I’m not going to tell her, and I want to throw up. Elani found Waverly because of me. I brought her this pain, and it’s no wonder she wants nothing to do with me now. My fame brought the one person who hurt her most back into her life, and I know she’ll never forgive me. I’m not sure I can forgive myself.
Waverly
I wanted Knox to hold me last night, and this morning, but I feel dirty. He knows about me now. He knows what I was, even if he doesn’t know all the things I did. How can he want me after that? I embarrassed him, and how he knows how fucked up I am.
When the door opens again, I prepare to turn away, but I recognize the cologne. I sob harder as my best friend strides into the room, and pulls me into his arms. “Ken. You’re here.”
“Of course I am.”
I cry for a few more minutes as he holds me tight. “Did you see it on the news?”
“I saw it, yes, but I was already on my way here. Knox called Reina, and said you needed me.”
“I pushed him away all night and day.”
“I know you did, because you tried to push me away when we first met. You were afraid I wouldn’t care, so you didn’t want to let me in. You did it with Knox now, but is that what you really wanted? To push him away?”
“No. I wanted to hold him tight, and never let go.”
“Then why didn’t you? You’re no longer a scared little girl—you are a strong woman, who survived. You said it yourself.”
“You saw what I did. What I said. How could I expect for him to look at me the same way after that?”
“You told him nothing of your past?”
“No.”
“I could lecture you, but we both know I’m not in a position to do that. I kept too much from Matisse for too long.”
“She loves you. Knox said he loves me.”
“He would be stupid to not fall in love with you. Any man would.”
“What am I going to do?”
“Have you told him you love him back?”
“What if I don’t?”
“You do.”
“Yes. And yes, I told him. Right before that all happened.”
“So what you’re going to do is tell him everything else. All of it. He deserves to know it all if you’re going to be with him.”
“What if he doesn’t want me?” I may be strong, but I still hurt.
“From what I could tell, he sat outside this room for over a day. He was looking pretty rough.”
“He did. I think he was checking to make sure I didn’t hurt myself.”
“That right there should answer your question about him wanting you.”
“I should probably go talk to him now.”
“He’s with Isa, but when they get back, yes.”
“Isa? She’s here?”
“Yes, and so is Matisse. Isa was going to have Knox take her to your mother. Matisse is probably getting herself into some kind of trouble downstairs.”
“Is Isa going to kill her?” I don’t know how I’d feel about it if she did.
“Not unless she has to.”
I nod, not sure if I’m relieved or upset about that. “Matisse is probably hanging out with Cohen, which means there’s definitely some trouble happening.”
“Cohen is a man?” he asks, stiffening.
“Yes,” I say with a smirk. “A very handsome man.” I can’t resist goading him now that I feel a little better.
“I will kill him, slowly, if he tries to touch her.”
“You don’t trust her to do that herself?”
“I do,” he says with a laugh. “Thanks for reminding me, though.”
“Thank you for flying across the world to talk some sense into me.”
“I also came to make sure you’re okay after seeing her.”
“I’m not necessarily okay, but yelling at her made me feel a little better. Like there’s closure, you know? I haven’t thought of her as my mother for so long that I didn’t realize I needed to see her. I needed to say those things to her, and show her that despite what she did, I survived.” There’s that word again. The word that when said, has the power to give hope.
“I’m so proud of you.”
“I’m proud of me, too.”
For that at least. How I’ve behaved since then, especially where Knox is concerned, is a different matter.
“Now that you’re back among the living, you should probably take a shower.”
“And eat.”
“Yes, as your doctor, I insist you eat a good meal. I know just the place to take everyone once they’re back.”
He tells me what he has in mind, and I agree that it’s perfect. With one more hug, he’s out the door to track down Matisse, and I’m heading for the shower. Talking to Knox isn’t going to be easy, but I’m ready to do it. I should’ve done it sooner, but better late than never, right?
I have to stifle a scream when I walk out of my bathroom, because I’m not expecting Matisse to be lounging on my bed. “Jesus, Teesy! A little warning next time would be good.”
“What fun would that be?”
“I’m sure you had plenty of fun with Ken and Coh downstairs.”
“They’re fine. Talking about cliff diving, in fact.”
“Ah yes, adrenaline junkies unite.”
“Exactly.”
“Thanks for coming here.”
“You’re welcome. I hear we’re going somewhere special for dinner, so I picked out a dress for you.”
She motions to the other side of the bed where one of the sexiest dresses Stella picked for me is lying. It’s deep blue and tight with ruching to my calves and a neckline that’s meant to be pushed off my shoulders so plenty of cleavage is on display.
“It’s too much. I can’t wear that.”
Stella and Kevin said I looked smoking hot in it, and the ruching does wonders when it comes to hiding things, but I wasn’t comfortable in it when I tried it on. It screams “sex” and while I’m finally having it now, I don’t know if I can project that to the world.
“It’s not too much. It’s an apology.”
“Apology?”
