!
The crying he expected, the refusal hovering on her lips he didn’t. He thought she’d accept his ring and they would go back to her house for further celebration.
D
idn’t she know him by now? She had to know he’d never do anything to hurt her.
Zach alternated between frustration and anger.
He hadn’t just popped the question on a whim. He’d thought about it for some time. What it would mean for Emma and Trey. He knew they both would have been delighted to have Ginna for a mother.
He knew her worries about her inability to have children. He also tried to understand why she would hesitate making a lasting commitment. But he thought she’d gone past that by now.
She should know it didn’t matter to him. What he loved was the woman she was. The woman who was so open and caring. Who shared her family. Who loved his kids as much as he did.
He gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles whitened. He had no idea where he was going. He just knew he wasn’t going home. Lucie had the twins until tomorrow afternoon, so it wasn’t as if he had to be back at a certain time.
It wasn’t until he stopped before a low building with lights blazing inside that he realized his subconscious had ideas of its own.
Band music with some additional noises echoed off the garage’s metal walls as he walked inside.
Lou Walker looked up and smiled. If he found the sight of Zach in wrinkled suit pants and dress shirt odd, he gave no indication.
“There’s coffee on the counter.” He jerked his head to one side.
“Thanks.” Zach filled a heavy ceramic mug and walked back to a car front seat and sat down. The hot liquid seared his throat while the caffeine zapped straight to his brain.
“So what’s with the fancy clothing?” Lou asked as he made minute adjustments to a carburetor.
“I signed a book deal and I took Ginna to Chez Louis,” Zach said glumly.
The older man whistled under his breath. “I took Cathy there for our anniversary two years ago. I thought about all the parts I could have bought for what I spent that night. Then I looked at Cathy’s face and I knew it was worth it.” He glanced at Zach. “I guess it wasn’t as memorable for you.”
“I asked Ginna to marry me,” Zach said glumly. “She turned me down.”
Lou looked surprised. “From your face alone, I would have figured she hadn’t said yes. If she had, you wouldn’t be sitting here with your jaw hanging on the ground. She at least give you a reason? Considering the way you two act when you’re together, temporary insanity comes to mind.”