His heart skipped, helpless as he combed over the expanse of her. To see her naked was to fall deeper under her spell.
She turned over to her stomach, then pulled her red, swollen lips into a natural smile.
Lifting her face to his nose, she placed a kiss on the tip. “Aren’t you glad it rained today?”
“I’m thanking my stars this very moment.” Alex traced a path over her cheek, wanting to feel her more, touch her more.
His gut was reacting to her in a way that was confusing.
The shiver in his stomach made him crook his eyebrows. Butterflies in the stomach was right up there with true love and soul mates—naïve romanticisms he didn’t believe in.
He hadn’t planned on any of this happening. This was supposed to have been a face-meltingly hot, slightly frustrating summer afternoon spent interacting with voters, but it had become something else altogether.
It had turned into heaven.
Although he’d never considered getting intimate with Kat, now that it had happened, he couldn’t say he regretted it.
“What are you thinking?” Kat rubbed the heel of her hand over his jaw.
Burying his hands in her hair, he said, “Nothing.”
“Nothing? My brain is overloading with thoughts.” She leaned into his chest. “I want to see you again, Alex. I want to do this again.”
So did he, to his surprise, although there were fifty thousand reasons why getting involved with her any further would be a mistake. The age difference between them. The elections. Her being a reporter.
With only three months until the primaries, a lot was at stake. There was no room for any more missteps. Or distractions.
But Alex had never been the type of man who could sleep with a woman and end it at that. With his lingering trust issues, he wasn’t really capable of one-night stands. He’d been abandoned so many times, he wouldn’t ever want to do that to someone else.
To have trusted Kat enough to let her touch his tattoos, his scars, his fractured past already meant his feelings for her ran deeper than he was comfortable accepting.
His body contained all the evidence of a childhood gone wrong. It wasn’t something he’d let a casual stranger see, let alone touch and explore.
She could destroy him anytime if she chose to. She could burn his dreams and leave him incapable of a future in politics. And he still wasn’t scared.
“How old are you?” The sense of security and safety he felt when she lingered over his neck with her moist lips the way she was doing now shouldn’t exist.
“Thirty-two.” Unfazed by the number, Kat wrapped her arm around the front of his chest. “Alex, it doesn’t matter to me, but if you—”
“I have to think about this. I’ve never been with a woman so much younger than me.”
While he had no moral objections against having relations with younger women, he had serious reservations about carrying on a clandestine affair with a member of the press. He disapproved of politicians getting involved with anybody in the press, because in some way, it undermined democracy. How could she report objectively on someone she was sleeping with?
“Alex, I’m a person, not an age group,” Kat asserted, digging her round ass deeper into the side of his thigh. “Don’t judge me by my age.”
“But you’re still a reporter.” His voice sharpened.
She ejected a pained sigh. “Tell me you don’t actually believe that I’d sleep with you for a scoop.”
The enraged—and slightly hurt—expression she wore made it clear that she didn’t like her integrity being doubted.
“I didn’t imply—”
The guilt must’ve escaped from the pores on his face, for she clicked her tongue.
Moving away, she slipped her tank top over her head, drew her shorts over her slender limbs and shot him an irascible look.
“I have more self-respect than you think.” Zipping her lips, she tried to swallow her words, until she couldn’t anymore. “I’ve worked my ass off to gain this level of respect and credibility in my job. Do you think I want to lose it by doing something as obviously risky as sleeping with my news assignment? If what happened today ever makes it out of here, I’d be in serious trouble. People will criticize me and accuse me of being dishonest. But you? Nobody would care for your affair with an insignificant reporter.”
Yes, compared to her, Alex wouldn’t lose that much.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to doubt you.” Sandwiching her palm between his, he softened her with one of the sympathetic expressions he used with the public.
The trick to keeping people happy, he’d learnt, was to pretend to empathize.
She made an effort to shrug off the redness pervading her skin, but it was useless. “I know you’re sensitive after the video, but I’d never betray anything about you. It’s not in my best interests to do so, after I defended you in front of the whole world.”
Her back hesitantly hovered over the edge of the mattress, then she fell back onto the bed.
“It’s just… I don’t know how you’d do your job if you get involved with me,” Alex said.
“I’ll keep doing my job like I’ve been doing it all this time. Us being together changes nothing. I’m still going to write what needs to be written.” Kat spoke animatedly, like she really meant what she was saying.
Her reassurance eased some of his concerns over dating a reporter. If she was going to continue to work as she’d been working, there was no problem, right?
He combed his hand through her hair. Sparks of static crackled against his skin. “We’ll have to keep this a secret then.”
“This and anything that happens after this,” she agreed, passing him a difficult-to-read look.
That she was willing to risk her professional reputation for the chance of something more with him struck Alex as impulsive. But it also meant that she trusted him and she was going to hold onto him instead of letting go. That was a heartening thought.
“Deal,” he murmured into her ear, feeling sure of himself.
A short-lived affair with a journalist wasn’t going to kill him. As long as it remained short.
“You have to hear this,” Bella said on Saturday, spooning some salad onto her plate from the spread at the center of the dining table that had been prepared by Ashley’s personal chef.
