“I’ll get the stuff to make the sofa up.”
“I’ll take the sofa, mate.” Callum spoke so quietly I almost missed it. I’m about to argue when Donna puts her hand over my mouth.
“No you don’t.”
She doesn’t let me out of the seat whilst the boys get everything sorted. In fact, she makes me finish the glass of wine, but I’m able to stop her from pouring the rest of the bottle down my neck. I can see that she’s itching to have a good rant, but biting her tongue whilst I’m this upset. It’ll come though, no doubt about that.
She leads me upstairs and gives me a long hug before she lets me shut the bedroom door. I’m fairly certain she would have kissed me on the forehead in the same way that she does with the kids except that she can’t reach me. The world has definitely gone a few shades of fuzzy now. I undress and pretty much fall into bed and wrap myself up tightly in the duvet. It’s pure luxury after days of sleeping on a mattress on the floor. There’s something, something that’s trying to get through the wine-fog and into my brain. I think it’s a scent, but everything is so muzzy. All I know is that I feel safer and more comforted than I have in a long time.
Chapter Ten
I wake up to someone knocking on the door. It has to be an adult; the boys would be bouncing on the bed by now if they’d wanted to come in. My brain still feels a little fluffy with sleep, so I have no idea which adult it is. I pull the duvet up a little further and mumble, “Come in.”
It’s Donna, she’s got a mug of hot tea in one hand and a stack of clothes tucked under her other arm. I realise that they’re the clothes I’d left here for occasions such as this.
“Was there a problem with where I left those? I thought they were okay in that drawer?”
I have no idea what to make of the little grin on Donna’s face.
“No, no problem. I just, erm, put them through the wash for you.”
I’m confused; they were clean when I left them. Whatever she’s up to, she’s enjoying herself, but I have no energy for her game.
“I thought I’d come and wake you up gently before the hellions descend. I’m doing a full English, so enjoy your brew, then shape yourself and get downstairs.”
I’m not hung over. I’ve slept long enough and well enough to avoid one, but the thought of all that greasy food is not appealing.
“Donna, it’s okay, I’m really not hungry.”
“Rebecca Howarth you will be quiet and listen to me.” This is the tone she uses with the boys when they’re being naughty. It always has the desired effect on adults and children alike. I shut up. “You look like microwaved shit. You obviously haven’t eaten properly for a while and you’ve been sitting on a bucket full of crap without calling us and telling us about it.”
I’m not going to let that lie. “How could I Donna? Why would I call? After everything that’s happened?”
“Because we’re your friends Becca. Really and truly we are. We wouldn’t do anything to hurt you and you need to trust that.”
“I don’t know what to trust anymore. Nothing’s like I thought it was. Rob, Callum, you and Michael. I haven’t been this scared in years.”
“Yes, you’re in a shitty spot. So here’s what you’re going to do. First thing, drink your brew. Second, have a shower. Third, come downstairs and bloody well eat something, and I do not mean half a slice of toast. You will eat something proper. Then you’re going to come to the park with us and the boys. Some fresh air will do you good and, if you behave, I’ll get you a hot chocolate with marshmallows.”
“Yes mum.” Donna’s not that much older than me, but she has the ability to make me feel like a sulky teenager when she wants to.
“Damn right. And you’re going to get to know Callum. You’ve no reason not to, and you need to. Callum’s going to make a bid to take the pack back, Becca. He’s not going to leave Daniel in charge and walk away. He wants to be Alpha again. To do that, he needs us with him. He needs you on his side. This isn’t just pack political bollocks, Becca. You need an Alpha you can trust again, and Callum needs good people at his back, people he can trust.”
“What about Bryn and Daniel?”
“Callum will take care of Bryn, Becca; and you know how the Alpha thing works. You know what Daniel’s like. You know what’s going to have to happen for Callum to become Alpha again.”
The element of the insane has returned to my life. I’m sat up in bed, sipping a steaming hot cup of tea, calmly discussing the fact that two people are essentially going to be murdered. The man that’s going to do it is downstairs, probably playing with my best friends’ children. I’m not as disturbed by this as I probably should be. I’m not sure what I want for the pack at the moment, I’m not sure how much I care about the rest of them, but I don’t want to stay if it means being around Bryn and Daniel still being charge.
“I could leave. There’s a few jobs that’ve come up in Cumbria.”
Donna’s quiet for awhile. “Yes. Yes, you could, but before you think any more about that I want you to do as I’ve told you. Drink, shower, eat, come out. Get a feel for what it could be like with Callum around, then tell me if you still want to leave.”
“Will it do me any good to argue?”
“You know it won’t.”
“Okay, whatever, fine. As you say.”
“Good girl. See you in a bit.”
Donna leaves in a happy enough mood now that she has my capitulation. As I finish my tea, I think about what it would be like to integrate with a new pack. I wouldn’t have any friends like Donna and Michael to help me, I wouldn’t know anyone. Given my track record recently, that could be disastrous.
Callum’s explanations of what happened make irresistible sense, and I’m beginning to see that Donna and Michael were between a rock and hard place. I’ll give them today. I don’t think I can hold anything against them, and at the end of it all, I could really use a couple of friends right now.