She looks exasperated as she sits up and starts ticking things off on her fingers. “You didn’t tell Knox about your past. You had a meltdown, and then pushed him away. You made him so worried that he still sat outside your room all night, checking on you, even though you wouldn’t allow him to comfort you. You didn’t thank him for calling Reina to bring Doc here. Shall I go on?”
“I haven’t seen him to thank him. As for the rest, I plan on apologizing.”
“That dress will help.”
“Not if I feel uncomfortable.”
“You felt uncomfortable when you tried it on for Stella?”
“Yes.”
“Hmm. Have you tried it on again since you’ve been getting sexed up by the hot swimmer?”
“What? How did you know?”
“I didn’t. It was a guess. A correct guess because I’m just that good. Now put on the damn dress so I can salivate over your hot curves.”
I laugh, thinking about how we always want what we don’t have. Aside from not being athletic, Matisse is the type of girl Knox is usually seen with. Or at least the type he used to be seen with. I’ll admit I’ve envied her tiny waist before, although I do like my full breasts. Clothes would be easier if I looked like her, but then I wouldn’t be me. Besides, I have Stella on speed dial if I need an outfit. I trust her to help me look good.
Matisse is right. When I slide the dress on over the scraps of lace she threw at me, I’m not self-conscious. I look in the mirror, and imagine Knox’s hands on me. Pulling the top down to get to my breasts, and pushing the bottom up to get to my vagina, or pussy, as he prefers to call it. I can feel his hands caressing me, and I feel powerful and sexy.
“I was right, wasn’t I?” she asks, walking up behind me in a dress I didn’t even know she had with her in my room.
“Yes, you were,” I tell her with a smile.
; “That smile on your face is telling me your guy knows what he’s doing.”
“He does,” I admit, but that’s all I’m telling her.
“Did you tell Ken you had your cherry popped?”
“No.”
“Thank God. I want to be there when he figures it out. It’s going to be epic.”
“He’s been telling me I’m missing out for years.”
“Yeah, but he didn’t get to have the ‘dad’ talk with Knox before he brought his dick out to play.”
“Ken isn’t my dad.”
“He’s your dad, brother, favorite uncle, and bestie all rolled into one.”
“Yeah, he is. He used to be my everything else as well, but now I have all of you girls.”
“And Knox.”
“Yes. Well, maybe. I don’t know how things are with us right now.”
“Well, let’s get you downstairs so Ken can figure things out and get all growly. I love it when he gets growly because it means he’ll be rough with me.”
“TMI Matisse,” I tell her, but she just shrugs as I follow her out the door.
14
Knox
“I think I’m going to pass on dinner, but thanks for the invite,” I tell Kendrick. I don’t think I could handle seeing Waverly enjoy her friends while ignoring me. Even if I deserve it.
“Please,” the woman in question says, walking down the stairs in a dress guaranteed to make men’s hearts stop. Mine stops and starts back up again, because she wants me there with her. “We want to take everyone somewhere special.”
Everyone. Of course. She just wants us all there. My pride is mortally wounded, so I strike out. “I didn’t sleep last night, and I have training in the morning. Maybe another time.”
She runs down the last few stairs, and comes to stand in front of me. “I’m sorry. I know you’re tired, but you have to eat. Come out with us.”
“If he doesn’t want to go with us, we’re not going to force him, Wave,” Kendrick says, and I can feel his glare even though I haven’t taken my eyes from the woman in front of me.
“Stay out of it, Doc,” Matisse tells him. “It’s time to let your little girl use her wings and fly.”
“I’ll go,” I say, because we only have a few nights left, and I’m interested to see where they want to take us. It has nothing to do with Waverly looking at me like she’s breaking. Nothing at all.
I dress quickly in a button-down shirt, and dress pants, and meet them all outside in the driveway. They’re trying to figure out the driving situation, so I make it easy on them. “I can drive Cohen, and the rest of you should fit in your Range Rover.”
“I thought you’d want to ride with Waverly,” my friend, the traitor, says.
“She hasn’t seen her friends in weeks. They should catch up.”
“I’d like to ride with you. I’ll sit in the backseat,” Waverly says.
She probably just wants to tell me it’s over. I already know that, so what’s the harm in letting her say what she needs to say?
“Whatever,” I say with a shrug.
She looks like she’s going to cry, and it cracks my heart in two. Why is she looking at me like that when I caused her pain? She made it clear she didn’t want me around her, but she’s upset because I didn’t want to ride with her? I don’t know what to think anymore.
I get in the car, and wait for her and Cohen to do the same. I know he’ll open her door for her, so I don’t feel bad about getting in first. Sure enough, I hear the back door open and close, but the front one doesn’t open. What the hell is he doing out there? It’s not until I hear the other car leave that I look around and don’t see him.
“He went with them,” Waverly says from the backseat. I meet her eyes in the rearview mirror and see the tears she’s still trying to hold back.
“Fuck,” I say, slamming my hand onto the wheel.
“I’ll get out. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Knox.”
I get out before she can, open her door, and then hold the passenger door open for her. “You can sit up front.”
“Are you sure?”
No, I’m not sure about anything right now. “Yeah.”
