by Cara Dee
I'm holding interesting info about your son hostage. It's yours if you agree to join me and the Gradys for guys' night on Saturday.
Chapter 5
William Calvert
After the sixth attempt at fixing my tie, I chucked it in the garbage and picked out a fitted pullover instead. The button-down ended up on the bed, and I ignored Lissa's amused expression while she was putting on her earrings.
"I could've helped you, William."
Of course she could. Lissa could do everything.
I smoothed down my shirt and eyed myself critically in the mirror. When my wife bought the pullover, it had fit my body perfectly, even showing some definition of muscles. Now the dark red fabric hung looser.
Same with my jeans, and I had to take the belt in another notch.
"I think this will be good for you," Lissa commented. "It's been a while since you saw your friends."
I grunted noncommittally. The barbecue with the Nelsons would've been better. There, I knew what to expect. There, I could fake having a decent time. Jack and Alex, with whom I'd say I was closest these days, weren't much unlike Kelly in the way that they saw through me.
Thankfully, we were a private bunch. If I didn’t offer any explanations, they let it go.
Kelly wouldn’t. The goddamn bastard.
"I'll probably be home early." I pocketed my wallet, keys, and phone. "Where are you and…" I squinted, trying to remember.
"Sharon," Lissa supplied. That was it. Sharon Nelson. The barbecue was canceled, and Lissa and Sharon were heading to the Valley for cocktails. "I think we'll try the new karaoke bar on Hemlock Avenue."
That sounded dreadful.
"I hope you have fun." I debated whether or not to bring any medication. I'd already taken my antidepressant, but then there was anxiety. Kelly was bound to bring me some. He'd caused my heart rate to spike several times this week already.
In the end, I decided against it. I was planning on drinking, and I didn’t want to mix alcohol with meds. Again.
Lissa and I descended the stairs together, and she reminded me to try to relax and enjoy myself tonight. Don’t worry about being home early, she said. Focus on yourself, she said. Have fun, she said.
I had no desire to walk up the entire hill to where Alex was house-sitting for his parents, so I took the car. I could walk home and get the car tomorrow.
The scenery changed on the short drive, the picturesque feel of Downtown replaced by expensive estates along the mountainside. Ponderosa was a fairly young district with only a dozen or so older mansions. The rest was modern, an architect's dream to go nuts.
Alex was a bit of a juxtaposition. The epitome of a businessman during the day, lost in the world of mergers and acquisitions, yet he shared a cabin in the woods with their youngest brother, Jameson.
Driving deeper into Ponderosa, I could see Alex having his own house here, as opposed to taking care of their parents' property while they were gone. But then, when I visited him and Jameson in Westslope, he fit in just as well there, surrounded by trees, a lake, the cabin they'd built on their own, and flannel.
When was the last time I saw them? I frowned, reaching the street Alex had texted me. Three or four months, at the very least.
I parked and got out of my car, taking in the expansive view of the house that overlooked the bay and all of Camassia Cove. Three stories were made up by a box-shaped construction. The second floor's rooms stuck out more, providing shelter and ceiling for the ground floor's terrace. Spotlights were embedded in the wooden paneling around the deck, and it was difficult to see the Grady folks living in a trendy place like this.
Unless the others had parked in the garage that was underground in the mountain, I was the first to arrive. I walked up the pathway and rang the doorbell, only to remember I'd forgotten the bottle of whiskey in the car Lissa had picked up for me to bring.
Alex opened the door and smiled. "Hey, Will. Long time, no see."
"Jesus." I almost did a double take. "Are you on steroids?" Marvelous. I was getting scrawnier by the second, and the previous stick in our group of friends had doubled in size. Perhaps not quite, but at least he could fill out his shirt.
He laughed and opened the door wider. "Jameson and I took time off work to do some work on the cabin. I suppose a few months of heavy lifting left a mark."
I'd say so.
Shaking my head, I told him I'd left something in the car and that I'd be right back.
