by Cara Dee
That drew a smile from me, and I kissed the smirk off his smug face.
I was still me. An overly emotional weakling. I couldn’t stop my eyes from stinging, but at least I could close them and get lost in the moment.
When Kelly palmed my ass and tried to get friction, I had to make a decision.
"I want to," I murmured, breathless.
But.
"We gotta stop, I know." He swept me into a drugging kiss, a slow and deep one that made my head spin. "Lemme touch you. I just wanna feel you."
I swallowed dryly, my eyes opening. His were staring right back into mine, and the air in my lungs was kind of sucked out of me. His darkened gaze thickened the atmosphere.
Eyes locked, I stayed still as he slipped a hand between us and down my sweat pants. Oh, God. He fisted my cock gently and shuddered violently underneath me.
"Fuck, Will," he breathed out. He gave me a slow stroke and tightened his grip. I was hard and could feel a wet spot against the fabric. "Can I get you off?"
Jesus H.
I hoped he could see the conflict in my expression.
How many times had I dreamed of this?
"This is going to kill me tomorrow." I planted my forehead to his and closed my eyes again. My hips moved unhurriedly, bringing my cock in and out of his perfect hold. "The things I want…" I licked my lips. Fantasies flickered past, as if I needed the reminder. "What I've thought about over the years—" I groaned and thrust harder, only once.
"I've thought about you fucking me." He brushed a kiss to my lips. "I've pictured you on your knees with my cock in your mouth."
"Rat bastard," I bit out. "I could hate-fuck you straight into next week right now."
I barely knew where those words came from; they didn’t sound like anything I'd say, yet they fucking fit, and God, I wanted it. Kelly seemed to want it, too. He moaned and bucked his hips against me.
One night.
"I'm sorry," he panted. "I'll stop. I shouldn’t pressure you—"
"Be quiet." I pushed into his hand once more and kissed him hungrily. My sac was already tight and heavier than normal, and my body took over. I was too weak to deny myself. "We need something… I can't fuck you dry."
Kelly swore through a ragged gasp and nudged me off of him. He left the room, and I collapsed on the mattress and stared at the ceiling. This was the moment to call the whole thing off. It was the right thing to do.
My mind spun faster and faster for every second that passed. Shame and regret lurked in the background but never stepped forward. Closing my eyes, all I saw was this moment. Kelly. Being with him this way. Getting my hands on him, touching him intimately. Then it was real; he returned with a bottle of oil and covered my body with his. He took possession of my mouth as he tugged down my sweats.
I got rid of my shirt.
He undid his jeans and pushed them off.
Underwear followed.
I yanked off his tee, and then his mouth was back on mine. We kissed like two desperate drunks. It was messy and uncoordinated, raw and intoxicating. I groaned and threw my head back when he cupped my balls in his warm hand. His lips fused themselves to my neck and moved farther down. Down, down, down. He teased my nipples, sucking on them; he moaned against my stomach, stroking his cock.
Layers upon layers of filters that I'd built up, practiced, and perfected for years were suddenly ripped away from me.
"Suck me off," I growled.
He cursed and gripped my erection, and a beat later, he took me in his mouth. I flushed all over, threading my fingers into his hair to guide his movements. My breathing was out of control, same with how I reacted to everything he did. I was engulfed by warm, wet suction that worked my cock eagerly.
No finesse about it whatsoever, and it was perfect. Oh, perfect, perfect, perfect. I managed to lift my head enough to stare at him, the sight making my mouth go dry.
"Come here," I rasped. "Now." I wasn’t going to lose it on his tongue.
Kelly crawled up my body again and landed next to me. I was there in an instant to taste bourbon and my pre-come in a bruising kiss.
"Are you sure?" Hovering over him, I grabbed the bottle and moved between his legs. "Do we need anything…?"
He shook his head. "I told you. I gave up years ago. No one since then—I'm clean." His jaw clenched when my knee accidentally touched his cock. "I'm a minute away from begging." He gave me a shaky smile, uncharacteristic for him. "I wanna feel it for a week."