She gets in the front, and so do I. She tells me the name of the restaurant we’re going to, and I plug it into my GPS. Once we’re on the road, she speaks again.
“Can we talk tonight when we get back? On the daybed, maybe?”
“Do we have anything to talk about?”
“I want to tell you everything about my past if you’re willing to listen.”
I hit the wheel again, and she flinches. “I know it’s my fault, okay? If it wasn’t for me, your…that woman…she wouldn’t have known you were here. She wouldn’t have tried to ambush you.”
“You think it’s your fault?” she asks, reaching out to touch my knee.
“It is my fault. Isa found out she saw pictures of us, and recognized you somehow. Maybe you look like she did when she was younger. I don’t know, but that’s how she knew. She invited me to the gala on purpose.”
“I look like a combination of both my parents, and I’m glad she found me. I never thought I’d get to tell her how I feel about what she did, and how much it hurt me. Now she knows.”
“You don’t blame me?” I ask, when we pull into a parking spot close to the restaurant.
“Not at all, Knox.”
“You pushed me away.”
“Because I was ashamed of my past. I didn’t think you could want someone like me.”
“And I didn’t think you wanted me because I took you there where you saw her.”
“I think we were both wrong.”
“Thank God. I want to kiss you. Can I kiss you?”
“If you don’t, I might not make it through dinner without climbing on your lap.”
“As much as I’d love that, I have a feeling Kendrick wouldn’t.”
“He’s protected me for most of my life, but he wants me to be happy. You make me happy, Knox.”
I kiss her then, giving her all my fears, along with all of my love. She kisses me back just as fiercely, and we’re both breathing hard when we finally break apart. “I can’t wait to peel you out of this dress later.”
“I was hoping you’d like it.”
“Like? That word doesn’t even come close to what I feel about this sinful thing. Every man in that restaurant is going to be wishing he was me.”
“So you think I’ll have some options, then?” I ask as he helps me out of the car.
“No. You’re looking at the only option for you.”
“Lucky me.”
I kiss her again, because how can I not. When some guys walking by whistle, she buries her face in my chest as we both laugh. “We better get inside.”
“I suppose,” she says, taking the hand I offer her.
As we walk up to Gold, the restaurant we’re eating at, I notice the mannequins wearing traditional African outfits. “We’re having African food?”
“We are indeed.”
“Cool.” I’ve liked all the seafood we’ve been eating, but we haven’t gone too far off the Western path as far as food is concerned. Walking inside, we’re met by a hostess who leads us to where everyone else is already waiting.
“Looks like you two made up,” Cohen says.
“We had a misunderstanding or two, but we’re good,” I tell him, sending him a look that lets him know to drop it.
Before anyone else can comment, we’re led to a drum circle. Waverly speaks to the woman in Afrikaans, and then nods to me and Cohen. Kendrick says something, and Isa laughs, shaking her head, and telling them something else. The woman nods, and gestures for Cohen, Matisse and I to step forward.
Once we’re close, she motions to the extra drums. I’m not musical at all, but when I look to Waverly, and she smiles, I sit my ass down on the little stool. If I can swim in the Olympics, I can sure as hell beat on some drums to please my girlfriend.
After the three of use make utter fools of ourselv
es, which was documented by the other three to their extreme enjoyment, we go into a courtyard and perform a ceremonial hand washing. We’re then led to our table, which is covered in vibrant cups and plates. The chairs are draped in traditional African fabrics, and I’m already in love with this place before a singer comes over and blows my mind.
“Wow,” Cohen says out loud, echoing my thoughts.
“Seriously. This is so cool. And who knew Isa could speak Afrikaans?” I ask.
“Waverly and I did,” Kendrick tells me.
“I speak almost as many languages as Reina,” Isa says with a smile.
“She’s a certified genius,” Matisse adds. “Like, really, there’s a certificate and everything.”
“Well, I’m impressed. With all of this so far. But, are we going to get menus?”
“No. We will be having a 14-course meal filled with food from different African countries,” Waverly tells me. “While we eat, there will be singing and dancing, too.”
“How am I ever supposed to top this date?” I ask, only half-joking.
“I’m sure you’ll think of something,” she tells me with a wink.
“And there we go,” Matisse says with a smirk.
I don’t get what she means until Kendrick speaks. “Something you forgot to tell me, Wave?”
“Nothing at all, Ken,” she replies with a smirk of her own.
It takes me a moment, but then I get it. He just figured out we’re sleeping together, and being her best friend, he knows I’m her first. “I took care of her. I promise.”
“Yes, you did, and that’s all we’re saying,” she tells everyone else at the table.
Waverly
“That was amazing. Thank you for bringing us here,” Knox says when we all walk out of the restaurant together.
It was honestly one of the best nights of my life. The food, the friends, Knox being pulled from his seat and dancing with the performers…it was all pretty close to perfect. Now, it’s time for us to go back to the house and talk about things I kept inside of me for years. This will be the second time recently I’ve told anyone about what happened to me. The first time was to get a job, but this time I’m telling the man I love, which means it’s much more important.
Waverly (Socierty Girls #4) Page 11