Sometimes, it was still unbelievable how much Ashley’s life had changed since she’d gotten back together with her ex-husband Andrew, who also happened to be one of the richest men in New York.
“Bryan got engaged to Nicole. They’re getting married next year.”
Ashley hissed at the mention of Bella’s ex. “So?”
“So?” Bella’s fork hit her plate. “Isn’t that shocking? Can you believe that he’s settling down? He’s not the settling-down type.”
Seated across the table, Kat could almost hear the dialogue in Bella’s head. Bella’s head was the last place anybody would want to be in right now.
“Well…” Ashley tucked back a bunch of her hair, then hesitated some more. “Bryan’s Bryan. I bet they’ll call the wedding off.”
“Of course they will. It’s a foregone conclusion.” Bella raised one hand and flicked it back in the air in a dismissive gesture.
Kat could recognize her dismissal for what it was. Bella had survived her break-up by blaming Bryan for everything. He was an unfaithful commitment-phobe and she had been a victim of his ways. That was the story Bella told herself.
If he ended up committing to a woman now, the foundation of Bella’s theory would crumble. That had to be unsettling to Bella, who lived on theories.
Of the three of them, she had the greatest need for a romantic relationship, for a man who would cherish her and heal her past hurts. She’d admitted that to Kat one night when they’d been watching A Walk to Remember. But Kat wasn’t sure anyone could heal Bella’s past hurts—unless he was her therapist.
“So, how’s everyone’s work life lately?” Kat deliberately moved away from the landmin
e subject of Bella’s ex.
“My boss wants to promote me.” Ashley dipped her tongue into her wineglass and wiped a red drop at the rim. “I declined her offer.”
“Wait. I thought you wanted a promotion.” Bella stopped chewing. “You spent the whole of last year complaining about the lack of progress at work.”
“Exactly,” Kat echoed.
For years, Ashley had made the classic excuse of being too busy with her career to think about other things, but after getting back together with Andrew, she hardly ever talked about her accomplishments or her ongoing projects, even though she’d edited two New York Times-bestselling books this year.
“Not anymore. Andrew and I want to start a family.” Ashley had been saying the same thing for months. “So I’m not signing up for any more responsibility at work right now.”
“You can have both a promotion and a child. They’re not mutually exclusive. You should lean in, not lean out, at a time like this,” Kat said, referring to Sheryl Sandberg’s book. Ashley, Bella and she were part of the Lean In NYC circle and she’d have expected Ashley to follow some of what was said in that book.
“I’m leaning in.” Getting up, Ashley made a show of straightening the already immaculate flower arrangement at the center of the table. “But I want to lean in a little less. After sorting out my priorities, I realized that I’m happy with the way things are currently. I really don’t need that promotion.”
“But—”
Bella shook her head at Kat, a signal that she should let this go.
“Of course. It’s great that you want to stay where you are. I just thought you wanted something different.”
Kat prayed her disappointment wasn’t audible. She couldn’t do anything about it. In her mind it was just wrong for someone to sacrifice their hopes and dreams for the sake of a man.
Especially when that said man was expanding his company into three new territories this year. Didn’t Andrew have to make any sacrifices for the sake of their future family? Why was Ashley the only one pulling back?
Ashley sat back down and smiled, obviously convinced. “I thought I wanted something different, too. But I don’t.”
Bella cut into her cauliflower steak to interrupt. “Did I tell you that I’m going to a symposium in LA for the summer?”
“LA,” Kat repeated. “Isn’t that where your mother lives now?”
Not to mention Bryan.
“Don’t remind me of her.” Bella’s reply was less angry than she’d expected. Maybe Bella had finally come to grips with her mother’s shortcomings. “She called me again. She’s not called in years.”
Or maybe not.
“Let me guess. She wants you to pay for something.” Ashley touched her temple with her manicured fingernails.
“That’s obvious. She has only one daughter who’s financially stable.” Bitter, Bella poured herself some wine, knowing that she had to drive back.
Being from a loving home, Kat often felt awful for the way Bella had been deprived of an equally good childhood. Sometimes, she wished Bella was her sister instead of her friend.
Having to live with an alcoholic mother who drifted from boyfriend to boyfriend might’ve toughened Bella up, but it had also made it impossible for her to recognize and stay in good relationships over the years.
“It’s time you let her start cleaning up her own mess, instead of being her crutch.” Ashley had said this particular line on numerous occasions and it always fell on deaf ears.
“I might hate her, but I can’t abandon her. She never abandoned me.” Bella’s lips thinned into a resolute line.
“That’s probably the only thing she did right,” Ashley muttered under her breath.
Distracted, Kat moved her elbow and it knocked over her wineglass. It crashed on the hardwood floor.
“Oh, my goodness! Sorry. I’ll clean it up.” She bent to pick up the fragments of glass, but Ashley stopped her.
“Let it be. Someone will take care of it later.”
Someone meant her housekeeper. Ashley had a full-time, on-call housekeeper now. It was one of the changes Kat was still trying to wrap her head around.
Bella patted her hand from over the table. “You’ve had a distressing week. Appearing on TV and all.”