I let his words seep into me as I openly admired his unbelievably sexy body. My childhood friend was naked and spread out for me, all toned and all man. Exquisite. The way he reacted to me gave me the guts to go all out. Emboldened, I locked our gazes and lowered my head to suck his cock into my mouth. A hiss escaped him, and his abs clenched.
"Oh, hell." He scrubbed his hands down his face before watching me with lust-filled eyes. "Will—fuck."
I snaked my tongue around his thick length, feeling it throb between my lips. A spurt of salty fluid mixed with my saliva, causing my eyelids to flutter to a close. I couldn’t help it. With no one around to judge—and me being too far gone to do the judging myself—I succumbed to the most depraved and deprived corners of my mind.
I loved sucking his cock.
I pleasured him like I was his personal cocksucker, a thought that brought heat to my cheeks. Tracing every inch of his delicious cock with my tongue, I tightened my lips as much as I could and sucked on him until he physically removed me with a fistful of my hair in his hand.
"For fuck's sake," he panted. "I'm pretty new at this, all right? Slow down—" He swallowed and made an ungh sound. "I almost blew it."
I couldn’t stop, though. I sat back on my heels, my erection glistening at the tip and pointing where it should go, and I coated it in oil. I was a man obsessed, starved, and impatient.
He wanted to feel it? He'd feel it.
I planted a hand on the mattress and closed the distance, rubbing the head of my cock against his ass. The light in the bedroom was poor, but I still caught the sight of my cock releasing a thin rope of pre-come directly over his tight opening.
Forgoing fingers, I spent more time on teasing him with my cock. I pressed the head past the first ring, only to slowly withdraw. Kelly grunted and hissed, tensed up and unclenched.
"Indescribable," I heard myself murmur.
"Please fuck me, Will," he blurted out.
I smiled to myself, a bit dark and sadistic, and continued teasing him. When he least expected it, I pushed deeper, and I didn’t stop. Kelly choked. I groaned loudly, burying myself all the way in.
So. Tight.
"You'll feel it next week," I gritted out in a whisper that hit his neck. "Kiss me."
He turned his face and kissed me hard, his hands coming to my ass. He squeezed and dug in his fingers, then trembled as I pulled out and thrust forward again.
Before long, there were only the sounds of our choppy breaths, hoarse groans, and wetness filling the air. I fucked him in deep strokes, and he drove me wild with how grabby he was. I found myself wanting marks on my body from his firm hands.
His body went rigid when I gripped his cock to get him hard again. It didn’t take long, and I kept at it at the same pace with which I fucked him.
"Your cock is perfect." It was a mouthwatering sight. Thick, first and foremost. A prominent vein snaking up the underside. Long. A slight upward curve. And now wet from leftover oil. "And delicious."
"Jesus." He drew in a shallow breath, staring at my hand working his erection. "Harder."
I went harder.
"Will…"
I swallowed the rest of his groan in a kiss, and the chase was on. The urgency surrounded us, as did unspoken words we did our best to ignore. Instead, I focused on now, on Kelly, on having him as my lover. The unthinkable had become real.
"Shit," he breathed out.
"I want to come inside you," I whispered.
He jerked a nod and searched my eyes. "I'm close."
> My mind raced ahead, picturing his release painting his sculpted stomach and chest. The mere image was almost too much, and it pushed me closer to the edge. My cock throbbed, buried deep inside of him.
"Me, too." I slid a hand along his thigh and grabbed on to his ass. Then I forced myself in roughly, my orgasm beginning to churn and take over. "Ah—Kelly, now, I'm—"
"Come," he gritted out. "I'm there…" The last word was stretched into a moan, and a second later, I saw the first string of come land across his abs.
I lost it all, rocking forward once more before I started coming, too. By some miracle, I managed to keep my eyes open so I could see Kelly climax under me. His body moved instinctively with mine, his hips shifting with each release his cock shot out.
It was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen.
As the high of my orgasm faded, I dropped a wet kiss on his chest for the sake of tasting him. His flavor exploded on my taste buds, and I went back for more while I slowly pulled my softening cock from him.
