by Polly Carter
Harley’s heart sunk when she saw him. Standing in front of her was everything she could have ever wanted in a man, and once, in the past, he had belonged to her. But she had foolishly turned him away. Even then he had come back, still wanting to marry her. She could have had him again, if she’d only not been so stupid, so careless, so… Misery, anger and frustration clawed at her insides.
“Whew,” Arian whistled as his eyes roamed over her. As he’d said he wasn’t coming on the bike, Harley had worn a dress. Going through her wardrobe, she was shocked as she tried her favourite outfits on only to find they hung like sacks. Arian had said she looked thin, she remembered, but she hadn’t realised just how much weight she’d lost through the stress of the last few months until she put on her favourite tight dress and discovered it was loose, and her bony arms and legs poking out the holes made her look like a stick insect!
Feeling far too frail and vulnerable like that, she added a long-sleeved blouse over the top and borrowed a wide belt from her mother. Lastly, she opted for ankle boots instead of heels to give her feet some chunk and weight. She sighed. That would have to do for now, but she really must start eating more, especially while she still had choices about what and when.
“You look gorgeous, Hal,” Arian said, validating the care she’d taken getting ready, almost spoiling it by adding, “but you still look like you could use a decent feed. Good thing we’re going to dinner.” And before she realised what he was going to do, he hooked his arm around her waist, drew her to him and kissed her gently, almost formally, on the lips. It was not a hard or demanding kiss, but it cut through her all the more keenly for its sweetness and she had to steady herself against him.
“Have a lovely time,” Harriet wished them, appearing from the kitchen and breaking the spell. Harley turned to her in time to catch the look she had given Arian and, although she couldn’t see his face, she was certain something had passed between them. As she was about to speak, she heard a small voice coming down the hall and rushed to the hallway entrance in time to catch Lyddia before she appeared.
“Come on, honey,” she whispered to the little girl, taking her hand and leading her quickly back to her bedroom. “Mum, can you come and give me a hand, please?” she called, and waited for Harriet to join her.
Having handed Lyddia into the care of her grandmother, Harley returned to Arian, waiting at the front door. She ignored his unspoken question and bustled him outside before there were any further unwelcome intrusions.
Arian drove to the restaurant in an uncomfortable silence, and Harley was glad when the drive was over and he pulled up outside a lovely, old late nineteenth century cottage in the country-style peace of Mundaring. Originally a coach-stop, it had been converted to a restaurant nearly one hundred years later without losing any of its colonial charm. Tonight, would not be the first time Arian had brought her here, but it seemed to Harley it could well be the last.
“Remember this place?” Arian asked softly as he switched off the engine and undid his seatbelt. “I didn’t ask you where you’d like to go…”
“This is fine,” Harley answered coldly and crisply without looking at him, steeling herself against the bitter-sweet poignancy of the memories threatening to engulf her.
“Well, then, shall we go?” His own voice had hardened. They were like strangers, but without even the polite cordiality usually shared by strangers. Desperately sad about the past and terrified of the future, at that moment Harley both loved and hated Arian passionately. Only partially because of the cool, early-autumn evening, she shivered as she alighted from the car and followed him down the path between the rose bushes and into the restaurant.
Without turning around, Arian followed a man dressed in black trousers and a crisp, white shirt, with a napkin draped over his arm, as he led them past the bar and neatly set wooden tables to the one reserved for them. Once seated, Arian ordered a bottle of Prosecco from the wine list, and then turned his attention to the menu.
“Would you like to share the vegetarian pizza?” he asked as they both studied the menu. “You still eat pizza, I hope?”
A tiny, weak smile curved Harley’s lips. “I do and I remember they used to do pretty good pizza here. Without cheese, though, if possible.”
“Indeed. Cheeseless pizza it is then.”
Arian ordered their meal and before they were left alone again the wine waiter arrived with the Prosecco and ice-bucket, popped the cork, and poured them both a drink.
“What should we drink to?” Arian asked raising his glass, the weight of his expression belying the lightness of his tone.
Harley miserably shook her head. “Whatever.”
“Whatever? That’s not much of a toast, is it?” he teased her. “How about ‘Prosecco and pizza’?”
“Sure,” she agreed with a small, stray smile and unenthusiastic shrug.
They clinked their glasses and Harley took a large drink.
“So, what did you do today?” Arian asked.
“Not much,” Harley replied, gritting her teeth, clenching her empty fist and taking another long swig of her drink.
“Hey, Hal,” Arian said softly, reaching over to unfurl her hand. “How about trying to relax. Just for tonight. Enjoy yourself.”
“Yeah, right,” she snapped, snatching her hand away as though he’d scalded it. “That’s easy for you to say.” She downed the rest of her Prosecco.
“Thirsty?” he teased her with a grin as he refilled her glass with sparkling wine.
“Yes, as a matter of fact,” she replied, taking a guzzle of her second glass.
“Well, if you won’t tell me about your day, I’ll tell you about mine,” Arian began. “I nearly wasn’t here at all tonight. I was driving to work this morning and there was a guy in the outside lane, and I don’t know if he was drunk or on drugs…” He paused abruptly. Harley shrugged and had another drink. “Sore subject?” Arian asked with a smile.