I shower and dress and make my way downstairs. Everyone is waiting at the table whilst Donna serves up the food: bacon, sausage, beans, fried eggs, black pudding, grilled tomatoes and mushrooms. There’s a plate heaped with buttered toast in the centre of the table and three pots of jam lurking between the mugs and glasses, the pots of tea and coffee and the jug of orange juice. Donna doesn’t always go to this much trouble for breakfast, but when she goes all out, she does it in style.
She’s placed herself and Michael at either end of the table, with the boys on one side and Callum and me on the other. Jacob and Jonathan are full of talk of the park. They want to walk along the canal and go on the stepping stones across the river too. I haven’t got any wellies here. I hope Donna isn’t thinking that Aunty Becca will be fishing them out if they fall in.
We’re soon digging into what can only bed described as an obscene amount of food. It takes me a couple of mouthfuls to decide I’ll persevere, but once I do, I re-discover my appetite with a vengeance. The boys are now angling for a visit to a pet shop. Donna is trying to gently put the brakes on it. It’s not that she’s worried about eating a couple of rabbits when she gets peckish; more that she knows she’ll get lumbered with all the cleaning and feeding. We might be werewolves but we do have some control! I’m trying not to give into the urge to help the boys make a case for small, fluffy animals and decide to try and steer them towards fish. I’m not sure that makes Donna any happier. Michael and Callum are talking football, of course. This all feels cosy and familiar. I try not to keep glancing at Callum, but I can feel him, a warm aura, at my side.
There isn’t a scrap of food left by the time we’re done and I’ve amazed myself with the fact that I’ve eaten so much and more so, that it seems to be staying down. I start helping Donna clear the plates and everything else. The boys scream something about Star Wars and suddenly they’re gone. Muffled thumps announce that they’ve raced up to their room and some larger thumps from above seem to indicate that they’re staying there.
“Hey lass.” Callu
m takes the rubber gloves from Donna as she starts preparing to wash the dishes. “You’ve cooked. Becca and me can handle this. You get yourself and Mikey a brew and go and have five minutes peace.”
“I’m not going to argue with that.” Donna gladly hands over the gloves and sets about sorting out a couple of hot drinks.
“Yellow really isn’t your colour.” I tug the gloves out of Callum’s hand. “I’ll wash, you dry.”
He shrugs. “Fair enough.”
We’re silent for a long while whilst we make some headway into the small mountain of dirty crockery and pans. It’s not uncomfortable, there just isn’t anything to say at the moment, and there’s no intense need to fill the quiet with chatter. The atmosphere feels relaxed and comfortable, very easy.
The quiet calm gives way to an absolute whirlwind when it comes to getting the boys kitted out for the trip out. There are coats and hats to put on and their wellies have to be found. They’ve decided they want to take their toy light sabres, which almost results in tears when Donna puts her foot down. Michael’s staying behind as he’ll be heading to work soon. Since Donna is driving and I’m the next smallest person, I get the short straw of being squashed between the two car seats in the back of Donna’s car. Thankfully it’s only a short drive to the other side of the next village where the larger park is. We could walk it, but the twins would be exhausted by the time they got there.
We can barely get their little wiggling selves unfastened from the car seats before the two hyperactive terrors are off and running towards the climbing frame. They go on everything at least three times. I cop for roundabout spinning duty, and help Donna with the swing pushing. Callum bravely volunteers to make sure the boys get across the stepping stones and back. It’s not easy, the river is high from recent rain and the stones are slippery, as are the steps down to them from the bank where the park is. I’m impressed by his ability to keep his balance; I’m sure I’d have fallen in. Jacob and Jonathan soon have cheeks and noses that are thoroughly glowing from running around in the crisp autumn chill, so we head to a café for the promised hot chocolate and marshmallows.
Callum is in the middle of telling us a story about some mischief he got up to once as a kid; it’s entertaining Jacob and Jonathan no end and giving them a few bad ideas. I realise before I even know it that I’m laughing right along with them. It feels like I haven’t even cracked a smile in over a month, let alone laughed so hard that my eyes are watering. I realise that Donna was right, I do feel better. Damn, she is going to be so smug when I thank her.
Donna was right about Callum too, I can tell he’s a good Alpha. There’s going to be no shutting her up when I tell her that I’m not going to leave, that I want to stay. There’s a lot of the pack that have done nothing to harm me, they’ve been ignorant in all of this and it isn’t fair to place any of the blame on them. It’s also not fair to keep them from experiencing what a healthy pack could be like. I never knew what we were missing; this has been the only pack I have ever known. I thought what we had was good, but being around Callum with Michael, Donna and the boys, I can feel what it is that we’ve been lacking, that true element of family. There are many people that deserve to feel that too. Okay a couple, not so much, but we’ll deal with them. I’m in; I want to help make the pack whole and healthy again.