I'd feared this, coming here. Seeing my friends happy with their lives, thriving, looking great. I envied them all and had for years. Unlike Jameson and Adam—Kelly, too—I'd never been obsessed with fitness on any level, though I had taken pride in being healthy.
I retrieved the bottle of whiskey and returned to the house, wondering—dreading—the changes Kelly's return would entail. Alex was a couple years older than us, and he'd been the big brother-type growing up. He'd taught us the wrong things as well as the right, a wise man with plenty of room for fucking around and having fun. Steadfast, quietly assertive, tall, and successful. I'd admired him since I was a child.
Kelly, Jameson, and Adam—even though we were all in our early forties now—had been the rebellious hellions, the kids of the group. Leaving Jack and me somewhere in the middle between them and Alex.
"I'm the only one here?" I asked, handing the whiskey to him.
"Oh, nice vintage. Thanks, buddy." He inspected the bottle with a grin. "Well, yes. You and Jack are the only ones who can keep time, and he called an hour ago saying he had to cancel."
That was a shame. If I was here to be social, I would've liked to have seen Jack, too. I supposed I'd stay near Alex tonight. Absolutely nothing against Adam and Jameson, but they tended to unnerve me with their bluntness and lack of verbal filters.
"I didn’t know editors had emergencies," I joked.
Alex chuckled, something lighting up in his eyes, and closed the door after us. "Actually, he's met someone, and there's a bit of drama going on."
"Jack and drama don’t mix well."
"Exactly." Alex's expression showed just how much he was enjoying having fun at his brother's expense. "If you ask me, he brought it upon himself." He gestured toward the terrace, and we walked through the house. "Do you remember an Aiden Roe?"
I knitted my brows together. "Vaguely. The author, right?" Or was that Adam's college friend? No, I was fairly certain it was Jack's friend from UCLA. Names and I didn’t go well, especially when I was depressed, though my long-term memory usually didn’t fail me as much.
Alex inclined his head. "A couple months ago, Jack started seeing Aiden's daughter."
"What the—fucking hell." Shock and amusement seeped into me, a welcome surprise. I didn’t feel much or often, so I savored it. "Tell me the girl's legal." It was impossible to imagine. Jack led a private life and liked being a recluse. His past partners had been similar, low-key and mature.
"Oh, she is." Alex slid open the doors to the terrace where a stunning view of the ocean and a fire waited. "Anyway, Aiden flew up from LA and gave them a surprise visit, hence Jack not being here. He's getting the third degree from his college buddy. Or should I say, future father-in-law?"
I chuckled quietly, trying to picture stoic Jack being caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "I would've expected this from Adam." Jack and Adam were twins and very close, yet they couldn’t be more different.
"I said the same thing," Alex laughed.
We sat down on one of the two couches, and Alex had already prepared bowls of chips and salsa on a side table. A basin filled with ice and beer sat next to the fire pit.
More aware of my surroundings now, I heard low music playing from inside the house, and I could smell food. We wouldn’t be having dinner, but Adam was known for bringing wings, sliders, and other snack food. We were a few of his guinea pigs for when he tested new recipes. No complaints from anyone. He made the best burgers Camassia had ever seen at his restaurant in the Valley.
&nbs
p; "Has Adam been here?" I nodded in thanks as Alex handed me a beer.
"Yeah, he dropped off a few bags from the restaurant then left." He set the whiskey on the table and grabbed a beer for himself, too. "He's picking up Kelly at the marina." Alex tilted his head at me. "How do you feel about the lost son returning home?"
I forced a smile and draped an arm along the back of the couch. "It was a bit strange running into him after so long, but…" I offered a one-shouldered shrug, putting on one hell of a show. "It was good to see him."
I wasn’t even sure that was true. Every time Kelly texted this week, my body had reacted strongly and sent me on a roller coaster of emotions. I didn’t appreciate the latter one bit, though there was a strange sense of pleasure in feeling alive. Whether it was anger or nervousness, it beat defeat and hopelessness.
The nausea and fear, I could do without.