They were interrupted by the waiter arriving with their steaming, crusty pizza, garlic bread and salad.
“Aha,” Arian said, breathing in the delicious aroma. “Eat up, Hal. There’s not enough meat on your bones.” He separated a slice of the pizza and scooped it onto her plate and passed her the salad. “Dig in. It smells great.” He served himself a piece and took a mouthful. “Tastes great, too.”
Harley cut off a small piece and put it in her mouth, but she felt like a condemned person having a last meal. She put her knife and fork down, struggled to swallow what was in her mouth and took another drink instead.
“Don’t like it?” Arian asked, tucking into his piece with gusto.
“It’s fine. I’m just not hungry.”
“Well, it’s no wonder you’re so thin,” he growled, serving himself another slice. “You really should try and eat. Besides,” he took his attention from his food and grinned at her, “you should probably take advantage of the opportunity of eating some decent food while you have it, don’t you think?”
“How could you be so horrible?” Harley gasped in dismay, unable to believe she’d heard right.
“Me?” he asked with exaggerated surprise. “I’m not the one accused of committing a heinous crime.”
“Doesn’t mean you’re not an arsehole, though, does it?” she retorted bitterly, finishing her drink. “Take me home. Or shall I find my own way home?”
“Neither,” he said sternly putting his hand on her wrist and pressing firmly enough to warn her that she would have to make a scene if she wanted to leave. He refilled her glass. “Okay. It was not a funny joke. I shouldn’t have said it, you’re right. I guess it’s just so surreal, it’s hard to take seriously. But,” he added hastily seeing her about to erupt again. “It is serious. I do get that, Hal. I really do. And it’s why I needed to see you tonight. We have to talk, seriously. But for the moment, how about just trying to pretend everything is normal and we’re just two people having dinner. Not a care in the world.” He tried to smile, but Harley could see in
his eyes how troubled he felt. “So eat your pizza. We aren’t leaving until I’ve seen you eat. Don’t argue, just do as you’re told.” He stared at her, daring her to defy him and, in that moment, they were the Arian and Harley of before: he was the boss and she would do as he said, or find herself over his knee if she didn’t. And they were both skin-pricklingly aware that the other felt it too.
Arian let go of her wrist, wet his lips with a pointed tongue and ran his hand through his hair in that oh-so familiar habit he had when he was feeling agitated. Unable to bear the tension between them, Harley looked down at her plate while he refilled her glass.
“Eat,” he said again. Staring defiantly at him, she picked up her pizza with her fingers and took a large bite that she proceeded to eat noisily.
Turning his head a little so he was looking at her sideways, he grinned and rubbed his hands together. “You’re asking for it, aren’t you, Missy?”
Taking another big swig of her drink and another large bite of her pizza, Harley spoke with her mouth full. “You said eat, didn’t you? Well, that’s what I’m doing.”
“Okay. Well as you have decided to be terrible company, you eat and I’ll talk. I do have some news. I was going to tell you later, but maybe now is better. I caught up with an old mate yesterday, Zain Dessouky. I don’t think you ever met him, did you?”
Harley shook her head.
“He’s a cop. Well, he’s a detective now. I got to know him a little bit before I went to the States. We had a few beers together and saw each other around the traps. He’s a good guy. I like him. Anyway, I gave him a call and told him about you. He looked up the file and gave me the gist of it, including your statement. Good girl,” he added encouragingly noting Harley had finished her piece of pizza. He served another one onto her plate and added a spoonful of salad. “More Prosecco?” he asked, seeing her glass was empty again. “Or do you think you’ve had enough?”
Ignoring the pleasant buzzing effects of the first two glasses, Harley held out her glass for more.
“Well, okay,” Arian said with a grin as he not quite filled her glass. “But don’t think you can get yourself drunk and take advantage of me.”
“Don’t worry. You’re perfectly safe,” Harley muttered squinting her eyes at him, taking a drink from her glass and hoeing into her second piece of pizza.
Arian laughed. “Well, you sure know how to crush a guy’s hopes, don’t you?”
Harley ignored him. He shrugged.
“Anyway, thing is, Hal. I’m not really sure how you got yourself into this mess, but I want you to know I will do everything I can to help you get out of it. I’m not across all the details yet, but we can go through them together.” He reached out to take her hand. “Whatever they are, it doesn’t matter, Hal. I will always be there for you.”
Harley froze and looked up at him. She gulped as her mouthful of pizza threatened to go down the wrong way. Chewing it and swallowing it too quickly so she could speak, she washed the lump down with more wine.
“Excuse me?” she said menacingly and emphatically, her face turning red.
“What?”
“You arsehole!”
“Why? What have I done now, for crying out loud? I’ve just finished telling you I want to help you. How is that so terrible?”
“Whatever they are?” she mimicked him sarcastically. “You mean even if the details show I’m a loathsome–I think that was the word you used the other day–drug dealer, you will nobly come to my aid. Even if I’m guilty as fuck, you’ll swallow your pride. That’s what you’re saying, is it?”