This and that had no relation, but she didn’t miss Ashley and Bella trading anxious looks. Clearly, they’d been having a discussion about her behind her back.
“Is there something you want to tell us?” Ashley was the one who got to broach this uncomfortable subject.
Kat stared down at the salad on her plate, unsure of where to begin this conversation. Ashley and Bella were her best friends, so she was going to have to tell them about Alex eventually. But eventually could mean in a few months, right?
“Well, yes. I’m covering the mayoral race now.” Kat pushed around the food on her plate with the fork, guilt gnawing the pit of her stomach.
She should tell them. Ashley and Bella were so open with her about everything. She’d feel bad for keeping it from them later.
“You’re not eating anything.” Bella’s astute observation didn’t miss the mark.
Kat took a swig of orange juice to ease her anxiety. “Actually… I wanted to…”
“Something happened that day at the subway, right? You’ve been quiet since then,” Bella remarked.
“Yes…” She’d met Alex on the subway. “But it’s not what you think.”
“We can’t force you to talk about it.” Ashley’s voice dropped to a soothing hush. “It can be hard to talk about… difficult experiences. But we’re here for you, if you want to.”
“I wasn’t raped, guys. Please stop being so suspicious. I would tell you if that was the case.” Kat bit her lip. “The thing is, there is… a man.”
Bella’s hands stilled on the fork. “I must have heard wrong. I thought you said man.”
“I did say man.”
“And this man did not rape you?” Ashley interjected.
“No, he did not. Can you stop going on about that?”
“Oh, oh, right, it must be some guy at work, right? Sorry, I just thought for a second… what was I thinking?” Bella shook her head, like she’d said something stupid in her drunkenness.
Kat felt some of her courage drain out.
Maybe Ashley and Bella were not prepared to handle the news of her being with someone. To them, she was the one who’d sworn to be single and childless all her life. Until last night, she’d thought the same.
Her mind was unchanged about marriage and kids. Kat couldn’t see herself with Alex long-term. They were both too ambitious to make the sacrifices that would be required for them to stay together. He’d want to take on Capitol Hill or the White House someday, and all she wanted was to stay here and write news. So their break-up was inevitable.
But that didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy whatever time she had with him. He was someone she really liked being with and for now, that was all she could ask for.
“No, it’s not some guy at work… it’s kinda related to work… but it’s become personal too…” Kat dithered.
Ashley clicked her fingers, like she’d had a lightbulb moment.
“Someone’s stalking you?”
Under saner circumstances, Bella would’ve been right. For a long time, the only guys Kat had talked about had been her colleagues, her bosses and her stalkers.
“No…”
“Did someone criticize your work? Attack you personally?” Bella followed up.
“I wouldn’t use the word attack…” Kat dipped her head to the right, not even sure which question she was answering.
“Then what word would you use?” Ashley prodded.
“Kissed?”
Deathly silence. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. When nobody had said anything by ten, Kat got fidgety. Agreed, it was a shocker. But shouldn’t they have something to say? Shouldn’t they have many, many things to say?
“Bill kissed you?” Bella’s voice was a barely
-there whisper when she uttered the next words fifteen seconds later. “That’s sexual harassment!”
Oh, God. This was really not going down the right way. “Not Bill. Someone else. And it was consensual.”
Coughs sputtered out. Bella and Ashley choked on their food in unison, then hurriedly fumbled for their glasses of wine.
I told my friends I kissed a guy and they choked. How appropriate.
“Who?” Ashley demanded, eyes watering.
“Alex Summer.”
Bella was peeling herself from the chair already. “The hot congressman running for mayor?”
“The very same.” Kat dove into her chickpea salad and gulped down a spoonful.
“Not shit,” Bella applauded. “Well done. Not too many faces like his going around these days. Just sayin’.”
Bella was a regular on the NYC dating scene, so she’d know.
“But isn’t he a lot older than her? He must be forty, at least.” Ashley glowered at Bella’s superficiality.
“Age doesn’t matter. He’s single, he’s heterosexual, out of his twenties and earns well. In this city, finding someone like that is like winning the lottery.” Bella brushed away Ashley’s concern.
“But isn’t it too soon? She barely knows him.”
Scoffing, Bella flipped her hair. “Says the girl who kissed her future husband after talking to him for three minutes in a bar. You don’t need to worry about Kat. She’s so good at her job that I’d be surprised if she didn’t have every detail of his life recorded with dates.”
“Knowing facts about a person is different from actually knowing them.” Kat flexed her toes under the table.
Bella ignored her and lunged for the dessert. “This demands a celebration. My eternally single friend has someone in her life.”
“Don’t get your hopes up. It’s not even serious. It might fizzle out anytime,” Kat warned. She wasn’t pinning any long-term hopes on Alex. Since she wasn’t as matrimonially minded as either Bella or Ashley, a short-term fling was still good news to her, though. It’d break the monotony of her life for a little while, help her have a little fun and rev up her sex life. “Please keep this to yourselves. The relationship is a secret.”
In my Arms Tonight (NYC Singles Book 2) Page 10