At some point tonight, I would have to speak privately to Kelly about his cryptic text last week. Something about Brady? Knowing my son was talking to Kelly's put me on edge, and it had been impossible to get any answers from Kelly. He was adamant about me showing up tonight.
"Of course, he would've reached out to you first," Alex said, shaking his head. "You had to be surgically removed from each other back in the day."
If only. Kelly had bailed just fine—without surgery. I couldn’t blame him. I'd crossed a line.
It had me curious, though. Something must've changed for him to be back here and wanting…what, friendship? Judging from his messages, that was exactly what he aimed for. I'd lost count of the chitchatty questions he'd thrown my way.
Perhaps he didn’t find me disgusting anymore.
*
Jameson showed up shortly after, and as we sat down and got comfortable again, Adam and Kelly arrived.
I stayed put, only standing up to shake Adam's hand. Kelly got a nod before I sat down once more. He was in the spotlight, which suited me fine, as the Gradys asked him about everything and nothing.
I learned Kelly had lived in Texas for the most part since he'd left. That made sense. His family on his mother's side was from the South.
"Can you fuckers believe Kelly has a kid?" Adam grinned and threw an arm around Kelly's shoulders. "Carbon copy of his old man, too." So he must've met Matt.
"How old is he?" Alex asked.
I cursed myself for staring and tried to look less interested. Keeping my gaze fixed on him wouldn’t catch me up on the two decades I'd lost.
He did look great, though. There was no denying that. He'd aged well. His baby face was long gone.
"Sixteen." Kelly showed a photo on his phone, and Adam was right. Matt took after Kelly. Same green eyes lit up by mischief, same curly hair that he wore longer than his dad. "He's smarter than me."
"No surprise there." Jameson winked and took a swig of his beer.
"I missed you too, princess." Kelly punched Jameson's arm.
I frowned, uncomfortable with how easily they all seemed to slip back into the casual bunch of friends we used to be. It was as if Kelly never left. Or more correctly, as if Kelly had never left without a fucking word. It wasn’t only me he'd bailed on. He disappeared on all of us.
"Where's Jack?" Kelly wondered.
Alex and Adam were happy to fill him in on the misery Jack was going through in the Valley right now. In the meantime, I spoke a little with Jameson. I asked about their cabin, his jobs, and what was going on in his life. I played my role perfectly and pretended to be interested. I wished with all my heart I was.
"Are you still writing?" I asked.
Jameson and I had the same sense of humor. We liked it dry and sarcastic, and at one point, I had followed his work religiously because he always made me laugh with his satire. His first passion was tattoos, though. He co-owned a shop in the Valley and spent more time being a tattoo artist.
"I'm trying to get back to it," he replied with a nod. "I got a new column, so that should be fun." He jerked his chin at me. "What about you, man? You still on leave? You know we're here if you need anything."
Swimming with sharks ranked higher on the list of things I wanted to do more than discussing my leave of absence in front of Kelly. Gratefully, he didn’t hear Jameson.
"I appreciate it, but I'll get back to it soon." It could be true. Maybe. "Now I'm just enjoying the peace of an empty house."
He chuckled. "That’s right, your kids're at camp. Good times." He reached past Adam and whacked Kelly on the thigh to get his attention. "Speaking of camp, what's this I hear about you being the new Keep?"
"I'm the new Keep," Kelly deadpanned. Then he grinned, and I envied that, too. It hurt to look at him, seeing him smiling, seeing him…just seeing him. I should leave and let these people be happy without my misery hanging over them like a cloud. I may have been good at faking it, but my friends knew I was off work due to depression. "Remember when we spray-painted the old Keeper's toolshed? That shit was still there when Matt and I repainted the joint."
This wasn’t going to work. Jameson and Adam cracked up, having been there for the prank, and I couldn’t do it. The memories only brought me pain, not laughter.
Draining the last of my beer, I began thinking of escape routes and excuses. I had shown up. Technically, I'd followed through on Kelly's demand. He could tell me whatever information he had on my son, and then I could come up with my own kind of emergency and leave.