“No, Hal. Stop it. Just stop it. That’s not what I was saying at all.”
She stopped eating and put her pizza down as her head started to spin and her stomach to heave. She’d eaten and drunk too fast and losing her temper was the final straw as far as her body was concerned.
“Had enough?” Arian asked with an unsympathetic grin, noticing her pale.
Harley nodded and kicked him under the table. She wasn’t altogether sure where his shin was and only managed to connect with his well-protected foot.
“Ow! Seriously, Hal? You want to start a physical fight with me? I think you know how that will end up.”
“You can’t touch me. You don’t have the right anymore.”
“Is that a fact?” He grinned at her lazily, and her heart bumped. Damn! Why did he have to be so attractive? How was she supposed to hate him and be angry when he looked at her like that? Suddenly on the verge of tears, she downed the rest of her third glass of Prosecco, picked up her bag and stood up.
“I’m going to the car,” she said carefully and made her way unsteadily to the door, congratulating herself on the foresight to wear flat boots rather than high heels as she stumbled down the path to the car. The autumn evening had cooled, and being in the fresh, crisp air helped calm her stomach and clear her head.
She didn’t have to wait long for Arian to join her after he’d settled the bill and collected the remaining pizza to take home. He unlocked the car and opened her door for her.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine, thank you,” Harley replied dismissively. It was almost true. Her head was still a bit fuzzy, but pleasantly so now. Still, she was glad she hadn’t drunk any more. She wouldn’t have wanted to wind up bent over on the side of the road with him holding her hair out of her face while she brought the pizza back up!
Arian closed her door and went around to the driver’s side. He didn’t immediately do up his seat belt, just turned to look at her, studying her as if trying to read her thoughts, then grinned and shook his head.
“Well, that was interesting. Not quite the dinner date I was expecting,” he finally observed.
“Really?” she snapped defensively. “Well, this evening out wasn’t exactly my idea. In fact, if I remember correctly, and I’m pretty sure I do, even my acceptance wasn’t required.”
“Are you saying you didn’t want to come?” he demanded, watching her closely through narrowed eyes.
She sighed. “Have I been saying anything else to you? Other than there’s no reason to see each other and I don’t want to see you anyway?”
“Then why did you come?” he asked quietly, ignoring the rising anger in her voice.
“Did I have a choice?” she retorted. “I didn’t feel as though I did.”
For a second it looked as though he were going to deny the truth of her words, but then he grinned. “Fair cop,” he admitted. “I wasn’t going to take no for an answer, and I was fairly sure that’s what you would have said if I’d given you the opportunity, so I didn’t.” He ran his hand through his hair again. “Forgive me?”
“Why did you make me come tonight?” she asked turning her eyes from him to stare out through the windscreen. “When you took off on your bike I wasn’t really expecting to ever hear from you again. What changed your mind? I know how you hate drug dealers. You told me, remember?”
He didn’t answer. She turned back and found him studying her, and as if this might be the last time she would see him, her eyes drank in every detail of his handsome and once so beloved face. Finally, steeling herself for what she might find, she forced her eyes up to meet his, and the strength of the jolt that shook her as their eyes met forced the air from her lungs as surely and swiftly as a blow to her stomach.
“Hal,” he whispered urgently reaching out to cover her small hand with his big, powerful one. She was surprised to hear the tremor in his voice as he spoke her name, and for the briefest of seconds she closed her eyes and feeling only the warmth and security of her hand nestled in the safety of his, she allowed herself to dream of things that might have been. If only… But that way madness lay she reminded herself, snapping out of her reverie and opening her eyes once again to her grim reality. Looking back into his eyes, she saw with a shaft of pain that the gentleness had gone from his expression. His face was hard and unyielding and a tic had started at his temple. Wrenching his hand away, he snapp
ed on his seat belt and started the car.
“I can’t do this,” he said, shaking his head as though it hurt.
Chapter 8
“Are you taking me home?” Harley asked, unsettled by his grim determination, but he didn’t answer.
Their destination was no secret for long, though. Minutes later he stopped the car at one of the lookouts scattered throughout the hills area. Below them, the panorama of Perth lights at night stretched as far north and south as the eye could see. Landmarks such as the airport and the city itself were clearly visible among the sprawling fairyland of twinkling lights, but admiring the view was clearly not what was on Arian’s mind as he stopped the car, released both their seat belts and, without warning, turned to Harley and gathered her unceremoniously into his arms.
“Sweet Hal,” he murmured gruffly against her hair. “I need this.” And with a groan of mixed anguish and exultation, his mouth closed over hers. His lips were hard and demanding, forcing her to open her lips wider to allow him entry. Trapped as she was in the front seat of his car, there was no escaping his possession of her. With his mouth still intimately exploring every detail of hers, his hands caressed her arms and shoulders before sliding around to her front. Hal gasped at the shock of pleasure engulfing her as his hands firmly massaged her swollen and aching breasts.
“No, Arian…” she stammered against the insistent pressure of his lips.
“No?” he said, pulling back and looking hard at her.
Bereft at his withdrawal, Harley’s hands fluttered at his chest.