Kelly shivered, catching me licking his come off my lips. We ended up on our sides, and he pulled me close for a deep kiss. His fingers caressed my face as he tasted himself on my tongue, and my chest got wet from his.
I loved it.
"I want to sleep in the mess." If I only got one night, I'd revel in every bit of it.
He hummed in agreement. "I forgot I brought sheets and new covers," he mumbled against my mouth. "Sharing your sleeping bag might be pushing it."
I wasn’t ready for either of us to leave the bed yet, though. "Later."
We had until the sun rose.
Chapter 12
Kelly Oakley
Will slept 'til late afternoon the following day. Shortly after breakfast, while I was finishing the second coat of paint in the loft, I heard him take a shower and mutter about his meds. Since then, it'd been quiet, and I was able to finish Matt's room. Gray walls, floor stained white—I only had the window frame left to paint.
That could wait, 'cause the weather cleared, so I could take advantage and get started on the painting outside.
I kept busy. I had to.
My mind was filled with memories from last night, and I replayed them over and over as I worked on the eastern house wall. When that didn’t work and thoughts of "What's gonna happen now?" crept in, I called my boy to check in and see how he was doing.
He was busy with friends, so he didn’t have time for his old man. I continued splattering my T-shirt with red paint, and by five o'clock, I wondered why I'd even bothered with a shower this morning.
As I descended the ladder to chug some water, Will stumbled outside, looking fucking cute. He was rubbing sleep outta his eyes, his hair stood in every direction, and his sweats and hoodie were too baggy.
"Hey, sleepyhead." I joined him on the porch. Having no clue where we stood, I was shocked when he yanked me close for a hug. "Hey." I wrapped my arms around his middle. "How you feelin'?"
No one welcomed the closeness more than me, but I'd gotten the distinct feeling last night was a one-time thing. I knew we needed to talk; I had to apologize for pushing him for more, and I also had to be honest with him. Yesterday changed things for me.
"I named Brady after you, too." His nose was cold, and I felt it against my neck. "His middle name, it's Kelly."
I know, baby.
I hugged him harder, wishing it could give him energy the way his hugs did for me. "Aren't we the saddest pair?" I eased out of the hug and kissed his cheek. "Not feeling too good?"
He shook his head. In the space left between us, he traced a spot of paint on my shirt. "I was already a horrible husband. Last night took the prize, and here I am, wishing the world could piss off so I could have more of…" He sighed and took a step back to half sit on the porch railing. It creaked under his weight. "I'm awful for thinking this way."
I knew that line of thought painfully well. It continued from there to self-hatred the second he factored in his family.
"You're not literally wishing anyone away, Will."
"What if I am?" He picked at a loose thread on his sweats. "On the one hand, losing my children would put me underground—"
"That’s seriously all that matters," I insisted.
He gave me a frustrated look. "I don’t feel that way about Lis."
Oh.
I dragged up an old lawn chair to the porch and sat down carefully. I was sore as hell. "Have you thought about…I don’t know, talking to her?"
He nodded. "I'm crunching Xanax every time I think about it, but yes. I've given myself a deadline. Before Aurora comes home from camp, I'm going to tell Lissa everything."
My eyebrows lifted, and I admitted I was surprised, if not a little wary. Will was my priority, and I didn’t know what this would do to his recovery. Xanax was for anxiety and panic, which spoke volumes about his state of mind.
"Everything, as in…?" I trailed off.
He winced and dipped his chin. "Even that. I've ruined her life for too long, Kelly." He was absently rubbing his ring finger, reminding me that he wasn’t wearing his wedding band. "I cheated on her."
I swallowed. "I'm sorry." And now I was. I didn’t even know the woman, but we loved the same man. I'd yet to figure out what kind of love I carried for him, though the image was getting clearer and clearer. "I shouldn’t have come on to you."
Even so, I couldn’t regret a single minute we shared.