"All right, time for some grub." Adam rubbed his hands together and rose from the couch.
I took the opportunity to offer my assistance, because maybe a few minutes away from the terrace would help.
The last thing I heard before I headed inside was Jameson and Kelly sharing another blast from the past.
Adam must've heard it too, and he laughed under his breath as we walked toward the kitchen.
"Feels good having him back, huh?" Adam smacked me on the back.
I nodded and put all my effort into a smile. "For sure."
The evening had barely started, and I was already exhausted.
*
I reached my limit about an hour after we'd eaten. The meal itself had been a crushing disappointment. Having always loved Adam's food, I'd foolishly taken for granted I still would. Instead, I'd forced down some potato skins and drumsticks while the others had hummed and groaned at the flavors I couldn’t find anywhere.
Beer and shots were flowing freely, and when one was returning from the bathroom, it was another one's turn to go. No one noticed when I slipped out and exited the house.
I sat down on the stone steps, resting my forearms on my knees, and heard laughter ringing out from the terrace on the other side of the house. I should've known it would turn into an evening of reminiscing. I should've fucking canceled.
Filling my lungs with air, I peered up at the night sky and let the breath out slowly. It was colder now. No fire around to keep me warm. It took a couple minutes of sitting still, and then the motion sensors killed the porch light, too.
I closed my eyes and hung my head, struggling to focus on anything other than Kelly's voice. I truly despised how fixated all my senses were on him. It was giving me an awful migraine. Combined with everything I had learned this evening about his twenty-four years away from Camassia, I knew I was facing a meltdown in the near future.
Considering Kelly and I had planned on going to college together in Chicago, I wasn’t too surprised to hear he'd skipped that altogether. He'd taken a few night classes and then dropped out to work in construction. Since then, he'd gone from job to job until discovering he enjoyed restoring fixer-uppers.
What had surprised me was the fact that there was no mother involved for Matt. Kelly had snorted and smirked, then shaken his head and rolled his eyes—seemingly at himself. A brief fling, he'd said. The woman had signed away her rights to a baby boy.
Incomprehensible to me. Regardless of how much I doubted myself, the idea of leaving my children was unthinkable. I needed them more than they needed me.
; I scrubbed my hands down my face and checked the time. Eleven PM. Surely, it was okay to call it a night now. I hadn't had more than two beers, so I could even drive.
The door swung open behind me, quickly followed by the porch light flicking to life, and I squinted over my shoulder to see it was Kelly interrupting my peace.
"So this is where you're hiding." He closed the door and plopped down next to me.
I swallowed hard and faced forward. The light needed to be off. The darkness was helping me fend off the headache.
"Adam's breaking out the photo albums," he chuckled.
If I listened intently, I could hear them.
I gave Kelly a sideways look to see if he was drunk. Perhaps a bit tipsy.
He sighed and nudged his shoulder to mine, sending me a waft of his aftershave. "Feels good being home." He paused. "Adam asked the inevitable question earlier, why I split. I didn’t know what to tell him, so I said it was complicated."
What a cop-out response, though I was thankful. "Please say anything but the truth."
He eyed me pensively. "You don’t even know the truth, Will."
How could I not? Maybe he was drunker than he looked.
"Right. Okay." I wasn’t bringing that up now. Or ever. Easier to leave it in the past. As a big goddamn regret. "I'm going to take off in a bit, so if you could tell me whatever it was about Brady, I'd appreciate it."
He shook his head and bit his lip. "You're not getting off that easy. You haven't said a word to me all night."
"I don’t like the spotlight, you know that." I'd rather wait until we were alone. Out on the terrace, I'd let our friends be the firing squad.
"Ridiculous. There's no spotlight."
My mouth twitched at the irony when the porch light died again.
Kelly laughed under his breath. "See? I'm in the dark here."
I rolled my eyes. Punny. "Ass."
It was quiet for a beat, and Kelly took a deep breath. I followed suit automatically and waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness once more.