Chapter Eleven
When I was inside I used tae fret, in the wee hours o’ the night, that I’d struggle tae adapt when I got out. I wondered if my time resisting the moon had made me crazier than I knew. I thought about the pack and how I’d fit in tae it again. At the time, I knew I’d be getting out tae Daniel being Alpha, but with Bryn dead; and I had every intention o’ simply moving on.
When I found out that wasnae the case, I found a focus, something that kept me grounded. I wanted my pack back. I wanted tae lead them. I wanted tae punish the people who’d betrayed them. I couldnae abandon them, any o’ them, especially the ones I’ve called ‘friend’ for so long.
I’ve been surprised by maself. I’m no’ the rabid dog I feared I would be. I feel as sane in my own mind as I ever did, both as man and wolf. Or at least, I did until Friday night. Donna told me the lass was thinkin’ of upping sticks and leavin’. After the past couple o’ days I cannae let that happen. She told me later that Becca had changed her mind, but I’m no’ willin’ tae take a risk. I cannae let her go. There’s a need in me tae convince her tae stay.
I cannae fault her desire tae run. The woman I saw that night had been broken and betrayed. She had no one, outside o’ pack or in it, or didnae think she did. The truth was the only salve for her wounds. The woman I saw the next morning was beginnin’ tae heal. Just bein’ in the heart o’ a family made such a difference tae her. The power o’ the pack never ceases tae amaze me. Without its pack, a wolf is a deadened and lonely thing. Seein’ those silent tears, shed without hysterics, was like a twisting knife in me. It healed me tae see her soul at ease the next day, tae see her smile and hear her laugh. I’m minded tae make sure that I never see her cry like that again. Even though she was in far better spirits by the time she left, I didnae want tae see her go.
I didnae even think on it, until I tried tae get tae sleep last night, that she had been in the bed. The scent o’ her was everywhere, and there was no gettin’ away from it. Disturbin’ is no’ the word. I was solid all night, so hard it was uncomfortable, and there wasnae a thing I could do about it in a house with two bairns and their parents with supernatural hearing abilities. I didnae get much sleep last night.
Some folk might recommend giving the lass some space, she’s had a rough time o’ it recently and she needs tae find her feet; but I’ve no intention of listenin’ tae such advice. I can paint it that I’m bringin’ the strength o’ a pack tae her, but that would no’ be the whole truth. The truth is, I simply doona want tae stay away.
Donna’s goin’ tae do herself a damage with smugness if she carries on as she is. She’s grinnin’ more than the Cheshire Cat. It was a touch too much when I said I needed tae ask a favour and she just handed me her car keys. And I know for a fact that psychic ability does no’ come as part o’ the werewolf package.
We’re a full three weeks away from the full moon, and I’m no’ goin’ tae wait any longer tae see the lass. I’ve given her the morning, but that’s as far as my patience will hold. So here I find myself, at the door o’ the address Donna gave me, waitin’ for the young lass tae answer the intercom and feelin’ like I’m nigh on fifteen again.
“Hello?” I hate these things, they’re never without static.
“Becca, it’s Callum.” There’s a pause so long I think she’s goin’ tae ignore me, but then she speaks again.
“Flat number eight. Down the steps on your right, along the corridor. I’ll meet you.”
There’s a buzzing that lets me know she’s unlocked the door. I follow her directions and I see why she’s waitin’ tae meet me. Whoever designed the refittin’ o’ this place had obviously sniffed a few lines. It looks a little like an Escher sketch inside, doors and staircases thrown around like confetti
I take a long look as I make my way tae the door she’s holdin’ open. She looks like the young lass that she is. I’ve easy got twenty years on her. She’s no one for botherin’ with makeup whilst she’s sat around the house, and I’m glad o’ that. Dressed in leggings and a jumper with her hair down like that, she’d even pass for school age. I feel for a moment like a dirty auld fella, at least until she smiles, then I doona care.
“Come in.” She holds the door for me and waves me up the staircase behind it. It’s a bloody odd arrangement, but when I get tae the top I see why. This flat is at the back o’ the building and runs the width o’ it. I cannae help but head straight for the massive windows tae admire the view.
“Would you like a brew?”
She’s almost laughin’ at me when I turn around. “Aye, that’d be lovely. Did Donna call you?”
“No. Should she have?”
“N
o, you just doona seem surprised tae see me.”
Apparently a shrug is the only answer I’m gettin’. I take a quick look around, but there’s no’ much tae take in about the place itself. It feels like a space that has no’ been lived in long, might be something tae do with the bin sacks and boxes all over the place. We’re in what must be the main living room, one corner is the kitchen, with a row of units and worktop comin’ out intae the room tae give it the look o’ being separate from the rest o’ the space.
“You like the view?”
“Aye lass, what’s no’ to like.” It’s a bright day; the kind where the sky is a perfect, even blue. The sunlight’s painted the moors in all their glory. The patch work o’ the old fields cut by the broken down dry stone walls is all greens and golds. There are still some lingering patches o’ purple heather. The ranges o’ the lower Pennines are tipped with black peat and bleak, grey crags. It’s the sort of day when your nose tells you the seasons are changin’ before your eyes do. This window looks straight over the valley tae Alphin, a wolf couldnae ask for better.
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