Will shook his head and looked down. "It's on me. I'll tell her. I'll be honest with her for once in my life, and we'll take it from there. It's the only way."
And we'll take it from there.
That put a chunk of lead in my stomach. This was the man who'd done everything for me. Thick as thieves and always there for each other—until I bailed like a pussy. He was a giver and had the biggest heart. Of fucking course his wife would eventually forgive him.
This was it, then.
"You said, uh, something about feeling differently toward her." I did my best to come off casual, probably failing.
He inclined his head, pensive and troubled. "She's the most amazing woman I'll ever know. It's different with children, but… Christ, I don't know. Regardless of how I feel, I have to fight for my family. They've fought for me."
Everything that'd been blurry became crystal clear. We would be friends. He would go through some rough times with his wife. He would be truthful with her now and put all his cards on the table. They'd move forward in time as the family they were, and he and I would meet up for barbecues and guys' nights.
"I guess I should eat something," he said quietly.
I nodded and cleared my throat. "Yeah. I'm gonna…" I jerked a thumb over my shoulder.
Back to painting. Back to normal.
*
That night, Will went to bed after I did, and when I woke up the next morning, I found him asleep on the couch.
I skipped breakfast, wanting to return to the island as fast as possible today. Spending hours painting the cabin, I was stuck in my head, alternating between angry, jealous, bitter, and upset. And I wanted nothing more than to place blame on someone else.
Life would be easier if Will's wife was a bitch and I could swoop in like some fairy-tale prince who saved him. Life would be easier if—
"Fuck." I moved the ladder and refilled paint bucket, ready to tackle the front of the cabin.
Life wasn’t easy, and the truth hurt. Will had told me nothing but good things about his wife. How supportive she was, how giving and caring she was. Will wasn’t stupid; he couldn’t deny our night together had been outta this world, but I wasn’t stupid, either. What was one night compared to two decades of marriage? Nothing.
If there was anyone to blame, it was me. I lost Will when I left twenty-four years ago.
I should consider myself lucky for getting one night with him. A night I still didn't have words for.
"Kelly?"
"Jesus!" The roof of the porch was in the way, so I climbed down the ladder to see what was
up. "You scared me, fucker."
He smiled faintly. "Apologies." Next, he lifted a brow. "You haven't eaten much today."
"Oh, look who's talking," I chuckled. "What're you up to?"
"Nothing right now." He looked uncomfortable for some reason. "I made an emergency appointment with my therapist for Monday about my medication."
That was good. I hoped it would help.
"I'll be right in to make dinner."
He nodded in acknowledgment. "Mind leaving a list of things I can do when you're not here?"
"Yeah, no problem."
There was a new distance between us, and I fucking hated it. It made sense, though. He was probably trying to act normal, as if nothing happened between us. Gearing up to fight for his wife, the last thing he needed was a lovesick childhood friend on his tail.
*
The distance only grew as we ate. We talked about the most meaningless things—our town, the annual fair coming up, the fucking weather…
I was done.
It was time for me to leave, and I didn’t get much of a reaction from him. After packing up my shit, I paused in the doorway while he sat down on the couch with his tablet.
"What happened to your ring?" I asked.
He looked at his finger, then back to me. "It fell off. I have some weight to gain."
Ah. Guess it was wishful thinking he'd taken it off for another reason, even if it was only for a moment.
"All right." I tapped the doorframe and opened the door. "You have my number, buddy. Use it whenever."
I left the cabin and headed for my truck, ready to get back to Matt. As I got in, I hit a weird angle, causing my ass to hurt. It made me snort and shake my head. I was remembering our fuck, all right.
I backed out and began my drive down the mountain, and I was lucky my week would be packed from morning to late evening. Countless errands, work around the island, after-hours carpentry to make more furniture for the cabin… Yet, I had a feeling I'd still find time to think way too much about Will.
*
"What's this for?"
"A fucker can't hug his son?"
Matt chuckled and patted me awkwardly on the back. "Did you get cabin fever?"
I didn’t realize I'd missed the little shit until I came back and saw him creating some new recipe in the kitchen.